Chapter 27: A Promise of Swordsmanship

I feel like I’m going to throw up.

It’s equivalent to, or even worse than, the feeling I had in the mess hall when a high-ranking officer suddenly walked in with a booming laugh and placed his tray next to mine.

And amidst all this, the only sound of cutlery clinking was coming from me.

Chewing the food in my mouth, I glanced at the two.

Iris had her usual expression.

It was reassuring.

The princess…

She seemed to have been watching me. Our eyes kept meeting every time I glanced her way.

Anyone watching might mistake us for a couple having a sweet, awkward moment, but I wanted to shout, ‘Absolutely not!’

If that were the case, I wouldn’t feel like I was about to be sick.

She must either be watching me intently, or the sound of my cutlery is bothering her.

‘Or maybe both.’

Looking into her golden eyes, the same color as my own, I recalled the expression she had when leaving the training grounds.

‘What must it feel like for the princess, knowing the world is ending?’

‘She’s rather calm for someone who knows such a thing.’

‘Yesterday, when she was angry, she practically pounced on me.’

‘Considering what she said back then… could the princess be repeating this life?’

‘That would truly be a game-like story.’

‘If that’s really true, just how many lives has the princess repeated?’

‘The feeling of clinging to something while knowing it’s impossible must be overwhelming.’

‘It’s incomparable to my frustration at a bad game with only a bad ending, calling it trash.’

‘For the princess, this place is reality.’

‘If there had been a true ending, one where everyone could be happy, even if it meant walking a thorny path, I would have helped her reach it.’

‘But, even though not as much as her, I also desperately searched for such a path.’

‘But there wasn’t one.’

‘It seems like the princess couldn’t find a way either.’

‘If you’re asking if I looked at other people’s playthroughs.’

‘…It was a game with absolutely no reviews. As if everyone else, besides me, smelled the stench of a bad game.’

‘I should’ve sensed the danger back then.’

‘What was I thinking, playing such a game?’

‘I can’t quite remember.’

‘Eh, who needs a reason to play a game? You just play.’

‘Anyway, because of that… I can’t bring myself to say anything harsh to the princess.’

A sliver of camaraderie and the guilt of not knowing a solution.

‘If she is repeating her life, she must have gone through so much more than I can fathom.’

I understood the princess’s actions.

From her perspective, she probably doesn’t understand mine.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Clink!

I snapped back to reality. My fork was hovering uselessly in the air.

Lost in thought, I’d eaten everything without even tasting it.

As if to appease my disappointment, the attendant waiting behind me brought a new plate.

Giving a small nod, I picked up my fork again.

The princess’s exasperated voice broke through my thoughts.

“…Are you eating more?”

“It’s delicious.”

“That’s not the point…”

“…”

I knew.

But what was I supposed to do when I felt particularly hungry today?

Under the princess’s critical gaze, I finished the plate.

When dessert, which was usually omitted, arrived, the princess spoke, as if waiting for this moment.

Her current target wasn’t me.

“Duchess, were you aware?”

Iris paused, seemingly not expecting to be addressed.

“Aware of what?”

“Lady White’s swordsmanship is quite impressive.”

‘Why is she bringing that up now?’

“…I was aware.”

“Have you crossed swords with the young lady?”

“…No.”

“Is that so? The Duchess’s skills are quite renowned in the capital. Something about severing a monster’s head with a single blow?”

“My skills are still insignificant.”

“You’re too modest. However, I haven’t heard of Lady White. She’s skilled enough to make my knight shut herself in her room….”

The princess lifted her teacup, took a sip, then placed it down with a gentle smile.

Though her words were directed at Iris, her eyes were on me.

Iris, who seemed unaware of the spar, also turned her gaze towards me.

With the princess present, I had no choice but to give a small nod.

Iris also took a sip of tea, then replied to the princess.

“Perhaps it’s a lack of attention on my part.”

“Is that so?”

“I’m not well-versed in the affairs of the capital. The matters of the North alone keep me quite busy.”

“You must be working hard.”

“…It’s simply my duty.”

The princess shifted her gaze from me back to Iris.

“Duchess, I know this is sudden, but may I ask a question?”

I felt a surge of anxiety.

“Go ahead.”

“If you were to hear that the North would suddenly be destroyed, what would you do?”

While Iris, the one directly involved, looked back at the princess with an indifferent expression, I knew what my face must have looked like without needing a mirror.

To hide my obvious expression, I shoved a piece of dessert into my mouth.

Hoping to feign a happy expression, I pressed the sweetness onto my tongue, into my mind.

“That’s preposterous.”

The princess and Iris continued their conversation.

“It’s just a hypothetical. What would the Duchess do?”

At the princess’s persistent questioning, a puzzled expression crossed Iris’s face, and she touched her lips.

“I would first ascertain the truth of the matter. If it were deemed true…”

“If it were true?”

“I would cut down the cause. Whatever it may be.”

I continued to chew on the dessert.

“As expected, isn’t it?”

“I don’t understand the intent of your question, Your Highness.”

“It’s just that I’ve been having unsettling dreams lately… I was curious what the Duchess would do.”

“It seems you’ve had a nightmare.”

“Indeed… a truly terrible one.”

“I’ll have them bring you a tea that aids sleep.”

“Oh, there’s no need for that. Thank you for your concern.”

The princess turned to me with a smile.

“Lady White, you don’t seem to be fond of tea?”

I swallowed the mouthful of dessert.

My throat felt dry from only eating sweets.

“…No, I like it.”

To quench my thirst, I gulped down the tea.

Perhaps because I’d eaten too much dessert, the tea tasted unusually bitter today.

With that, the princess fell silent, seemingly content to enjoy her dessert.

The rest of the meal passed without further conversation.

With a satisfied expression, the princess smiled.

“Well… that was satisfying. Please convey my compliments to the chef.”

“I will.”

“Then, shall we excuse ourselves?”

Rising from her seat, the princess waved slightly as she passed through the door held open by a servant.

“Until next time, Duchess. And Lady White.”

“…Yes.”

After the princess left, Iris and I also left the dining hall.

——————————————————————————————————————————————

While crossing the hallway, I called out to Iris.

“Iris.”

“Yes?”

‘This is shameless, but could she grant me a favor?’

“Could you get me a sword?”

“A sword… you say?”

Iris paused, seeming to consider something.

Then, her voice, now serious, as though she’d come to a decision, reached my ears.

“Very well. But I have a request in return.”

‘This is the first time Iris has asked me for something, isn’t it?’

“What kind of…?”

“Could you… teach me swordsmanship?”

“…”

My face must have hardened involuntarily.

“I didn’t mean to trouble you. Please, forget I—”

‘…That’s not it.’

‘I’m not capable of anything.’

‘This isn’t something I can do.’

‘But… if you wish it…’

“I’ll teach you.”

‘I’m sorry.’

“Teaching might be difficult… but I can spar with you.”

“That alone is sufficient.”

‘Why that expression?’

The expression I’d seen in the library, and at the banquet hall.

‘…It’s a joyful face.’

“Why do you want to become stronger, Iris?”

“The reason I want to become stronger?”

“Yes.”

“I haven’t given it much thought. In a way, it was like breathing.”

“I see.”

“Perhaps I thought strength was necessary to become the successor.”

Pausing for a moment, Iris looked at me, our eyes meeting.

“Now… I have a goal.”

“A goal?”

“It’s embarrassing to say, but my current goal is to catch up to you, Lady Ev.”

‘That’s… not me.’

I felt a wave of nausea.

“I’m not someone worthy of being your goal, Iris.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is!”

I couldn’t hold it back any longer.

Seeing Iris’s slightly stiff expression, I realized what I’d done.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to yell… let’s spar when you get a sword. I’m sorry for yelling.”

“It’s alright. It was my fault—”

“You don’t need to apologize. It was my fault.”

I saw the staircase.

The point where Iris and I had to part ways.

I hurried my steps.

Placing my foot on the first step, I forced a smile.

“Goodnight, Iris.”

“May you have a peaceful night, Lady Ev.”

Bidding Iris farewell, I climbed the stairs, trying to appear unhurried despite my haste.

‘A sword, I need a sword. Definitely.’