Chapter 1: I don’t like OO intrusion into the lily

Early March, when the cherry blossoms begin to bloom.

Today was the second day since the first day of high school.

As my eyes sparkled, I admired everything that entered my vision.

“Uhe, uhehehe….”

‘I’m glad to be alive…!’

The sense of fulfillment that welled up from the deepest part of me and instantly spread throughout my body.

I desperately managed my facial expression so that a dazed, slack-jawed look wouldn’t surface.

What’s there to hide?

I was a pervert.

No, I am a pervert.

Only when it comes to yuri.

From fresh, pure love stories to romantic comedies, and even extreme works like kidnapping, confinement, dismemberment, and pure? love—if it was yuri, I devoured it all without question.

This hopelessly degenerate b*stard was the essence and identity of the human being that is me.

‘How can I possibly resist the sight of cute girls being all lovey-dovey…!’

It was only natural that tears welled up at the sight of youth personified.

Ah.

I think I’m going to cry.

In a world with no internet or electronic devices, where understanding of the yuri genre itself was extremely scarce,

how on earth had I endured 17 years in such an utterly boring world?

I am being rewarded at this very moment.

At an all-girls’ school…!

The dream-like time passed quickly.

As I dazedly observed the diverse young girls, it was already after school.

Some of them approached and spoke to me, but I politely declined and enjoyed my time alone.

‘Why would I tarnish the yuri?’

‘If I get involved with the young girls, it won’t be yuri anymore…!’

I’m fundamentally a pervert who desperately wants to see girls being lovey-dovey with each other,

but me getting involved?

Not really.

No, it’s not just ‘not really,’ I absolutely hate the idea.

This wasn’t a matter of making others do what I don’t want to do; this was a more fundamental issue.

Because I’m not a girl.

You might ask what’s up with me wearing a girl’s uniform and having hair down to my chin, or if I’m cross-dressing, but of course, that wasn’t it.

Biologically, this body is female.

The problem is that the one inside is male.

I was a man in my previous life, and after dying, I was reborn as a girl.

Yep.

That’s what happened.

And according to my opinion as a yuri purist, I was by no means someone suitable for yuri.

For someone like me to get involved in such relationships with other girls?

The mere thought is utterly disgusting.

More than anything, I pity the other person.

I can’t bear to see them being toyed with by a guy, unknowingly, not even if dirt gets in my eyes.

I returned to the dormitory and closed the door.

Only then could I finally relax the expression I had been managing.

“They’re so pretty, so pretty, so pretty, so pretty, so pretty, so prettyyyyy…!”

‘My heart is pounding.’

‘It’s beating so f*cking hard…!’

‘Is this what it feels like to have been to heaven?’

‘No, even heaven couldn’t compare to this fantastical party of yuri possibilities.’

‘Yep.’

‘How am I going to manage going to school?’

‘My heart is racing so much.’

‘The sight of pretty, fresh young girls gathered and chatting will continue for three whole years?’

‘This is truly more than heaven!’

Ah.

I really feel like crying.

No, I’m already crying.

“Ah, sh*t! I love yuri so much, I really, really love it so much, uhi, he, hehehehe…!”

You have no idea how much I struggled to hold back my silly laughter.

The same goes for my unladylike swearing.

Of course, since I don’t think of myself as a girl, I’m the type who doesn’t mind cursing or acting unladylike, but I can’t go around ruining the yuri-esque atmosphere.

Ugh.

Sh*t.

Curses are coming out.

I feel good enough to curse.

My eyes are being purified.

The top student of the year was pretty.

She was in my class.

There was also a girl who looked like she’d be perfect for an athletic club.

And also….

“Shut up!”

“Whoa, sh*t!”

I’m startled!

‘Was someone here?’

My heart sank with a thud.

It wasn’t so much because someone saw me like this, but more out of concern for how shocked a girl would be to hear such things.

“Just shut your mouth.”

“Phew….”

And just like that, my worries were immediately resolved.

Because the other person was a girl to whom I could show my true self.

“Dana. What are you doing here?”

“…It’s my room.”

To my innocent question, she replied, shooting me a look that said, ‘What kind of idiot are you?’

I nodded my head.

Ah.

Right.

I was sharing a room with her.

A so-called roommate.

It was quite a tenacious bond.

It wouldn’t be wrong to call it an ill-fated relationship.

We’ve been going to the same schools one after another since we were little kids, around five or six years old.

Dana spoke to me admonishingly.

“I thought you’d change a bit after starting high school. Are you still going around with those… strange thoughts?”

“They’re not strange!”

“They are strange.”

‘Strange thoughts? What rude words.’

‘I just want to see pretty girls rubbing their p*ssies together…?’

…I couldn’t bring myself to actually say those words out loud.

And Dana didn’t miss that moment of hesitation.

“It’s disgusting. That weird fetish of yours.”

“Call it a preference….”

“Hmph.”

It felt like I heard some harsh words, but well, it’s Dana.

More importantly, I asked what I was curious about.

“By the way, Dana.”

“What.”

“Why are you here already? What about your friends?”

“Friends?”

“I saw you talking to some girls earlier. Didn’t you become friends?”

“Isn’t it a bit much to call them friends? Just because we exchanged a few words.”

“A-already saying they’re not friends. That’s too lewd….”

“….”

‘Is she a l@sbo queen?’

‘Setting up a scissoring angle just two days into school. What a terrifying child…!’

She’s really scary.

So scary.

I’m so scared of Dana, the environmental destroyer, that my hair is standing on end.

I braved my fear and spoke out boldly.

“Apologize to the polar bears!!!!!!!”

“What are you talking about!”

“Because of the frictional heat from all the scissoring you’ll be doing with students other than me, global warming will come, the glaciers will melt, and the polar bears will lose their habitat… Ah?”

Oh.

‘The fist is close.’

“Guhwaaack-?!”

The moment after I realized the fist was close, I was sent rolling on the floor.

Even though I made the sound, it’s quite a pathetic groan.

‘Guhwaaack’?

I’m not a pig.

More importantly, it hurts.

That b*tch Dana really punched me in the gut with all her might.

I feel like my intestines are going to spill out…!

“Bleeeaaargh-!!”

Ta-da!

What came out wasn’t intestines, but vomit-☆

My childhood friend, Dana, glared at me with icy eyes and then left the room.

Left alone, I clutched my stomach and thought while roughly cleaning up the vomit I had spewed.

‘I always think this, but Dana has a bad habit of using her fists.’

‘She hits at the slightest provocation, threatens, and acts scary.’

‘But thinking about it differently, I kind of like that about her.’

Dana.

I have high hopes for you.

The hope that, with the skills you’ve honed on me, you’ll create a delicious, dark, abusive yuri story.

‘Preferably with a partner who’s super rebellious and won’t yield to just a few hits, someone who has no intention of submitting to ordinary acts, making Dana antsy instead.’

‘Take a physically and mentally healthy girl, yes, an R-19 version, let all the polar bears die.’

‘No, wouldn’t even the polar bears forgive it?’

‘Because high-level, genuine yuri is so f*cking delicious…!’

“Uuu, Yuri-fiend loves yuri, yuri’s goood… Uhi, uhuhuhu….”

I quickly forgot the sharp pain in my soft stomach and plunged into my delusions.

Ah.

I’m happy….