Chapter 17: Leopard Print and Lingering Scents

“……”

Jia set down the beer can she had been drinking from, then leaned to the side, peering into the gift box Do-ha held.

Hyun-woo, Do-ha, and Jia were inseparable best friends, despite any squabbles. This was Hyun-woo’s gift for Do-ha, who had recently been heartbroken over losing his lucky charm.

It was a luxuriously wrapped gift box.

Receiving a thoughtful gift always brought a pleasant feeling.

Do-ha untied the neatly tied ribbon and, with a heart full of anticipation, opened the box. Yet, he uttered no words.

“Puhahaha. This is seriously amazing.”

Instead of the frozen Do-ha, Jia reached into the box, pulled out its contents, and burst into loud laughter, practically rolling on the floor.

The day Do-ha had injured his hand, he had cried as he threw out every leopard print item in his house. Do-ha believed they were all gone, but Jia had collected them in a large bag, stashing them where he wouldn’t find them.

Since then, leopard print had become something never to be spoken of, seen, or even suggested.

And yet, Hyun-woo had brought a leopard print handkerchief as a gift.

“Do you want to die? Just die. Let’s die together.”

Jia’s laughter seemed to be the signal. Do-ha, who had been utterly rigid until that moment, suddenly shot up from his seat and lunged at Hyun-woo, who instinctively pulled the charging Do-ha into an embrace.

“You bastard, let go! I said let go!”

Do-ha had been the one to charge first, but as Hyun-woo embraced him happily and they tumbled to the floor, Do-ha began shouting to be released again. Observing the scene, Jia calmly picked up the empty beer can from the floor and set it on the table.

“If I see this pattern again, I swear I’ll kill you all.”

After tumbling with Do-ha for a long while, Hyun-woo finally released him. Do-ha, having barely escaped his embrace, smoothed his disheveled hair and issued a stern threat, but Hyun-woo and Jia couldn’t stop their laughter.

****

“Ugh, you two are such a pain. Just eat what’s here. Who ever heard of not drinking just because of a cut finger?”

Do-ha first grabbed a hangover remedy and placed it in his basket. Knowing how much Hyun-woo and Jia could eat, he had bought plenty, but ultimately, it was up to the sober Do-ha to buy more snacks.

“Just eat what you’re given, stop complaining about snacks.”

He swept up his favorite dried squid, peanuts, and even almonds. As he left the convenience store, laden with heavy plastic bags, Do-ha’s steps gradually slowed, then stopped entirely.

Standing before the elevator were two people Do-ha recognized.

Their backs were turned, dressed in the exact same outfits they had worn earlier that day.

Too naturally, Tae-jun’s arm was draped around Hye-jin’s shoulder, while her arm was clasped around his waist.

They appeared to be embracing tenderly, yet it seemed more as if Tae-jun was leaning heavily into Hye-jin. With one hand, Hye-jin gently brushed back Tae-jun’s tousled hair.

Do-ha turned his head, spotting a man reflected in the convenience store window. The couple seemed lost in their own world, oblivious to anyone else.

His knees-out sweatpants, his hood pulled up over his head, and a shabby black padded jacket made for a dismal sight. A limp plastic bag dangled from his right hand, and he wore slippers on his bare feet.

He wiggled his exposed toes, feeling a sudden, inexplicable chill.

A cold winter breeze brushed past him, yet he couldn’t tear his gaze from his reflection in the glass. He had been fine seeing Tae-jun and Hye-jin at the office, but now an inexplicable wave of sadness washed over him.

As Jia had said, whether it was a crush, love, or just liking someone, he had never experienced the gnawing anxiety of thinking about someone, nor had he ever spent a sleepless night lost in thought.

Watching Jia meet and break up with people, he had merely offered comforting words, never truly grasping why anyone would suffer and weep over such fragile, fleeting emotions.

Everyone offered the same platitudes: ‘It’ll be okay,’ ‘Time heals all wounds,’ ‘You’ll find someone better.’

What a hypocritical lie it was. Nothing felt better, nor did the pain diminish.

The weight of the items caused the thin plastic bag to dig painfully into his fingers. His fingertips, peeking out from his sleeves, were flushed red from the cold, yet it was his heart, inexplicably, that truly ached.

After they ascended, Do-ha leaned against a lobby pillar near the convenience store, crouching down to wait for the elevator. He let out a small sigh.

Even though it was indoors, the vast space wasn’t heated. He saw his breath emerge in white puffs, so he blew another one.

The white mist rose, then gradually blurred and dispersed into the distance, somehow feeling poignant.

No matter how deeply he pondered, this reality remained utterly incomprehensible.

He just liked Tae-jun.

If asked if it was because he was handsome, well, Tae-jun was handsome, but Hyun-woo was also quite good-looking.

If asked if he was kind, it was quite the opposite.

If asked if it was physical, he could only give a hollow laugh. Since Tae-jun was the only one he’d been intimate with, he couldn’t compare.

He just liked him.

From the first moment he saw him, drunk and dazed amidst the club’s pulsing lights, his heart had pounded a frantic rhythm.

Even before he had approached him, before he had yearned to be held in that broad chest.

At first, he thought that since he liked Tae-jun, Tae-jun would naturally like him back. He imagined if he confessed, Tae-jun would reciprocate, and they would become close.

Even when his impulsive confession was met with a cold, stark refusal, he had felt nothing at all.

The true agony, however, began the moment he denied his own feelings. When he definitively learned Tae-jun had a partner, the realization struck him: he had to suppress, diminish, and utterly eradicate the emotions that had grown far larger than he’d ever anticipated.

The pain had arrived then, sharp and relentless.

Even as he laughed and chatted with Jia, or talked with Hyun-woo, his chest ached. An inexplicable lump would rise in his throat, and his eyes would well up at random times, prompting him to gaze at the sky more often than not.

Liking someone was such a painful thing, he couldn’t understand why everyone liked and fell in love.

“This hurts too much. I want to stop, but I can’t control it.”

“That’s because you don’t know. You don’t know how sweet that feeling is, the one that hurts you to death. Unrequited love is so miserable, painful, and sad, but reciprocated love is so thrilling and happy that people just go for it.”

“How much more do I have to hurt?”

“Until you meet someone new? Or, you hurt and hurt and hurt until you’re exhausted, then it gets better. So, you’ll hurt a little longer.”

Do-ha suddenly felt all the blood in his body turn cold and chill him to the bone. He wrapped his arms around himself.

As he recalled the conversation he’d had with Jia while drunkenly crying, a hollow laugh escaped him, and he raised a hand to cover his mouth.

He heard the sharp click-clack of footsteps echoing in the quiet lobby, and his vision blurred. He blinked several times.

Only after the footsteps and the sound of the elevator doors opening and closing faded did Do-ha slowly rise from his spot. If he was too late, he’d have to endure Jia and Hyun-woo’s nagging…

Shaking his head, filled with aimless, unnecessary thoughts, Do-ha walked around the pillar and headed for the elevator.

“Do-ha, hello?”

Hye-jin’s bright voice, still nestled in Tae-jun’s arms, rang in his ears.

“Hello.”

With nowhere else to hide, Do-ha bowed politely and slowly approached them. As he drew closer, the strong scent of alcohol grew more potent.

Unlike Hye-jin, who smiled at him, Tae-jun, leaning heavily on her, didn’t even lift his head.

“It’s truly a relief to have run into you here. Tae-jun is so heavy, and I was struggling alone. Do-ha, could you possibly lend a hand?”

Unable to either refuse or accept, Do-ha moved to Hye-jin’s other side, carefully lifting Tae-jun’s limp arm and draping it around his own neck.

“He doesn’t usually get this drunk, sigh. Today is really something.”

“……”

Tae-jun’s uncontrolled pheromones, uninhibited by his heavy drunkenness, wafted over Do-ha’s nose. The potent scent, like standing in the heart of a blooming plum orchard, forced Do-ha to hold his breath for a moment.

The heavy weight pressing on his shoulder, the warm heat emanating from him, completely enveloped Do-ha’s recently chilled body.

With each step he took, supporting Tae-jun, a heavy sensation would momentarily lighten, only to return. He had to suppress the urge to pull him closer every time he felt even a slight distance between them.

Following Hye-jin, who had naturally used Tae-jun’s hand for fingerprint recognition on the door lock, Do-ha entered his home.

It was only after following them into his bedroom, a room he had visited once before, that Do-ha finally managed to free himself from Tae-jun’s embrace. He watched blankly as Hye-jin gently settled him onto the bed.

Unlike them, who had removed their shoes, Tae-jun still wore his. Hye-jin’s actions—removing his shoes, his socks, and loosening the tie that cinched his neck—were starkly visible to Do-ha.

Feeling as though he were illicitly witnessing something he shouldn’t, Do-ha hastily exited the bedroom.

From behind him, he heard Tae-jun’s low, muffled voice, speaking something he couldn’t quite discern, followed by Hye-jin’s.

‘What are they talking about?’

The heavy plastic bag in his right hand was clenched so tightly that the rustling sound of the plastic felt unusually loud.

The light, which had briefly brightened with their movement, faded, leaving Do-ha enveloped in darkness. He slowly looked around, lamenting that he hadn’t taken a better look last time.

He felt pathetic for having been so flustered and desperate to escape the place then.

Even without consciously trying, the faint plum blossom scent permeated the air with every breath, making Do-ha bite his lower lip tightly.

All his senses felt acutely alive, vibrating. Scenes he had painstakingly tried to forget, tried not to intentionally recall, surged back into his mind.

His lower abdomen had burned with an intense heat, his body, steeped in the plum blossom scent from head to toe, had been entwined with hot breaths, thrashing wildly within him.

“Whew. This is hard, so hard. Do-ha, would you like a cool glass of water too?”

The illusion floating before him vanished. Suddenly, Hye-jin, who had emerged from the bedroom, opened the refrigerator and took out water as if in her own home.

At that moment, Do-ha hastily bowed his head.

He didn’t want to remain in this space. He absolutely did not want Hye-jin to discover his feelings for Tae-jun. He couldn’t be discovered. If she knew what he had been recalling, what he had been thinking while standing there…

“I’ll be going.”

“Do-ha is an Omega, and I’m an Alpha. It’s quite interesting, isn’t it?”

Do-ha, who had been hastily putting on his shoes by the front door, without even lifting his head or waiting for Hye-jin’s reply, suddenly froze.

“Let’s go out together. I truly despise Alpha pheromones.”

“What?”

“Didn’t you know? That I’m an Alpha? We don’t openly discuss secondary genders, but one can usually sense it instinctively, right?”

“Manager, I don’t understand what you’re saying at all right now…”

Led out of Tae-jun’s house by Hye-jin, Do-ha stared blankly up at her.

“Do-ha, have you ever died?”

What a sudden, inexplicable question. Do-ha yearned to chug all the alcohol he held, to become completely insensible and think of nothing at all.