Chapter 15: Sayoreinne’s Story

Sayoreinne’s Story

I was born into the prestigious Meirel Marquis family. I was born into affluence and beauty, a privileged life.

I have two older half-brothers and a younger half-sister.

My mother, the daughter of Count Takaya, was my father’s first wife.

The other three were the children of his second wife, the daughter of Count Siika.

Let me start with the events before my birth, stories I heard from my mother and her personal maid, Ahrin.

My father, that man, took a second wife after my mother failed to produce an heir for three years. Apparently, he had declared, “I will love only you forever,” when he married her.

Well, it wasn’t entirely unreasonable. An heir was essential for a noble family.

My mother hadn’t believed his words, but she cherished hearing them from the man she loved.

…It’s what happened after that I can’t forgive.

The second wife gave birth to a son within a year. My mother remained childless, and from then on, she began to lose her standing within the Marquisate.

Three years later, the second wife bore another son. My father… Marquis Meirel, stopped visiting my mother altogether.

The Marquisate staff whispered behind my mother’s back, speculating about her supposed infertility.

Three more years passed.

One day, Marquis Meirel, drunk, visited my mother, who had been living quietly in seclusion. They slept together.

And thus, I was conceived.

Ironic, isn’t it? They tried for years to have a child, but it happened by chance, when he was drunk.

My mother was filled with hope, believing that a child would bring back my father’s affections. The second wife and her faction reportedly intensified their harassment.

Then, in November of that year, I was born.

Marquis Meirel took one look at me and left. Heh… was it because I was a girl? Or had he already moved on, regardless of my gender? Perhaps it was due to the declining status of the Takaya family, my mother’s lineage, and the rising influence of the Siika family, the second wife’s lineage.

Only the Marquis knew the reason… but my mother was devastated by his indifference.

She realized, He no longer cares for me…

…She wept, apologizing to her newborn daughter, me.

She wept with me on the day I should have been celebrated.

Three months later, the second wife gave birth to a daughter. The Marquis reportedly beamed, holding her in his arms.

My mother didn’t cry.

My mother was strong. She could have blamed me for not being a son, but she didn’t. She endured the disdain, neglect, and harassment within the Marquisate, cherishing and loving me unconditionally.

Perhaps because of this, I matured early. My mother said I could act like a child, play and be carefree, but I didn’t want to give them any reason to criticize her.

So I studied diligently, mastered noble etiquette and graceful conduct, and behaved impeccably.

Looking back, I wonder if my actions made my mother feel guilty and hurt. I should have smiled more, acted spoiled, and spent more time with her. But it was too late now.

My siblings… they tormented me.

My eldest brother was much older and rarely interacted with me, so I have little to say about him. His cold, sharp, and indifferent gaze frightened me as a child, but that was all. Still, directing such a look at a little girl seven years younger was despicable.

My second brother. Trash. Filth. I don’t even want to think about him.

My first memory of him was when I was three or four. I was sitting in the small garden outside our quarters. I saw him approaching with a smile.

I reluctantly stood up to greet him. That’s when he placed a large insect on my face.

The slimy feel of its legs… the creepy texture of its hairy body… its repulsive appearance…

I froze. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it, and I was afraid it would move if I did, so I just stood there, pale and trembling.

“Ah… uh… uh…”

I could barely breathe. My breathing became erratic, desperate. My brother just stood there, snickering.

What would have happened if Ahrin hadn’t passed by? It could have been disastrous.

Seeing me, she rushed over and flicked the insect off my face.

“Tch—boring.”

The disappointed boy shoved me, and I fell on my bottom, still in shock.

Ahrin came over and held me close, her embrace warm and comforting.

A single tear rolled down my cheek.

I sobbed in her arms, uncontrollably.

Ahrin told me I cried for a long time before falling asleep, exhausted.

From then on, my second brother tormented me relentlessly.

He would jump out and scare me, force me to eat strange things that made me sick, cut my clothes with scissors, and hit me on my arms, legs, and stomach.

While it could be dismissed as childish pranks, they were terrifying to me, much younger than him. As I grew older, his ‘pranks’ became more cruel.

I didn’t tell my mother, but she always knew, somehow sensing it from my expression. She would cry and apologize to me.

I started managing my expressions. Let’s smile. Smile. I forced the corners of my lips upwards.

The girl in the mirror smiled emptily.

My second brother continued his ‘pranks’ countless times until he was twelve and I was nine.

I learned that he found it boring when I ‘smiled.’

So I ‘smiled’ and spoke politely, but in a way that irritated and annoyed him.

Seeing his frustrated expression as he muttered, “Annoying b*tch. Boring,” and walked away actually made me feel better.

His ‘pranks’ gradually decreased until they stopped altogether. Heh heh heh.

Yes. I had won. Heh heh heh.

My younger sister. Compared to my second brother, she was harmless.

She would boast about her pretty clothes, accessories, her beautifully styled hair, her sweet treats and tea—boasting, boasting, boasting—

Boasting about being loved.

It was almost endearing.

Of course, having been tormented by my second brother, I was both envious and resentful.

I wanted to be loved. Heh heh heh.

While I didn’t say anything, my envy must have been obvious in my expressions and behavior. She seemed to take pleasure in it.

I hated her smug, condescending look. Heh heh heh.

So I pretended to admire her, using backhanded compliments to belittle her.

“Oh, what a beautiful dress.”
“It definitely suits you more than me. It really complements your… features. If I wore it, the dress’s beauty would be overshadowed by my plain appearance. Such a shame.”

“…? You’re right. Such a luxurious dress wouldn’t suit someone like you.”

Seriously—I was practically saying I was much prettier than her, and she didn’t even realize it? Her tearful outburst the next day was hilarious. She clearly had a complex about her looks compared to mine.

She continued to try and show off… she was such a fool.

She would try to retort to my subtle insults, but her lack of confidence and her inferiority complex made her stutter and hesitate, her words lacking conviction…

Soon, she stopped visiting me as well.

While only two of them actively bullied me… even as a child, I knew.

The maids and servants were watching us, my mother and me.

In this vast Marquisate, no, in this entire world, I only had my mother and Ahrin.

Everyone else was an enemy.

When I was twelve, Ahrin, showing signs of her age, struggled with her maid duties.

My mother sent her back to her hometown in the Takaya territory. Ahrin insisted on staying with us, but my mother forced her to leave, saying she was too frail and that we would be fine.

Ahrin left for home, in tears.

My mother, having spent half her life with Ahrin, grew thinner and lonelier after her departure.

I clung to her, and we relied on each other.

We relied only on each other.

When I was thirteen…

I dozed off while reading in the library.

A sudden, unpleasant sensation, like a snake crawling on me, woke me up.

I opened my eyes.

I saw my second brother. Bloodshot eyes, flushed face, ragged breathing. He wasn’t himself.

His filthy hands groped my chest and thighs.

I tried to scream, but he was too quick, clamping his hand over my mouth.

I bit down hard.

“Ugh!” He groaned in pain, his face contorted, and raised his other hand.

Slap!

My cheek burned. I tasted blood. I was disoriented, but I continued to struggle, twisting and turning.

He slammed me against the table. My back screamed in pain. Tears welled up. From the pain, of course.

The table toppled over, the vase on top crashing to the floor with a loud noise.

Snapping out of it, he looked around frantically and hurried out of the library. Despite being neglected, we were still family, related by blood. Being caught forcing himself on his half-sister? Especially him, the second son with a reputation for womanizing, it would be a scandal he couldn’t afford.

I gritted my teeth, straightened my clothes, and stood up, wiping away my tears.

I left the library without a word. They could clean up their own mess.

I didn’t cry when I returned to my room.

My tears were too precious to waste on him.

Heh.
Heh heh.
Heh heh heh.

I laughed.

At fourteen, my mother’s only sibling, Count Takaya, collapsed.

He had pushed himself too hard, trying to save his family… it was overwork.

My mother collapsed upon hearing the news. She had been growing weaker and weaker…

…I couldn’t laugh. I couldn’t bring myself to laugh.

At fifteen, I underwent the mana aptitude test.

Coincidentally, my eldest brother also underwent the test. Late awakenings were common. The timing was merely a coincidence… a coincidence.

The Marquisate decided that I would attend the ‘academy’ and eventually go to the ‘front lines.’

Two years away… and I had to leave my ailing mother behind?

Oh God…

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

I smiled and talked to my bedridden mother.

I could smile in front of her. Heh heh heh.

At seventeen…

The day arrived. I had to leave my mother.

She looked so frail and weak… I didn’t want to leave. My mother, all alone, with no one to rely on.

The thought alone brought tears to my eyes.

My mother wiped my tears and handed me a box.

Inside was a slightly worn fan, showing signs of use.

My mother’s fan. She told me to keep it close, to think of her when I was lonely. She encouraged me, told me to take care of myself.

…I wouldn’t cry.

I took off my bracelet, my only piece of jewelry, and fastened it around my mother’s wrist.

“Think of this bracelet as your daughter. Three months will fly by. I’ll be back soon. So…”

“I love you, Mom.”

When I returned after the first semester, my mother was gone.

She had passed away peacefully in her sleep, clutching the bracelet in her right hand.

I laughed. Heh heh heh.

I tried to laugh. Heh heh heh.

I tasted salt. Heh heh heh.

I was ‘alone.’ Heh heh heh.

Mother.

Mom.

I miss you.

Two weeks later, after behaving like a wreck, a madwoman, I collapsed.

I felt a touch. Warm.

I opened my eyes.

I saw Ahrin, the maid.

For some reason, I smiled. A genuine smile.

Heh heh heh.

“Thank you, Ahrin. Did you sleep well?”

The girl who cared for me. My only ally.

“Yes. Good morning, Miss.”

Ahrin smiled brightly.

I’m sorry, Ahrin. For taking my anger out on you, for mistreating you. It wasn’t your fault.

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I want to be loved.

This seems to be my ‘true nature.’

So… let’s be together.