Chapter 30: A Night Beneath the Rain

“Of course it hurts! You’re only realizing that now? Don’t tell me you acted that rough because you truly didn’t know!”

Fria gaped at him in disbelief while Owen cautiously leaned his waist back, watching her expression. Honestly, the man was like a damned overgrown child.

“I appreciate the consideration, Your Majesty, but I believe preserving your imperial body should take priority right now. Besides, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

“Really?”

At Owen’s gentle question, Fria forced the corners of his mouth upward into a strained smile.

‘Yes, really. So hurry up already!’

After much coaxing and reassurance, they resumed, only to immediately hit another obstacle.

“It hurts.”

Owen looked close to tears, his eyes like an abandoned puppy’s. Damn him. The one who truly wanted to cry from pain was Fria.

“Just… just do it. Please.”

“It hurts.”

I want to punch him.

Fria’s patience finally snapped, and he shoved the emperor away.

“I definitely put it here…”

Climbing down from the bed, Fria hurriedly opened drawers and tossed their contents onto the floor. The item couldn’t have grown legs and walked away, and Judith had only recently organized everything, so it had to be here somewhere.

There.

Even the pouch looked suspiciously decadent. Fria carefully examined the small glass bottle he retrieved from the red velvet bag. A necessity for imperial consorts, sent by his sisters-in-law: scented oil.

He had never imagined he’d willingly use something like this himself.

Returning to the bed with a determined expression, Fria broke the seal on the bottle. The moment the floral scent spread through the room, Owen identified it immediately.

“Jasmine… and lavender too.”

That is not the important part right now.

Fria shot him a glare before tilting the bottle again, pouring generous amounts of the slick liquid onto both hands.

This should be enough.

“Come here, Your Majesty.”

Seeing Owen hesitate as though silently asking permission, Fria clicked his tongue and beckoned provocatively toward the younger man.

****

What was this?

For a brief instant, sparks burst before Fria’s eyes. A sensation shot through his entire body so suddenly that even he could not comprehend it.

‘What… was that?’

“Does it hurt?”

Owen stopped moving immediately, carefully studying Fria’s expression.

Still dazed, Fria shook his head and tightened his grip on Owen’s shoulders.

“Does it hurt?”

Though it was obvious he himself was struggling to endure, Owen patiently asked again, waiting for Fria’s answer.

“…No. No, it doesn’t.”

Moving slowly, Owen continued watching Fria’s face.

For some reason, he simply did not want the man in his arms to be in pain.

‘Why are you staring at me like that?’

The straightforward intensity of Owen’s gaze made Fria’s face heat up. The emperor before him now felt stranger than the man from their very first night together.

Sensations Fria himself had never known began awakening inside him. Something strange unfurled along his spine. His breathing grew ragged, his limbs moved on their own, as though trapped beneath deep water.

Everything was different from every previous coupling he had known.

Had the emperor’s body always felt like this?

Had he always worn expressions like these?

Overwhelmed by embarrassment, Fria squeezed his eyes shut. Above him, Owen reached out and gently cupped his cheek.

“Do you hate me?”

“…”

“Do you hate me?”

‘I hate you.’

Fria hated the emperor. He always had.

If anyone asked, he should have been able to answer instantly without hesitation.

And yet now, no words came.

“I…”

Before Fria could answer, Owen spoke instead.

“I don’t hate you.”

Fria’s eyes widened at the unexpected confession.

“I…”

Wearing the expression of a wounded young beast, Owen continued softly.

“I’m afraid of you.”

‘Afraid?’

Could it be he was mistaking Fria for someone else? Perhaps all this unfamiliar gentleness had never truly been meant for him in the first place. The thought brought a bitter smile to Fria’s lips.

“I’m afraid of you.”

Hearing the repeated words, Fria asked quietly,

“Why are you afraid of me?”

“Because of you… I might lose everything.”

Because he might become exactly like his father and throw everything away.

Owen gazed at the beautiful face resting in his arms.

Perhaps the answer was not truly meant for him. Still, Fria replied with complete sincerity.

“You won’t lose anything because of me, Your Majesty.”

That much, at least, he could promise with certainty.

I could never take anything from you.

When the time came, he would simply leave quietly.

Trying to steady his drifting consciousness, Fria curled his fingers tighter. At some point, his arms had wrapped around Owen’s bare back. Owen caught Fria’s sweat-slick wrists and gently guided them higher onto his shoulders.

Breathing hard, Owen chased the unfamiliar sensations like a young man experiencing intimacy for the very first time.

The man beneath him was drawing him deeper and deeper into an endless abyss.

Could he go farther still?

Pleasure surged over him like crashing waves, flashing before his eyes like lightning. Trembling, Owen clutched Fria’s limp body tightly against his own.

Sweat dampened his forehead as he looked down at Fria with quiet eyes. One large hand brushed aside the strands of hair covering Fria’s brow.

‘Who are you looking at?’

There was no way such warm eyes and gentle touches could truly be directed at him. Somewhere, surely, there existed another owner of that gaze.

A dull ache spread through Fria’s chest.

Sleeping with an emperor out of his mind had apparently infected him as well, right down to his thoughts.

By morning, once the drug wore off, the emperor would return to treating him coldly. As always, he would cast Fria a look of contempt before leaving the bedchamber without another glance back.

Did he even know Fria’s name?

That was what Fria suddenly wanted to know.

The emperor’s name was Owen. Fria had known it long before leaving the duchy. There had once been a night when he stared at the portrait of the young emperor sent by an envoy and softly whispered aloud:

“Owen.”

He had been frail since birth. Fria once overheard his nursemaid screaming that without her medicine, the young master would have died before the age of three, while Gir condemned her for poisoning a child.

“Nursemaid, what’s a witch?”

When Fria asked while she dressed him in his nightclothes, the elderly woman embraced his small body and wept.

“You mustn’t say such cruel things. Young master, you trust this nursemaid, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I only wanted you to live even one day longer.”

“Nursemaid, don’t cry. Fria was wrong.”

It was only years after her death, once Fria became Gir’s assistant, that he learned the truth: the medicine he had consumed since infancy was poison that disrupted his nervous system.

“Listen carefully, Fria. I managed to neutralize much of it, but I could never remove the toxicity entirely. Your seizures are proof of that. If you wish to live even a little longer in relative health, you must continue enduring difficult treatment. Your body is unlike others. Outwardly you may appear fine, but inside, your body is slowly dying. Living longer is not always a blessing. What matters is how meaningfully you live.”

“Am I going to die?”

“Everyone dies eventually. Some die fighting for their beliefs despite being perfectly healthy. Time will become both your enemy and your ally. You may think me cruel for telling you this, but I want you to live your life without regret. Knowing beforehand allows you to prepare.”

“When will I die?”

“I can keep you stable for another ten years at least. After your twenty-fifth birthday… we’ll discuss the rest then.”

There was not much time left until that twenty-fifth birthday.

Perhaps he would never see the flowers return with the changing seasons again.

Would the emperor remember him by morning, after forgetting this entire night?

The fact that he found that thought disappointing startled even himself.

“About my request…”

As soon as Fria spoke, Owen looked down at him warmly.

“You probably won’t remember any of this, Your Majesty. Honestly… it would probably be better if you forgot tonight entirely.”

Because it’s embarrassing.

After mumbling the final words quietly, he continued.

“But I hope you’ll at least remember this. My name is…”

“Fria.”

At hearing his own name fall from the emperor’s lips, Fria blinked in disbelief.

“Fria.”

Even his voice sounded gentle.

It felt too false to be real.

Fria… Fria… Fria…

Listening to the whispered repetition near his ear, Fria slowly closed his eyes.

As Fria drifted into sleep, Owen lowered his head and pressed a feather-light kiss against the man’s pale forehead.

Outside, the rain pounding against the windows gradually subsided, and somewhere in the distance came the cries of birds welcoming the coming dawn.

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