Chapter 18: Forbidden Reach

The school organized graduation photos. Yun Zhixue’s position was changed several times, eventually moved to the last row among the girls.

She slowly realized that she seemed to have grown a little taller.

She wanted to tell Meng Zhenyue. As soon as this name surfaced, a kind of growing pain surged through her body at that moment. It felt as if her bones were being pulled by an invisible force, about to transform.

She desperately wanted to be enveloped in Meng Zhenyue’s tightest embrace. Yet, she liked this change. After the photos were taken, the school administrators specifically asked about her recent situation. Yun Zhixue just nodded in response.

During class, the security guard at the gatehouse informed her that a woman had come looking for her. However, after the previous incident, the school’s management had become very strict, and they hadn’t let the person in.

Yun Zhixue went to the school gate immediately after class. The person who came looking for her wasn’t Meng Zhenyue. She didn’t know that woman.

The woman was slender, with a broken forehead covered by a medicated cotton pad, shouting something. Yun Zhixue didn’t dare get close, taking a step back.

The security guard asked, “Do you know her?”

Yun Zhixue shook her head. “I don’t know her.”

The security guard immediately shooed the woman away. Even as Yun Zhixue walked further away, she could still hear the woman shouting. She glanced back once. The woman looked terrifying in her breakdown state. Yun Zhixue quickly ran off.

There was a practice exam in the afternoon. She hadn’t done well on the last one, so her mood grew heavy. Not entirely confident she had done okay this time either, she walked back to the dormitory with her head down.

She reached out to touch the door lock, about to push it open.

Yun Zhixue’s sense of smell was acute. Instantly, instantly, she caught a faint, familiar scent. Her body seemed to swell up.

Meng Zhenyue stood quietly on the balcony. The setting sun’s afterglow gilded the edges of her blue dress with fiery gold. In Yun Zhixue’s eyes, there was only her and the dusk.

The door closed silently behind her. She tiptoed closer, eager light dancing in her eyes, unspoken joy pressed between her lips.

She had intended to blend in the other’s space as silently as air, but a trembling question escaped her first. “How did you get here?”

Meng Zhenyue turned slightly, her voice gentle. “Work was exhausting, and I didn’t want to go out in the sun. I thought of you and came.”

Yun Zhixue let out a very soft, very soft “Mm.”

“Wasn’t there an exam? Wanted to see how you did.” Meng Zhenyue turned fully around. “I came over in the afternoon and took a nap. It’s quite peaceful here, and the air is nice.”

The air conditioning was on in the room, raising goosebumps on Yun Zhixue’s skin. She said, “Wait for me a moment.”

Meng Zhenyue had just turned, preparing to have dinner with her, when Yun Zhixue dashed out. Her speed was incredible, she was gone in a blink.

Meng Zhenyue leaned on the railing with both hands, watching. Down below, the student athletes were still running laps. The young girl was running faster than them.

‘So much energy, sweetheart.’

On the way, Yun Zhixue bumped into Chi Rushu. Chi Rushu asked her, “Did your mom come?”

Yun Zhixue was surprised. “How do you know everything?”

Chi Rushu was about to reply when Yun Zhixue simply vanished from sight. Chi Rushu raised an eyebrow. “Whenever your mom comes, you get all excited…”

About ten minutes later, Meng Zhenyue had just finished a phone call when the door was pushed open from outside. Yun Zhixue entered carrying a bag.

The weather was hot, and the young girl was sweating profusely from running. Meng Zhenyue asked, “What did you buy? I brought you some food.”

Yun Zhixue was still catching her breath as she reached her side, her face flushed from the last of the sun’s rays. “Ice cream and soda, and sugar-free coffee. Iced. You… you can drink it.”

Meng Zhenyue looked at her in surprise.

Yun Zhixue tucked the damp strand of hair clinging to her cheek behind her ear, then handed the items over. “You always drink something cold after your nap… The fridge only had the milk you bought for me.”

“Mm, to wake up.”

Meng Zhenyue took the bottle of orange soda, her fingers touching the condensation on the glass. “Go wash your face.”

Yun Zhixue obediently went to get a towel. Meng Zhenyue leaned against the sofa, asking questions one by one as if conducting an inspection. “Have you been eating properly?”

“Yes.”

“Have you been biting your fingers?”

Her answer became unclear.

Meng Zhenyue inserted a straw and took a sip. “Come here.”

Her face washed, clean and fair. Meng Zhenyue curled her fingers and flicked Yun Zhixue’s forehead once. “Go eat.”

Yun Zhixue didn’t feel humiliated; instead, she smiled, pressing her lips together as she unpacked the food containers. On the milky white
marble dining table were stacked several books and a trophy.

The base was engraved with the words “Gold Award – Physics Competition.” On the topmost certificate of honor, the three characters “Yun Zhixue” were written with elegant, forceful strokes.

A few weeks ago, this table held the suicide note she had written. Now, it was filled with honor. Pride swelled in Meng Zhenyue’s heart as she admired it, picking it up to look. “You’re amazing.”

Yun Zhixue asked, “Do you want it?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ll give it to you.” Yun Zhixue’s voice was soft.

Meng Zhenyue smiled. “… This is your honor. You should keep it yourself.”

Yun Zhixue drank her corn and pork rib soup, her spoon trembling slightly. She said quietly, “… I just… wanted to give it to you… You’re my mom.”

Meng Zhenyue held the somewhat weighty trophy and took a sip of orange soda. “Alright then, I won’t stand on ceremony. I’ll put it on my desk at work from now on, okay?”

“Okay.”

She glanced at the watch on her wrist. She moved the watch face slightly; the snowflakes inside floated.

After getting used to it, telling time didn’t feel troublesome anymore.

Yun Zhixue had a physics experiment scheduled for the evening.

After dinner, Yun Zhixue hurriedly ran to the laboratory. She tried negotiating with the lab assistant to let her in early to start the experiment. The assistant refused; the equipment inside was quite expensive, and they insisted on waiting for the teacher to open up.

She felt so regretful. If she had known, she would have stayed in the dorm with Meng Zhenyue. Being half an hour late wouldn’t have mattered.

Her phone vibrated – Keep going, my dear.

Yun Zhixue’s arm trembled.

The experiment took quite a while. A few students couldn’t get their data right and had to make repeated adjustments. Yun Zhixue grew anxious too. She sent Meng Zhenyue a message, but Meng Zhenyue didn’t reply.

So anxious that she couldn’t cope anymore, she walked over to that group. She took the instrument from their hands and performed the procedure once herself, very fluently, producing a perfectly accurate data strip.

The students in the group were stunned for a few seconds before offering a dry and stiff, “thank you.”

Returning ten minutes late, Yun Zhixue was enveloped in low pressure atmosphere. Facing the deliberate greetings from those girls, she just turned away coldly. It was their fault she was late getting out.

The night was thick as ink, and the street lamps cast a pale, ghostly light. She stood at the dormitory door, sniffing the air like a little dog. Soon, her pitch-black eyes suddenly lit up.

Meng Zhenyue was asleep on that sofa. One hand rested over her eyes, the other lay on her waist. Her eyes were closed. On the table sat a newly bought box of late-night snacks.

Yun Zhixue slowly approached. For the first time, her gaze crossed a boundary. From her usual fixation on fingers, it climbed upward, finally settling on Meng Zhenyue’s lips. Her fingertips tightened unconsciously around the edge of her textbook. A secret longing rose in her throat.

She hadn’t woken; she was sleeping soundly. Dust motes in the air formed a hazy, almost fluid shimmer. The interplay of light and shadow danced over Meng Zhenyue’s eyelashes, as if whispering: “Come a little closer.”

Yun Zhixue stared at the moonlight streaming in.

It slanted down from the distant sky, like an opportunity granted by heaven. She shifted from a half-squat into a kneeling position, using the cover of light and shadow to gaze at that face. This person had cooked congee for her, taken her temperature. Now, her steady breathing made one want to disrupt it.

Meng Zhenyue’s eyes were closed, her face slightly turned. There was a kind of warmth rising from her. Yun Zhixue tried hard not to look, yet her gaze kept drifting back to her again and again.

“Mom…”

The word “Mom” was a beautiful one. It allowed one to bask in a woman’s strength and sacred tenderness, yet also to hold her like an intimate lover, using closeness to fill a place of quiet emptiness.

Love grew in the darkness, overwhelming and all-consuming, wrapping tightly around her.

Things a mother has done, why can’t I?

‘I should kiss her.’

Her back tensed, like a broken frame barely holding together scattered pieces, on the verge of collapsing entirely onto Meng Zhenyue. So dear, so gentle, such a good mother, so deeply loved.

Yun Zhixue braced her hands on either side above her, slowly lowering her head, inch by inch… She brought her lips down.

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