Chapter 5: I Am the Sword Immortal of the Future

“Unbelievable!
My back doesn’t hurt, my legs aren’t numb, my ulcers are gone.
This Sword Immortal feels like she could sprint around the whole city five times in one go!”

Star Comet felt warmth rush back into her cold body.
The amethyst crystals clinging to her arms softened and fell away, and even her ghostly white hair regained a faint shade of gray.
It must be that the life force the crystal had siphoned off had finally returned to her.

Lingling Lan slipped the pill bottle back into her pocket.
This time, Mother hadn’t made one of her usual over-the-top jokes, but there were only two pills left.
If she wanted more, she’d have to do Mother a favor.
No effort, no reward—Mother was clearly trying to nudge her into growing independent little by little.

“Eh? Hey, hey, hey, give me the medicine. What kind of doctor pockets the pills instead of handing them over?”

“I’m afraid you’re so scatterbrained you’ll forget to take them one day, then freeze mid-step into a statue.
Since I saved you, I’ll see it through and make sure you take them properly,” Lingling Lan said with fake concern.
“Not that I actually want to live under the same roof as you, of course.”

“I’m the reincarnation of a Sword Immortal.
I don’t need anyone worrying about me.”

Star Comet deliberately wore a look of confidence.

“Sword Immortal reincarnation?
I’d sooner believe I’m the Immortal Apothecary of Penglai.
Immortal for immortal—it’s all the same nonsense.”

Still playing with tricks I’ve grown tired of? And you’re this into it?
Lingling Lan laughed without restraint.

The Sword Immortal was the strongest swordswoman in this universe called “Keha,” leader of the Ranger Association.
The previous Sword Immortal had power surpassing even Lingling Lan’s eldest sister.
No matter how you looked at it, there was no way this cursed little girl could be a knockoff Sword Immortal.

Did the fever fry her brain? Is she broken?

Though, to be fair, Lingling Lan herself had been pretty chuuni at that age—often imagining she could take down the entire Monster Association single-handedly.
She’d even gone to ask Captain Verena how to change class into a swordswoman.
Her excuse: [I don’t want to be a healer anymore, Captain!]

Unfortunately, she failed the very first exam: the written test.
The captain had even said, half-seriously: [It’s simple, just memorization. I figured you’d fail in combat, not here before even reaching that part.]

If only she could beat Verena up—she would’ve kicked her right then.
Such was the pain of being a hopeless student: utterly incapable of memorization.

Lingling Lan was glad she was no longer a hero.
She used to dread the next week’s Hero Seniority Exam, knowing at her study pace she was guaranteed to fail.
If she did, she would become the first hero in recorded history to be expelled for failing performance points…

At least now, as the daughter of an eldritch god, life was comfortable—no tasks, no forced studying.

“Believe me or not, I’ll be the Sword Immortal’s woman someday!
But since you helped me, as long as we’re not enemies, we can always stay good friends.”

“Please.
I’m a law-abiding citizen.
Have I ever done anything bad?
You’re the one stalking people.
If I report you to the Association, you’ll be the one locked up!”

The memory of being followed these past days made her shiver.

“I had special reasons!
Besides, if you reported me, wouldn’t that land you in trouble too?”

Star Comet scratched her cheek with an embarrassed smile.

“I was joking. Anyway, it’s about time. I should head out.”

After hesitating a moment, Lingling Lan decided to leave.
She’d wasted an entire day dealing with this odd girl, throwing off her original schedule.
If she delayed any longer and missed tonight’s Luna-chan concert, she’d want to strangle herself.

“You really shouldn’t run around right now.
It’s chaos out there.”

Star Comet powered on her computer, skimmed the explosion of alerts across the desktop, and muttered thoughtfully.

Terrifying witch mind-controls innocent rangers, escapes courtroom trial! Our city declares maximum martial law!
Statue of Lady Liberty toppled—the culprits are otherworldly beings!
Experts say cult spawn have infiltrated the city for ten years! Silver Vault Rangers step in!
World-famous diva Lunaticos cancels her concert in our city due to martial law. Fans are advised to await further notice.

The Ranger Association’s official forum was exploding.
Angry citizens and rangers spammed the boards, with posts like:

[RNM! I paid scalper prices to travel thousands of miles for those tickets! How is this fair? Refund!]
[Brothers, grab your weapons! Let’s hunt that damn witch!]
[If I catch the one who stopped me from seeing my waifu sing, I’ll tear her limb from limb!]
[Shut up! She’s my waifu, not yours! If you disagree, fight me!]
[Come on then! I was just itching for a brawl!]

Star Comet quickly closed the forum.
She herself was upset about missing the concert, but was it worth brawling over?
She couldn’t fathom what was in these people’s heads.
The very humans she’d once risked her life to protect—how had they become like this?

“No!!! The concert!!!”

Lingling Lan nearly smashed the computer in grief.
Star Comet panicked and wrestled it out of her hands.

Even though the Association’s old geezers had stacked a mountain of false charges against her, Lingling Lan seemed completely unfazed.
She must’ve had plenty of similar experiences before—there was nothing surprising anymore.

Spawn of eldritch gods were always feared and shunned, branded as monsters stirring up chaos, demons to be eliminated at all costs.
That was why the Ranger Association had been founded in the first place—to drive every last cultspawn out of the human world.

But not seeing Luna’s concert?
That pain was worse than having her mother peel off her skin.

“This is all your fault!
Being wanted is one thing, but making me miss the concert?
What now?!”

“Well… there is a way to fix it.
Since I also want to hear Luna-sama’s heavenly voice live…
If we stage a little performance, not only could we get the concert back, but we’d also solve this mess with the Association.”

Star Comet stared at Lingling Lan like she’d discovered some brilliant, genius-level plan.
In truth, she was just making it up as she went.

“This whole disaster is on you!
If you hadn’t made such a scene in court, would things have gotten this bad?!”

“Eheh, I had another plan all along.
I’ll get the concert tickets and the Association’s 2000-gold bounty.
That’s 2000 gold! Enough to keep us fed for ages!
Forget concerts—we could afford the Banquet Star itself!”

“So you mean…”

At the mention of money, Lingling Lan’s attitude flipped instantly.

“You’ll help this Sword Immortal put on a show.
Together, we’ll fool those old geezers at the Association completely.”