Chapter 11 : Split

*
I placed the sword on the ground.
Knowing at a glance it wouldn’t work.
I had to think of another way to bring it down.

I used the strongest magic I could muster.
–It absorbed the magical attack.

I tried a mental attack using the crystal.
–No mental attacks worked either.

–Naturally, physical attacks were useless as well.

–Nothing within human means worked.

In the end, I had no choice but to accept it.
That the creature, feeling extreme threat within the cocoon, had evolved drastically.
That it had condensed all its energy into one, becoming a meager existence one couldn’t even consider a cosmic being.

Therefore, from an Outer God’s perspective, it’s incredibly weak and insignificant.
A mere glance would tear it apart, causing it to lose its essence and disappear.

However, humans can never kill it.
Because its evolution focused solely on that.

Certainty.
It’s the highest praise for the human who pushed it to this point.

Despair.
Like facing a game that can never be cleared.
The powerlessness of being unable to do anything as an unreasonable being attacks with malice.

I never thought it would outmaneuver me like this.
I was careless. I should have ‘asked’ Ha-neul and guided him to deal with it.

Suddenly, I felt as if it was looking at me.
Then it emitted an unknown wave.

[—- –]

A regular, mocking sound.
I knew instinctively.
It was laughing at the human who couldn’t attack it.
A low-class laughter from one who hadn’t reached infinity, directed at someone inferior.
A declaration of war, promising to grow stronger and devour them.

My already heated head from the fight burned even hotter.
I certainly wasn’t feeling bad when I sent Ha-neul to the continent.
Now, I felt so terrible it was like I was about to explode.

With my head burning, my thoughts raced.
I had never felt such intense emotions since returning to being human.
Analyzing, judging, and understanding my surroundings.
Feeling the small joys of greeting my family, eating, and talking.
That was all.

Trying to suppress my thoughts, my body trembled.
My reprieve as a human was until my lifespan ended. After that, I intended to leave the world without regrets.
But what is this? Far from living a proper human life, I’m faced with another unreasonable being.
Even if I hadn’t stepped forward, this thing would have become even more perfect and crossed over to Earth through the Gate.

It’s as if the world is forcing me to abandon my humanity.
As if it’s compelling me to stop being stubborn and return to being a god.
The anger buried deep within me, the anger of a human, felt like it was about to erupt.

Come to think of it, it was always like this there, too.
The world, standing at the end of absurdity, always cornered humans like this, and insignificant humans were always toyed with in a harsh environment.
I thought hundreds of times that it would be better to die than to live sucking on the gods’ damn tentacles.

But because I wanted to see my hometown, because I wanted to go home, because I wanted to eat the kimchi stew my mother made.
So I abandoned my humanity and became the Outer God I so hated, doing things no different from those I loathed.
Even then, I tried to save people, but they wouldn’t listen.

It’s the same after returning.
The world has gone half-mad, with impurities and monsters roaming around, killing people.
Someone is poking holes in dimensions, waiting for a chance to devour everything.
What’s so wrong with me living happily with my family? Now, even a being that humans can’t defeat is trying to come over.

Helping Ha-neul was done using a loophole that didn’t damage my humanity.
A god borrowing a human body to perform miracles was a common concept.

However, taking out my true form and killing this thing is an act that transcends human limitations.
Because a clear causality is established: a human transformed into a god and defeated the enemy.
That will certainly cause tremendous damage to my humanity.

It’s a paradox, but it’s true.
To remain myself, I can’t help myself.

That’s why I tried to defeat it as a human.
But even that isn’t working.

Right. From the moment I became an Outer God, there was no chance of returning to being human.
A person should live like a person. A god like a god. Living according to one’s station is the way of the world.
Like a pine moth that eats pine needles can’t eat other food, I, who had already deviated from the human path, was forcing myself.

The loss of personality from transforming into my true form and defeating it would be immense.
Knowledge would remain, but it would be difficult to feel the same emotions as before.
The desire to return to being human would remain, but would my family be able to handle this situation every time?

…But I have no choice.
Just as my past self transformed into a god because I couldn’t stand the state of that world any longer, I don’t want to watch my hometown become like that either.

Still, it’s fortunate.
The three weeks I lived fully as a human, with my family, will fade like a dream.
But this time, unlike last time, at least I have a meaningful purpose: protecting my hometown.

One last time, I wanted to see my sister’s face.
Perhaps, even after this, I will visit her again.
Unable to distinguish the expressions she makes, without a shred of emotion remaining.

I just hope that the ‘me’ after this doesn’t face this kind of situation again.

So I closed my eyes and bowed my head.

*
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#
*
“Ah…?”
It came suddenly, like a clear sky’s thunderclap, amidst my sinking consciousness.
The thoughts of the being I considered myself pierced through my ears and brain, crushing my soul.
Like the whispers of a monster in the abyss, it crept towards me.

It was a situation I couldn’t understand or even think about.
But I knew one thing.
My true form, to save me, was asking me a question.

It was absurd.
Like talking to oneself in a mirror.
Like my hand or foot, a mere extremity, talking to me.

My personality and inner self are clearly in this body,
So how can my true form, reduced to a terminal, speak to me?

Is this an attack from the creature in front of me?
No. It’s still not making any significant movements.
It probably doesn’t even care about me anymore, too busy digesting the energy it absorbed on the surface.

My true form asking a human a question stems from the desire to save humans.
Therefore, it became his essence, a habit, a desire.
So, now that such a desire has passed to me, a human, it has no ability to ask questions unless I control it.

I don’t know where things got twisted.
It’s absurd, but what’s certain is that my true form treated me as a human and showed me the way.
A question to oneself… Doesn’t it seem like my true form and I are separated?

*Chuckle.*
I laughed.
I didn’t feel so bad anymore.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I decided to play along with this ludicrous game.
After this situation ends, I’ll question him, and something will come out of it.

It was strange.
The feeling, the emotions that were plummeting just moments ago, are now fluctuating wildly.
Confidence fills my heart.
I can’t control my body trembling with anticipation.

Nevertheless, as a human, I compose myself to answer the god.

I lift my eyelids, weighed down by anguish.
I straighten my legs, weakened by rage.
I stretch my shoulders and back, slumped in despair.
Finally, I pick up the fallen holy sword and point it at the creature.

How can I, who knows its heart better than anyone, not accept the path offered by a god who loves humans, as a mere, insignificant human?

So I spoke.

“Help me.”

A human answered a god.
The heavens split, and starlight blazed towards the holy sword.
The sword, tempered in rainbow hues like stars, cut through the profane colors.