Chapter 43: I Can’t Be a Stand-In

Almost a month had passed since I started living in the tunnel.

My story rarely appeared on the radio anymore.

Other villains caused terrorist attacks elsewhere.

Mostly stories about students being attacked or banks being robbed.

The massacre of the B-rank students must have been quite shocking.

They relentlessly broadcast my personal information and appearance for a whole month.

I needed to stay hidden for a while longer for safety, but living in this cramped space, eating nothing but canned food every day, was making me feel like I was disappearing, not going crazy.

Countless hallucinations were staring at me.

I needed to move, if only for the white powder.

I knew the perfect place for my hobby, where I could also get the powder.

That place I couldn’t enter because I was busy fighting with Lee So-hyun.

But I didn’t want to leave now.

It would be troublesome if I ran into Seo-jun, Hye-yeon, or that girl I spared.

Troublesome? They might throw themselves at me, begging for forgiveness and death.

Even now, I was spaced out in front of a hallucination that wasn’t even making any sound, apologizing profusely.

I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes anymore.

I felt like I couldn’t show my face. I didn’t know why.

I shouldn’t feel guilty. I can’t.

Feeling heartbroken, suffering, and struggling with guilt after doing something like that… it’s like…

Right. It’s like stuffing your face with pork cutlets and then crying about how sorry you are for the pig.

It’s more accurate to say I soaked my entire body in blood than just dirtied my hands with it. I killed so many.

Meaninglessly, just because I was in a bad mood.

Someone like that would definitely be called a villain.

I’d rather be looked down on and killed by Seo-jun than be treated like a crazy psychopath.

Lost in thought, I chain-smoked.

The smoke lingered in the air, unable to escape the tunnel.

I chuckled as a new hallucination appeared.

The Chairman, who couldn’t possibly be dead, stood before me, looking at me with pity.

He still had no feet, he was still white-haired, and he still wore an eyepatch.

It felt good to see something unchanging.

“It’s not a hallucination, kid.”

“……How did you know I was here?”

“A whole neighborhood full of villains suddenly disappeared, and we lost contact with the headquarters.
But not many people know where the headquarters is.”

He limped and slid down into the tunnel.

Then he started coughing, probably because of the dust.

“I’m more curious why you’re here.”

“It called to me. And……”

“You killed them all, right? They weren’t the type to attack first. Did they do something you didn’t like?”

“Why are you asking me that? Didn’t you say you were going to quit and live in hiding?”

“Well, things didn’t go as planned. Especially when the kid you picked up is all over the news.
It’s too dusty here. Let’s get out.”

The path in and out of the tunnel was steep, so he reached out to me.

I hesitated, unsure if I should take his hand.

In the awkward silence, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up.

Once again, it was a villain who pulled me out of the underground, as if mocking my indecision.

The bright sunlight blinded me momentarily as I crawled out of the tunnel.

I caught my breath under the crumbling roof of the shack, put on my mask, and stepped out into the street.

The windows of the lived-in five-story apartment buildings were all shattered, seemingly unoccupied. Yellow tape surrounded the villa that had further reddened the communists.

There was no smell.

That was enough.

There were no shabby people, no people in strange clothes.

The dirty streets were now quiet and clean.

Maybe I have a talent for cleaning.

I stood in the middle of the street, took out a cigarette, put it in my mouth, and lit it.

It felt completely different from smoking in the tunnel.

No suffocating feeling, no musty smell of decay rising from below, no dusty, stale odor.

Just the scent of the cigarette, the tightness in my throat, and the warm sunlight.

“This wasn’t this kind of neighborhood.”

The man, limping behind me, leaned against a wall and lit a hand-rolled cigarette that looked quite strong.

Judging by the pungent smell, it might have been marijuana, not tobacco.

“There are no ordinary people, no kids, no homeless people loitering around. Did you kill them all?”

“Are you reprimanding me?I’m grateful you picked me up, but that’s a bit harsh.”

“…That’s not the point. You’re attracting attention.”

“But they were all the same kind of people.”

The man didn’t seem to understand what I meant, but he didn’t seem to care either.

“You didn’t kill me on sight, so you don’t seem crazy. But you’re not normal either.You lived peacefully in the hideout, so you can handle group living, and I confirmed you weren’t brainwashed in the research facility.
So, what was the problem?”

The middle-aged man’s face, exhaling the pungent smell of marijuana, looked slightly haggard.

Perhaps because he was in the sunlight, he could see things he normally couldn’t.

“Were you that heartbroken over Si-hyun’s death?”

“Wouldn’t I be?”

“I was. Honestly, I was even more shocked because she was like a daughter to me, a replacement for the daughter I lost.Oh, she knew. So, it wasn’t like I was deceiving her.”

“I can’t be a replacement.”

“Si-hyun said the same thing.That’s something I have to figure out on my own.”

Come to think of it, unlike Si-hyun “unni,” this man didn’t care if I used drugs or anything.

I just figured out why.

The man took a small syringe from his pocket, stuck the needle into his clouded eye under the eyepatch, and injected the drug.

He shuddered slightly and then put his eyepatch back on. It was a strange sight.

“Decades ago, there were many people who tried to live like human beings.”

“But look at us now.”

“Back then, everyone was careful with their actions because one button could destroy the world.Then one day, they realized this insignificant ability could block anything that came flying at them. Everyone went wild, unable to control their newfound power.”

The man reached out towards the empty air, reminiscing. Then he seemed to remember something, rummaged through his pocket, and tossed me a syringe.

I was desperate.

Countless people surrounded me, blocking my view.

“But they didn’t think of the simple solution of bringing it here and detonating it.They didn’t think that there would be an ability user who could transport that huge bomb unnoticed.Thanks to that, Seoul burned six times.
The buildings and some people remained the same thanks to the sacrifices of several ability users.Back then, I thought a leg was worth sacrificing to save people.”

The pungent smell of marijuana smoke, an unpleasant sigh, an unfocused gaze.

This man was just someone who provided me with shelter. He didn’t know anything and didn’t try to.

And now he was suddenly opening up to me.

“That’s how this country protected everything below the river.While all other countries crumbled, becoming nothing but ashes.”

It was quite bewildering.

For me, the listener.

“But I thought everything had to disappear.We should have created new rules and a new society from the ashes.
There’s no point in trying to preserve what already exists. A warped tree can’t grow straight unless you carve it down and make it into plywood.”

“That’s because you’ve never lived above the river, where there’s nothing.”

The man chuckled at my words.

“Even if you think that, there’s something there.You can always come down below the river, get supplies, and enjoy civilization.If you awaken your ability, you can even live in a big city.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“You spout nonsense when you’re high too, Ha-rin.Si-hyun complained about it. She said you should at least try to quit.But we both know we can’t.”

I suddenly thought that maybe he had no one left to talk to.

The middle-aged man often called Si-hyun “unni” to chat, made tea, and then called us over for snacks. He seemed to enjoy it.

“You must have killed them because you wanted something, and I ran away but crawled back out into the world because I wanted something.Let’s just help each other out.I’ve prepared a new hideout. I need to gather weapons and people, like before.”

“……Why are you telling me this? I don’t even know why you’re keeping me here.”

The man pointed at the villa.

“Think about what you did.You’re a very suitable person for what I’m trying to do.Even if you’re uncontrollable and our goals are different.”

The boy I met on this street earlier stared at me, the drugs seemingly wearing off.

With an expressionless face.

But it felt like an accusation.

I could only see him.

Even though so many children must have died.

“I won’t give you meaningless orders like before.Just live as you please. Though I don’t know who you’re doing this for.”

“You knew I was here all along, didn’t you?”

The man grinned.

With the same smile as Si-hyun “unni.”

“Where else would a rat like you hide after escaping school?A kid who escaped just like you hid here too.”

Then his face returned to its usual expressionless state.

“Though I didn’t expect you to kill everyone who lived there.”