Chapter 11: A Magical Girl’s Duty

It had started as a psychological evaluation. Si-yool was sure of it. But the questions had become increasingly bizarre.

Favorite food?
Hobbies?
Drinking buddies?

Those were… acceptable. The problem started after.

Did he have a secret girlfriend? A partner? When did he want to get married? How many children did he want?

“Hold on,” Si-yool interrupted, feeling both bewildered and annoyed. He’d barely survived ten years in another world. He didn’t have any of these things. And these questions were getting increasingly intrusive.

“What’s wrong, Mr. Kim? I have a few more questions,” the purple-haired magical girl, Seo-bin, said.

“Why are you asking me this? This is… inappropriate,” Si-yool said, his tone sharper than intended.

“Oh, I apologize. I shouldn’t have pryed,” Seo-bin said sincerely.

Si-yool was surprised. He’d openly expressed his displeasure, and she’d apologized. He wasn’t used to this.

“It’s… fine,” he mumbled.

“Thank you,” Seo-bin replied.

Si-yool’s annoyance faded. It was the first genuine apology he’d received in a long time. He couldn’t very well stay angry after that.

“Just one last question, then,” Seo-bin said.

Si-yool was relieved. He was getting tired.

“When you first entered this room, which of the magical girls elicited the strongest… reaction from you?” she asked.

By “reaction,” she clearly meant a physical one. The other magical girls looked at Seo-bin with disgust, but she remained unfazed.

“There was one, right?” she asked.

Of course there was.

Before Si-yool could answer, Seo-bin spoke again. “Actually, there’s no need to ask. We have Magical CCTV.”

She waved her hand, and a translucent screen appeared before her, like a status window from a fantasy novel.

“Let me check,” she said.

Si-yool was skeptical. It was just CCTV, even if it was “magical.” How could it possibly determine which magical girl he found attractive? It wouldn’t even know what he was looking at. Even magic had limits.

“…Slippers?” Seo-bin said, her voice laced with confusion.

It knew.

Apparently, magic had no limits.

“Slippers? Really?” Seo-bin repeated, as if she couldn’t believe it. Si-yool had been about to say “feet.”

Seo-bin’s eyes widened. “You… you were aroused by slippers?”

Some of the other magical girls couldn’t contain their reactions.

“He was aroused by slippers?!”

“You shameless bastard!”

Seo-bin silenced them, but she was still clearly bewildered. “You were really aroused by slippers?”

“Busted,” Si-yool muttered. “But hear me out.”

He had a perfectly valid explanation. He hadn’t had any romantic or sexual contact with a woman in over ten years. He’d been surrounded by people trying to kill him. His libido was bound to be a little… skewed.

“I’ve been without a woman for thirty-three years. It’s understandable,” he explained.

He didn’t mention that, as a major shareholder of Novelpia, he’d been exposed to all sorts of… unconventional fetishes. Animals, swords and scabbards, even knotholes. Compared to that, slippers were practically vanilla.

“But why women’s slippers?” Seo-bin asked.

“Why not?” Si-yool countered.

They were feminine, they had openings, and they were inanimate.

“Damn it,” Seo-bin muttered, clutching her head.

In a world of one-eyed people, the two-eyed man is king. Or in this case, a freak. Si-yool sighed. He was the sane one here. He had to be understanding.

It was time to seal the deal. Exemption was within his grasp. He just had to push a little harder.

“If I become a magical girl, I’ll just sleep with all of them,” he declared, laying it on thick. “You really want me around them? I’m fine with it. I can do whatever I want then.” This was his last chance.

“I have nothing to lose, but they do, right?”

He didn’t mean it, of course. He was just exaggerating. He could appreciate furry art, but he wasn’t attracted to furries. Same with magical girls.

He could appreciate them, but he wasn’t attracted to them. He wasn’t going to get involved with these lunatics.

Unless…

Unless he was a crazy, indiscriminate pervert.

But he wasn’t. He was a normal, sane human being. And normal, sane human beings should be with other normal, sane human beings.

In short: he would never sleep with a magical girl.

The magical girls stared at him in silence. White Phoenix was still catatonic. The others glared at him with open disgust. Some looked appalled, some gritted their teeth, some muttered curses.

Seo-bin, however, remained relatively calm, her expression thoughtful. She probably hadn’t expected him to say such a thing with a straight face.

Good. Exemption was close.

“So, to summarize,” Seo-bin said, drawing everyone’s attention. She cleared her throat and continued, “You’re attracted to older magical girls, magical girls with small chests, and even inanimate feminine objects, to the point of being aroused by slippers.”

The other magical girls’ faces contorted in disgust. Their opinions of him were plummeting in real-time. He was disgusting, a pervert.

But Si-yool didn’t care. He’d sacrifice his reputation for an exemption.

“Should I continue?” he offered.

“No, that’s enough,” Seo-bin replied with a sad, apologetic smile.

Perfect. This was it.

Exemption. Or at least, public service.

This was his chance at a normal life.

“Congratulations. Welcome to the Magical Girl Corps,” Seo-bin declared.

“What?!” Si-yool exclaimed. “No! My life!”

“Why?” he asked, bewildered.

“Because you’re a perfect fit?” Seo-bin replied, tilting her head.

“What the f*ck?! How?!”

This wasn’t happening. He couldn’t let this happen. He had to say something, something even more outrageous.

“Retract that statement, you b*tch—!”

But before he could finish, White Phoenix’s mascot, having recovered from its beating, chirped, “[A magical girl’s duty! Congratulations!]”

It held a document in its claws: a Magical Aptitude Grade 1 notification.

He’d passed.

“[You’re finally going to be a wonderful magical girl!]” the mascot chirped, its voice grating on Si-yool’s nerves.

“[I’ll buy you a cake with Magical Points!]” it added.

It was too late. There was no escape.

That damn bird.

Si-yool could only utter one word.

“F*ck.”

His life was truly cursed.