Chapter 56: The Childhood Friend Left Alone in That Tiny Village…

What I wanted wasn’t a tearful farewell.

I wanted the kind of scene where someone appears with a bam! and defeats the evil villain while everyone is suffering.

So, I can’t die here.

I hugged Seo-jun and kissed her for a long time.

Scratching her back with my clasped arms, rubbing our foreheads together, we stayed close.

We’ve talked enough now.

Even though there was no need to.

We knew enough about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and stories.

Even though there was no need to know, really.

Glancing around the room, I saw the black television lying on its side.

Since I was on top of her, she’d have to throw me off to pick it up.

“Will you look at me?”

Saying that, I cupped Seo-jun’s face, making her meet my gaze.

“This is what I look like. Dried-up red eyes, white but brittle hair.Remember only this. Remember me every time you see something similar, and think of me first when you meet someone else.”

I slowly made a fist and pulled away slightly.

“That’s enough.”

Soon after, my hand exploded. With the shock, I was pushed back, crashing through the window and falling from the high apartment.

In the hospital, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to endure it unless I forced a smile, but now it doesn’t feel forced.

Because I was sure it was finally over.

After splattering on the ground from the high building, I slowly began to regenerate. The people surrounding me murmured, then screamed and ran away.

I just had to kill as many as possible, deal with as many as possible, draw as much attention as possible, and meet Seo-jun while countless people were watching me.

I opened my eyes in the lab and thought about how I’d lived until now.

I couldn’t recall a single good memory… no, there were two or three.

It’s depressing that I can even count them.

And the past feels unpleasant because it’s the past.

I did my best. I prepared the most perfect farewell.

Yes, I can’t forget the past and Seo-jun can’t abandon common sense, rules, love, pride, and the future.

So no matter what we talked about, it was meaningless.

Except for a brief moment of sentimentality, a very brief moment.

Yes, it’s okay to postpone things for that much.

Anyway, there was a time when I was really afraid of being hated by everyone.

Everyone would laugh if I, who created a bloodbath, sliced through countless people, and rode a horse made of flesh, said such a thing.

I was afraid of being hurt, and I was even more afraid of hurting others.

That’s why I lived like a ghost in that village.

Now that I don’t need anything, I know it was all meaningless.

Everything I liked and loved eventually broke.

I love that blue sky so much, I wonder if it will collapse one day.

My parents, my dog, my house, the village, and even my childhood friend.

So that it would be easy for someone to block my path, I steadily ran forward along the main road.

Along with countless flesh puppets and a sea of blood overflowing along the road.

Soon, a bridge came into view, and I saw countless people blocking the way.

I had to be stopped here, but also kill every single person I saw.

So that I wouldn’t hesitate.

Sometimes, I rambled and lied, burying everything I thought and felt, trying to gloss things over, but if I lived like that, I would eventually cease to be me.

Even if I die without leaving a trace, I want to die as myself.

I’m not talking about appearances.

I just don’t want to deceive myself, and I don’t want to lie to the person who said they loved me, and who I said I loved.

I should have hidden and lied to some extent, like everyone else.

Because that’s how everyone lives.

I must have ended up like this because I revealed too much of myself.

About three minutes passed.

Around the time the people blocking me were halved, I felt an intensely hot sensation from behind.

Seeing my body fall limply, I must have been split in half.

I saw the sky, the clouds, and soon after, Seo-jun, clenching her teeth and crying, holding a sword.

You shouldn’t cry if you’re clenching your teeth.

I wish you would always smile happily when you leave.

You were smiling happily when you left me alone in the village.

So, shouldn’t you smile the same way when you send me off?

Actually, I didn’t hate Seo-jun for leaving me alone.

That’s probably why I’m doing this now.

Even though I didn’t want to do this.

I wanted to walk hand-in-hand under the flowering trees like others, chat about nothing, laugh meaninglessly, and sometimes sing together.

There are so many things I want to do.

Oh, actually. To be honest.

I don’t want to die like this.

Me too, me too, like others. I want to live happily like other people.

Even if I’m not happy, just being able to breathe next to the person I love would be enough.

Even the most horrible people in the world smile with their loved ones, have children, raise them, and live together until they die of old age. Why me!

As my body turned to ash, I opened my mouth.

Dying like this is…

“Hate…”

No.

I shouldn’t say it.

Because I can’t be forgotten.

It’s enough that my last words were asking to be remembered.

“Li…ke…”

I tried to say I liked you, but my body, slowly turning to ash, crumbled, and even my mouth must have turned to ash.

I tried to reach out, but I didn’t even have hands.

There’s no coming back.

This is what I wanted.

My eyes must not have disappeared because our gazes met.

I really don’t want to die like this.

But what can I do?

I already decided, I already did it.

There’s no turning back.

So, I’ll think this is enough.

I did my best.

I did my best, too.

So this is enough.

The childhood friend left alone in the village should be grateful for even this much.

Ah.

After cutting down Ha-rin, I deliberately turned her completely to ash, leaving no trace.

Into dust, scattering so that no one could take her.

Her body, split in half, slowly turned to ash, and our eyes met.

With a pitiful face, she tried to say something, then smiled as if nothing had happened. Good, yeah.

I wonder what she was trying to say.

Rather than “I like you,” “it might have been “

To say that at the end, she shouldn’t have talked to me.

The living sea of blood began to flow down the river, and the chunks of flesh all decomposed and fell to the ground with a thud.

Should I be sad?

I don’t know.

After I killed Ha-rin, the people blocking the bridge all came up to me, thanking me and praising me like I was some great person.

I, who couldn’t even save one girl from the slums tucked away in a corner, am the hero who saved this city.

Everyone praises me as a hero who defeated a terrible villain after I killed the girl who said she loved me, who said she wanted to marry me and live happily ever after.

I never wanted this.

I thought I did my best in my own way.

Everyone joyfully celebrates victory and mourns the dead.

Those people did nothing.

I killed the villains who disrupted the city and attacked the school.

Me, not the people rejoicing over there.

Rather than wanting to be thanked, I just… I wish everyone would just shut up.

I was the one who killed Ha-rin, so why are they happy?

Why are they praising me?

It feels like everyone except me is playing some strange role-playing game, and I feel alienated from the world.

But you know.

In the end, I chose those strange people smiling in front of me, not Ha-rin.

I left my childhood friend in the village.

And I thought I did something in the meantime.

What did I do?

How would that girl, left alone, have felt when she came to find me?

What was she thinking, waiting and finally coming all this way?

Were the people in front of me, and my school life, more important to me than Ha-rin?

I asked myself the question, but I couldn’t find the answer.

Who was more important, who I liked more—I’ll never know now that one of them is gone.

I felt like I wouldn’t be able to find the answer and run towards it, like Ha-rin did.

Now, whatever I do will feel wrong.

“Ha.”

Not wanting to be with the empty-headed people in front of me, I pushed away the person trying to put their arm around me and started walking aimlessly.

At least I didn’t want to be here.

That village where we lived, this city, and even the school felt like places that shouldn’t exist, so I just walked.