Chapter 1 : I am not a Lily

I said I’d flirt with any woman, but unlike my mother, I wasn’t a lesbian.

A “lily,” is it? Not my thing at all.
(TL Note : The name “Lily” for a girl, derived from the flower, signifies purity, beauty, and innocence.)

I just figured if I needed someone to comfort me on lonely nights, a pretty girl was better than some shady guy.

Perhaps it was the influence of being born male in my previous life.
Or maybe I just had an aesthetic preference for beauty.

Whatever the reason, it wasn’t something a virgin who hadn’t even lost her V-card should be bragging about.

I decided to change the subject,
And a perfect opportunity presented itself.

If this world were a work of fiction created by someone,
There was one person who could unequivocally be called the protagonist.

“Wow, amazing, Karen!”
“It’s nothing.”

The girl with light pink hair and pink eyes was always the center of attention.

Pink hair? Classic heroine material.
Her name, Lucia. Even her name radiated brilliance.

Diligent, humble, bright, honest, and kind.

Beautiful, naturally, with a sparkling smile, a cheerful personality, outstanding abilities, and a prominent family. The word “protagonist” fit her perfectly.

She even drew my gaze, someone who usually avoided interacting with others.
That should give you an idea of her magnetic presence.

Ah. Eye contact.

Not with Lucia, but with the girl she was talking to.

I quickly looked away, but the image of Karen frowning, realizing I’d been watching them, lingered in my mind.

That girl couldn’t wait to get her hands on me.

But I wasn’t entirely blameless.
That’s why I kept my mouth shut.

The thought that being hated was the same in this life as it was in my last one made me sigh inwardly.

…
…
…

Who came up with this amazingly brilliant idea of gathering promising young talents from across the continent and making them attend classes as students?

Whoever it was, they were an idiot.

At least as an educator.
As a politician? Well, I don’t know much about politics.

That was my short lament on the reality of the Academy, which had become more of a political tool for nations than a place of learning.

In any case, my existence in such an academy was quite, no, extremely out of place.

Being a commoner without a title or land was fine; there were a few others like me. But a brainless girl with seemingly no abilities or talent being admitted? That was definitely strange.

Perhaps because of that, I was surrounded by nasty rumors.

“Hey, I heard she slept with the chairman.”
“They say she got in by wh*ring herself out.”
“Someone asked her, and she admitted it.”

That kind of rumor.

Lowbrow gossip, but the years had been too harsh for me to be hurt by mere words.

A heart already tattered and torn, what more could a knife do but draw a comment of indifference?

More than that, I was worried about something else. Even if people are the same everywhere, should noble academy students be spreading such filthy rumors?

It was cute how they pretended to whisper, making sure I could hear.

And to tell the truth, the rumors were baseless.

Even though I considered myself a disgusting and loathsome creature, I wasn’t so depraved as to sleep with that potbellied man.

A man, no less. How repulsive.

But no one would believe me.
Nor did I expect them to.

I ignored them, but the chatter showed no signs of stopping. Over time, a few more joined in.

They really had nothing better to do.

Just as I was thinking they were chewing more than their fair share of gum, someone appeared and stopped them.

“What are you talking about?”
“Huh? No, Lady Karen, it’s not…”
“Have you forgotten that within the Academy, all students are equal?”
“Ah. That…”
“I won’t say much. Maintain your decorum. Can you even call yourselves Academy students?”
“…”

The gossipers immediately scattered like roaches exposed to light.

Small fry like them had no chance against the second daughter of the prestigious Pesillid Dukedom.

Equality within the Academy? Bullshit.

If it were truly equal, Karen wouldn’t be called “Lady,” and they wouldn’t be so terrified of her words.

After dismissing everyone, Karen walked straight up to me.

“Come out here for a second.”
“Why?”
“Just come out.”

While she was polite and reasonable with everyone else, she was confrontational only with me. Hardly egalitarian.

I thought cynically, but my facial muscles didn’t betray my thoughts.

And Karen seemed to loathe my expressionless face.

Seeing the disgust in her eyes, I felt a little sorry for her.

As you might’ve guessed from the situation,
She was definitely not a knight in shining armor coming to my rescue.

As I hesitated, she grabbed my arm and practically dragged me out of the classroom.

Ow, you b*tch.

She had no idea how strong her grip was.
Or maybe she didn’t care if my arm was bruised black and blue.

Probably the latter.

Karen dragged me to a deserted corner and then
Released my arm as if tossing me aside.

Her usual cheerful and charming expression was long gone, replaced by
Pure hostility burning in her intelligent eyes.

Karen spoke as if pronouncing a sentence.

“You filthy wh*re.”
“…”

How did she know me so well? I felt like holding up a sign that said “Correct” and doing a pole dance around the academy.

My face remained expressionless, and Karen seemed even more enraged.

“Stop spreading those disgusting rumors.”
“Why?”

I asked out of courtesy.

But I seemed to have poked the lioness in the wrong spot.

The look she gave me was murderous, like she was about to draw her sword and cut me in half.

And,
A part of me thought that such an end wouldn’t be so bad.

Certainly better than dying alone and unnoticed like in my previous life.

I preferred a dramatic, fiery death to shivering and wasting away in the cold.
This new possibility piqued my interest.

Yes, Karen, give me more attention.
Pour all your emotions into burning me alive.
I won’t hold it against you, even if you truly kill me.

Yes,
That would be quite alright.

So, I knew what I had to do.

Provoke.

Feigning sudden realization, I said,
“Is it because of Lucia?”
“Don’t you dare speak her name with your filthy mouth.”

Oh my, a fanatic has arrived.

Our noble Lady Karen was deeply concerned that the dirty rumors surrounding me, words like “wh*re” and “slut,” would reach Lucia’s pure ears.

Well, I was at fault.

Without me, there would be no rumors, no dirty words for Lucia to hear.

“You should know better than anyone.”
“What?”
“Who knows? Maybe She’s worse than me.”

I knew that wasn’t true.

There wasn’t a single person as kind and pure as Lucia, not in this life or the last. One could accuse her of being naive, but never dirty like me.

My own words stung.

I realized that for a filthy wh*re like me to disparage Lucia was nothing more than an expression of jealousy and inferiority.

Despite my outburst, Karen remained silent.

I wasn’t surprised, knowing her personality well.

When her anger reached its peak, she became calm and still, like the sky before a typhoon.

Then, her cheeks flushed, and a sharp slap echoed belatedly.

A ringing filled my ears.

The moment I realized I’d been slapped,
I was deeply disappointed.

That’s it?

“Know your place!”

A slap and a shout? How boring.

What a shame.
She still had enough restraint not to resort to violence.

And how typical of a girl to resort to slapping.
If you’re going to raise your hand, at least use your fist.

If she wanted to inflict pain, she should’ve punched me in the gut.
If she wanted to humiliate me, she should’ve grabbed my hair and forced me to my knees.
If she wanted to shame me, she should’ve insulted me, brought up my jailed adoptive mother.

Ah.
I was overthinking it.

It was obvious how my silence must have appeared to her.

The idiot probably thought I was shocked.

Come to think of it, this was the first time Karen had resorted to physical violence during our long, unpleasant acquaintance.

For a noble knight who championed protecting the weak to strike a girl so thin from hunger… it would cause a social uproar, something Karen herself wouldn’t tolerate.

Trembling as if she’d been the one slapped, Karen left,
Leaving me alone.

Ah.
Now I’m in a bad mood.
I think I’ll go do something fun.