Chapter 32 : Pillow Princess (2)

“I used to think Xiao Qing was a good kid.”

A Qiu was much older than them. He had also worked in the education industry before and always had the bad habit of subconsciously taking care of young people, especially troubled teenagers. He had seen too many of them.

“Although she’s introverted, has low self-esteem, and has extreme thoughts, she also has a lot of empathy, is very considerate, and will do her best to be good to a person.”

A Qiu recalled his initial impression of her and finally sighed,
“But no one expected her to turn out like this.”

Péi Wanyi rested one hand on her knee. The cigarette in her hand was almost burned out, but she didn’t pay much attention.

“I’m partly responsible for her becoming like this.”

A Qiu was a bit surprised to hear this.

He had thought that such a proud person as Péi Wanyi would never take the initiative to admit these things.

After all, a relationship is between two people. How could only one party have a problem?

Péi Wanyi seemed to know what he was thinking and let out a laugh.

“Just because I don’t admit it doesn’t mean I don’t know.”

She was aware of many of the problems, and she also knew why they existed.

It was only when both sides were hurt that she finally saw the reality and had to cut her losses to survive.

Her initial good impression of Xiao Qing was just that the other party had sensed some of her thoughts and had taken the initiative to offer her the emotional value that could fill the void.

In a strange environment, it’s better than nothing to have someone who understands you and proactively gives you what you want.

So later, when she found out that Xiao Qing’s lies were one after another, Péi Wanyi also felt that it was no big deal and chose to forgive her.

All of Xiao Qing’s lies stemmed from her low self-esteem.

She had no parents and had been moving between orphanages and various relief stations since she was a child. She had not been able to get a good education and was even signed into a contract of indenture by a black-hearted boss. For seven years, she had not received a penny of salary. Her only compensation was a staff dormitory and three meals a day.

But she had a very sensitive heart. She knew how to read people’s expressions, was good at observing others, and analyzing their needs.

Relying on this skill, she worked late at night as a game booster and companion, and also earned some subsidies that could be used for living expenses.

Later, she would spend ninety percent of every penny she earned on buying some completely impractical gifts for Péi Wanyi.
—Like a bouquet of ninety-nine red roses.

Péi Wanyi could feel her vibrant and pure love at all times.

So every time a lie came to light, shocked, absurd, and unbelievable, Péi Wanyi still chose to give her another chance.

A person who lived so hard in this world, who was born with nothing, had already offered her the only and most precious thing she had.

Péi Wanyi could not help but feel pity for her.

But in fact, behind all the pity, under the superficial logic of forgiving her time and time again, how could Péi Wanyi not understand that they were just a bitter and forced entanglement?

Péi Wanyi’s world was too big, and Xiao Qing’s world was too small.

Péi Wanyi would go anywhere at any time, leaving behind her burdens for her own future.

And Xiao Qing, because she was unintentionally involved in a money laundering case, was forced to have a criminal record and could not even leave this city.

One thing after another constantly reminded them both what a mismatched couple they were.

So before Péi Wanyi could realize it, her scrutiny of this relationship had already left a mark on Xiao Qing’s heart.

The seed of low self-esteem and sensitivity was watered with the spring of loss and fear, and it bloomed into a black and crazy flower.

She lost control day by day, becoming more and more hysterical step by step.

And it also finally made Péi Wanyi understand that her repeated forgiveness was just a kind of unwillingness to let go.

In the end, it ended in such a tragic way.

But even so, Péi Wanyi would not want to deny what Xiao Qing had given her.

It was something very pure, without any material conditions, without any external incentives.

On the night they met, Li Yuqing was of course not the first person to approach her.

In the corners of the city’s nightlife, there were too many colors of people coming and going. Beautiful skins were full of temptation. All it took was a glass of wine, a whisper, a meeting of the eyes.

But only Li Yuqing gave her a glass of warm water and asked shyly and timidly,
“Are you not feeling well? Drinking some hot water will make you feel better.”

Later, Péi Wanyi also thought it was a bit funny. So her loneliness was so obvious in some people’s eyes.

She had thought she was already invincible.
—Except for not having had an orgasm, she could be called perfect.

But Péi Wanyi had long since stopped caring about this small flaw.

Most of the time, s*x was not a high-frequency necessity for her.

Whether she was single or had a stable partner, Péi Wanyi would not spend a lot of time on this matter.

Sometimes when her partner was too clingy, she would also unceremoniously set a “schedule,” precise to the hour of the week, with clear differences between weekdays and weekends.

But when she was really busy, this schedule was useless. She might suddenly fly to another country on a business trip and not be seen for ten days or half a month.

So over time, it was already very rare for Péi Wanyi to have one or two releases a week. Half a month of celibacy was even more common.

In this rhythm of life, the necessity of an orgasm was already minimal.

Jiang Yanlin was very skeptical about this.

“The way you say it, it’s as if I’m the one pulling you into debauchery every day.”

The two of them had a temporary truce, and they were lying in bed, chatting peacefully.

There was no way around it. After Miss Péi had said those words, how could Jiang Yanlin still have the heart to do it?

It would make her seem like some kind of pervert.

Péi Wanyi was lying on her side, her fingers playing with her hair. After talking about these trivial old things, she finally felt that the confrontation from a moment ago had slowly settled down.

She enjoyed this rare moment of peace.

Hearing Jiang Yanlin’s sarcasm, Péi Wanyi looked at her and let out a laugh.

“Doesn’t Miss Jiang think she’s very debauched?”

Jiang Yanlin didn’t even blink. “I don’t think so.”

She could be single for a long time. That was the biggest proof.

Péi Wanyi didn’t argue with her. The facts, they both should have some idea.
—Those dozens of hours, no one had called for a stop.

Jiang Yanlin looked at her face. The distance was so close, yet it was surprisingly free of that flammable atmosphere.

She was a bit grateful that Péi Wanyi had still used this way to calm herself down.

Otherwise, if it had continued, Jiang Yanlin didn’t know what she would have done.

Péi Wanyi was really a person who could easily arouse her desire.

Whether it was s*x, or something deeper than that.

Those aspects that she had not exposed in front of Xiao You, or even in front of Qining, but when facing Péi Wanyi, she had repeatedly stepped on the edge of losing control.

Saike had observed Jiang Yanlin for a period of time before asking with some caution,
“Jiang Yanlin, do you ever vent your emotions?”

Saike was a very sharp person. Except for being briefly blinded by Han Xu, she was usually spot on.

Just like how she had figured out that Han Xu’s goal was a green card at the fastest speed, she also somewhat saw through the master-servant relationship between Jiang Yanlin and Han Xu that Jiang Yanlin had never mentioned.

And Jiang Yanlin’s emotional stability in front of her friends, many people just saw it as her calm and detached personality and didn’t analyze it too much.

Only Saike didn’t think so.

But Saike was a very measured person. She would never casually pry into other people’s privacy, let alone rashly say some things that crossed the line and were unpleasant.

This was also one of her survival skills.

Saike knew that even if she didn’t say it directly, Jiang Yanlin would understand.

Jiang Yanlin also understood that her kind reminder was because her own state was very abnormal during that period.

And her abnormality was usually manifested in an overly normal state.

After last Christmas, Jiang Yanlin finally made up her mind to quit drinking.

Lin Xiaoqi thought it was a good thing. Although she couldn’t do it herself, it was good for her friend to drink less.

But Saike seemed to have guessed a bit of the reason. She sent Jiang Yanlin a few bottles of her treasured wine with a note:
“See these wines? If you want to drink them next Christmas, then open them.”

Jiang Yanlin was a bit surprised by her insight, and also moved by her silent thoughtfulness.
—So there was really someone who could understand how much she hated Christmas in her most normal state.

The first time she had a get-together with Saike and the others was last Christmas.

Lin Xiaoqi hadn’t been back to China for three years for various reasons, and Saike was a mama’s girl. No matter how hard it was to buy a ticket, she had to go home for the New Year and stay with her mother for ten days or half a month before leaving.

Everyone chose a time when they were free, and finally settled on Christmas.

A friend from afar, what a joy.

Jiang Yanlin and Saike tacitly formed a united front and ganged up on Lin Xiaoqi, who was only two minutes late, getting her drunk.

So later, Lin Xiaoqi was completely oblivious.

“Your hair color is really nice. It’s like the senior I had a crush on in my freshman year. She also had this kind of blue.”

Saike touched Jiang Yanlin’s recently dyed hair, a very low-saturation hazy blue.

Jiang Yanlin leaned on her naturally, letting her touch her as she pleased.

After getting drunk, her body, which was allergic to alcohol, had already started to turn red, burning with a fever.

Saike keenly sensed her gaze, the empty background under those flowing eyes.

So she asked softly, “Jiang Yanlin, are you still sober?”

Jiang Yanlin didn’t want to be sober.

She just felt that it was very cold outside and very warm here, so she didn’t want to move, didn’t want to let go.

Saike asked again,
“Were those two guys just now looking for you?”

Jiang Yanlin thought for a long time before replying casually,
“I don’t remember. Maybe I asked them both out at the same time and they ran into each other.”

Coincidentally, those two knew each other. The scene was a bit awkward for a while.

Jiang Yanlin pretended not to know them without any pressure.

There were too many invitations for Christmas. It was also common to accept them casually and then forget about them.

But she didn’t care if they would be angry.

They were just tools, one batch after another, not worth the time to fix.

Jiang Yanlin also no longer remembered when she had become so utilitarian.

Was it because she couldn’t escape the hustle and bustle, so she went with the flow?

Or did she also want to see to what extent these empty people could make a fool of themselves?

“I also deleted a Thai guy yesterday.”

Jiang Yanlin leaned on Saike, boneless, and laughed lazily.

“He couldn’t hide his intentions at all and thought he could PUA me. I just wanted to see how stupid he could be, but it turned out to be just that.”

As she spoke, she felt a little dizzy and took a moment to suppress the churning feeling.

Saike looked at her silently and only spoke after a long time,
“You’ve been over-exerting yourself lately. This will only make you more tired.”

Work that couldn’t be stopped, games and gatherings that were squeezed in, and the endless variety of relationships. She was running on a treadmill, as if she wouldn’t stop until she had squeezed out every last minute of her time.

Many of her friends couldn’t see it, and even her close friend Lin Xiaoqi didn’t realize there was a problem.

But Saike looked at her and felt that she was looking at a person who had pushed herself to the limit.

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

Under the influence of alcohol, she also spoke without any roundaboutness.

“You obviously don’t like doing these things. You don’t even remember these people’s names. Why are you wasting your time?”

The drunk person didn’t seem to take these words too seriously.

It was as if she was really just having fun with those ill-intentioned people.

But after that, until the end of the party, Jiang Yanlin never leaned on Saike again.

The day after Christmas, the friends were on a video call, chatting and planning their next drinking session.