Chapter 20: Choi Yu-jin (7)

Yu-jin and Hyun-a were emptying their last glasses while Hiro was out making a phone call.

“I don’t know if Su-yeong is okay…”

“Huh? Why Su-yeong all of a sudden?”

Hyun-a was puzzled.

Why Su-yeong all of a sudden?

Of course, Yu-jin had talked a lot about Hiro today, but this time it seemed like she was talking about Hiro who had just gone out to make a phone call.

She just went to make a phone call, right?

Hyun-a, who couldn’t understand why that was a reason to worry, asked Yu-jin.

“She’s just gone to make a phone call. Aren’t you being too overprotective?”

“Euum~ That would be right if it were someone else.”

Yu-jin still looked worried and stared at the exit of the store.

“She doesn’t answer her phone when she’s working or talking to other people.”

“Huh?”

“She says it’s polite to focus on the person in front of her at the moment.”

Isn’t she being extra?

Hyun-a nodded at Yu-jin’s words.

“But you’re just as extra as she is.”

You’re both the same.

Yu-jin tilted her head as if she didn’t know what Hyun-a meant.

She shook the bottle of soju and filled her glass with cider.

“I wish I was just being extra~”

Yu-jin said with a smile, but there was a hint of sadness behind it.

What is this.

They recorded the video in that short time?

No, that’s possible.

They can record a video.

But
if it spreads like this

Wait a minute

Aren’t I really in danger if this happens?

My address has already been revealed, and now my face is being sold like this.

Should I move first?

How much money do I have in my account right now…?

I have 600,000 won.

Most of my monthly income disappears when I pay off the principal of my debt, so there’s no way I can have money.

How much time is left on my monthly rental contract?

I signed it in March last year, so there’s still about 4 months left.

First, I’ll ask them to postpone paying off the principal next month.

How much money will I get in December?

Clearly, viewers weren’t doing well in October because of Chuseok and stuff.

So donations were less than usual, definitely.

Then after deducting the monthly rent, deducting the maintenance fee, and taking out the regular payments for the editing program and cloud.

…

Can I live on one pack of ramen a day?

No, no, wait a minute.

The deposit isn’t the only problem right now, is it?

I have to move the soundproof booth too, which will cost a few hundred more, so wouldn’t I not be able to move in the first place?

Loan.

Can I get a loan?

…No, that would be difficult.

There’s no way they’d give me a new loan when I haven’t even paid off the debt I’ve already taken on.

Besides, they don’t even treat streamers as a profession, so I have to write “unemployed” in the job section, and there’s no way the bank would give a loan to an unemployed person with more than 30 million won left in debt.

Then what should I do?

Can I just, have to trust them?

That people, my viewers, won’t bother to come looking for me?

There was even someone who kept trying to find out where I lived, so really just naively is there no other way but to trust people?

No.

There must be a way.

There must be a way to solve it somehow.

I desperately wracked my brain.

I concentrated on thinking so much that I couldn’t see anything in front of me.

I pulled out and squeezed out all the experiences I’ve lived through and the knowledge I’ve learned.

I take each step, relying only on the sensation of my hand on the wall in the unseen road ahead.

One step at a time
and I slump down.

Is the path I’m taking really the right one?

Is there even a path?

I couldn’t know anything.

I can’t see the direction or the method, so there’s no way there’s a solution.

I laugh.

It wasn’t the life I wanted in the first place.

Just the kind of life that parents usually want.

A life where you work hard in an ordinary and diligent way.

I wanted to live a life where I wouldn’t collapse even if I couldn’t achieve great success.

But why am I living this life where I can collapse at any time?

With a fake voice, a fake smile, and a fake appearance.

Why am I living a life of deceiving people and taking money from them with an appearance that has nothing true about it?

My past, which I had worked so hard to live diligently, is meaningless.

The naivety of trusting people is a huge debt.

Everything I’ve learned is a worthless remnant of knowledge.

And now
to protect the fake, I’m even completely abandoning the real

That’s how I’m living.

Standing on the edge of a cliff
I humbly flatten my body and avoid the wind.

Feeling the cold floor
washing my tongue with the dirt that hits my mouth

That’s how I’m living, even if it’s pathetically.

But

The world tries to trample on me, who is crawling on the floor like that.

As if
if you’ve done something wrong, you have to be punished.

As if the losers should die quietly.

It tries to trample even the struggle mercilessly.

The world tried to save me even if God would save me.

Even if I somehow solve this problem, an even bigger problem will come next time.

If I solve that, a bigger problem, and if I solve that, an even bigger problem.

I’m tired.

I just want to end it all now.

I want to put an end to this pathetic life and rest now.

There are definitely people who are living even harsher lives than me
but I’m too weak and worn out to even handle my current life.

That’s enough.

Enough.

Enough…

“Hiro, look at my face.”

Yu-jin grabbed Hiro’s face with both hands.

Then, she held her face firmly so she couldn’t turn her head and faced her.

“Uh, uh?? Yu-jin noona???”

“Hiro, don’t think about anything else.”

Just look at my face.

Yu-jin said that.

“Wait wait wait, unnie your face is too close just a moment just a moment unnie!”

Hiro was flustered, but Yu-jin didn’t care.

She just gave her arms a little more strength to hold on to Hiro, who was struggling.

“It’s okay.”

“Yes, yes?”

“It’s okay. Our Hiro can do it.”

“…”

Yu-jin said calmly while facing her face.

As if she was saying something obvious, she didn’t put any strength into her voice or put any special emotion into it.

“You’ll get through anything.”

“If it’s something you can’t handle on your own, you’ll get help and overcome it.”

“Even if you think there’s no one there, that’s not true.”

“I’m next to you.”

“So it’s okay.”

“It’ll be okay somehow.”

“I’ll make it okay somehow.”

“So.”

“Don’t try to let go, Hiro.”

Yu-jin took the strength out of her hands.

And she didn’t add any more words.

Just
she gave her a bright smile.

Hiro was silent for a while.

She was just looking at Yu-jin.

After looking at each other like that for a long time, Hiro smiled first.

She couldn’t help but laugh at the situation itself.

“Yu-jin unnie.”

“Yeah~?”

“Do you do this for other people too?”

When Hiro asked what she was worried about, Yu-jin shook her head.

“No~? My mom used to do this for me when I cried when I was little.”

Yu-jin said that Hiro was like a baby and handed her a tissue.

Hiro took the tissue and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Hyun-a frowned as if she didn’t like that look.

“You’re being such a pain in the ass.”

“Unnie~ You know smoking is not allowed in the store, right?”

“I was just holding it in my mouth because I was so upset that you two were being lovey-dovey.”

Hyun-a put the e-cigarette that she was just holding in her mouth back in and asked Hiro.

“Hey, Su-yeong, why did you come back looking like you’re about to die after making one phone call? What kind of phone call was it?”

“Ah, that’s…”

Hiro told Hyun-a and Yu-jin the truth.

That her video, a video of her half-naked, was spread quite a bit on the internet.

She confessed that she didn’t know what to do because her address was almost identified recently.

Yu-jin and Hyun-a were listening comfortably at first, but gradually straightened their posture.

And now that they had heard the whole story, they were lost in thought with quite serious expressions.

“That’s… kind of a big deal.”

“How did something like that get on the air?”

Hiro couldn’t answer Hyun-a’s question.

She couldn’t say that some strange bald grandpa ate her out because it was his taste.

“A sudden situation and a mistake overlapped.”

“Yeah, there must have been something wrong. So what’s the biggest problem for Su-yeong right now?”

“Realistically, shouldn’t we find a new house first?”

As a result of the three people putting their heads together, they came to the conclusion that they had to find a house first.

There was nothing they could do about the video spreading right now, so their personal safety was the priority.

“You guys are having a lot of trouble. It seems like you’re attracting a lot of strange people.”

“Hey, unnie, you used to attract a lot of guys too~?”

“They didn’t secretly follow me around like that, though.”

Hyun-a got up from her seat.

She had been occupying the seat for more than 3 hours already, so it was time to leave.

“Here’s the bill.”

“Yes~ I’ll help you with the bill!”

While Hyun-a was paying, Yu-jin took Hiro outside.

Hiro glanced back, saying that it wasn’t right to come out before the bill was paid, but she followed Yu-jin silently after hearing Yu-jin say that she had something to say.

“Hiroya~”

“Yes, Yu-jin unnie.”

“How was today? Did you have fun?”

Hiro stood next to Yu-jin.

A paper bag in her arms, Hyun-a noona who she was introduced to today, and Yu-jin noona who she was meeting for the first time.

“I had fun.”

“Really? Then I’m glad~!”

Yu-jin brought her hands together in front of her face.

A smile hung on her face, which was red from the cold.

“Hiroya~”

“Yeees?”

Yu-jin got closer to Hiro.

Then, she leaned on Hiro, hooking her arm around Hiro’s arm.

Hiro was flustered, but she didn’t push away Yu-jin, who was leaning on her.

She just stood there so Yu-jin could lean on her.

“Hiroya~ I thought I’d never see Hiro in my life?”

“Really?”

Although she said it as if it was unexpected, Hiro also thought the same.

As long as she was a netkama, there was no way she could go out to meet someone.

Yu-jin said to Hiro.

“I thought Hiro was a netkama.”

Yu-jin also thought the same.