Chapter 46: Responsibilities of Affection

“…….”

Kwon Yunhwan, the man who stayed by the side of an amnesiac fool and willingly endured every hardship for him, filled Seonghye’s empty mind to the brim.

Standing still, Seonghye slowly clutched his own chest. A sentence that had been pacing around a corner of his heart for a long time—debating when to emerge—finally parted his lips and flowed out smoothly.

“Is it… because of the imprint?”

In his obsidian-like eyes, the clear sincerity toward the person he cherished was revealed without reservation.

“It bothers me when you talk to others, I feel anxious when you’re not by my side, and it’s sometimes sorrowful that you know a past I can’t remember as if it’s common knowledge. The doctor says this is because of the imprint, but as for me…”

He bit his lip, cutting himself off. His toes twitched as if they might spring toward Yunhwan at any second.

“You are growing larger and larger inside of me. An imprint is the desire to swallow the other person whole, but what I want for you… is to dry up fragrantly by your side.”

He wanted to embrace the solitude Yunhwan must have felt in this silent place for so long, to unravel the isolation of the man left like a lonely island, and to share warmth for a long time.

At times, he felt slighted by Yunhwan’s inability to read his heart, but then he reminded himself that it was he who had invaded Yunhwan’s quiet life. Seonghye gave a small nod as if convincing himself.

“You probably don’t know this. Desire comes with a reason, but affection comes with a responsibility.”

“…….”

“I want to return that responsibility to you.”

The man who had been thrown into the world with everything erased found his life entangled with a partner he met like destiny. Even before realizing he was an Alpha, the imprint formed, shifting the center of his life and causing him to pour unrealistic desires and irrational needs onto Yunhwan multiple times.

After several trials and errors, he realized: emotions carved through force and coercion could evoke nothing more than pity from the other person.

To stay by Yunhwan’s side for a long time and leave a deep scent, he had to approach with the right temperature and pour out high-purity affection. To do that, he had to suppress his self-destructive desires and let a fresh, green sincerity sprout over them. While tidying those feelings that grew crooked several times a day, the sun would set and morning would return. Seonghye’s daily life drifted away helplessly because of this one person who was always in his sight.

Standing still within Yunhwan’s scenery and the air he breathed, Seonghye whispered instinctively.

“…Wake up.”

“…Mmm.”

As if in response, Yunhwan tossed and turned. Even in sleep, his shirt was buttoned to the top of his neck. Seonghye’s gaze fixed on those meticulously fastened buttons. His voice took on a sharper edge.

“Usually you’re sensitive enough to wake up instantly. Why can’t you do that today?”

In his clear, wide eyes, a cloudy, murky emotion toward Yunhwan bloomed. It wasn’t hate or resentment. It was the disappointment felt while looking at the line clearly drawn toward him.

As Seonghye watched Yunhwan with an even deeper gaze, Yunhwan, his face buried in the pillow, slowly shook his head from side to side. Seeing the movement, Seonghye’s brow narrowed cautiously.

“…Mmm….”

He had banished the bothersome heat, yet Yunhwan’s sleeping expression did not look peaceful.

As Yunhwan’s head tucked further inward, his closed lips parted. What slipped through that stiff mouth was a pained groan—something Seonghye had never heard before.

Seonghye’s eyes wavered.

“…Kwon Yunhwan.”

Yunhwan’s fingertips, twitching unnaturally, caught Seonghye’s attention. Seonghye called him again.

“Hyung.”

Usually, Yunhwan would have slowly opened his eyes at a voice heard so close, but today he remained trapped, tossing and turning in his bed.

“…….”

Seonghye, who had been watching from the doorway, straightened his posture. Walking closer to the messy bedding, he saw Yunhwan curled up like a child. Seonghye reached out and turned Yunhwan’s hidden face toward him. Intermittent breaths were being drawn past lips turned pale. His expression was worse. He looked as though he were struggling, trapped deep in the sea, unable to speak or breathe.

Seeing this, the corners of Seonghye’s mouth dropped.

“Why….”

Yunhwan’s neat features distorted in Seonghye’s hands, eventually collapsing helplessly. How intricate was the trap of this nightmare that he couldn’t escape? Seonghye bit his lip as he watched Yunhwan struggle.

If he could, he wanted to scoop out all the water from the deep abyss Yunhwan had fallen into.

Burying his forehead against Yunhwan’s and taking a deep breath, Seonghye slowly laid down beside him. He reached out and embraced the broad back. When Yunhwan, soaked in sweat, naturally buried himself in Seonghye’s firm chest, damp spots began to stain Seonghye’s shirt. Seonghye held him even tighter.

He murmured calmly.

“You must be having a nightmare.”

His fingers traveled steadily along Yunhwan’s spine.

“A dream is just a dream.”

He whispered into Yunhwan’s ear as if offering comfort.

“I told you before, didn’t I? The past has no power. Dreams are the same, Hyung.”

Seonghye gazed intently at Yunhwan, focusing on the sound of his breath. His lips were still flickering, but no voice came up through his vocal cords. It seemed the nightmare still held him fast.

“Hyung.”

“…….”

He added strength to his voice.

“If you see a door, open it and come out. If you see a cliff, don’t hesitate and jump. I’ll catch you. I’ll hold you so you don’t get hurt.”

Seonghye’s voice, telling him it was merely a dream, flowed incessantly into Yunhwan’s ear.

“So wake up. Wake up and look at me.”

When he placed his fingers just below Yunhwan’s nose, the breathing was steadier than before. A soft curve formed on Seonghye’s lips.

The incantation-like encouragement didn’t stop there. Seonghye wiped Yunhwan’s damp forehead with the back of his hand and pressed a small kiss to his trembling eyelashes. Escape the illusion tormenting you, follow my voice, and come out of there quickly—the man whispered again.

It was a dream.

Whenever he was about to forget, whenever life felt livable, the dream came like a punishment. He thought it had been quiet since he started looking after Seonghye in Sanghee-ri, but it seemed he was mistaken. He realized that because he lived clutching a past patched together like rags, his state was more obvious. Otherwise, it couldn’t haunt him as a nightmare every time.

In the dream, Yunhwan was running. Everything around him was chaos. He was the only one left alive in a living hell being bombarded from all sides. Every breath sent pain through his airway into his entire body.

Then, hands belonging to God-knows-who began to cling to his body. When he closed and opened his eyes, there was one; he blinked again, and there were two, until finally, hands were plastered all over him. Just as Yunhwan shook his head violently—

‘…jump. I’ll… hold you.’

Someone called him. A strange sense of déjà vu filled Yunhwan’s face. A familiar voice was flowing from somewhere. His pace as he kicked off the ground began to quicken again.

‘Quickly… run. Over here… hurry.’

In the cave of the nightmare where things bit and were bitten, slivers of light began to shine through. The grotesque hands that had been clinging like leeches fell off one by one. Ignoring the screams of destruction spreading behind him, he ran until a door appeared.

I have to go out through there.

Following his five senses, his sixth sense screamed. Yunhwan pushed the door with all his might. Finally, light exploded everywhere.

When Yunhwan opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a white snowy field. The door he had opened in his dream was a blinding white, and the world he saw upon waking was just as white.

For Yunhwan, who usually woke up from nightmares of rising flames or being buried in ruins, this entire situation was simply foreign.

It was possible to wake up like this.

“…….”

Moreover, the surroundings were quiet, the air was cool, and the scent lingering at the tip of his nose was refreshing.

‘…Refreshing?’

Yunhwan blinked slowly. Could his room, which didn’t have a single diffuser, be refreshing? Yet, it was a scent that wasn’t unfamiliar. Just as Yunhwan’s expression began to pull into a frown—

A familiar voice came from above his head.

“Did you sleep well?”

The voice asking was quite tender. Yunhwan, whose eyes were still blurry with sleep, closed his dry eyelids and pushed them back open with effort. Then, the thing he thought was a snowy field moved. As if it were breathing in and out…

“…!”

At that moment, Yunhwan’s pupils dilated and looked up. No sooner had his brown eyes moved up than black, ink-like pupils caught them. His gaze collided with Seonghye’s, as if the latter had been waiting.

Seonghye lowered his head to match Yunhwan’s eye level.

“My room doesn’t have an air conditioner.”

“So… you slept here?”

“It was so hot I took refuge in this room and just happened to fall asleep.”

He replied while fingering the collar of Yunhwan’s disheveled shirt. While Yunhwan gaped like a fool, Seonghye casually shrugged his shoulders.

“You were having a rough sleep in the middle of it, so I even gave you some encouragement.”