Chapter 24: Magical Cigarettes and a Sudden Summons

Life as a magical girl wasn’t much different from Si-yool’s military days. The same routine: wake-up call, work assignments, meals, and…annoying superiors. At lunch in the Magical Mess Hall, Si-yool found himself facing Mint Turtle again.

“Well, well, look who it is,” she sneered.

Si-yool’s appetite vanished. “Just leave, D*ckhead. You’re disgusting,” he said.

“Why are you still using informal speech?” she asked, though she quickly gave up with a resigned, “Whatever, f*ck it.” Then, she noticed his food. “Our Warrior is taking two fish? Big ones, too. Impressive.”

Si-yool ignored her. She must really want some fish if she’s commenting on his food, he reasoned. He decided to be generous.

“Here,” he offered, placing two fish heads on her tray.

“What the…” she started.

“What now?” Si-yool asked.

“Why are you giving me just the heads, you reject?!”

“You said you wanted fish.”

“I meant the good parts, you idiot!”

“Don’t you know? The head is the best part,” Si-yool said, referencing a common Korean saying about fish.

“Are you insane?! Take them back!”

‘Ah, she was just trying to give me an excuse to give her some,’ Si-yool realized, taking the heads back. Now he had two fish bodies and two heads.

“Four fish. Nice,” he said. Mint Turtle’s tray was now empty. ‘Wow, she’s giving me her share too,’ Si-yool thought, impressed. “Thanks. Guess being nice pays off.”

“You little sh*t!!! Give them back!!!” she shrieked.

Si-yool felt obligated to offer something in return.

“Here,” he said, giving her a packet of peanut butter.

“Get that away! I’m allergic to peanuts!”

Si-yool smiled. “Thanks. Enjoy your meal.”

“Aaaaaargh!!!”

Ignoring her screams, Si-yool sat down to eat. He could hear Mint Turtle arguing with the mess hall staff, but he didn’t care.

Ray spoke up.

“What just happened?”

“Nothing,” Si-yool replied.

Sora looked at his tray. “Why do you have four fish? Aren’t we only supposed to get two?”

“Mint Turtle gave them to me,” he explained.

“Her?” Sora sounded skeptical.

Si-yool shrugged. Mint Turtle may be annoying, but she’d been surprisingly generous. He spotted her walking away, her tray completely empty. ‘She’s disciplined,’ he thought, admiring her commitment to what appeared to be a strict diet.

“Hey, thanks for the fish! Good luck with your diet!” he called out.

“That little sh*t!!!” she yelled back. Si-yool beamed, feeling a warm glow from his act of kindness.

“See?” he said to Sora and Ray.

“Just eat,” Sora replied.

“Okay.” It had been an interesting lunch.

Like the military, magical girl life involved a lot of cleaning. Si-yool had asked about using magic or magical tools for cleaning, but both options were rejected. There was no such magic, and magical girls were cheaper than tools.

Si-yool, Ray, and Sora were cleaning the flowerbeds when Ray stopped him.

“Wait, Magical cigarette butts go in a separate container.”

“Right, put those here,” Sora added, holding out a bag.

“The Company Commander didn’t say anything about that,” Si-yool pointed out.

“There’s a reason for it. Just give them to Sora,” Ray said.

“And what’s a ‘Magical cigarette’?”

“Magical cigarettes are different. They’re not as bad for your health, and they taste sweet and sour when you smoke them,” Ray explained.

“They also heal your heart and make you feel like you’re dreaming,” Sora added.

“That sounds like weed,” Si-yool said.

“Oh, we have Magical weed too. It’s more expensive because it’s stronger,” Sora informed him.

“I see.”

“Haven’t you watched PreCure? They have something similar,” Ray said.

“No.” Though he had read some PreCure doujinshi. Si-yool was starting to question his own sanity.

“Why are we collecting just the butts?” he asked.

“You need twenty of these to buy a pack of Magical cigarettes at the PX at regular price,” Ray explained.

Si-yool understood. This explained why there were fewer cigarette butts around than in his military days.

“So, you both smoke?” he asked.

“Just me. Sora used to be a serious smoker – a Nine-Tailed Fox – lighting up nine Magical cigarettes at once – but she quit,” Ray explained.

“Hey! That was a long time ago! Stop telling him that!” Sora protested. Si-yool found their detailed explanations suspicious. Only smokers could be so knowledgeable about cigarettes. He was surprised Ray smoked. He’d assumed her stupidity would shield her from such vices. ‘Maybe she’s stupid because she smokes,’ he mused.

Sora suddenly turned to Si-yool, her eyes full of apprehension. “Do you…dislike girls who smoke?”

“Not hate, just…not a fan,” he admitted.

“Oh, okay. I’ll keep that in mind,” Sora said with a flirtatious smile. ‘She’s such a fox,’ Si-yool thought, amused. ‘She said she was a lesbian, what’s with the act?’

Ray looked at him curiously.

“You’ve never smoked?” she asked.

“Nope.”

He’d never had the opportunity. Before being transported to the other world, he’d spent all his money on stocks. In the other world, he’d wanted to try smoking, but the constant threat of assassination made it too risky. The light and smell would give away his position. Ironically, this had been an advantage for him, making it easier to locate his smoking enemies in the dark.

“Here,” Ray said, offering him a cigarette.

“I don’t smoke,” Si-yool said, disgusted.

“Take it. You might want to try it someday when you’re feeling down. It makes you happy. I have plenty more,” Ray insisted.

Si-yool reluctantly accepted. He knew how important cigarettes were to smokers. This was probably her way of being friendly.

“Let’s finish up! We have a lot left to do!” Sora urged. They wanted to finish quickly and get some rest.

Suddenly, their mascots appeared.

[Master! Come back! Right now!]

[Ivory, we have to go! It’s a mandatory meeting for all magical girls!]

[Master, hurry! The General wants to see you!]

[Ivory, let’s go! White Phoenix says it’s urgent!]

It was a summons from a General – White Phoenix, presumably Jin So-a. Si-yool wondered what could be so urgent.

“We’re going after a Magical Felon,” Jin So-a announced when they arrived. Si-yool was even more confused.