Chapter 20: Following Iris and Sticky Fingers

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“There is not.”

“Really nothing?”

“Did I not tell you ten minutes ago that there wasn’t?”

“Something might have come up during that time.”

“How could that possibly happen?”

“Right…”

It had already been an hour since I started following Iris as she went around the banquet hall, giving instructions to the servants.

Iris didn’t seem tired at all, her steps never pausing.

Thinking about yesterday made me feel sorry, so I wanted to help with something.

Following Iris, who didn’t say much about me tagging along, I mulled over the thoughts I had yesterday.

I still couldn’t shake the idea that maybe I could leave once I saw the ending.

‘That’s only natural.’

‘Who would readily accept being suddenly thrown into a situation like this without any warning?’

‘Well, maybe someone like that exists, but it’s definitely not me.’

So, if you ask what changed, maybe it’s that I decided to stop thinking of this place as simply being inside a game.

I wasn’t very conscious of it at first, but yesterday’s events made me decide to just stop thinking that way.

The same goes for the sense of dissonance I felt while swinging the wooden sword.

‘Just that I am me.’

‘If I just remember that, won’t it be fine?’

‘My body might be quite a bit smaller than a strapping young man’s, but isn’t the heart what matters?’

‘The body is merely a vessel for the soul.’

Anyway, thinking like that put my mind much more at ease.

Greeting the morning with a peaceful heart, Lena, who was attending to me, told me that the me she saw yesterday was very scary.

She said at first she didn’t believe I was related to Iris, but now she understood, or something like that.

When I asked if that’s what she thought of the Ducal family, she insisted it was a joke and pleaded not to tell anyone else.

After teasing Lena, I headed to the dining hall, and unlike yesterday, the servants smiled without any sign of avoidance.

Seeing that made me realize I must have been quite harsh yesterday.

‘The influence of the mind on the body is truly—’

‘Enough nonsense.’

Feeling apologetic, after finishing the meal with Iris, I went around the mansion meeting the servants.

Seeing everyone looking busy, I asked if there was anything I could help with, but they all strongly refused, instead pressing snacks into my hands.

Well, it was the expected reaction, but seeing them smile again meant I achieved my goal, I think.

However, the man who first gave me cocoa was nowhere to be seen for some reason.

I asked someone in the kitchen and heard he injured his arm.

Thanks to that, he got leave and went back to his hometown for a bit, which was slightly disappointing.

‘To think he disappeared without a word when I thought we were getting closer.’

‘I’ll have to express this disappointment when he returns.’

For reference, I got cookies and cocoa from the kitchen.

After making the rounds of the mansion, Iris came to mind.

I asked around until I found a servant who knew Iris’s whereabouts and quickly found her.

In the dining hall, she had been silent with a strangely peculiar expression, but as I kept asking if there was anything I could help with, she gradually started returning to her usual self.

‘Honestly, if someone asked me that many times if I needed help, wouldn’t my face stiffen up too?’

Nevertheless, for some reason, I couldn’t stop bothering Iris.

‘I wanted to see that expressionless face tinged with confusion.’ I think.

‘Now that my mind is at ease, I’m having all sorts of strange thoughts.’

‘Saying I want to help, while inwardly wanting to see a troubled face.’

‘What kind of mindset is this?’

‘Well, even asking myself, I don’t really know.’

‘Maybe it’s curiosity about a face I’ve never seen?’

‘Just a day ago, I was thoroughly depressed, thinking I needed to bring her back or whatever, and now just changing my mindset brings these thoughts?’

Anyway, for now, isn’t it just a matter of sending Iris off to the Imperial Capital at the right time… that’s what I’m thinking.

Of course, if there’s anything I can do to help before that, I naturally will.

…Though the outcome is likely obvious.

Just then, I felt my face bump into something, stopping me in my tracks.

When I came to my senses, Iris’s back was right in front of me.

“Ah, sorry.”

“…Are you going to keep following me?”

“Can’t I?”

“It’s not that, but…”

Iris turned around, and our eyes met.

The face I thought was expressionless felt a little different up close.

After a moment’s hesitation, Iris spoke.

“Are you… alright now?”

Ah.

‘Is that… a worried expression…?’

‘Wouldn’t it be a change unnoticeable to anyone but me, who’s been looking at Iris’s face all day?’

‘Is it not that Iris has no change in expression, but that it’s just subtle?’

As I squinted, examining Iris’s face, I saw her eyes seemed to hold a slight hint of worry.

“Ah, yes. I’m fine now.”

“May I ask the reason?”

‘It’s still… difficult.’

‘I don’t know if the day will come when I can tell her.’

‘If I were to tell Iris, there would be so much to explain.’

…And there’s no way I could talk about the world ending soon.

The inside of my mouth, which had been sweet from the snacks, felt bitter.

‘What a truly selfish person I am,’ I thought once again.

“If it is difficult to speak of, I have no intention of prying and troubling you.”

“Yeah…”

As my voice trailed off, I saw Iris give a small nod.

As if truly intending not to ask further, Iris started walking towards where the servants were.

Before Iris reached the servants.

On a bit of an impulse.

Perhaps, wanting to lighten my heavy heart.

I inadvertently blurted it out to Iris.

“When the time comes… I’ll tell you.”

It felt like a somewhat vague, evasive answer.

Nevertheless, Iris’s steps halted.

“…I will be waiting.”

Leaving behind a reply that felt somehow solemn, Iris moved away again.

I stared blankly at her retreating figure for a moment, then turned and moved in the opposite direction from Iris.

I felt a bit pathetic for thinking I wanted to see her troubled face.

‘It’s probably best to just quietly read a book today.’

——————-

While deeply engrossed in the book I was reading last time, I sensed a presence approaching me.

Somehow, it felt like something I’d experienced before.

Assuming they would just pass by this time, I ignored it, but sure enough, a shadow began to fall over me.

Wondering what it could be this time, I glanced up from my book and saw the attendant.

Round glasses, neat brown hair tied back and let down, brown eyes looking at me.

I’d thought it passing by a few times, but she really had the face of someone who loved books.

‘So, what business does she have with me?’

We made eye contact for a while, but she suddenly bowed her head without saying anything.

‘Why is she doing this?’

“Is there something you want to say?”

The brown eyes behind the glasses began to tremble violently.

Just looking at her eyes, you’d believe an earthquake had struck.

After trembling for a good while, she seemed to make up her mind, swallowed hard, and held out a book to me.

…What is this?

“What is it?”

“Th-the… next volume…”

“The next volume? Ah, are you talking about the book I’m reading now?”

“Yes, yes!”

‘There’s no need for this. Making me feel sorry.’

“Thank you. I was just about finishing it.”

“N-not at all.”

Still, gratitude was gratitude, so I expressed my thanks and tried to focus back on the book, but the attendant remained standing in front of me, looking fidgety.

She looked like a student called to the teacher’s office, standing nervously outside the door.

To be more precise, she looked pitiful, like a student trembling because they don’t know why the teacher called them.

Seeing her face that clearly indicated she had something more to say, I finally put down the book and met her eyes.

“Is there something else?”

The funny thing was, when I actually met her eyes, she avoided mine.

“Um, excuse me… M-Miss, if I may be so bold…”

“Please speak comfortably.”

“I was hoping… you would wipe your hands after eating snacks before reading…”

“…”

“S-Sorry!!! Was that too presumptuous of me? Please don’t fire me!”

“No, it’s just—”

“But I couldn’t just stand by and watch the book get dirty… I’m sorry!”

‘She’s a strange person.’

‘Like, timid but speaks her mind! Like in some kind of soda commercial!’

“I wasn’t really planning to do that. Besides, I don’t even know if I have the authority…”

“R-really?”

“Probably?”

“I knew the rumors weren’t wrong! Here, first, wipe your hands with this…”

‘She really is serious about books,’ I thought. ‘Anyway, what rumors? I should ask Lena later.’

As I wiped my hands with the handkerchief she offered, the remaining snacks caught my eye.

‘They’ll just get dirty again anyway.’

As if reading my gaze, the attendant… what’s her name?

Anyway, she picked up the plate and smiled brightly.

“Sh-shall I feed the rest to you?”

“?”

“W-well, if your hands get dirty, you’ll have to wipe them again, which might be bothersome…”

“That’s true, isn’t it?”

“S-so, I shall feed you…”

It felt like she was overdoing it a bit, but it wasn’t bad for me, so I obediently opened my mouth.

As her hand holding the cookie reached my mouth, the sweet scent filled my nose.

Just as I was about to take a bite.

“Dinnertime—”

Iris’s voice came.