Chapter 11: I like big breasts, long black hair!

“You missed it when Teacher Mo called you away during PE.”

“The PE teacher said we’re having a sports festival in two weeks.”

“This year’s festival is early to help freshmen bond quickly.”

Zheng’s words made me clutch my forehead.

A headache was coming on.

A sports festival?

Sure, two days off class sounds nice.

But being forced to join events?

That’s pure torture.

I have zero athletic ability.

My sports skills are laughably bad.

I’m even weaker than most guys.

Not that it has anything to do with Sister Yuan easily overpowering me.

That’s just me not daring to resist her.

“Tell me we can choose events and skip them entirely.”

“Dream on, Young Master Lu.”

“Everyone’s gotta do at least one.”

“You think you’re the only one who wants to slack off?”

As expected, no such luck.

I’ll just sign up for an easy 400-meter run.

Not coming in last is a win.

Seeing my glum face, Zheng patted my shoulder.

He leaned in close.

“Don’t be so down.”

“Think about it.”

“All those girls in shorts and T-shirts, running hard on the track.”

“The sports festival’s a goldmine for views like that.”

“Maybe we’ll even see Teacher Mo in athletic wear.”

I slumped on my desk, lazy as Garfield.

I had no interest in his fantasy.

A quiet, cozy nap spot suits me better.

Sister Yuan in athletic wear?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen that.

“You want to see it too?”

An Xue Ruo turned to me, asking.

“Me? Nah, I’m not interested.”

“Especially not in Teacher Mo’s. Pass.”

“Want to see mine?”

I glanced at her pretty oval face.

I waved my hand, ready to deny it.

“Me, me, me! I’m dying to see!”

“An Xue Ruo, you’re so gorgeous.”

“You’d look amazing in athletic wear.”

Zheng jumped in eagerly.

I shot him a glare.

This guy’s way too good at sucking up.

“Thanks for the compliment, Zheng Chen.”

“What about you, Lu You?”

“You want to see me in it?”

“I’m not into any girl’s athletic wear.”

“Finding a spot to nap during the festival is all I care about.”

“Young Master Lu, what’s wrong with you?”

“No youthful energy at all.”

“You’re like a corpse rotting for years.”

“Yeah, Lu You, you’re way too negative.”

I twisted my head side to side on the desk.

My arms dangled limply.

“But I really don’t like sports.”

“I’m not into the festival either.”

“Do I have to fake excitement and cheer with you guys?”

“Ugh, you’re hopeless.”

“Keep slacking like that, and you’ll never find a girlfriend.”

An Xue Ruo nodded, agreeing with Zheng.

“Aren’t you afraid of ending up alone, Lu You?”

“Old and lonely, no one to care for you when you’re sick.”

“How pitiful.”

“I’ll worry about that later.”

“I’m happy just living each day joyfully for now.”

As I said this, I tilted my head toward Zheng.

I stared at his bright, smiling face.

“And, pray tell, Mr. Positive Sunshine.”

“Have you found a girlfriend?”

Zheng’s grin vanished.

With a soft thud, he dropped his head onto the desk like me.

“Man, Young Master Lu, your mouth’s brutal.”

“I’m such a charming, dashing, sunny guy.”

“How am I still single?”

“It’s unscientific.”

“Look in the mirror for answers.”

“Hope you get that sweet romance you want soon.”

That was a rare kind word for Zheng.

I tease him a lot, but when he’s down, I’ll toss him some comfort.

“What about you, An Xue Ruo?”

“You can’t lack admirers, right?”

“I wish I didn’t have any.”

“This week alone, I got three love letters.”

“Thirteen random gifts of milk and snacks.”

“And five confessions.”

I was surprised, but it made sense.

She’s one of the two school beauties.

Everyone’s taking their shot, hoping she’s into their type.

Unlike Sister Yuan, she’s warm, helpful, and well-liked.

Always wearing that signature sweet smile.

Some guys see her smile at them and think she’s into them.

It’s common.

“How’d you handle it?”

“Threw out the gifts?”

“Not exactly.”

“I tossed the letters when no one was around.”

“The food’s trickier.”

“Throwing it out feels wasteful, so I gave it all to Ye Mi.”

“She probably kept it for herself.”

If we didn’t have both Sister Yuan and An Xue Ruo in this class, Su Ye Mi would be super popular too.

She’s An Xue Ruo’s deskmate and our class president.

A pretty, serious girl.

In looks, she’s third in our class, after Sister Yuan and An Xue Ruo.

Her bold, outgoing personality suits the diplomatic role of class president.

She gets along great with An Xue Ruo.

“As for the confessions, they’re pretty sensible.”

“Once I reject them, they back off.”

“So, you’re not planning to date either?”

“Nope, I’m not into dating right now.”

“But if you tried to win me over, I might get interested.”

No way.

If I were to fall for someone romantically, Sister Yuan’s priority would be way higher.

“Nah, I’m just a nobody.”

“Leave that chance for a sunny guy like Zheng.”

Zheng was still slumped on the desk, as listless as me.

“She’d have to like me first.”

“I bet An Xue Ruo has zero interest in me right now, right?”

“Wow, Zheng Chen, you’re pretty sharp about this stuff.”

An Xue Ruo covered her mouth, feigning shock.

Then she tapped my textbook with her finger.

“So, what kind of girls does Lu You like?”

“Or what types are you into?”

That stumped me.

What kind of girls do I like?

I’m not sure.

I don’t have a specific type.

I just know what my XP leans toward.

“Curvy, big-breasted, long black hair.”

Crap, I’m too used to joking with Zheng.

I forgot An Xue Ruo was listening and blurted out my XP.

“Young Master Lu, what’s wrong with you?”

“An Xue Ruo’s right here.”

“Why’re you so blunt?”

Hearing Zheng’s teasing, I rushed to explain.

“No, forget I said that.”

“Sorry, I’m used to bantering with Zheng.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m always checking out anime girls’ chests too.”

“No need to feel bad.”

She said this, then glanced down at her own chest.

Her expression turned a bit disappointed.

It’s not small, but it’s far from “big-breasted.”

About average for a high school girl.

“Don’t worry, An Xue Ruo.”

“You’ll definitely grow more.”

“Like Teacher Mo?”

Uh, comparing yourself to Sister Yuan?

That’s kind of setting yourself up.

Sister Yuan’s at least a D, I’d guess.

“Uh… well… I can’t say.”

“Hey, Young Master Lu.”

“What about Su Ye Mi?”

“Doesn’t she fit your ‘big-breasted’ thing?”

Su Ye Mi wasn’t at her seat.

Zheng only dared say this because she was gone.

She’s nice, but talking about her chest to her face?

Even if she didn’t mind, it’d be awkward.

Su Ye Mi’s curves are pretty noticeable.

Even in a loose uniform, you can see the outline.

She perfectly fits the “big-breasted” standard.

Maybe even a bit bigger than Sister Yuan.

“I’m not commenting.”

“You’re asking stuff I can’t answer.”

“An Xue Ruo’s right here.”

“Even if I knew what to say, I wouldn’t.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“I won’t tell Ye Mi.”

“I don’t think she’d care much if she knew.”

I didn’t want to keep talking about this in front of a girl.

Time to end it.

“What about Teacher Mo?”

“Young Master Lu, what’s your take?”

“My take? I use my eyes.”

“Cut it out already.”

“Can we talk about something wholesome?”

Ding-a-ling—

The dismissal bell rang.

I lifted my tired head and packed my bag.

I didn’t get up to leave.

Sister Yuan told me to go home with her every day after school.

So I had to wait until everyone else left.

“You’re not going?”

“I’ll wait till the crowd clears.”

“It’s too packed now.”

“What about you, An Xue Ruo?”

“Why’re you staying?”

“I’m waiting too.”

“Teacher Mo asked me to stop by her office after school.”

“She said she has something to tell me.”

Sister Yuan wants to talk to An Xue Ruo?

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

*TL Note: “XP” is slang from gaming/anime culture, referring to personal preferences or fetishes. “Chuunibyou” (mentioned earlier) is an anime term for a phase where teens act out grandiose or delusional fantasies, often tied to adolescence.