Chapter 9: The Moment I Began To Envy Her

Now that Lilac was gone. I laid still on the soft bed, lost in thought.

‘Kim Sia, when did you become a man who relies so much on others?’

Shouldn’t a man stand up alone and move forward?

Didn’t they say a real man only cries three times after being born?

“Ugh.”

Unfortunately, the current me possessed neither manhood nor ‘real manhood’.

All I had was an incredibly weak body.

‘Still, being unable to even walk alone… this is just being crippled.’

Even disabled people walk with canes, and babies past their first year stumble around.

‘What kind of useless body is this?’

Whoever sent me here must be a psycho.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t have let me live in such a body.

‘So, the man I was is now a sickly beautiful girl in this other world?’

‘Sickly? More like a sunfish, maybe?’

Earlier, after being bathed, some greasy church-oppa type guy slapped my cheek, making it bleed.

He hit me so hard that when I came to my senses, Lilac was right in front of me.

Losing consciousness from just one slap… wouldn’t that make me worse than a sunfish?

‘A man’s dignity?’

What use is that now?

In the body of a girl who could die from a single blow.

For now, I’ll stay by Lilac’s side, and once I can walk, I’ll find it again then.

‘Beautiful girls are the best.’

If I had possessed a man’s body, far from being picked up, I would have been struck down by a sword right there.

The thought sent shivers down my spine, making my body tremble.

Anyway, where did Lilac go?

Given her personality, she wouldn’t have left me alone.

As if answering my thought, a kind voice sounded from the right side of the bed.

“Lady Lilac is currently receiving guests.”

Turning my head towards the source of the sound, Butler resolved my curiosity.

“I see.”

I felt my throat gradually getting better.

It was still a cracked sound, but now I felt I could speak without interruption.

‘Did the ointment Lilac applied earlier seep into my throat?’

I didn’t know, but I figured it must be incredibly expensive.

Anyway, I didn’t know guests had arrived.

Would Lilac be okay?

‘She seemed to really hate troublesome things.’

Still, this was noble society, so I assumed there were parts I didn’t understand and let it go. Getting curious seemed likely to just make my head spin.

I wasn’t the type to overthink things either.

“She should be back soon-“

Butler seemed to think I was anxious because Lilac was gone and tried to answer with a kind smile.

-“Kyaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

If only it weren’t for the scream echoing from afar.

Startled, I looked at Butler, who reassured me by stroking my head and speaking.

“There’s a slight disturbance, so it might be noisy, but it’s nothing serious. Why don’t you chat with this old man until the Lady returns?”

He ignored the sound as if nothing was wrong and struck up a conversation with me.

“Perhaps, since you’ll be living here from now on, are there any items you require?”

“Uh… um.”

“Kyaaaaaaaah! Why—!”

‘The screaming sounds quite serious.’

But since Butler is acting like this, maybe it really is nothing.

‘Or is it…? Gaslighting?’

Anyway, the sound gradually faded, and then distant sobbing could be heard.

‘Is something really wrong?’

Well, it’s probably not my business.

What could I, powerless, do to help them?

‘Hmm.’

Ignoring the distant sobbing, I answered Butler’s question.

“I don’t really need anything…”

Technically, I was also in a position to work at this mansion, making Butler my superior, so I couldn’t speak rashly.

‘But it doesn’t feel like work.’

‘What kind of job involves just being held?’

I still think it doesn’t make sense.

So I had to wait for a separate task to arise.

‘Though I don’t know if they’ll even give me work…’

Hearing my reply, Butler seemed to ponder for a moment, tapping his fingers on his thigh.

“If you haven’t decided yet, may I purchase some items at my discretion?”

That remark made my mind go blank.

‘Purchase…? What?’

‘Did butlers have that kind of authority?’

The butlers I knew weren’t like this character. Moreover, it seems he doesn’t even have Lilac’s permission!

‘Is this right?’

I nodded at Butler’s words anyway.

If I accept them, maybe I’ll use them someday.

And the choice I made today became the catalyst for things to return in the worst possible form later.

In Butler’s mind were various self-protection magic items and a portable guardian dagger.

Items Sia hadn’t even considered.

Butler nodded and looked towards the door.

“It seems the Lady has arrived. Then this old man shall take his leave.”

Butler vanished like a ghost again.

‘I didn’t ask why he does assassination.’

I don’t know his reasons for assassinating, but he must have his circumstances for doing such work.

What crazy person would enjoy killing people?

Shortly after Butler disappeared, the door opened, and Lilac entered, covered in blood from head to toe.

A metallic and foul smell spread through the room.

It was inevitable that my face would scrunch up at the smell.

Lilac, noticing my expression, stopped her approach.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t think.”

Then she quickly turned around and went back out.

‘What the…?’

Lilac wasn’t the only one who entered the room; a woman of similar age to her had also come in.

Her hair, which might have once swished gracefully, was plastered with sweat as if she had tumbled badly somewhere, and her clothes were stained red here and there.

Looking closer at the woman, her face was already haggard, and her eyes were red and swollen as if she had cried.

She had cried so much she couldn’t even open her eyes properly.

‘She’s not going to lose it and harm me, right?’

Even as I watched her with anxious eyes, the woman showed no sign of moving.

‘That makes it even scarier.’

Perhaps my wish for Lilac to return quickly was heard, as less than a minute after leaving, a cleaned-up Lilac returned.

“Why did you wake up? You should have slept more.”

“I just dozed off for a bit… hehe.”

As I answered her with a smile, she sighed, climbed onto the bed, hugged me as I lay there, and lay down herself.
Being half-lying down from my original position was comfortable in its own way.

‘Maybe Lilac will be a good caretaker if she gets married and has kids later?’

As I lay there awkwardly, Lilac rested her chin on top of my head and asked the gloomy woman in the middle of the room.

“So. What do you want to do? Now that the Count has been dragged away too.”

“…It’s your fault. Because of you.”

Lilac scoffed and spoke mockingly.

“Why is that my fault? The Count acted on his own and got his leg cut off.”

‘What? What did I just hear…?’

“You first!!”

“Ha. Now you’re even trying to pin the blame. Why are you complaining to me about the corruption he exposed himself by going berserk? I just handled it according to Imperial law.”

Since I was the only one not understanding the situation, Lilac lightly tapped my head with her chin and continued.

“Anyway. The Count will step down, and his assets will likely be confiscated, so go pack your things. If you resist further, it won’t end with just two legs.”

At those words, the woman bit her lip so hard it finally bled.

“I’ll curse you… I’ll curse you!!”

She hurled all sorts of curses and insults at Lilac and stomped out.

‘I shouldn’t try to understand nobles.’

‘My own sanity seems likely to break first.’

The mind of a sunfish couldn’t even keep up, let alone comprehend.

As I tilted my head, staring at the door the woman left through, a sigh-filled voice came from above my head.

“I keep showing you bad sides of me.”

I shook my head at those words.

I vaguely knew she had lived a difficult life in her own way.

Instead, I thought poorly of the woman who just left.

‘In the Land of Eastern Courtesy… well, not really. Anyway, acting so rudely. Nobles are something else.’

The Duke and Duchess, the heir, plus some renowned noble.

Are all nobles in the Empire like this?

‘If I had my way, I’d gather all the nobles and read them the Tao Te Ching.’

To act like that, no matter how ill-mannered. Tsk, tsk.

I looked up and asked about what happened earlier.

“Ah, that. It was the girl who just left screaming. Since the Count was disposed of, the Count family can no longer stand.”

On top of that, asset confiscation and stripping of title.

‘I retract my negative thoughts.’

‘If it were me, I would have cursed too.’

‘Cursing is one thing. It’s something that would make even heavenly parents utter curses.’

Fortunately, curses here weren’t as developed as on Earth, so it seemed parental insults didn’t exist.

Lilac reached out and properly tucked me into the blanket.

Warmth enveloped me from front and back, and drowsiness gradually approached.

“Sleep a little. I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

Unable to fight off the sleepiness at her words, I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off.

Although I had slept earlier, it was just a nap, making my body even more tired.

Since she said she’d wake me for dinner, I fell asleep reassured.

Still held from behind.

My manly dignity was lost in just two days.

I fell asleep like that, and when I opened my eyes to a voice waking me, what awaited me?

Before my eyes lay a feast, the likes of which I had never seen before in my past life or current life combined.

‘Is this the life of a Noble?’

It was the moment I began to envy Lilac.