Chapter 9: Cold Wine and Warm Pasta

Maybe it was because his hyung was in a better mood than before. The pheromones that had settled naturally into the house were so gentle that it almost felt impossible to be uncomfortable.

Each time he noticed Sijin’s pheromones, Haejun was extra careful not to let his own leak out. He even thought about sneaking an extra suppressant later without his hyung knowing. For now, Sijin’s Alpha pheromones were barely noticeable, but if he kept being exposed to them like this, his instincts might make him pour out his own pheromones too.

It had already been three weeks since they met again, but Haejun still hadn’t confessed his secondary gender to him. There was no time to sit down and talk, and he also couldn’t get those words Sijin had said in the past out of his head.

Was he still uncomfortable with second genders? If so, why did he hide it? He had added that there was no need to know yet because Haejun was young, so it seemed like he meant to tell him someday. But Moon Sijin, whom Haejun met again at twenty, still treated him like a little kid.

Of course, Haejun did still love ice cream, and he did have juice before meals.

His face, which had been savoring the memory of juice delicious enough to make his mouth water, suddenly scrunched up in frustration. Wasn’t that unfair? He only drank it because his hyung had given it to him.

“Something smells good.”

It felt like Sijin had disappeared into the kitchen only a moment ago, but already the steady sound of a knife on the cutting board and the mouthwatering scent of seasoned spices were drifting out. His stomach suddenly felt empty, as if the juice he’d thought would fill him up had done nothing.

The sense of unfairness Haejun had felt just a minute ago was shoved far away by his anticipation for the food about to be set on the table. He could feel the shift himself.

Trying to brush off his embarrassment, he stood up to properly look around the place. Honestly, what he really wanted was to hover around the kitchen where Sijin was, but he reminded himself to be a good listener and forced his feet elsewhere.

Sijin had said he’d been living alone for quite a while.

His home really was like Sijin’s old room had been picked up and placed here. It smelled nice, everything was always in its place, and the little decorative items scattered around revealed his modern taste.

Unlike other spaces, he didn’t mind decorating his own personal space.

Whenever Haejun picked up something that only looked pretty to him on the street, Sijin would ruffle his hair and say, “Haejun brought home another pretty piece of trash,” in a tone that could have been praise or not. Of course, if it was close to actual trash, it went into the bin, and even if it could be used, Sijin would ask Haejun’s permission and then shove it into a corner.

Anyway, Haejun had figured out back then that Moon Sijin was the type to clearly separate his space from other people’s. Not just physical space, but relationships too. Sijin was strict with others and even stricter with himself, and when it came to making friends, he judged whether that person would benefit him. By nature, he pursued practicality and reality, living every year, every month, every day on a plan.

Maybe because he knew his life was exhausting, Sijin had a soft side in unexpected places. It was hard to break through the thick iron wall he put up and touch the emotions hidden inside, but despite his cold-looking exterior, he was actually full of compassion.

Among all the people Moon Sijin ever let into his perfectly planned life, Baek Haejun was the exception. When they first met, Sijin clearly would never have expected that he’d end up caring this much about a kid who looked like a soaking wet stray dog loitering in front of his house.

It really was unusual. Giving kindness to a kid with no blood relation as if he were being led by the nose, and still remembering that even now and trying to dote on him a little more is not something you see every day.

Haejun tilted his head. Even though he was receiving Sijin’s kindness with his whole body, he couldn’t figure out what was going through Sijin’s mind.

“There are pictures of Happy, but no family photos at all.”

While wandering around the house at a relaxed pace, Haejun suddenly noticed something odd. There were photographs of Happy, the Golden Retriever they raised at the family home, framed and on display, but he couldn’t find a single family photo. He could understand the parents, but not having even a picture of his biological brother Hyunjin was a little strange.

Moon Hyunjin.

Haejun’s eyes narrowed as the memories came back.

The door to Hyunjin’s room, right next to Sijin’s, was always half open, so their eyes would meet now and then whenever Haejun passed by. Then he would beckon Haejun over and share some snacks with him. His face was always pale, but when he smiled, he looked so much like Sijin that Haejun remembered they were the same blood from time to time.

He knew Hyunjin was sick. But they had said it wasn’t a disease that would kill him soon. Haejun had even promised to go for walks with Happy with him once he got better. Because Haejun moved away after presenting as an Omega, their connection was cut off, but Hyunjin was not someone stored in Haejun’s memories as a bad memory.

“Haejun, come eat.”

Haejun, who had been standing and reminiscing, snapped back to reality at the sound of his name being called from afar. He tucked the faint memories away again and headed toward the dining room with excited steps.

The dining room was as clean as the rest of the place and connected to the kitchen. Haejun could see Sijin from behind, gathering small plates and forks in the kitchen.

As Haejun was sneaking glances around, his eyes landed on the wine cellar. His face crumpled in discomfort the moment he spotted it. It happened unconsciously, so even Haejun himself didn’t realize what expression he was making.

His hyung wasn’t the type to drink irresponsibly and get drunk like that man. Still, knowing there was something he hated in the house of someone he liked made his attention keep drifting over there.

Food was already set on the table, and Haejun sat down awkwardly. He hesitated for a moment before steeling himself and asking.

“Brother, do you… actually like drinking?”

“Sometimes I have a glass when I cook at home. Why? Do you want some?”

Sijin, holding the tableware, closed the cabinet and turned around. As Haejun had stressed a few times, he was an adult now. Like most people his age, it wouldn’t be strange for him to be curious about alcohol. So it was an ordinary question, but at that moment Sijin saw Haejun’s eyes twitch. That was clearly a sign of discomfort.

His crumpled expression held too much obvious emotion to pass off as worry. Sijin was just about to ask again when Haejun pulled up an awkward smile first and changed the subject.

“How did you make all this so quickly?”

“You get better when you live alone.”

Sijin didn’t know what Haejun was trying to hide, but he didn’t plan to push if Haejun didn’t want to talk yet. So he played along, pretending not to notice.

“If I’d known I’d be bringing you over today, I would have bought ingredients in advance. I had to make do with whatever was here, so I don’t know if it’ll taste good.”

There was a hint of shyness in his smile. Haejun shook his head hard. This food looked better than anything he’d seen in years, and there was no way it wouldn’t taste good.

Just an hour ago, he’d been eating a 3,500-won pork cutlet in a crowded student cafeteria. Now, on the marble table for four, dishes were laid out that he couldn’t even guess the names of. One looked like pasta, and one was a shrimp dish.

A small plate and fork were placed in front of Haejun. Even the utensils looked so elegant they were on a whole other level from the ones in the student cafeteria. Sijin had said his cooking improved because he lived alone, but Haejun could quietly tell from little clues like this that Sijin had always enjoyed cooking.

Then, following the flow of his thoughts, a question popped into his head.

“Do you cook for other people a lot?”

“I don’t like people coming over. You’re the first, Haejun.”

The way Sijin served pasta onto Haejun’s plate was perfectly natural. Haejun’s eyes wavered for a second as he watched Sijin taking care of someone so seamlessly.

Still, if his hyung said he was the first, how could he not believe him? Haejun decided to just take it as a good thing.

Grasping his fork after Sijin, Haejun imitated the motion and twirled the pasta into his mouth. The properly cooked noodles combined with the slightly spicy and rich rosé sauce, melting in his mouth. The way his eyebrows furrowed on their own was full of sincerity.

“So good…”

He knew speaking with food in his mouth was against table manners, but he couldn’t stop himself. Sijin had said this was made in a hurry? Ridiculous. It was less like modesty and more like lying.

“It’s really hard to feed you something good.”

Even though it sounded like a complaint, there was a satisfied smile at the corner of his lips. Sijin watched Haejun, who was busily winding pasta around his fork, with a pleased look in his eyes.

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