Chapter 32: The List I Never Saw

“Ah, Ian…”

Lee Juju blinked.

Then, staring at the hallway where Ian had vanished in a flash, he awkwardly lowered the hand he had raised.

He was about to greet him.

But the moment their eyes met, Ian disappeared as if blown away by the wind.

Even during Guiding, Ian no longer clung to him like before, as if desperate to squeeze out even one more second.

It was certainly a relief that his perception of Guiding had changed, but still, it stung a little.

‘Well… the purpose of Guiding is to regulate an esper’s body, after all.’

He had never expected special treatment.

But ignoring a greeting entirely was a bit much, wasn’t it?

They weren’t business acquaintances who exchanged Guiding while fiddling with their phones and parted with a nod.

For an entire month, he had prayed don’t explode, don’t die while guiding them, his espers.

‘My espers? What nonsense.’

With a faintly sulky expression, Lee Juju shrugged at the empty corridor.

It was said that an esper’s nature was to cling and pester in hopes of finding a personal guide like everyone else.

But in truth, the moment that personal guide appeared, they would change their tune entirely, as if they had never fawned before.

So it was understandable that guides no longer seemed so extraordinary to them.

It was wiser to think of it as a good thing.

He couldn’t entertain the flirting of espers forever.

And there weren’t just one or two of them, there were thirty-three.

Ah, with Sierra joining, that made thirty-four now?

Only a handful maintained the same attitude as before.

The military doctor, Michael, was one of the few.

“You’re here?”

“Yes.”

Without even lifting his eyes from the supply ledger he was organizing, Michael greeted him.

Lee Juju stepped into the warm infirmary and removed his thick coat.

The coat had arrived at the colonel’s office the morning before.

Captain Russell had personally checked the measurements and had it tailored, so it fit Lee Juju perfectly and was wonderfully warm.

Though different in design from the espers’ uniforms, it was made of the same material and highly practical.

Black, so dirt wouldn’t show easily.

Light like a hooded zip-up, making it easy to wear often.

He didn’t know who had sent it…

A faint smile tugged at Lee Juju’s lips.

‘As if I don’t know.’

Captain Russell was practically Colonel Shan’s adjutant.

Though Lee Juju had argued with Colonel Shan recently about whether or not he would participate in combat, their relationship remained reasonably good.

Lieutenant Colonel Miles had taken it upon himself to mediate with his usual sly manner, and Colonel Shan had consistently looked after Lee Juju’s safety.

Thoughtful consideration could melt even the coldest tension.

The colonel accepting Sierra fell into a similar category.

Only afterward did Lee Juju wonder whether it had truly been wise to insert an outsider into such a rigidly hierarchical unit.

But he couldn’t send Sierra away after exposing him to Guiding.

Erasing his memory or threatening him into silence had been options.

But once an esper had entered his sight, pitiful and helpless, forgetting him was nearly impossible.

It would be better to keep him close and care for him than to live with guilt forever.

The ten new members Lieutenant Colonel Miles planned to bring would begin receiving Guiding in a week.

At the same time, Miles had questioned Sierra extensively about his abilities and suggested that they might create synergy with Colonel Shan.

If Colonel Shan, who controlled space, combined his power with Sierra, who controlled shadows, they might be able to conceal the entire base within shadow.

As the number of espers receiving Guiding increased, word of a guide’s existence would inevitably spread.

If the base’s location were exposed, espers would swarm like madmen.

Better to hide it beforehand.

Lee Juju nodded without hesitation.

He was already nearing his limit.

And the espers Miles would bring needed Guiding from the outset.

He couldn’t increase his management load further.

Still, it was manageable.

The number of espers hadn’t even reached triple digits.

Before the time regression, guiding three a day had been routine.

This was nothing.

If anything, he should be grateful to be living this safely in a place where he had crash-landed.

Most of all, in order to investigate the facility, now confirmed to be a Gate, and potentially return to his original timeline, it was convenient to remain stationed nearby.

He hadn’t visited it yet, but he was considering choosing a day off soon to examine it.

Though truthfully, he didn’t believe returning was really possible.

Lost in old memories for the first time in a while, drowsiness crept over him.

“You brat.”

A cold can of coffee pressed against his cheek.

Blinking, he realized he had been nodding off.

“If you’re going to sleep, go inside and sleep. Don’t sit there dozing and being distracting.”

“I’m not…”

He mumbled, rubbing his heavy eyes.

He ate three meals a day and slept well, so why was he this tired?

‘Did time travel strain my body?’

But that had been two months ago.

Maybe it was just the warmth of the infirmary against the bitter cold outside.

When he smiled faintly, Michael clicked his tongue and returned to his seat.

“Juju-nim!”

Sierra visited faithfully.

Five kilometers wasn’t exactly close, yet she arrived without fail.

Under her short pink hair rested matching pink eyes.

She had corrected the habit of calling him “Master,” but her sharp, ringing tone remained.

Everyone inside the infirmary surely heard her.

Sure enough, Michael flinched and glanced up.

Lee Juju greeted Sierra with a faint smile.

“What brings you here?”

“I missed you. Sniff. I want to come every day, but training’s tougher than I thought. It’s hard to find time.”

Sniffling, Sierra dragged a chair close to sit beside him.

The frantic anxiety, that Lee Juju might abandon her, or that Lee Juju himself might disappear, had melted away.

Sierra pulled her chair even closer and began chattering about trivial events from training.

Since manifesting at thirteen, she had believed she would never have days like this.

It was all thanks to her master.

Lee Juju rested his chin on one hand and listened.

His gaze, however, drifted somewhere past Sierra.

Which allowed Sierra to hide the yearning burning in her eyes.

She was unbearably curious where those eyes were directed.

At the same time, the urge to kill whoever occupied Lee Juju’s thoughts rose violently.

It had to be that man.

She wished it weren’t.

She wished Lee Juju would think only of her.

Look only at her.

Possessiveness and monopolizing desire filled Sierra’s gaze as it traced Lee Juju’s face.

“Sierra?”

“Yes?”

When the chattering suddenly stopped, Lee Juju looked at her again.

Sierra’s face was bright and innocent, as usual.

“Oh, right. I had something I wanted to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Did you put your name on the Gate subjugation list too?”

“…Gate subjugation list?”

Lee Juju frowned.

He was hearing this for the first time.

****

Sierra briefly explained the list for the Gate Suppression Operation, open to anyone who wished to participate.

For some reason, she kept rubbing the back of her neck.

“They said at least fifteen people have to volunteer. Sierra’s new, so I can’t skip out. It’s so unfair.”

She stuck out his tongue playfully.

Lee Juju had been silent, mind racing.

Sierra grabbed his arm and pleaded.

“Won’t you come with us, Juju-nim? I’ll make sure you’re not bored! Since the colonel and lieutenant colonel will be there too, there won’t be anyone at the base to keep you company!”

“Ahem.”

“…Michael-nim is old, so he’s no fun! Right, Juju-nim?”

“That’s not the point….”

He had never heard of any Gate suppression list.

When had this even been created?

Michael hadn’t mentioned it.

Neither had the espers who came daily for Guiding.

‘Don’t tell me…’