Chapter 32: An Unavoidable Awareness

The next morning.

I ate the breakfast Ban-ye made for me again today.

My heart had been pounding strangely yesterday, so I was afraid to see Ban-ye today, but this morning, Ban-ye’s attitude was the same as usual.

However, for some reason, his face looked strangely more handsome than usual.

‘Did he put something on…?’

Why is it so shiny….

I rubbed my eyes a few times, and as soon as my eyes met Ban-ye’s, I quickly turned my gaze to my plate.

Then I emptied the seaweed soup so quickly I didn’t know if I was drinking it or chewing it.

“Th-thanks for the food!”

“Are you done?”

“Uh-huh.”

I hurriedly tried to get up from my seat, but Ban-ye frowned.

Then he tapped the table.

I was halfway up, but for some reason, I felt that gesture was calling me, so I sat back down.

As if to say ‘good job,’ Ban-ye handed me a well-grilled sausage from the plate in the middle of the table.

“…Huh?”

“Eat that.”

“I… I’m done.”

“I’m not done yet.”

“Ah….”

Right….

It’s not polite for the account owner to get up first when the account pilot hasn’t finished eating….

I nibbled on the sausage, cautiously watching Ban-ye.

Ban-ye ate his food without making a sound.

Even though I was stealing glances at him, his pace didn’t quicken at all.

Also, as he ate, he nonchalantly looked at his phone as if my glances didn’t bother him at all.

“….”

If he was going to be like that, why didn’t he let me get up….

I was a bit dumbfounded by Ban-ye’s seemingly dismissive attitude, but I couldn’t really rebel.

So from then on, I just openly watched Ban-ye.

And then I discovered a new charming point about him.

His face was one thing, but the line from his elbow to his fingers holding the phone was really straight and fair.

‘He has a mole on his ear… but none on his hand.’

Just then, our eyes met unexpectedly.

Ban-ye stared at me intently.

Feeling awkward, I threw a question at him.

“…What are you looking at?”

“The official Chaos Online YouTube.”

“W-without sound?”

“It has subtitles.”

After saying that, Ban-ye got up from his seat without even saying he was done eating.

I got up and followed behind Ban-ye.

And I did the dishes.

While I was washing the dishes, Ban-ye watched the Chaos Online YouTube.

I was conscious of Ban-ye loitering (?) near me, so I kept stealing glances at him, and whenever I got caught by his sensitive gaze, I would ask an awkward question.

Each time, Ban-ye was nonchalant, but he didn’t go into his room or ignore my questions.

In the end, the place I escaped to was Chaos Online.

But foolishly, that place was not a place where I could completely escape from Ban-ye.

Ban-ye glanced at me turning on the game, then brought his laptop and sat down next to me.

I screamed silently and regretted it, but it was already too late.

Watching Ban-ye log in as Ah-ang, I logged in as Ban-yeStorage.

I accepted the party invitation that came as if it were a matter of course.

“Where are we going first?”

Instead of answering, Ban-ye just stared at my monitor screen.

Then he asked bluntly.

“You’re going to get that to max level, right, hyung?”

“Huh? Yeah, I have to.”

“Hmm.”

Instead of heading straight to a dungeon, Ban-ye was lost in thought for a moment.

“Why… why?”

“If you’re going to max level, isn’t it better to focus on being a buffer from now on? You don’t really solo play anyway. You’re with me.”

“I play with other people too?”

“And your controls are not that great, hyung.”

“…They’re not that bad.”

I denied it desperately, but it wasn’t very convincing.

Just then, Ban-ye got up and strode over.

“Let me see for a second.”

“Huh?”

Ban-ye, who came up behind my chair, stretched out his arms.

His left hand was on the left side of my desk, and his other hand was on the mouse on the right side.

Ban-ye leaned down and nonchalantly rested his chin on my shoulder.

In other words, I was being back-hugged.

My body stiffened as his soft cheek touched me.

In the midst of it all, a faint smell of cigarettes mixed with his body scent wafted over, making my head spin.

“I’m not saying to get rid of all your combat skills, just a few….”

“….”

“During the live broadcast the other day.”

“Uh….”

“It was funny seeing you follow me around even though you weren’t good at it, but I think it would be okay to do something like a time attack while you give buffs?”

“….”

“What do you think?”

“….”

“Hyung.”

“…U-uh, yeah!”

Only after answering a step too late did I realize that Ban-ye had said a lot to me.

But I didn’t have the luxury of concentrating on what Ban-ye was saying.

I don’t even know what he said, so what the….

I twisted my body and escaped from Ban-ye.

But even though I managed to get his chin off my shoulder, my body was still trapped in Ban-ye’s arms.

“B-Ban-ye.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Uh, no…. J-just a minute.”

At this point, he should have moved out of the way, but Ban-ye didn’t budge.

In the end, I could only escape from Ban-ye’s arms after making the excuse, “B-bathroom….”

I ran into the bathroom as if escaping and tore at my hair.

‘What the, what was that?!’

My heart was pounding like crazy.

Ever since last night, I had been overly conscious of Ban-ye.

The problem was that this feeling of being conscious… was a little familiar.

It was similar to when I first started my online relationship with Kwon Da-jung, that j*rk.

‘You crazy m0ron.’

Even I thought I was out of my mind.

After being burned like that, I’m getting feelings for Ban-ye, whom I met in a game?

There was no one more hopeless than this.

‘There’s no way I’m that crazy.’

It’s because Ban-ye is so handsome….

That’s why my heart is acting up a bit.

Honestly, that face is just cheating….

Right.

“Calm down.”

But after washing my face with cold water and coming out of the bathroom to go back to my room, as soon as Ban-ye turned to look at me, I avoided his gaze again.

It was an irresistible force.

‘…I’m going crazy.’

At this rate, won’t Ban-ye definitely notice that I’m different from usual?

But just then, Ban-ye called me.

“Hyung.”

“…Uh, y-yeah?”

“I’m going out later and sleeping over.”

“What?”

I was so surprised that I looked at Ban-ye.

Ban-ye was looking at me with his characteristic expressionless face.

Wondering if Ban-ye had noticed my strange (?) inner thoughts, I asked cautiously.

“Why…? Is, is something… uncomfortable….”

“I have something I left at my old place, so I’m going to get it and then meet some friends. But I think it’ll be late, so I’m just going to sleep over at my friend’s place.”

“Ah….”

Just as I was feeling embarrassed for getting ahead of myself, Ban-ye said something to me that seemed like a joke to him.

“Are you sad that I’m sleeping out?”

I answered Ban-ye’s joke with a straight face.

“No! I’m absolutely not sad! It’s okay. You can go out and sleep over freely whenever you want.”

Thanks to that, the atmosphere was completely ruined.

Ban-ye’s smile disappeared, and only then did I realize that Ban-ye, for someone like him, had made a rare, even affectionate, joke.

“Ah… haha.”

I tried to laugh awkwardly, but Ban-ye had already turned cold and walked past me to his room.

‘I’m screwed….’

I clutched my head and scrunched up my face silently, then soon everything became exhausting.

I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes.

I didn’t want to think about anything.

I’m so tired….

But, the thought of Ban-ye wouldn’t leave my head.

“Why?”

I’ve been getting along fine with Ban-ye until now, right?!

But now, of all times?

“…Am I, lonely?”

So am I just mesmerized by Ban-ye, who is close by?

This had some possibility.

Well… I haven’t been meeting anyone recently, and I’m always with Ban-ye.

Besides, with a face like that, it’s understandable….

“It’s… it’s also been a while? Right. That’s why….”

I was lying on my back, then I changed my position to lying on my stomach.

Then I grabbed the phone that I had carelessly tossed next to my pillow.

I scrolled up my messenger, but there was no one to contact at this time of the afternoon.

And it was a new realization, but all the people I could contact were game connections.

“…There is a problem.”

I muttered to myself and sent a message to HugMeRaiseMe on Discord.

For some reason, I felt like HugMeRaiseMe would reply if I messaged him.

[Ah-ang] yo aki what u doin

[HugMeRaiseMe] ? lol

However, after that question mark, HugMeRaiseMe didn’t reply to me.

That’s so mean, really…!

So I sent a Discord message to the next person I thought wouldn’t ignore me.

[Ah-ang] what r u doin

[ImSoCute] Me? Playing Euro Truck lol

[ImSoCute] What about you?

And, my choice was correct.

I was excited and started to reply to ImSoCute.