Chapter 0: A Slightly Strange Day

Today is definitely strange.

Just think about it.

My mom is actually making use of the useless 24-year-old who spends all day in his room?

It could happen.

Even if that useless person has the fortitude of a man who could survive for 5 seconds even if the Earth were to end, he could still be sent out after receiving a love tap at a speed of 24 m/s, which felt like a love tap, on his back.

Moreover, it is also possible that this mother ordered one carton of eggs and six milks if there was milk, and with a programmer’s mindset, I could have gone to buy only six eggs.

Of course, the moment I return, the demon known as Mom, who has turned red again, will use the skill ‘Extermination Move: Fury Smash Towards a Fire-Type Son’ at 3 times the speed.

Yeah, I get it.

This can definitely happen in everyday life.

But think about it.

The stairs suddenly turn into Stairs.D.Case with a bounty of 398 million Berries and activate the easy-to-slip buff in this midwinter to attack me?

Stairs.D.Case (Slippery, Age Unknown)

“Please die, human.”

Despite that, it would be fine if I could survive with only a great pain in my butt.

Kim Bulbung (King of Unemployed, 24 years old)

“I survived again today~”

Honestly, slipping on the stairs is something that can happen to anyone at least once.

It’s completely understandable.

But this is ridiculous.

A 25-ton, incredibly scary-looking truck that seems to be about to collide is approaching with a driver who has sleepy-looking eyes.

What’s even more absurd is that the truck is approaching as if it wants me to hug it, with both arms open.

Truck (25T, 3 years old)

“Hug me!

Hug me!”

Kim Bulbung (Room-Bound Keyboard Warrior, 24 years old)

“What the heck, get lost, f*ck!”

And next to me, a child who has lost their balloon is running across the crosswalk.

If it keeps going like that, it’ll definitely get hit by the truck.

…Isn’t this just the world forcing me into a truck reincarnation?!

No, no way.

I can’t get hit by a truck.

I still have to see the story of the f*cking blue envelope that’s piled up, pull their cheeks, and become a master of the rhythm game.

And….

F*ck, I have to make sure to format my computer before I die…!

-Thud thud!

I run as fast as I can to save the child.

And I grab the balloon and cross to the next block!

If I can just do this, I can erase that file..!

-Screech—!

….Huh?

What the f*ck.

Why did it stop?

Wasn’t this a world where everything was f*cked up to reincarnate me?

Why is it doing this?!

…By the way, did I forget somethin…

-Slip~!

Ah.

Right.

I was running, wasn’t I?

-Thud-!

“Wor…..ld…..peo….ple….”

“Blo….fount….this….”

With those voices as the end, my consciousness faded away.

But, in the end, a block…?

Please don’t tell me that it’s some ridiculous novel-like story where I hit my forehead on a block and blood gushed out like a fountain, causing my death.

If that’s the case, I think I’ll really kill myself out of shame.

Ah, am I already dead?

“Even if I’m dead, if someone just destroys my computer, it would have been a good life~”

….?

Wait a minute.

Didn’t I die?

Why can I talk?

“…Why am I still alive?”

…And what’s with this f*cked up way of speaking?

As I thought that and opened my eyes, in front of the full-length mirror I was looking at…

“F*ck, if you’re going to reincarnate me, at least keep my gender the same.”

There was only one ‘girl’ with a halo.