Chapter 1: A Life Of Indolence

I am alive.

The feeling might be a bit strange, but the basis for this claim was quite certain.

Based on the cold seeping through what felt like slightly thin clothes, based on the light entering through half-closed eyes, based on the undeniable sound of my heartbeat in the quiet stillness, I was definitely alive.

As is often characteristic of someone who questions the fact that they are alive, I had died once before.

There was no room for excuses or delusion; since I had died so slowly, it had to be certain.

However, since I am still alive, the hypothesis that God is an absolute omnipotent being has essentially been shattered.

After all, if there were an absolute being capable of reincarnating someone, it surely wouldn’t grant an opportunity to a parasite like me, who has no intention of contributing anything to the world.

Some might think of it as a new chance, a new life, and strive to achieve what they couldn’t in their past life, living happily, but I was the type of person with absolutely no such intention.

Thinking back on the delusions a friend used to spout during drinking sessions, I can’t help but think that the target recipient was simply wrong.

Even after raising my body, which had been leaning blankly against the chair, the exotic scenery still filled my vision.

An antique chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a bed adorned with glossy silk, neatly finished wooden dressers.

A mirror framed with gold trim, a table holding a smooth ceramic vase with a few flowers, and on either side, chairs with arched legs decorated with floral patterns.

This unchanging scenery, years after arriving at the Grand Duke’s residence, has now progressed beyond mere adaptation to the point of tedium.

…Though the flaw was that this biting cold, which made even breathing require effort, seemed utterly impossible to get used to.

Knock, knock—

A familiar knock at a familiar time.

As if seeking permission was no longer necessary, the door slowly opens.

Only two people act like that in the Grand Duke’s household; one was the master of the family, so it was natural, and the other was someone I had personally permitted.

“…Sister.”

This case was the latter, someone I had told directly because he visited so often.

A teenager, quite grown compared to when I first saw him, reveals himself through the crack in the door.

His appearance, seemingly a fifty-fifty mix of his childhood timidity and the Grand Duke’s rigidity, also serves as a bookmark indicating that quite some time has passed since I arrived here.

“Yes, little brother. Looks like you’ve stubbornly come again today?”

Closing the book spread open on my lap, I quietly hold a smile on my lips.

It wasn’t that I was particularly happy or that the corners of my mouth lifted naturally.

It was just an expression worn to avoid troublesome matters, as nothing was as convenient as a smiling face when dealing with people.

“You could have had a servant do it. I believe I told you there’s no need to come bother me every time… Tsk, just because you’ve grown a little, you’ve already become someone who doesn’t listen.”

Placing the closed book on the table, I grab the cane propped up beside the chair.

My brother’s apparent purpose for visiting—though I had no idea why he really came—was to escort me to the dining area.

Despite expressing multiple times that it was fine and his excuse was nonsensical, this is how it is.

Since then, aside from muttering slight complaints, I had simply been heading to the dining area together according to his unfathomable will.

“………”

Still, back then, perhaps because of his childish nature or my outwardly kind demeanor, he seemed to follow me well, but these days, he’s become less talkative.

Whenever I ask, he avoids eye contact and clamps his mouth shut; what choice do I have?

I just have to do as he wants.

“…Alright, let’s go down.”

Cutting off my attention towards my unwilling-to-speak brother, I leaned on my cane and slowly stood up.

Even during meal times, I only wanted to stay cooped up in my room, but these useless house rules didn’t permit me to remain inside continuously.

So, what choice was there?

Unless I became the head of the family and changed everything, I would likely have to live like this for the time being.

According to what was decided when I first arrived, at least, my marriage arrangement schedule was set for after I came of age.

The remaining time is one year.

Since I was registered into the Grand Duke’s family at the age of nine, I had already spent six years in this cold space.

Thinking about it, that’s quite a long time.

Since I spent it cooped up in my room, doing nothing but pursuing personal hobbies and wasting time, it understandably felt long.

In my position of being essentially sold off, I wasn’t tactless enough to indulge in the common hobbies of noble young ladies like tea parties or balls.

It was probably a good thing from the Grand Duke’s perspective, as he had the convenient excuse that I was physically weak.

The reality was due to my laziness, so there’s nothing more to say.

In a situation where I feel no particular regret for the past days, no envy for other lives, nor self-pity, I wonder what more there could possibly be to say.

Clank—

As the destination of my steps taken for the meal opened, a dining table, always seeming excessively large for three people, came into view.

Considering there were only two of us since the Grand Duke was away, it was even more ill-suited for the number of people.

As I sat down, dishes began to be brought in one by one.

Being disappointed by the usual, unchanging menu was a thing of the past; deciding not to make any suggestions about it was even further in the past.

Complaining about the side dishes wasn’t worth the effort, so I simply opened my mouth quietly.

“…Let’s eat.”

With the short declaration, the spacious room filled with the clattering of utensils.

Other than that, the only sounds were, at most, the breathing of the servants or the rustling of clothes.

No other sound existed.

My brother had become quiet now that he’d grown up a bit, and I wasn’t the type to initiate conversation during meals unless someone asked me something.

Moreover, the Grand Duke, who used to inexplicably pry into my life, was out, so there was no way conversation would arise at this meal.

Therefore, unless my brother spoke to me, this peaceful and comfortable mealtime would continue—

“…Sister.”

“…Yes, little brother.”

Hmm.

The peace was broken.

“Have you heard any news about Father?”

“I haven’t heard any particular news about His Highness the Grand Duke. Wouldn’t you know more about that side of things?”

Come to think of it, it seems quite some time has passed since the Grand Duke hasn’t returned.

I haven’t counted, but if I try to estimate by reversing my broken sense of time, maybe about a month?

Unless he went to a distant foreign country, there’s no particular reason it should take that long.

Especially in this world with the wondrous power of magic.

“Usually… No, it’s nothing.”

What was he trying to say that he cut himself off and swallowed his words like that, really.

I’m curious about what he left unsaid, but I don’t have the energy to ask, so I let it go.

There’s no need to be particularly curious anyway.

I’m not doing this to create distance.

If I wanted distance, I would have expressed my intentions euphemistically.

I am simply maintaining the mindset I had when I first came to this family.

To reiterate, I was a human steeped in indolence.

In that respect, nothing required as much tiring diligence as human relationships.

Nothing requires racking one’s brain quite like the constant game of adjusting actions, expressions, and situations.

So, simply living with a smile is the best way.

As long as I’m careful in specific situations, there’s no need to think harder; I can always remain a kind person.

This indolence will surely, undoubtedly continue endlessly.

Even if I’m sold off into marriage, I have no intention of engaging in things like romance; I’ll just quietly lie still in a cold room, heading towards death.

Maintaining the silence once more, ignoring my brother who occasionally glances at me, I finish my meal and wipe my mouth.

After that, drinking the medicine brought by a servant in a bowl had become a familiar part of my daily routine.

I suppose I could get up now, but my brother is excessively involved in these matters, so I should probably wait for him to finish eating.

If I tried to leave now, he would undoubtedly stand up without finishing his meal.

As if he were just waiting for that very thing.

It’s utterly inexplicable, but well, what can be done?

In this time running towards the end of our connection, with not many days like this left, it should be fine to let him do as he pleases to this extent.

Placing my hands, which had nowhere else to go, on my knees, I quietly waited for my brother to finish his meal.

In order to comfortably accommodate the wishes of my suddenly grown-up brother, whom I likely wouldn’t see much after a year—

KWAANG—!

………My thoughts were cut off.

The door burst open violently, and a servant rushed in, breathing heavily.

Normally, this would be the moment for one of us to say, ‘What is this rudeness?’, but considering the person who entered was the head butler of this mansion, it would just be a waste of breath, so I refrained.

As my brother put down the utensil he was about to bring to his mouth and turned his head completely, the head butler opened his mouth without even properly catching his breath.

“His, His Highness the Grand Duke—”

…From the very beginning, it sounded like the kind of news that brought an intensely unpleasant feeling.