Chapter 8: The Star of the Magpie (8)

Crash. Only after falling along with the chair did I realize: I’m still not used to this body at all. My height has decreased by 20cm, and my body feels completely reconstructed. It’s a no-brainer. How much has to change for an average guy like me to become a beautiful girl?

Naturally, even after going through that level of change, my body wouldn’t function normally. I even lost a ranked game despite picking my trump card, Master Yi. My original body had the kind of physical prowess that could effortlessly crush opponents using scripts, while happily thinking, “Good practice.” That’s the level of Korean Gold.

“Oppa, are you okay?!”

My sister rushed into my room. It was a pretty loud fall, so she must have heard it.

“Ugh… I just tripped. It’s fine, get out. Get out. I said get out.”

Ignoring my protests, my sister offered me her hand. I took it, stood up, and rubbed my sore bottom. At the same time, Mimorin on the monitor screen mimed shooting an arrow at me. It was Umi-chan’s signature move, familiar to anyone who has seen the Love Live anime.

– “Love Arrow~!”

Don’t do it, Mimorin… Suz-chan, no!

– “Shoot~!”

“Ugh…”

“Oppa! Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”

My sister, startled, caught me as I clutched my chest and almost collapsed. Ugh, it seems like my sister is genuinely angry now. I’m sorry. Your older brother has always been like this. I can’t just ignore Mimorin’s Love Arrow Shoot. Love Live is life. Just as the essence of a tangerine is a tangerine, and the essence of a tree frog is a frog, when two words are combined, the latter word holds the essence. Therefore, the essence of Love Live is life. QED. Thus, I exist.

After that, my sister lectured me for 30 minutes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Just be careful. I don’t want to interfere, but I don’t want you to end up back in the hospital.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Sigh. It’s natural for her to react this way. Even though we’re indifferent to each other, I’d be worried if something happened to my sister. If it were serious, I would help her. Despite our usual cold war, we’re family. It can’t be helped. She can’t completely ignore her older brother who suddenly became a girl, so she’s trying to be considerate in her own way.

“A woman’s body is fragile… If you need anything, ask me. I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Dad wants to talk to you later. Don’t go straight to your room after dinner, wait for him.”

I gave a perfunctory nod and took a bite of my food. …It tasted unnecessarily delicious. It must be because my taste buds have regenerated. Definitely. Sigh.

As I was lounging on the living room sofa, watching TV, I was reminded of the past. When we were very young, my sister and I would wait for our father in the living room, eventually falling asleep from exhaustion.

A common story, likely found in any Korean household. Our TV is pretty big. It has a screen mirroring function, so I can even watch adult videos on it. More importantly, I can watch “Yuru Yuri,” “Is the Order a Rabbit?” and “Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya” on the big screen.

When my family is home, I rarely come out to the living room, but when I’m alone, I enjoy wholesome hobbies like gaming and watching anime in the living room. It’s sad that my range of activity expands the fewer people there are around…

Click. The door opened, interrupting my pointless thoughts. My father emerged from his study.

My eyes met my father’s. I greeted him as casually as possible. “You’re here.”

“Ah… yes, yes. Jinhyuk. Did you have a good time outside?”

“Yes.”

I hate my father. I don’t want to talk to him if I can avoid it. Just seeing his face irritates me, so I’m trying my best to respond without showing any emotion.

I love my house, but I plan to move out after graduation. I don’t have a concrete plan, but if all else fails, I can live off the TS Disorder support funds. It would be a waste not to take the money since it’s being offered. I’ll be living alone anyway, so even a small amount of money should be enough if I’m frugal. I don’t plan on living long.

Instant ramen is enough for meals. Ramen with rice is a cheap and easy way to eat. If I get tired of it, I can order takeout occasionally. Other than that, the only expenses are basic living costs and merchandise. I’m not greedy.

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

My sister, finished with the dishes, broke the awkward silence.

“Do you have any requests, Jinhyuk? I talked with Jihyo, and we’ve decided to respect your wishes as much as possible. We can even consider moving if you find it too difficult. You can take a year off from school if you’re struggling to adapt to your body.”
“I don’t need anything. I just want to keep going to school like before. I’ll graduate quickly and move out.”

My sister and father’s gazes fell on my face. I turned my head slightly towards the window, pretending to look outside. A moment that felt like an eternity passed. I steeled my resolve and met their gazes.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to cling to the past. The path to a new beginning is always open. To put it jokingly, the world is rather kind to pretty girls.”

“I’m fine. I like this house. I don’t dislike this city either. Buying new figures is enough for me.”

I remembered my favorite episode of “Knight Run,” which was my favorite webtoon until a few years ago. The scene where Clint Zile discusses his outlook on life with Sion Zile. Clint said that life is a continuous struggle, and living means constantly fighting against what you face. He’s a cool character, and it’s a good line, but I don’t entirely agree.

I can’t deny the weakness of those who run away. I’m also too weak… to face anyone. Facing the world is impossible. I’m a pacifist, so, cowardly, I just run in the opposite direction, constantly moving away from the center of the world.

What defines me is only my mind, my ego… I know better than anyone that that’s not true. But there are things people can control. If I can survive by compromising and running away… Ha Jinhyuk is no longer here. Instead, what’s here are remnants of my past self, fragments… small, pathetic pieces.

If I even change my legal identity, what am I? Even as a basement dweller, I didn’t deny myself. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant life, but I’m at least satisfied that I discovered μ’s. Even so, ‘I’ decided to abandon Ha Jinhyuk for my own well-being.

I’m sorry, past me.

At least I’ve decided to live for tomorrow.

“…Alright, if that’s what you want.”

My father closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, as he always did when he was thinking. I guess if I’m going to change my identity, it would be better to start somewhere completely new. But I don’t want to leave the house where my mother lived, and I don’t want the hassle of adapting to a new environment. I’m the type of person who hoards all sorts of junk, just in case it might be useful someday. No… I just don’t want to burden my father. I’d prefer if we lived as strangers, without affecting each other.

“Since oppa is a hikikomori and has no friends, no one will find out you used to be a guy.”

This btch… It’s true, but I wish she would refrain from attacking me with facts. My heart is delicate and fragile. Stop using facts! Let’s fight with fabrications and propaganda! You btch.

“Ahem, I hope you’ll make some friends and go outside more from now on. It will be difficult, but I hope you can do it. Our family supports you.”

“…I’ll manage. Yes.”

I was annoyed, but I didn’t have the energy to get angry, and I didn’t want to. Kindness is unpleasant because it makes me weak. Because I become vulnerable. They say you can’t spit in a smiling face. Responding to kindness with malice makes me feel like I’m losing. That’s why I hate it even more.

Besides, being told, “Don’t you have any friends?” is like a casual greeting on DC Inside, but it’s incredibly unpleasant coming from a normal person. But I’m a pacifist. I don’t get angry just because I’m angry.

“Yeah, oppa, I’ll help you as much as I can, too.”

What is this… Why are they cheering me on? I’m fine. So stop acting like we’re a good family. It’s annoying.

“I’m going to my room. I’d like to go back to school in a few days. I want to graduate normally.”

“Alright, it’s getting late, so you should get ready for bed. Those people are coming to visit the day after tomorrow, so don’t stay up too late and mess up your sleep schedule.”

“Yes.”

I needed to use the bathroom, so I went in. I heard my father talking to my sister outside.

“Your mother was very beautiful too… She looks just like her.” It was obvious who he was talking about.

If I look like my mother, then isn’t he a pedophile?

My mother was actually five years younger than my father. She looked even younger. So, when they got married, my father’s friends teased him relentlessly, calling him a cradle robber. My mother’s picture in the album did resemble me vaguely, but she had a kinder, more mature look. That’s why I didn’t immediately think of her when I looked in the mirror. She passed away when I was very young, so I don’t remember her well, but… I don’t have any bad memories.

Huh?

Wait.

Oh, f*ck… I felt warmth between my legs. Lost in thought, I had unconsciously peed like I usually did.

Seriously, fck, fck this world.

I returned to my room without any panties. I’d stashed the wet ones in the corner of the bathroom where they wouldn’t be seen. Fortunately, my pants weren’t wet. Sigh. I took out a pair of underwear that my sister had brought to my room and put them on. Open-front? Light blue! Chuckle.

Now what should I do? Even as I muttered that, my hands naturally opened DC Inside, bookmarked in Chrome. Since I’ve become a pretty girl, should I try some of the things I wanted to do if I ever became TS’d? Before that, let’s ask the gallery for some inspiration.

___

Nickname: YunaRin

Title: Hey, if you were TS’d into a pretty girl,

what would you do right now?

And attached a profile picture. Cute Umi-chan. Sometimes I change it to other μ’s members or Aqours.

Content: Excluding lewd stuff.

___

…I got way too many replies. It’s the kind of question that gets posted dozens of times a day, but these guys, top-class in TS fantasies, never tired of replying. Ugh, the smell of otaku body odor is wafting all the way over here. I’m a radiant beautiful girl, so I’m on a different level from them. Creepy otaku. These are the kind of guys who go to Comiket and generate personal cumulonimbus clouds with their body heat.

The replies suggested browsing the gallery, posting proof, becoming a queen bee, trying on cute clothes, imitating anime character voices, singing anime songs, using internet slang, trying twintails… It’s disgustingly diverse.