Chapter 8: I’m Not a Pervert

At the moist tip of his tongue nearing my lower lip, I finally opened my eyes and looked at the Guide.

I had been pretending to be asleep, curious to see how far he would go if left alone.

The bluish light of dawn filtering through the window merged with the quiet stillness.

As I came face to face with the face I hadn’t been able to see properly due to the shock of his nudity, I was momentarily at a loss for words.

“……”

The Guide just widened his eyes as much as he had when I first saw him, moving his lips without a word.

My gaze was naturally drawn to his thin lips as they faintly opened and closed.

Dark red blood was caked in the center of his chapped lips, which matched their rough texture.

The area under his bloodshot eyes was hollow, his swollen lips were pale, and his long eyelashes were wet.

Did he cry? Why? Because of me? What did I do?

“Get off.”

The more I looked at the Guide’s reddish eyes, the more my insides churned.

I wasn’t the one who made him cry, yet my heart felt heavy.

My head was already complicated enough to drive me mad, and now with this Guide who seemed to have a lot of baggage thrown into the mix, I was right on the verge of losing it.

“Don’t touch me.”

I spoke informally without realizing it.

I almost threw the Guide off when he ignored my words to get off and suddenly touched my cheek.

I knew he was guiding me, but I didn’t want to receive it if it was going to be like this.

Crawling into someone’s bed naked while they were sleeping, secretly touching them, and even trying to kiss them.

If this wasn’t a pervert, then what was?

“I-I’m sorry… I thought you were asleep.”

His words, spoken in a raspy voice, were so absurd that I burst out laughing.

I was about to snap back, asking if it was okay to pounce on someone just because they were asleep, but I stopped myself.

The Guide stiffened at my sharp sneer, then opened his lips slightly, showing his even teeth, before closing his mouth again.

I felt like I could see into the Guide’s mind, which had gone as white as his pale skin.

The black pupils in his large eyes trembled precariously.

Even though he was the one who had climbed into someone else’s bed without permission.

“Is this the only way you can guide?”

I was curious what was in that small head of his that made him act like this.

In the movies I’d seen, it was holding hands or, at most, kissing.

And of course, they were fully clothed.

No matter how ignorant I was about the world of superhumans, I knew that not everyone would guide naked.

“I-I was just trying to help you recover quickly. Guiding is more efficient when bare skin touches.”

The Guide, who had been hesitating for a long time, suddenly started speaking fluently.

“The level, I was just going to do it until that yellow number stabilized. I came in while you were sleeping because I thought you’d be uncomfortable…. My thinking was short-sighted. I’m sorry.”

The Guide’s gaze gradually lowered as he spoke quickly, as if reciting a prepared line.

He had the expression of someone who knew, even as he was saying it, that his actions were not normal.

As he had predicted, I was uncomfortable.

Still, I suppressed my displeasure, remembering the words that he had spent the night in the hospital room just to save me.

“Did you really do that for a whole week? Without even sleeping?”

“Ah, no. I slept. I slept well.”

The Guide, who shook his head with a haggard face that clearly showed the traces of many sleepless nights, staggered.

He squeezed his eyes shut as if dizzy, then opened them and glanced at me furtively.

I unconsciously grabbed the arm of the Guide, who was tilting to one side, and sat up with him.

Just as I was about to resolve to have a somewhat normal conversation, my expression crumpled.

Seeing the white body exposed outside the blanket.

“I’m, I’m naturally skinny. I’ve always been a little.”

I was surprised by his skinny torso, where I could count his ribs, and my jaw dropped at his slender waist.

I had never seen a man’s waist so thin.

It wasn’t the body of someone who had starved for just a day or two.

Don’t tell me he skipped meals to guide me.

“Why do you live like that?”

I was going to ask for a reason anyway, but a surge of emotion made my words come out harshly.

It was pathetic and incomprehensible that a grown adult couldn’t take care of his own body.

His foolish expression and timid posture, every single thing was getting on my nerves.

“Are you even twenty-eight?”

Looking closely, he looked much younger than his age.

If he just put on some weight, he could pass for my age.

“…Yes.”

Tears suddenly fell from the Guide’s eyes as he let out a faint voice and bit his lower lip.

This time, my own words failed me as I watched the Guide shed tears without even a slight whimper.

I was suddenly about to get sad too.

Wary of the tears that had become more frequent since I lost my memory, I frowned to keep from crying along with him.

At that, the Guide avoided my gaze and bowed his head.

“I won’t, do this… ever, again.”

The Guide, who pressed down hard on each word as if to keep from crying, tried to get off the bed.

He shook the arm I was holding weakly and wiped his tears.

Even the way he roughly rubbed his eyes and damp cheeks with the palm of his hand looked clumsy.

He looked precarious, his shoulders shaking and backing away like a child driven to the water’s edge.

“I’m sorry.”

As soon as I let go of his hand, the Guide turned and left.

For some reason, I felt like I shouldn’t just let him go, so I was about to say something, anything, but gave up.

My tongue froze the moment I saw the Guide’s gaunt arm, where my handprint remained.

If I had used just a little more force, I might have broken it.

At that thought, my heart began to pound wildly.

“Hey!!”

I suddenly shouted.

To the Guide who was about to leave the hospital room stark naked.

The Guide was surprised by the shout that burst from my dazed mouth, and so was I.

I hadn’t shouted of my own will.

Seeing the Guide about to go out into the hallway where people were coming and going, with his front and back completely exposed, I had screamed without realizing it.

The Guide, who had grabbed the half-open door, his legs giving out, barely managed to keep his balance and looked at me.

His pale face had turned even whiter.

Beep—.

A warning sound rang from the wavelength measurement machine connected to my heart.

The yellow number that Aran-noona had warned me about had risen to 71%.

The terrified Guide’s expression hardened at the warning sound, and he rushed towards me.

He jumped onto the bed in an instant and closed the distance before I could even push him away.

So close that our skin touched.

“Sixty!”

The Guide grabbed my shoulders and raised his cracked voice.

His expression was completely different from before as he spread his knees wide and trapped my thighs between them.

“Just receive guiding until it’s exactly sixty. Please.”

“……”

“I’ll leave right after it drops to sixty. Okay?”

Though he was still shedding tears, his timid, mumbling demeanor had vanished.

He hadn’t even been able to make eye contact properly, yet his hands touching my body were overly natural, without hesitation.

I couldn’t even think of swatting away the hand that was sliding smoothly into my open patient gown.

Because the moment the Guide’s hand touched me, my sharp wariness had blurred.

“It’s dangerous if the level gets high. …Sir.”

You seem more dangerous.

The questions piling up inside me and my softened wariness no longer came out of my mouth.

A warm energy that I couldn’t resist was melting my heart from the hand that was gently rubbing my shoulder.

Even the nagging pain in my body faded.

The Guide, relieved to see me obediently accepting the guiding without any resistance, moved a little closer.

The Guide’s arms, which had slowly approached until our chests touched, wrapped completely around my shoulders.

A sniffling sound came from his parched lips, which were close to my ear.

“I’m, not a pervert. I’m just… an ordinary Guide.”

In what way?

Heat was about to rise from the close proximity, where I could vividly feel his naked body, not even wearing underwear.

I never knew my insides would get hot from a man’s bare skin touching me.

I guess my head was really messed up.

Then again, a head that had lost 16 years of memories couldn’t possibly be normal.

“Let’s, back up a bit.”

“Just a little. Just a little longer.”

The Guide, oblivious to my inner turmoil, stubbornly closed his eyes and focused on guiding.

It felt like a fluffy something was seeping into my body and flowing through my entire system via my bloodstream.

The moment that thing called ‘guiding’ crossed over to below my lower abdomen, where the heat was particularly gathered, my body grew even hotter.

“An hour, no, 30 minutes will be enough. As soon as the guiding is over, I’ll leave… Sir.”

The Guide, who had patted my stiff body, opened his mouth with a timid attitude again and trailed off.

Fck, did he notice?* Now I feel like the pervert.

“……”

The Guide held his breath for a moment and hugged me even tighter.

The bare skin clinging to me without a gap felt even more vivid.

I turned my head and squeezed my eyes shut at the Guide’s action of sitting right on my thigh.

“It happens often when you receive guiding. It’s not weird.”

The Guide, who had started to whisper softly, whether intentionally or not, soothed me.

He stroked my back, which was flushed bright red, as if dealing with a child, and even wrapped his legs completely around my waist.

Very slowly, as if ready to flee the moment I pushed him away.

“It’s okay.”

My legs kept tensing up at his ticklish whispers.

The strange energy circulating through my entire body made the pain subside whenever it lingered on an injured area.

It was strange and unfamiliar.

This thing called guiding.

That strange man.

And me, reacting to that man.