Chapter 13: Trauma.

Chapter 12 – Trauma.

“Are you really okay?”

“Yes, there’s nothing visibly wrong. It might be good to get an X-ray or CT scan just in case, but…”

Despite Ha-yeon’s worry, the doctor calmly delivered the diagnosis, but his gaze remained fixed on Eun-wol’s wrist.

“It would be difficult to take a scan with something like that on.”

“Ah…”

“Still, no major problems are visible. There are no signs of fractures or concussions, and honestly, it’s still hard to believe that she was hit by a truck.”

“Even so…”

“Since she’s hospitalized, it would be best to observe her progress for now.”

Once the doctor finished his diagnosis, Eun-wol returned to the hospital room and stared blankly out the window again, while Ha-yeon sighed deeply and sank to the floor in front of the hospital room door.

“Aren’t you going in?”

“…Ryu Se-jin, weren’t you going back to the Association?”

“Normally, I’d be heading back like the Association President, but I heard about the accident.”

“It’s because of me.”

She hung her head and gave a bitter smile.

She had actually intended to suggest to Eun-wol during their walk, even if just for a moment, that she live with her.

It was because she had resolved to protect Eun-wol, but that resolution was shattered before her eyes once again.

“Even though I was right there, I couldn’t protect her twice.”

She had given up on saving Eun-wol, thinking she was an artifact, and merely watched her suffer at the hands of the Crow Guild, and then she couldn’t save her from being hit by a truck right in front of her.

But what pained her even more was not Eun-wol blaming or struggling, but rather her calmly accepting her injuries.

“Do I have the right to take responsibility for that child? I’m afraid I’ll only hurt her more.”

Ha-yeon’s body trembled as she recalled her parents, who had died because of her in the past.

If Eun-wol stayed with her like this, she too, like Ha-yeon’s parents, would…

“You truly are the Association President’s granddaughter.”

“…What?”

“He said something similar on the day you lost them.”

“Grandfather…?”

“He doubted whether he, left alone, could properly protect his granddaughter.”

“…”

“But in the end, he never gave up on you.”

At his words, Ha-yeon thought of Choi Tae-seok, who had always been kind to her, yet sometimes strictly educated her, and her trembling body gradually began to calm down.

“And isn’t that the same for you? The Ha-yeon I know wouldn’t give up on that child.”

“…”

“Well, you don’t have to push yourself. We could send her to a facility I know through an acquaintance…”

“No.”

As Ryu Se-jin deliberately provoked her slightly, Ha-yeon cut him off and stood up.

He then gave a small smile as he looked at her, and Ha-yeon reaffirmed her resolve and opened her mouth.

“I’ll ask Eun-wol.”

“Is that so. By the way, if you make such a scary face, you might get rejected.”

She had a slight complex about her subtly sharp eyes, which unintentionally scared other children.

However, Ryu Se-jin’s words were intended to ease her tension rather than tease her, so she chuckled and quietly said:

“…Thank you.”

Just before she entered Eun-wol’s hospital room, she suddenly remembered something and said to Ryu Se-jin:

“I don’t know if it’s just a feeling, but…”

“…?”

“Eun-wol said something before we went for a walk. ‘I felt like I had to go somewhere.’”

“…”

“And after the accident, she immediately returned to the hospital without any lingering regrets. Of course, I took her to the hospital, but what should I say…”

“Are you saying it looked like she had anticipated the accident?”

“It might be my imagination, but just in case.”

“Understood. I’ll keep that in mind.”

With those last words, Ha-yeon immediately entered the hospital room.

Inside, Eun-wol, who was quietly looking out the window as usual, slowly turned her gaze to Ha-yeon, who then smiled as if her previous somber mood was a lie, and said:

“Have you been waiting long?”

–”Thank you…thank you so much. I don’t know how I can repay you…”–

–”Thank you, unnie.”–

‘…’

I sat quietly leaning against the bed in the hospital room, recalling the words of gratitude I had just heard.

It was the first time I had heard genuine words of thanks, not just polite formalities.

I had always considered helping others to be a given.

Even at work, if I helped someone and received thanks, they simply saw me as someone easy to use.

From my parents, I only ever heard things like, ‘You can’t even do that?’ or ‘Don’t make a fuss over something obvious.’

The closest I ever got to sincere gratitude was when I played the tank role well in a game.

But the gratitude I heard this time felt very different.

‘My chest feels ticklish, but it’s not an unpleasant feeling.’

As I was thinking that, the door opened and Ha-yeon-ssi entered.

“Have you been waiting long?”

“No, not at all.”

“What were you thinking about by yourself?”

“…Just now. Why did they thank me?”

“Hm?”

“I just did something obvious. But I still don’t understand why they thanked me with such expressions.”

“…”

Ha-yeon-ssi was momentarily flustered by my question, but soon her expression softened, and she slowly approached me.

She carefully took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said:

“Eun-wol, you protected someone else’s precious life.”

“But that’s obvious…”

“It’s not obvious. You saved someone I almost couldn’t save myself.”

“…”

“If you hadn’t been there, that child’s time would have stopped at that moment. And most importantly, you protected those people from the terrible experience of losing someone precious. That’s such an amazing thing, something to be truly grateful for.”

“The experience of losing someone precious?”

“That pain is truly agonizing and terrifying. So, I’ll say it too. Thank you for saving that child…the child I couldn’t save.”

“…”

Hearing thanks again, I widened my eyes and looked at her.

Ha-yeon-ssi just smiled with her eyes, placed her hand on my head, and gently stroked it.

It was like being treated as a child, having my head patted, but…

****

*Thump- Thump-*

For some reason, tears fell from my eyes.

“E-Eun-wol?!”

“It’s my first time receiving thanks.”

“…!”

“I thought all my tears had dried up… It’s clearly not sad, so why am I crying?”

I didn’t understand why tears were falling.

Even though I had become a child, it wasn’t a situation to cry, yet tears flowed.

[Static-]

“I-It hurts… Please stop… I can’t… I can’t take it anymore… Please…”

“Stop crying so loud! You damn brat!”

In the cold, dark prison, I cried and begged for a long time, unable to endure the immense pain.

But what came back were only curses and violence.

It was natural for me to suffer.

Unable to endure the obvious, I just became a fool who couldn’t faithfully perform my role.

And eventually, I gave up.

Because pain was a given.

Because pain had been kinder to me than anyone else.

Because pain was the only thing that remembered me…

[Crackle-]

“!!!”

I flinched at the image I had just recalled and wiped away my tears.

I was so startled that the tears stopped flowing.

‘What was that just now?’

If my guess was correct, the memory I just recalled might be Eun-wol’s past from the game’s story.

But why did it ache so much, as if it were a past I had personally experienced?

It’s definitely a game.

Perhaps it’s one of the feelings of disconnect from becoming a game character.

But…

It was scary.

It was so scary that I wondered if this was what trauma felt like.

The idea of not crying was ingrained in my body.

“E-Eun-wol…?”

When I cried, Ha-yeon-ssi looked startled, removed her hand from my head, then cautiously reached out again. Unconsciously, her hand overlapped with someone’s hand from that memory, and I flinched and pulled away.

And my mouth moved on its own, saying:

“I-I’m sorry, I won’t cry. I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“…”

My reaction seemed to startle Ha-yeon-ssi even more, as she froze and stared at me. Then, belatedly, I came to my senses and said:

“I’m sorry, it was because of an old memory for a moment…”

“Oh… I see. I’m fine. Are you okay, Eun-wol?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

I didn’t know why I suddenly became so emotional, but once I calmed down again, my previous actions felt embarrassing.

“I’m sorry about that. I won’t cry again.”

“…”

But Ha-yeon-ssi only looked even sadder and simply hugged me.

[Giggle.]