Chapter 17: A Kaijin’s Welcome

Several magical girls were gathered outside the base, their faces a mixture of annoyance and apprehension. Ray, the racist American, was among them.

“You came, darkie,” she said.

“And you, whitey,” Si-yool replied. He hadn’t seen her in the barracks. She must have been waiting outside. An idiot and eager. The epitome of a slacker. Si-yool’s mood soured. He was an A-grade soldier, and he had to deal with this?

“Darkie, why is there blood on your arm?” Ray asked, pointing.

“Oh, this?” Si-yool said, looking at the small wound on his arm. Sora had bitten him when he refused to wake up. Like a fox, she’d used her mouth first.

He wasn’t going to explain it to her. She wouldn’t understand.

“I was bitten,” he said, glaring at Sora, who quickly averted her gaze. A sneaky little b*tch.

“Bitten?” Ray asked, confused.

“Yeah, really hard,” Si-yool replied.

“By a Samsung?”

“No, by a fiery fox.”

“Ah, Firefox,” Ray said, nodding.

“Everyone, quiet! The Magical Company Commander is here!” Sora interrupted, her face flushed. Had she suddenly developed a conscience?

A magical girl with two diamonds on her armband approached.

“Is everyone here?” she asked. She was probably the company commander.

The chatter died down, replaced by a tense silence.

“Prepare,” the commander said.

The magical girls raised their wands and chanted in unison, “Transform!”

Si-yool watched as the two magical girls beside him transformed, witnessing the spectacle he’d only seen in fiction. His initial reaction was not awe, but annoyance.

“You idiots,” he muttered.

The combined light from the transforming magical girls was blinding.

“My eyes!” he hissed, shielding his face. It was incredibly painful. Couldn’t they transform somewhere else? This was just inconsiderate. He’d be filing a complaint later.

As the light subsided, he saw the transformed magical girls in their costumes. Ray was dressed as a cowgirl, and Sora as a blue-themed shrine maiden. Both costumes were incredibly revealing. Si-yool averted his gaze, embarrassed.

He knew these magical girls were crazy, yet his body still reacted.

“Damn it,” he muttered, feeling conflicted. He couldn’t help his physical reactions, but he was still attracted to these lunatics? Did that make him crazy too?

“Sunbae, what do you think of my sister’s transformation?” Sora asked, approaching him with a sly smile.

“It’s… terrible,” Si-yool replied.

“Oh, how did you know her magical girl name is Golden Retriever?” Sora asked, surprised.

He hadn’t meant it as a compliment, but he’d been right. Her mascot was a golden retriever too. So, she really was a b*tch.

“Because she’s a b*tch,” Si-yool thought. He wasn’t going to say it out loud, though.

“You mean that in a good way, right?” Sora asked, her tone sharp.

Si-yool ignored her. He didn’t have time to respond. The company commander was pointing towards a group of kaijin in the distance.

“Forward!” she commanded.

The magical girls charged towards the kaijin, some flying, others running in formation.

Si-yool remained where he was.

“Aren’t you coming, darkie?” Ray asked.

“Sunbae, let’s go!” Sora added.

Si-yool ignored them. What was he supposed to do? He had no powers, and he didn’t know what to do.

“You, the man,” the commander said, her voice sharp, her expression annoyed. “What are you doing? Disobeying a magical order is punishable by death.”

Si-yool held up his empty hands.

“Where’s your wand?” the commander demanded.

“Don’t have one.”

“Your mascot?”

“Don’t have one of those either.”

The commander sighed, clutching her head. She glared at him with a mixture of disgust and contempt.

“Don’t ever call yourself a magical girl,” she spat.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, you idiot,” Si-yool retorted.

The commander’s annoyance quickly returned. “You still have to do your duty! Why are you just standing there? Were you dragged here against your will or something?”

What a stupid question. Of course he was dragged here.

“Yes,” Si-yool replied, meeting her gaze.

“You… you didn’t volunteer to be a magical girl? You were actually forced?” the commander asked, bewildered.

Apparently, there were crazy people who wanted to be magical girls. This world was too much for a normal person like him. It was the end times.

“Yes,” Si-yool confirmed.

The commander frantically dialed a number, presumably to report this to her superiors.

“It’s me… yes… there’s a situation…”

She clearly didn’t know who he was or what had happened during his evaluation.

Si-yool waved at Ray and Sora. “See ya. Good luck,” he said. He wouldn’t be joining them.

“F*ck,” Si-yool muttered. He was wrong.

He was going to fight the kaijin after all.

“Sunbae, stop swearing,” Sora said.

“How can I not?” Si-yool retorted.

After a few phone calls, the company commander had returned and handed him a wand.

“They’re sending me to fight kaijin with this?! Of course I’m going to swear!” he exclaimed.

“But sunbae, you can still use basic magic with a standard issue wand. It’s not a personalized one, but it’s quite sturdy,” Sora explained.

“I can’t use magic,” Si-yool said flatly.

“Oh… right,” Sora mumbled.

It was absurd. They were sending him, a powerless man, to fight monsters with a magic wand.

Well, it wasn’t that absurd, considering this world was filled with lunatics.

Ray and Sora, anticipating his… reluctance, had waited for him. Now, they were heading towards the battle together.

“Did you argue with them again, darkie?” Ray asked.

“Of course I did,” Si-yool replied. He’d protested vehemently, even grabbing the commander by the collar.

“But you still came? Why?” Ray asked, confused.

“The battalion commander insisted,” the commander had stammered.

“That damn b*tch,” Si-yool muttered. Some things never changed. Officers were always the problem. He’d be adding the battalion commander to his complaint list.

“There’s something… strange about this situation,” Sora said suddenly.

“What now?” Si-yool asked. Was there something even more absurd than sending a normal person to fight monsters?

“The location,” Sora replied.

“What about it?”

“Don’t you know?”

“No.” He hadn’t been on Earth during the kaijin invasion.

“Oh, right, you were in another world,” Sora said, rolling her eyes.

“It wasn’t a game, dammit!” Si-yool retorted.

“Anyway,” Sora continued, ignoring him. “Kaijin usually appear in civilian residential areas.”

“Really?”

“Yes. That’s why most bases are located in cities. And we use gates for long-distance deployments.”

Gates? Like in fantasy novels? Si-yool felt a strange sense of displacement, as if he was the one from another world.

“But why would they appear right in front of a base?” Sora asked, her voice laced with suspicion.

It was strange. Magical girls were trained to fight kaijin. Why would the kaijin attack a place filled with their natural enemies?

“Has this happened before?” Si-yool asked.

“Once, during the initial invasion. But it was just one kaijin, not a group like this,” Sora explained.

And it wasn’t just a few, but a whole horde.

“I heard this secondhand, though. It was before magical girls existed. I think everyone died except for one person,” Sora added.

Well, they weren’t magical girls, so it was to be expected.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just… strange,” Sora said, trying to dismiss her concerns.

But Si-yool couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Why attack a base? Were they suicidal? Or did they have another motive? Even if kaijin acted on instinct, they wouldn’t deviate so drastically from their usual behavior.

“Sunbae! Look out!” Sora yelled.

“Darkie! Dodge!” Ray shouted.

“What are you—?” Si-yool began, but his words were cut short by the sight of sharp fangs, much closer than he’d anticipated.

A kaijin was lunging at him, its jaws open wide, ready to tear him apart.

“Oh,” Si-yool said faintly.