Chapter 34 : Daily date (_)

“It’s gone.”
It has definitely vanished.

This breezy feeling between my legs… I hope it’s not what I think it is.
I was just enjoying the fireworks a moment ago, and now something important has disappeared.

Just in case, I glanced to the side, but Gaia, leaning on my shoulder with a goofy expression I could hardly imagine on a woman’s face, couldn’t be the culprit.

If she did this with that face, I think I’d develop a serious distrust of women.

That leaves only that mind-polluted Divine Beast somewhere, but since there are no alarms, it declares itself innocent. It has cooperated with this date for some reason, anyway.

But seriously, who would steal a man’s underwear?

Even women’s underwear wouldn’t garner much interest anywhere in the world, unless you had peculiar tastes.

And I have to hide this fact from this useless goddess, drooling as if her mind were a field of flowers, and from that perverted voyeur constantly aiming for my virginity.

“This is bleak…”

The rest of this date is already flashing before my eyes, and it’s making everything look dark. Someone even just took our picture.

Hopefully, nothing will come of it…but I know better by now.

The despairing waiter, the dancing people, and the fireworks show unfolding in the sky.

With the mood set, I felt it was time to move to the next location. As long as I keep my poker face, the rest of the date should be fine.

A promise is a promise, and today, I’m determined to do my best for her. I’m not going to let a little missing underwear get to me.

“Shall we go now?”

“Huh…?”

Has she seriously had zero contact with men since this game launched? I nudged Gaia, who was still leaning motionlessly on my shoulder, completely lost in her own world.

Her initial imposing aura and competent career woman demeanor are long gone.

“Snap out of it. You said there’s more to the itinerary, right?”

“R-Right! The most important part is left.”

“Lead the way. This world is interesting. Let’s visit again sometime if we have the chance. I’d like to go on an adventure, too.”

I want to travel here without anyone’s interference. Even though I haven’t tasted monster-based cuisine, there’s something inherently exciting about it.

If Unicorn could disguise my appearance like this time, I could have a lot of fun, couldn’t I? Rather than hunting bosses or monsters, I just want to explore the world.

Was that the answer she wanted? Or was she happy that I praised the place she lived? Gaia gave me the biggest smile yet and nodded.

Up to this point, it was a better date than expected, for Gaia. The food looked delicious (even though I couldn’t taste it), and the atmosphere was great.

“But not this!”

Right before my eyes stands a massive love hotel emitting pink aura. The sign even has a winking unicorn on it.

“Don’t people usually go to a motel after a date?”

She tilts her head, seemingly serious, even asking *me* the question. Has this girl been thinking about this since she asked me out?

“Absolutely not. Now I know who planned this date course.”

[The Silver Horned Divine Beast, consumed by thoughts of deflowering, whistles innocently.]

There was no way nothing was going on; I was too naive. The initial impact was just too strong.

“But if we go in now, it’s a chance to rack up a ton of Gaia points!”

“Gaia points? What are those?”

“Points you get whenever you’re nice to me or make my heart flutter.”

When did she even come up with something like this? And does she really think anyone would fall for that and willingly follow her to a motel? Someone might think she’s trying to coax a circumcision with a pork cutlet.

“For reference, you’ve currently accumulated roughly 140 million points.”

“How did I rack up so many?”

“For reference, Mr. Unicorn is second in my rankings with 12 points. Choi Yena is at negative 500 million.”

“That’s completely unreasonable!”

Why are all the women around me like this? I’m supposed to meet the developer next time, and I’m really worried she’ll be the same.

“By the way, when did Yena’s points drop so low?”

“Probably when she got hungry, ran off to eat at the entrance, and turned into a pig?”

“Isn’t that a movie?”

I should ask Yena later. They seem to have surprisingly good chemistry. I’m sure they could become good friends. It would be nice if Yena could play this game and have fun with Gaia, too.

“Anyway, what good are these points? Usually, this kind of setup leads to a wish-granting scenario, right?”

“Oh my! What are you trying to make me do?! I may be a goddess, but my body won’t surrender, even if my heart already has!”

“Your heart has already surrendered…?”

Gaia covers her chest with both hands, pressing lightly, with a blush rising on her cheeks as she looks up at me. It’s a needlessly provocative action. Thanks to that, my underwear-less state is at risk.

“Well, it *is* true about the wish-granting. To express my gratitude, you get to make a wish!”

Ah, she sunk herself. Self-destruction. Such a noob.

“Heh…like, say, finding out where my missing underwear went?”

This girl… she knew all along and was enjoying it.

“Log a—”

“Wait, wait, wait!!!”

“Give it back, you fiend.”

“Should I say I really don’t have it, or that even if I did, seeing you secretly worried about it turns me on so much I can’t help it…?”

“Log…”

“You really can’t wear underwear anymore!”

“What kind of nonsense is that?”

“Want to try it out?”

[The Silver Horned Divine Beast, consumed by thoughts of deflowering, suggests you come inside and try putting them on.]

“I feel like I’m being tricked…”

“How can this face deceive anyone?!”

If this woman, flaring her nostrils to their limits and grabbing my hands with both of hers, isn’t a con artist, then every swindler in the world is dead. A promise is a promise, and to enjoy the rest of the date, I need to wear underwear, so I reluctantly enter the hotel. Of course, I warn her not to even come near the entrance.

“Name?”

“Do I really have to do this?”

[The Silver Horned Divine Beast, consumed by thoughts of deflowering, apologizes, saying in-game underwear changes require adult verification. If it bothers me that much, I can cover my face with my hands.]

“You’re not recording or anything, are you? Because I will kill you.”

[The Lying Silver Horned Divine Beast assures me absolutely nothing like that is happening, and stomps its feet in frustration. The moment it stomps its feet, the entire region—]

“Alright! He’s got a temper. You want to become a constellation?”

“Name?”

“Jung WooSeok.”

“Age?”

“24 years old…”

“Verification complete.”

Perhaps adult verification is finished, because the underwear button is activated. But every time I try to grab underwear, it disappears, accompanied by a strange alert.

[Dedicated to the Demon King’s Army Four Heavenly Kings’ Junior Member, a vulgar woman with a depraved heart.]
“Wow…”

What a mortifying title, whoever she is. If I had a nickname or job like that, I’d just kill myself and quit the game. Not just the job, but the system-recognized title “a vulgar woman with a depraved heart”…

[The Silver Horned Divine Beast, now filthy rich from selling the video, complains that I should’ve trusted it. It informs me that to wear underwear, I must defeat the Demon King’s Army Four Heavenly Kings.]
“Hold on. Why does your epithet keep changing?”

[The Silver Horned Divine Beast, experiencing intense post-nut clarity, apologizes for its past mistakes. It offers to meet in person and apologize individually.]

“What did you even do in this short amount of time, you crazy—”

[The Silver Horned Divine Beast, experiencing intense post-nut clarity, says since I asked, it will answer. As soon as it received the video, it designated it as a world-class artifact, then took Gaia’s entire life savings—]

“You just wait. You’re getting reported to the developer next week.”
It’s just a self-introduction video, nothing special. My face will continue to be known since I’m streaming anyway, but

I found Unicorn’s antics distasteful, so I ignored the notification and went outside.I’m exhausted. I just want to finish the rest of this date quickly and relax at home. I feel sorry for Gaia, who was probably looking forward to this, but it’s her fault for suggesting a motel.

“Mr. WooSeok!! You’ve earned 1.5 billion Gaia points!”

“You’re an accomplice too!”

Give me back the original Gaia! At least *she* wouldn’t do this!

“More importantly, Hero! The village is under attack by demons! Heroes and adventurers are struggling, but it’s tough against two of the Four Heavenly Kings!”

“Don’t try to compensate for my video with that! This was supposed to be a date, right? Why are we switching to a battle story?!”

“Don’t worry! Even though you’ve lost your powers, I, a goddess, will be with you! Even though you’ve lost your powers!”

“I’m not doing it! And you said ‘lost my powers’ twice!”

“But…”

Gaia’s remaining words were drowned out by an explosion and the screams of the waiter, whose shop was blown up again.

“I will destroy this world that NTR’d WooSeok!!”

That voice… is that… Yena…?