Chapter 13: A Hand Reaching Out in the Downpour

“…Get it together.”

Nothing would be solved by sitting still.
Seonyul turned on the phone he’d been gripping tightly and entered the Premon app.

He had to explain the situation to BraveSeal777.
That he had nowhere to record this much material, that he would need to issue a refund.
That he would repay the money somehow, so please give him a little time.

[This account has been suspended for violating Premon policy.
Reason for suspension: Inducing direct payment.]

“Ah, f*ck…”

The account was suspended.
When he entered the chat with BraveSeal777, a notice appeared saying messages could not be sent.

Could things really go this wrong?
Seonyul bit down on his already-cold lower lip until he tasted blood.

“Ah!”

Come to think of it, at the end they hadn’t been talking through Premon but through private messages.
Giving out his personal number to avoid commission fees had violated policy, but his body and mind felt so heavy he hadn’t connected the dots right away.
Seonyul opened the messenger app and entered the chat with “Yeon Seungju.”

[I’m sorry. Due to personal circumstances, I won’t be able to do the recording.
However, an urgent expense came up, so I’m unable to refund you immediately.
If you give me a little time, I promise I’ll return the money.
I’m truly sorry.]

Not long after sending the long message, the “1” disappeared, showing it had been read.
But no reply came for quite some time.
He might think I’m a scammer.

After all, I asked if he had more work, canceled within hours, and now I can’t even refund him.
He’d be justified in thinking that.

[Yeon Seungju: I don’t know what happened… but I can wait until you record it…]

A timid message arrived, saying he wanted the recording rather than a refund.
No matter how he looked at it, this person was too kind.

How could he say that without knowing when the recording would ever happen?
Seonyul stared at the message with a bitter expression, then impulsively typed.

“From now on…”

[From now on, I don’t plan to do voice acting.]

When was the first time he’d wanted to become a voice actor?
Seonyul remembered reading fairy tales to his younger brother Unyul every night.

Unyul would pat his chest with tiny hands and say, “When you read, it makes my chest go zing.”
Whenever they listened to TV or radio, Unyul always added, “Your voice is better,” or, “I could listen to you talk for a hundred hours and not get bored.”

Their mother would laugh and say, “Our Seonyul should become a voice actor when he grows up.”

Like an idiot, maybe he thought that if he didn’t give up and kept trying, he could regain that happiness— the three of them lying on the bed, laughing together.

Not realizing it was a dream beyond his station.
Not knowing how to tell what was possible from what wasn’t.

‘Let’s stop now.’

The more he clung to it, the deeper he felt himself sinking.
The rainwater rising up to his ankles on the vinyl floor felt like it was choking off his air.

The whole world was telling him to stop, begging him to stop— and yet he kept throwing himself into the fire.
It was time to quit being stupid.

Bzzz.
Bzzz.

His phone vibrated.
Thinking it might be the landlord, he checked—but it was an unknown number.
Seonyul rejected the call.

Bzzz.
Bzzz.
Bzzz.

The same number called again.
He rejected it once more, but the caller didn’t give up.
Finally, Seonyul brought the phone to his ear.

“……”

Neither Seonyul nor the other person spoke.
Only the sound of rain echoed in the silence.
A prank call?
Now, of all times?

If there was a god, Seonyul wanted to scream and ask what he had done so wrong.
Was trying to live honestly really such a grave sin?

He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff.
His face twisted in agony.

“This is enough already…
Please… just leave me alone.
Hngh…”

Tears poured out of Seonyul’s eyes— from someone who had always endured hardship without breaking.
When he began to sob out loud, a flustered male voice stammered through the receiver.

– V-Voice Actor… sir…?

Only then did Seonyul flinch.
Being called “Voice Actor” suggested someone from the industry.
But the emotions that had burst like a broken dam refused to settle.

“Hngh, what did I… what did I do wrong… ugh…”

– C-calm down, s-sorry… w-what should I do…

“Hnghh…”

– P-please don’t cry…

The man on the other end spoke awkwardly, stumbling over his words.

Yet it was clear he was trying to comfort him, and that only made the bitterness worse.
Seonyul clutched the phone and cried it all out.

“……”

– ……

After a long while, Seonyul’s breathing finally steadied.
Once again, silence fell between them.

In that quiet, embarrassment crept in.
Crying his eyes out to a complete stranger— it was a first in his life.

“Um… who are you—”

– A-are you really going to stop being a voice actor?

Seonyul had opened his mouth first to break the awkwardness, but the other man’s voice overlapped his, slightly louder.
Realizing who it was, Seonyul’s face burned.

The person who had listened to his sobbing without understanding why was none other than BraveSeal777.

“…Yes.”

– W-why?

“Because it’s hard.”

– B-but quitting… y-you can’t.

BraveSeal777 spoke haltingly, yet firmly.

Who are you to tell me I can’t, when I’m the one struggling?

What do you even know?

The surge of emotion threatened to bring tears again.

“That has nothing to do with you… I’ll repay the money, so don’t worry.”

– T-that won’t work…

“My place flooded. My laptop, my mic—everything’s ruined.
I don’t have anywhere to go, or any money right now.
My family keeps needing money, I have loan payments, and because of my damn personality I keep getting fired from part-time jobs.
The one place I finally get hired has a pervert manager, and— I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this, but I finally realized I’m just a f*cking idiot who chased dreams without facing reality.
Is that enough for you?”

Spilling out the truth in a burst of anger only made him feel more miserable.
What the hell am I doing?

Lashing out at someone completely unrelated— someone who’d lost two million won because of him.
The shame and guilt made him want to disappear.

– Y-you don’t have anywhere to go?

“…That was a slip of the tongue. Please don’t mind it.”

– O-our house is really big…

– There are lots of rooms…

What was this person even saying?
When Seonyul didn’t respond, BraveSeal777 added softly,

– There’s plenty of food too…

Still no reaction, so he hurriedly backtracked.

– O-of course!
– I’m not saying just come live here…
– Y-you can come and read the script…
– A business trip!
– It’s a business trip, so there’ll be a trip fee too…!

“Ha, that’s enough.
I’m hanging up.”

– F-five hundred a month.
– Room and board included…?

“I said stop.”

Just as expected, BraveSeal777 was a rich pushover.
Inviting a complete stranger into his home without understanding how dangerous the world was.
Seonyul wanted to scold him for being so careless, but swallowed the urge, knowing it wasn’t his place.

– T-then what should I do?
– If you’re not here…
– I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to sleep.
– I really can’t do without you anymore…!

“Find someone else.
Honestly, I’m not that special.”

– You are!

“……”

– You really are…

BraveSeal777’s voice trembled as it came through the speaker.

‘What… is this?’

Listening to him, it almost felt like he was some legendary voice actor.
Seonyul felt awkward and flustered, yet something strange stirred deep in his chest.

“…Cough, cough.”

– G-gasp.
– Y-you can’t catch a cold…!
– C-come quickly.
– Our place is warm.
– I should turn the boiler on…

Why was he holding on this desperately?
There were countless people better than him in the world.
He was skilled for his experience level, sure, but not the best.
His voice was pleasant, but not extraordinary.
What on earth did this man see in him?

“…What area are you in?”

Was it normal to want to lean on someone whose face you’d never seen?
Maybe he’d lost his mind from the cold.

Even as he asked, Seonyul mocked himself.
Please don’t be close.
Please.

– S-Seoul.
– Hannam-dong…

“…I’ll stay just one night.”

It was close.
His body and mind were too exhausted to refuse the kindness right in front of him.

Seonyul forced his battered body to move.

Maybe from crying so hard, his head throbbed with dizziness.

He wrapped the electronics that might still work if dried in towels and stuffed them into his bag.

Grabbing a long black umbrella, he stepped out of the dark rooftop room.