Chapter 39 Part 2: (Bonus Chapter) Interlude, Yearn For Infinity

I leave Trinity with only minimal treatment, trudging along. There’s nothing left for me to do here. I… want to rest now.

-Grab-

Someone grabs my shoulder. I’m so utterly powerless that I turn around without any resistance. The culprit who grabbed my shoulder was Sensei.

“Sen…sei… That child…? Is she… okay…?”

I apologize to Sensei… but I can no longer fulfill Sensei’s expectations.

But… regardless of that, I have to ask about that child who took my place and even protected me.

[Sora is… fine. She’s injured, but… she said she’ll be able to get up soon.]

“I see… That’s good… How did you find me?”

[I just… saw you from afar, Hina.]

“I… I’m… sorry, Sensei…. I can’t do it anymore…

I’m… tired…. I’m sorry for disappointing you…. Just… consider me retired….”

It’s… so incredibly regrettable and heartbreaking to Sensei… but I convey my feelings to Sensei. I… can’t move anymore. I can’t do anything. I’m powerless… I… couldn’t change anything.

[No, Hina, I just came to say thank you.]

“Ugh, ugh, huh…? Thank you…? Wh, why…?

If it’s about protecting Sensei, you don’t have to thank me.

That’s what I should… do… But even so…. On the contrary, I…

In the end, I was helped by a junior, and a junior from another school at that… I couldn’t even protect Sensei properly…”

The words that came out of Sensei’s mouth were so unexpected that I was taken aback. But… even so, I have to tell Sensei. I’m not that great of a person. I’m not that strong of a person. I can’t move anymore.

[No. I wanted to thank you for always trying so hard.]

[Hina-chan has always worked hard.]

[So it’s okay. Rest now. I’ll take care of the rest.]

“W-Wait…. Take care of it… You mean… Again… that kind of…”

Sensei… affirmed me. He came to tell me that it’s okay to rest now. So don’t worry.

The emotions I had bottled up, the emotions that had been gnawing at each other in solitude, devouring each other, and leaving only one at the very end, the emotions that had been locked away in solitude, unable to see the light, began to overflow.

“I’m… not a strong person like Abydos’s vice-president…. I’m not… a steadfast person like that child….

It was that Hoshino who found the body of Abydos’s student council president…. She must have been a very precious person….

That child… As soon as a precious person was kidnapped, she tried to save that person by wearing herself down…

Even after experiencing such great pain… Even after being frustrated and having everything collapse…

To think she’s still fighting in Abydos… To be able to stand up again and try to turn everything around… I can’t…

I… can’t throw myself away for everyone… and not blame myself and move forward steadfastly…. I can never become that kind of person…”

[Hey, Hina…]

“I tried!”

“I always tried! And tried again!”

“No one noticed… but I thought it was okay… But… I guess it wasn’t…

I guess… I wanted attention too…. I wanted to be praised…

Yeah… Gehenna’s strongest… It doesn’t even make me laugh…

In the end… something I couldn’t even do myself… someone who just came up…

No, I take that back, forget what I just said… Sensei…”

-Embrace-

“…?!”

[I’m sorry, Hina, and… You’ve done well… You’ve worked hard until now… And…]

[You tried to support everyone even though you weren’t understood by anyone…]

[You wanted to be recognized by someone, you wanted to be praised….]

[I’m sorry, Hina, for only realizing it now, and…]

[Thank you for your hard work, thank you for always trying so hard.]

[You’ve endured so well until now.]

“That’s not fair…”

It’s not fair. I always thought… no one saw me… I thought I couldn’t be understood by anyone… But now… I finally managed to pull myself together and was about to give up… But now… if you say that… I won’t be able to give up…

“Ha…haha… Yeah… I see… Phew…. Sensei? What was that about a request?”

[Huh? Didn’t you say you were going to retire?]

Seriously… He has a knack for ruining touching moments… Coming all this way and joking… Still… I like it.

“Ah. I was just saying that. I just wanted to be a little spoiled by everyone.”

“I’m okay now, Sensei.”

Author’s Note:

I can’t be like Takanashi Hoshino.

I can’t be like Yumetsubasa Sora.

That’s because… I’m not those two.

It’s an obvious story, but I realized it too late.

Isn’t it funny? Sensei?