Chapter 4: You Can Trust Me

Hyung’s leg was crushed to the point where no skin tissue remained.

Both his arms were broken, his entire body was covered in burns, and his head, which had suffered a cranial injury, was wrapped tightly in bandages.

They said any other Esper would have already rampaged.

“He never let it go over 86%. My Hyung….”

But with his strong mental fortitude alone, Hyung clung tenaciously to his own wavelength.

The attending physician, who had clucked his tongue saying he’d never seen an Esper control their wavelength without guiding despite being a Barrier Specialist, said he was truly amazing.

“No way he’d let it go over. The Team Leader is famous for his strong mentality. You know that too.”

Aran-noona, who had gotten tea from the vending machine, placed a warm paper cup in my hand.

Only then did my violently trembling hands calm down.

As an aftereffect of guiding nonstop for two whole days, I would suffer severe convulsions if I wasn’t holding onto something.

“He’s incredibly strong…. My Hyung is the strongest.”

I mumbled endlessly, staring at the bed where Hyung lay with a hazy gaze.

This too was one of the side effects of excessive guiding.

Sprawled on the comfortable sofa, mumbling with slurred speech, I was wearing clothes for the first time in two days.

Ah, not clothes, a gown.

Or maybe it felt like a blanket.

“I brought clothes.”

Just as I was thinking about clothes, pressing down the thick fabric wrapped tightly around my body with my chin, Tae Seung-jun appeared at the perfect time, holding a shopping bag as he entered the hospital room.

Esper Hwang Gyu-tae, who came in with him, had red-rimmed eyes.

Glancing at the bed, Esper Hwang Gyu-tae swiped a hand down his long face and sniffled quietly.

Hyung was currently undergoing tests.

“Chul-soo Hyung… told me not to cry….”

My dazed muttering made Esper Hwang Gyu-tae even more choked up, and he eventually left the room.

With a stiff face, Tae Seung-jun offered me the clothes he’d brought, but then put them back in the shopping bag upon seeing the tea in my hand.

“He hasn’t slept for about two days, has he?”

“Probably.”

At Aran-noona’s reply, Tae Seung-jun’s face crumpled as he glared at me with displeasure.

My body was just as covered in blood as Hyung’s, from having held him and guided him while he was covered in it.

“Hey, Seo Yeong-u.”

Tae Seung-jun blocked my view of the distant bed I was staring at blankly and bent his upper body.

“Just sleep. The Team Leader is recovering now, so it’s fine.”

“…Move.”

“Thanks to you, his level has already dropped to nearly 70%. There’s nothing more for you to do.”

I gave a feeble kick at Tae Seung-jun, who was blocking my view, and told him to get lost.

I was in a state where other people’s words couldn’t reach me.

My eyes and ears were open only to Hyung, and my heavy head was filled with nothing but worry for him.

“Ah, the kids, did you feed our kids?”

My head, now burdened with worry for the children I had almost forgotten, throbbed as if it would burst.

The most severe pain Hyung was experiencing was in his head.

My mouth went dry, wondering if his brain had been damaged.

I didn’t know for sure to what extent each Esper’s unique recovery abilities reached.

“I fed them and gave them snacks too.”

“Yeong-i doesn’t eat well…. Did Yeong-i eat too?”

“I left it out, so she’ll eat it on her own. You worry about your own food.”

I shut my mouth at Tae Seung-jun’s irritated tone and shifted restlessly.

Should I go for a little while?

What about Hyung?

The kids are home alone….

“We’ll take turns watching them, so don’t worry.”

Seeing me fidgeting, Aran-noona pressed my shoulder, urging me to lean back on the sofa.

She covered my face with her hand, telling me to get some sleep and closing my eyes, but the moment she removed her hand, they opened again.

I didn’t want to sleep.

“You’re not in good shape right now. You need to rest.”

Ignoring Noona’s low, deep voice, a random question popped into my head.

“Noona, does your hair not grow…?”

Seeing Aran-noona’s familiar short hair brought back old memories.

Eight years ago, when I was first brought to Barrier Team 3 by Hyung, Noona had the same short hair.

Did she say she cut it herself with clippers?

My unstable stream of consciousness, starting from Aran-noona’s hair, stretched out to Barrier Team 3.

The first and last team for which I had been the dedicated Guide.

A team I had been with for a whole four years.

If only I hadn’t acted so foolishly, I would have been with them for longer.

Aran-noona and Tae Seung-jun, with me dazed before them, spoke in low voices.

“You stay with him. Come out after you see him fall asleep.”

“Are you heading straight to the site?”

“No, the Director’s office.”

Tae Seung-jun’s eyes narrowed as he asked if she had been summoned by the Director.

Aran-noona, with little change in her expression, listened to the attending physician’s explanation of Hyung’s condition with an indifferent face and left.

My ears perked up at the news that his bones were already setting, and I let out a deep sigh of relief.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

Thank goodness. He’s recovering well.

“Hey, I asked if you’re hungry.”

The doctor said it would take some time because the wounds were so severe, but the physical injuries would heal completely.

I hoped that at least the reddish burn marks would disappear before Hyung saw them.

No matter how mentally strong Hyung was, he was sure to be shocked.

“Don’t ignore me.”

Suddenly, Tae Seung-jun grabbed my wrist, which was holding the paper cup, and lifted it, bringing the cup to my lips.

The moderately cooled tea sloshed and wet my lower lip.

Only then did I realize I was thirsty and sipped the tea.

With something in my mouth, I felt a bit more alive.

“You.”

Tae Seung-jun, who had been watching me finish the tea, took the paper cup and said something incomprehensible.

“You didn’t do that to yourself, did you?”

I nudged Tae Seung-jun, who was blocking my view again, with my foot and craned my neck to see Hyung, then tilted my head.

Did what to myself?

Tae Seung-jun, who had been glaring at my blank face, pointed to my hand.

A fat bandage was wrapped around the middle finger I had cut while cleaning the broken cup.

I had gotten five stitches while Hyung was being tested.

Because I had insisted I wouldn’t go to the treatment room, the doctor had brought the medical tools himself and treated me.

As expected, I just caused trouble wherever I went.

“Did you cut yourself?”

As if I’d be crazy enough to cut my own hand.

With the kids and Hyung here, there was no way I’d do something like that.

As I shook my head with a weary face, my eyes suddenly tried to close.

Drinking the tea made me sleepy.

As the lukewarm feeling spread through my body, I felt like I was going to sink into the sofa.

My convulsing hands went limp along with the rest of my body.

“My Hyung is really cool… and sexy.”

I mumbled nonsense in my sleepiness, watching the doctors attach a guiding machine to Hyung’s body.

In their eyes, it must have seemed like I was in no condition to guide any longer.

But that’s not true.

I can do it just fine.

“Just get some sleep.”

Tae Seung-jun grabbed my hand, which was reaching towards the bed where Hyung lay, and pulled it down.

He tucked my arm inside the blanket and grumbled for me to stop crying.

I was about to retort that I wasn’t crying, but salty tears entered my mouth, and I swallowed my words.

“I want to sleep… next to Hyung.”

Tae Seung-jun, who had been looking down at me pathetically as I shed silent tears, thankfully granted my request.

I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, I was next to Hyung.

Not even realizing a day had passed, I moved closer to smell Hyung’s scent, which was hidden beneath the smell of disinfectant.

Carefully resting my face on Hyung’s pillow, I examined his bandaged body.

“Hyung.”

Hyung’s even breaths touched my fingertips as I caressed his healed, torn lips.

His nose, wrapped in bandages, stood tall, as if his broken nasal bridge had been restored.

I removed the guiding machine’s pad from his left chest and placed my hand on it.

Pushing my guiding into the spot closest to Hyung’s heart, I stared at his chest, which rose and fell shallowly.

How much must it have hurt?

They said Hyung had been trapped in a Gate.

To eliminate a Gate from which monsters were pouring out, Hyung, who could teleport, had gone in alone, and an accident had occurred during the process.

Aran-noona’s words that the situation would have escalated to the worst-case scenario without Hyung struck painfully in my dazed mind.

Was this not the worst-case scenario?

Even though Hyung was hurt like this.

Pouting my dry lips, I snuggled closer to Hyung and sniffled.

The images of the perfectly fine Aran-noona, Tae Seung-jun, and Esper Hwang Gyu-tae flickered in my mind.

Why did only Hyung have to get hurt like this?

Why did Hyung go to eliminate the Gate alone?

I harshly suppressed the twisted part of my heart that dared to resent those blameless people.

Without Hyung to untangle my twisted thoughts, I kept committing sins in my mind.

Because I was a rotten person to begin with.

Clenching my hands, which had started to tremble again, I got up from the bed.

To wash my dirty body and mind, I went into the private bathroom and turned on the shower.

I cried there for a long time, then washed my body with hot water until my skin turned red.

What would Hyung have done? I repeated this thought over and over as I dried my damp body and returned to the bed.

If I had been on the verge of death and lying in a hospital bed, what would Hyung have said?

With what kind of face would he have stayed by my side?

What words would he have used to comfort me?

If it were Hyung.

“It’s okay.”

Mimicking his gentle voice, I climbed onto the bed naked and burrowed under the covers.

Since I couldn’t give Hyung more than a kiss for guiding, I wanted to increase our contact this way.

“Just trust me.”

As our bare skin touched deeply, I leaned against Hyung, who was absorbing the guiding more smoothly, and closed my eyes.

I tried to imitate Hyung’s calm expression, as he rarely cried, but gave up because the tears wouldn’t stop.

Even if I were reborn, I could never become a strong adult like Hyung.

I just prayed to all the gods in the world to let me be Hyung’s lover in the next life too, and slowly fell asleep.

“I’ll protect you.”

Hyung remained unconscious for a whole week, and I dedicated myself to guiding him with a naked body until he opened his eyes.

Except for briefly putting on a gown whenever someone came, I lived like a primeval human without a single piece of underwear.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that Hyung would be shocked to see me like that.