Chapter 2: The Guardian’s Dilemma

The Protector’s Dilemma

My aunt, who had gone to retrieve the cake, returned with not just the cake box, but also her arms laden with various other items. Declaring that these would undoubtedly be needed in the future, she set down a medley of household goods, and as we ate, she regaled us with various anecdotes.

“Jaeseong, the educational facilities at the center are only available to middle school students and older. Until then, it will be a bit troublesome, but you’ll have to commute by car every day. Since you’re currently the only Guide commuting from the center to a regular school, the center will arrange a separate vehicle for your transportation.”

“It’s fine. I’ll handle that myself; just process the transfer paperwork.”

I had already formulated a plan, which prompted my suggestion, but Aunt immediately bristled.

“What? Handle what yourself? Why do you keep saying ‘it’s fine’ since earlier? Are you trying to brush it off again because it’s not ‘your’ problem?”

“It’s not like that.”

“You seem to have forgotten, but don’t you remember that meeting?”

“You don’t need to worry; I remember.”

“You remember, and yet you act like this? Nothing has changed just because you’ve become a guardian. You still need to be careful.”

“I know that too.”

“Besides, Jaeseong is still young, so if things go well, that person might more easily—”

“Aunt.”

My aunt, who had been speaking in an increasingly agitated voice, clamped her mouth shut upon seeing my stern expression.

“Watch your words in front of the child. This isn’t a conversation for here.”

“…Hah. Right, I apologize. I think I got a bit carried away.”

Having calmed herself, Aunt offered an awkward smile.

“I’ll take them.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll take them to school.”

“Who?”

“I will.”

“……”

“Why? Is something wrong?”

A brief silence settled over the dining table.

“W-wait a minute.”

‘You? You, you mean?’ Aunt pointed at me with her index finger, asking several times until I responded.

“I’ve said it multiple times. I’ll take them.”

“Then, for the return trip?”

“I’ll pick them up.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am. I’ll take them and pick them up.”

“Every day?”

“Yes.”

A silence slightly longer than before lingered. Aunt, who had been staring at me, mouth agape as if dumbfounded, suddenly burst into laughter.

“Ah, right. Junseo, you’re an Esper too, aren’t you? I completely forgot for a moment.”

“What about it?”

“What else? Esper overprotection.”

The obsession Espers held for their Guides was, needless to say, severe. So sensitive were Espers to their Guide’s condition that even the slightest dip in mood would immediately trigger their anxiety, prompting them to try and stay as close to their Guide as possible, by any means necessary. In severe cases, they would become anxious and even suffer from depression if they didn’t know their Guide’s every move—where they were, who they were with, and what they were doing. Consequently, an Esper’s possessiveness towards their own Guide was extraordinary. They constantly regarded anyone close to their Guide with suspicion, regardless of gender or age, and this vigilance was especially intense towards neighbors and acquaintances they frequently encountered.

While I fully understood the implications of my aunt’s recent words, knowing full well the truth behind them, my decision was made from the perspective of a ‘guardian’ and ‘ward,’ not an ‘Esper’ and a ‘Guide.’

“So, don’t misunderstand; it’s not for that reason. It’s simply because I’m reluctant to leave the child with strangers.”

“As if.”

Aunt snorted derisively.

“Think what you like.”

“Anyway, I’ll make arrangements so they can start next Monday.”

“Okay.”

“The relationship will probably be listed as ‘relative.’ Although the legal documents identify you as the proxy, given the circumstances, I think we’ll have to disclose your involvement. It seems the principal and homeroom teacher will need to know, so what do you say?”

“I don’t care. Do that.”

It was an unavoidable measure to send the child to a regular school. Even if my identity as an Esper guardian were revealed, it wouldn’t matter as long as the child’s status as a Guide remained undisclosed.

After that, Aunt continued to elaborate on the residence’s entry procedures, rules, security, and safety. The continuous stream of uninteresting and tedious information began to irritate even me, yet, surprisingly, the child listened intently, their eyes sparkling with interest at Aunt’s words.

“Then, since you have an inspection next Monday, drop Jaeseong off at school and then stop by the center.”

“Understood.”

“And regarding Jaeseong’s Guide education,”

The conversation, which should have concluded, unnecessarily dragged on. The unfamiliar phrase ‘Guide education’ was something I had always believed would never concern me throughout my life, yet today alone, I had heard it for the seventh time.

“There are still several years left.”

“Yes, I know. But even so, shouldn’t they have some basic knowledge?”

“There’s no need to know yet.”

“Then let’s at least move up the education. As you know, they can receive it as soon as they enter the center’s facilities. You also know there’s no need to wait until they reach a certain age.”

“That discussion is over.”

I spoke with deliberate firmness. Though I had reiterated my stance multiple times since deciding to bring the child here, Aunt remained stubborn. This very morning, she had even called, citing the circumstances of other Guides, to push for Jaeseong’s Guide education to begin a year or two earlier. Yet, on this matter, my decision was unwavering.

“Still, Junseo. Jaeseong will eventually—”

“Enough.”

As the lightness gradually vanished from the dining table, the child glanced at me nervously, hunching their shoulders. But as always, this repetitive conversation wasn’t about to end quickly.

“What about you? You need to think about yourself too. It’s a miracle you’ve held out this long. How much longer do you plan to wait? What will you do if you go berserk?”

“I told you to stop.”

“Why do you keep telling me to stop? Aren’t you thinking about your parents who worry about you? Do you think your older brother and sister are just sitting idly by, at peace? You know they’re both worried.”

“Hah, Aunt. Let’s talk about this later, please.”

“Later when? You never properly tell me anything.”

“Just stop it.”

As was typical, a minor argument erupted, and our lowered voices gradually began to rise. These quarrels with Aunt were a regular occurrence. Consequently, we acted without concession, completely forgetting there was someone else present, when suddenly—

CLANG—

“Ah….”

The object held in a small hand clattered to the floor. The one who had noisily dropped the fork wore a face filled with terror.

“Hah….”

‘Adults, arguing in front of a child.’ I let out a short sigh, thinking how pathetic it was. At that, an even greater fear crept into the already terrified face.

“S-sorry…”

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. And we agreed you wouldn’t say that.”

Reaching for the fork on the floor, I directed my words at Aunt.

“Aunt, go now.”

“What?”

“You’re disrupting dinner, so go.”

“Hey, you really—”

“Or save that conversation for later.”

Aunt let out a deep sigh and shook her head, as if giving up. Then, to soothe the frightened child, she deliberately changed the subject. While Aunt spoke of other things, I placed the dropped fork into the sink and retrieved another from a napkin pouch. I immediately handed the child a new fork, but their already sluggish attempts at eating grew even slower. Eventually, their slender fingers dropped limply below the table.

“Oh dear. Are you already finished eating?”

‘Nod.’

“Didn’t it taste good…? But a chef made it…. Then, have this instead.”

Aunt picked up some fruit from afar and offered it to the child. However, the child merely stared at it, making no move to eat it.

“It’s fine, give me that.”

The cake box Aunt had brought bore the logo of a rather famous bakery. From my one or two experiences, it was quite good, but also exceedingly sweet. Opening the thin cardboard box, I found various slices of cake nestled inside. After removing the transparent case and paper band, I offered one to the child, who carefully reached out with a small hand.

“Jaeseong, how is it? It’s delicious, isn’t it?”

Aunt asked, her voice brimming with expectation. Yet, in response to her question, the child merely gave a lukewarm nod, offering no other reply.

“Why? Is it not good?”

Aunt asked several more times after that, but I felt no curiosity. There was no need to. Because I could tell immediately, without asking. That tickling sensation I had felt earlier washed over me once again. The child’s small happiness. It was a new joy I, who was dull to emotions, had come to realize.

Aunt remained for quite some time after that before finally leaving. After inspecting the child’s room and going through all their belongings, she had caused a fuss about going shopping immediately. I barely managed to persuade her to go tomorrow morning before she finally returned to the research facility.

While the child went to brush their teeth, I briefly went to my room to change clothes. Outside the open window, the sun was slowly setting.

“Hah….”

‘This is driving me crazy.’

From the outset, I had no confidence that I, who had never dealt with a child in my entire life, could properly fulfill the role of a ‘guardian.’ While it was undeniably my legal obligation under civil law to provide support, I still didn’t precisely understand what it meant to look after someone’s daily life. Material assistance was already not an issue, and I believed I could gradually figure out emotional support, but there was just one thing— The immediate pressing issue was ‘conversation.’

It was troublesome enough that there were no topics to discuss when we were alone, but the child flinched with a terrified expression every time I spoke to them. Moreover, for me, someone who hadn’t been affectionate since birth, suddenly adopting a gentle tone now was almost impossible.

‘I wish I could read minds, like Hanseo Hyung.’ I wondered what went on inside a child’s mind. Feeling someone’s emotions didn’t mean I could read their thoughts, so figuring out what to do each time the child’s mood changed, given how different they were from me, was a truly perplexing problem.

‘For now, I’ll think about it later.’ I postponed my ‘homework’ and went back to the living room. The child, seeing me, startled and quickly rose from their seat.

“Sit.”

No sooner had I spoken than the child immediately sat back down on the sofa.

‘Perhaps I should have told them to just stay seated.’ I regretted yet another verbal misstep, the number of which I could no longer count today.

“It might be uncomfortable at first, but with time, you’ll get used to this life.”

The words I directed at the child were, in truth, also meant for myself. For I, too, had to live a new life in this unfamiliar place.

****

The Pair Residence.

Located right next to the Center, this was a living space provided free of charge by the Center for Espers and Guides who had completed their matching. While its proximity to the Center was an advantage, it was not particularly welcomed by Espers who disliked interference in their private lives. Thus, despite being free, Espers, who were rarely in need of money, seldom chose to move in. Nevertheless, its security was superior to any other place, and with various amenities like a gym, swimming pool, and salon, it was considered a suitable place for newly matched Espers and Guides to stay initially. Perhaps for this reason, it was often used by young Espers who had just come of age and were building their careers, or by foreign Espers and Guides temporarily visiting Korea.

Despite its proximity to the Center, I had my own space, far superior to this one. Though there was no compelling reason for me, someone who disliked interference, to stay here, I agreed to move in because negotiations with the Center were necessary to bring the child.

In exchange for granting me custody of the child, the government imposed several conditions:

The child must utilize the educational facilities within the Center upon becoming a middle school student.

The child must receive ‘Guide education’ twice a week upon reaching fifteen years of age.

The child must register as a ‘Mate’ upon reaching adulthood.

And,

Live at the Pair Residence until that day comes.

When I was told the absurd reason for the last condition was due to the ‘Guide Protection Act’ and the ‘Youth Protection Act,’ all I could do was let out a hollow laugh. Regardless, I had no choice but to accept the Center’s conditions. And from today, I would live here as this child’s ‘guardian’ until they turned twenty.

The child sat quietly on the sofa, fidgeting with their fingers. Their eyes, as they sat awkwardly, were slightly unfocused.

‘Are they sleepy?’

“Are you sleepy?”

“No.”

No sooner had the child uttered the word than they slowly blinked and yawned.

“If you’re sleepy, go inside and sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“…Alright.”

“Um….”

The child, whose lips had been parting as if to say something, spoke in a hushed, almost inaudible voice.

“Can I… watch TV?”

“You don’t need to ask about things like that.”

I handed the child the remote control, which was on one side.

“You can do anything you want in the house. As long as it’s not dangerous.”

“Okay.”

“You don’t need to get my permission for every little thing.”

“Okay.”

“And if you need anything, tell me. I’m telling you in advance, because I won’t know unless you tell me.”

‘Because I’m so oblivious, I can’t even look after my close family, let alone people around me.’ ‘No, rather than oblivious, I’m indifferent.’ It had been like that since childhood. Though I grew up with affectionate parents, I was always quiet and unusually oblivious to my surroundings. I wasn’t interested enough in others to even remember the name of the person sitting next to me, and naturally, I never developed a keen awareness of my surroundings. And I simply grew up that way. Perhaps my family, who knew my personality so well, should have stopped me before this situation arose, but at the time, no one could easily tell me no. Because this child was my Guide.