Chapter 51 Part 1: Cost.

I heard ringing in my ears.

My vision blurred and cleared repeatedly.

I wanted to pretend I was fine, but for some reason.

I didn’t feel like I could pretend to be okay at all.

I couldn’t even understand what others were saying after that.

I was barely holding onto consciousness, not in a state to do anything.

When I regained my senses again, I was in a hospital room.

“…Ugh.”

A strange groan escaped me, and pain shot through my arm.

Rummaging through my mind, I recalled what had just happened.

I was told I’d overused my abilities and was put on an IV drip.

I also remembered being told not to use my abilities to the point of exhaustion next time.

Since there was a lot of IV fluid left, I’d probably be sleeping in the hospital room tonight.

The promise to eat something at the dormitory if I won this match came to mind first.

I also recalled the faces of my friends who said they’d buy a cake or something for a simple celebration.

I never thought I’d end up sleeping in a hospital room like this.

I’d probably get an earful when I returned.

Honestly… none of that mattered.

I was emotionally conflicted because of what had just happened.

What I want… is the ideal me and that future.

I wanted to become someone… that anyone would admire if they were asked.

Someone who deserved to be called proud, that kind of feeling.

It’s natural to be an example for everyone… and everyone can’t help but admire me.

“…Haa.”

A sigh escaped me.

I tried not to show it, but I couldn’t help it.

Because I’m too twisted to reach that ideal future.

It’s the same with the match that just happened.

If I hadn’t regained my senses at the very end, I probably would have hurt that friend badly.

Someone who suffers from this kind of PTSD, someone who could kill, dreams of becoming a hero.

It was a situation that only brought laughter, but I couldn’t help it.

…Originally, I should confess this twistedness and get treatment.

But it wasn’t easy.

I wasn’t twisted like this simply because of some incident or accident.

The death of my parents? The harsh experiments? Those could be causes.

But the biggest reason is that a young man’s ego was trapped in a girl’s body… and they mixed together.

Unless it’s something that can be identified or sorted out, there’s nothing I can do.

Even if I tried to talk about my twistedness, the foundation was something that modern people couldn’t understand.

Even if I wanted to take the first step, I couldn’t explain the possession, so it was twisted.

Above all, I had a premonition that the moment I spoke, I would be further away from the ideal future.

I still wanted to ignore it, but I was also afraid of paying the price for ignoring it.

“…Haha.”

It was simple enough to make me laugh emptily.

In the end, I was in a state of neither this nor that, constantly agonizing.

What should I do… just agonizing… unable to choose anything.

And one thing is clear.

The time to choose will surely come someday.

But until then, I wanted to look away.

Because things had been going well… I might not have to choose.

Thinking like that, I stared blankly into space.

Since there was nothing to kill time, I was just going to let time pass.

But suddenly, someone knocked on the hospital room door.

I wondered if it was a nurse or a doctor, but judging by the knock, it didn’t seem like them.

“Come in.”

As soon as I said that, the door opened.

Someone stuck their body inside for a moment.

I wondered who it was… and Gong Jinhoo entered with an awkward smile.

It was strange that he had brought so many things.

“…Why did you bring so much stuff?”

As soon as I said that, Gong Jinhoo coughed, “Khm.”

He probably didn’t intend to bring this much either.

Thanks to that, I could roughly guess what had happened.

“…Did everyone give me a get-well gift?”

“You could say that.”

“But why are you here alone?”

“Everyone prepared gifts… but they thought you might not be feeling well… um, what should I say.”

“…?”

“There was an opinion that it would be better for one person who is closest to you to go as a representative… so I came!”

“Ah….”

“I’m the closest to you, right?”

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t really deny it.

I was generally friendly with everyone, but if I had to choose the person I was closest to, it was definitely Gong Jinhoo.

In fact, I didn’t even think anyone would come to visit.

And if someone were to visit, I thought it would be the girls, so this was a bit unexpected.

Of course… it wasn’t a bad feeling.

It seemed like I could spend some time thanks to this.

So, after a moment of silence, I accepted the gifts from Gong Jinhoo.

I wondered what everyone had prepared… and it was all snacks.

Does this mean I should eat and gain strength?

“…There’s more than I thought?”

I grumbled like that, but it was useless.

Gong Jinhoo leaned comfortably against the wall and just chuckled.

“There are a lot of kids who support you, Yeji, so it can’t be helped.”

“If that’s the case, I should be grateful… but there’s still too much. Do you want some?”

“It’s a bit weird to eat snacks when visiting someone in the hospital….”

He said that, but he ate well when I gave him some, which was pretty funny.

I didn’t think he was the type to be fond of snacks.

So, I wondered if something was up, and then Gong Jinhoo suddenly spoke.

“You know the finals are coming up, right?”

“The finals….”

“The sports festival is being held in a few days. The finals will be held at the same time.”

I nodded instead of answering.

I already knew that information roughly… and I wasn’t confident in losing the finals.

And as soon as I said that, I had to listen to Gong Jinhoo’s nagging.

The usual nagging about the importance of information.

Honestly, I wanted to let it go in one ear and out the other.

But he was saying it out of concern for me, so I couldn’t do that.

In the end, all I could do was listen to Gong Jinhoo’s nagging while eating snacks.

Then, after some time.

Gong Jinhoo, who had roughly summarized the importance of information in a few lines, put a snack in his mouth and mumbled.

And after a moment, he spoke again.

“Do you know how the finals will proceed?”

“Um… not in detail.”

“Well, I thought so. I’ll explain, so listen carefully.”

“Okay.”

“There are 32 students who have advanced to the finals. So, it starts from the round of 32.”

“Wouldn’t it take a while to finish the round of 32 in a few days?”

“That’s why we’ll use four stadiums. Four matches will be held simultaneously, so it will shorten the time.”

“Hmm….”

“And the finals will be held on the last day of the sports festival. In fact, the finals are like the highlight of the sports festival….”

“So, you’re saying I should know this well to avoid any unnecessary trouble in the finals… right?”

Gong Jinhoo gave me a look as if saying, ‘You know it well, so why are you like this?’

I wanted to protest, but I had nothing to say.

It wasn’t like it was the first or second time I had almost gotten into trouble for roughly listening.

It’s one thing to say that snakes have bad hearing and let it go once or twice… so it wasn’t strange that he reacted like this.

And I knew what to do in this situation.

Just act like I don’t know anything and stay still.

Usually, when I do this, the other person gets frustrated and tells me, and that was the case this time too.

“…There are a few opponents you should be careful of in these finals.”

Gong Jinhoo started talking slowly with that topic.

He said that students like Park Seongjin, whom I defeated, had an intermediate level of skill in the finals.

And students like Jin Sehee, whom I sparred with before, and her classmates could easily advance to the quarterfinals.

There were a few other people to watch out for, but honestly, it was hard to know just by listening.

I roughly understood what abilities they had and what fighting styles they had, but, how should I put it.

“Usually, this is useless until you see it yourself.”

“…Well, that’s not wrong.”

“Don’t worry. It’s a bit embarrassing to say this myself… but I’m the strongest in Class 2, right?”

The moment I said that, I regretted it.

Saying confidently that I’m the strongest is… something I can’t do.

Anyway, that’s not important, so I hurriedly changed the subject as if nothing had happened.

There were a lot of things to ask.

Starting with how other students were doing… and so on.

So, the two of us continued to talk while eating snacks for a while.

And when the visiting hours were over, I saw Gong Jinhoo off and sat quietly on the bed.

Then, just as I was thinking, ‘What should I do now?’

I heard someone knocking on the hospital room door again.