Chapter 9 : Spare Me, Heroine, Don’t Gouge My Eyes

“Shouldn’t you help? That girl looks upset.”

Beside me, Zhu Lubing asked in a calm tone.

“You’re young, so you might not know. There’s a saying: ‘Even an honest official can’t settle family disputes.’ And another: ‘Don’t meddle in a couple’s fight.’”

I whispered some wisdom to Zhu Lubing.

“I’ve heard the first one. The second one’s new—why?”

“I made it up,” I admitted matter-of-factly, but instead of looking exasperated, Zhu Lubing continued asking seriously.

“Why make it up?”

“Well, it’s made up, but it’s also my life lesson. Listen up, Lubing. When it comes to couples’ conflicts, no matter how close you are to one of them, you absolutely shouldn’t get involved.”

“They’re a couple; you’re just a friend. You help one chew out their partner, but then they make up, get all lovey-dovey, and spill everything you said. Suddenly, you’re the worst person in their drama for no reason!”

These are lessons forged in blood and tears, passed down to you. Study them well and master the Hanqi Style, got it!

Looking at Zhu Lubing’s crimson eyes brimming with a thirst for “knowledge,” despite the years gone by, I felt a rare paternal duty from my past life as her “foster father.”

“So understand this: sorting out the closeness of relationships is key to getting along.”

“Mm, I understand.”

Zhu Lubing nodded, glancing over there.

“Because Zhu Hanqi and I are boyfriend and girlfriend, we’re closer. So to protect me, Zhu Hanqi gave up his childhood friend, right?”

You don’t understand a damn thing! You’re way off in Photon Clan territory!

I nearly spat blood onto the grass.

“No?”

“Of course not! First, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. Second, I didn’t give up any childhood friend to protect you. I just think couples should—”

“Zhu Hanqi’s weird.”

Huh?

I frowned slightly at the girl staring at me with her crimson eyes.

“What’s weird?”

“Zhu Hanqi keeps refusing to admit we’re boyfriend and girlfriend…” Before I could retort, Zhu Lubing continued.

“But for someone who I know isn’t in a relationship, Zhu Hanqi insists on calling them a couple.”

I froze.

“The closeness of relationships is key to getting along.”

Zhu Lubing looked at me quietly.

“Is that girl special to Zhu Hanqi? Someone who makes Zhu Hanqi act weird?”

…Goddamn, so dumb.

I was talking about myself.

I sighed, patting her head.

“!”

Zhu Lubing, who’d been speaking in a robotic tone, trembled slightly the moment my hand touched her head.

“Oh, sorry. Habit.”

I quickly pulled my hand back. My old foster-dad instincts made me absentmindedly pat her head to show approval.

“…It’s fine. It’s part of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t mind. Keep going.”

But she grabbed my retreating hand, gently lifted it, and placed it back on her head.

I said we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Her hair’s so soft, though—feels great sliding across my palm. So nice to pet…

“So, has Zhu Hanqi figured it out?”

She looked up at me, asking.

“Yeah. You’re right. She’s clearly in trouble.”

I shrugged. “Okay, I was just reluctant to admit I used to be a total coward, making excuses to stay out of it and act cool, like I’ve changed.”

“But you’re right. Even if she’s not special, she’s still my childhood friend. Or rather, because she’s just a childhood friend now, I can step in without hesitation.”

I grinned, stretching and rolling my shoulders.

“If I saw my childhood friend getting bullied and didn’t help, that’d be weirder—thanks for the reminder~”

…

“When you came to hang out with us back then, you weren’t like this, were you?”

“No, don’t say stuff that’ll cause misunderstandings! Let go!!”

God, it’s straight-up a thug harassing a girl. This senior’s got a pretty face, maybe even on par with Mu Ziqing—but man, I’m grateful for sleazy jerks like him. Their trashy existence makes an average guy like me feel the world’s a cleaner place.

“Hey, you, didn’t you see—”

“Let go!”

…Huh?!

I froze, as did the heroine on the other side.

What the h*ll?! After all that mental prep, how am I crashing into someone else playing hero?!

“Who’re you…” I couldn’t help glancing toward the voice, but I went silent when our eyes met.

What the hell? Didn’t she leave already?

“Sh-Shen Yingxu! A-And Zhu Hanqi…”

Haha, Ye Qingshu’s eyes lit up with unfiltered excitement seeing Shen Yingxu, but they noticeably dimmed when she noticed me, her voice softening.

Talk about a gap in treatment… Can I cry now?

“So you’re Shen Yingxu? Cute as the rumors say,” the second-year guy said with a grin, eyeing Shen Yingxu’s icy expression.
“Oh, my bad, just a little chat with my ex-girlfriend. She’s overreacting a bit—wanna grab milk tea later after I sort this out?”

“…” Shen Yingxu’s gaze grew colder.

“As for you, Zhu Hanqi, right? Didn’t we meet once in middle school?”
Losing face when Shen Yingxu ignored him, the senior holding Ye Qingshu’s arm glanced my way, then smirked at her.
“What, you’re still in touch with a guy like him?”

Sorry for being “a guy like him.” I get that I don’t have the status of Shen Yingxu or the others.

—Wait, what kind of guy is “a guy like him”?!

“Don’t talk about him like that!”

To my surprise, Ye Qingshu suddenly snapped back sharply, her resistance startling even the senior.

To cover his slip, he doubled down, speeding up his taunts.

“Not that other, better-looking guy friend of yours? You’re ‘friends’ with plain-looking dudes too? Not picky, huh. Or do you just love the ego boost of average guys fawning over you? Bet it feels great having him follow you like a puppy since you were kids.”

Sorry for being so average.

“You! Shut up! Don’t say that!”

Ye Qingshu let out a few pained cries, but the scumbag senior gripped her arm tighter.

“What? You didn’t deny our relationship back then, did you? Guess you secretly liked the attention.”

“I… It was you! You begged me not to make a fuss!…”

“And you didn’t exactly fight back hard, did you? Deep down, you didn’t mind, right?”

Ye Qingshu’s face was a mix of fear and sadness, like a lamb awaiting slaughter.

“Don’t say it, stop it!”

“What, finally remembering how close we used to be?”

I couldn’t watch anymore.

I didn’t know their full story, but I was ready to step in and stop it.

But…

“Average? What’re you talking about?”

Shen Yingxu, who’d somehow gotten close to them, tilted her head with a “what’s this idiot saying” look, her tone flat.

“Huh? When did you…” The senior’s eyes widened.

“That jerk Zhu Hanqi!”

Thud!

A spectacular knee strike, right to his gut.

…That looked painful.

“How could he possibly be average?!!”

Whack!

The senior flew at least three meters, landing near my feet.

Don’t kick trash my way!!

Shen Yingxu exhaled slightly, quickly fixing her skirt that flared from the kick, then shot me a wary glance.

“Did you see anything you shouldn’t have?”

“Absolutely didn’t see any colors,” I assured her, kicking the senior—now teary and retching from pain—farther away.

So gross, don’t puke near me!

“Good,” she nodded, rubbing Ye Qingshu’s reddened wrist while glancing at the sky.

“Blue like the sky?”

“Huh? No, it was pure whi—”

Gotcha.

She flashed a peace sign, then curled her fingers, mimicking a claw at her eye, pointing at me.

I get it—gouge my eyes out, right?

Like a psycho counting floors after a murder—is this what a heroine who just saved someone does? Should I call the cops to ensure my safety?

“Um… Thank you, Shen Yingxu…”

“No big deal. If anything, it’s my fault for swapping clubs with you. It’s not great to talk here, and you’re probably shaken—wanna hit the milk tea shop outside school?”

“Thank you…”

Ye Qingshu glanced at me.

“Zhu Hanqi… too…”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Correction: I didn’t get the chance to do anything.

“Since it’s all good, I’ll just—”

“Wait, you’re coming too.”

Shen Yingxu said, smiling gently at me.

“Hanqi, you wouldn’t abandon two delicate girls, right?”

I glanced at the comatose scumbag senior.

Delicate where? You’re strength and speed A-tier, Flying-Knife Girl.

In your last life, being a cleric was such a waste—you should’ve been swinging an iron club, tearing Demon Kings apart. Oh wait, I’m the Demon King.

“I’d absolutely abandon you.”

I answered seriously.

Not abandoning them might keep Ye Qingshu safe, but my safety’s on shaky ground.

Besides, I’m not curious enough to play therapist and dig into their drama.

Being a childhood friend only goes so far, right?

My instant refusal caught Shen Yingxu off guard, and she glared daggers, but I was fearless now.

“I’m taking Zhu Lubing home. I was invited to her club trial, and she’s the one who noticed this situation.”

I said calmly, glancing at Ye Qingshu.

“With Shen Yingxu protecting you, you’ll be fine, right?”

“Huh? N-No need. I’m not that delicate. That guy just startled me—don’t worry about me.”

Ye Qingshu’s smile looked forced, but her tone with me was as stubborn and competitive as always.

“Shen Yingxu, I’m fine too. Thanks for helping. I just wanna go home.”

“See? She said so herself.” I waved at Shen Yingxu, who looked like she wanted to say more, turned, and left.

“See you tomorrow.”