Chapter 1: The Daily Commute of the Elite Class’s Useless Duo

“Qiao Xia, did you finish last night’s homework? We have the old hag’s class this morning; I’m utterly doomed.”

Early in the morning, on his way to school, Qiao Xia listened to the new songs he’d found last night on his headphones. His steps were light and quick, buoyed by the beautiful melody, making him feel like shaking his head and strutting with an air of utter abandon.

However, just as he was reveling in the joyful rhythm of the music, a loud voice suddenly boomed from behind him.

His headphones were roughly yanked off. A large face, contorted in a bitter grimace, abruptly appeared before him, their noses mere centimeters apart—so close that a slight movement could lead to an accidental kiss.

This made Qiao Xia instinctively recoil several steps, quickly putting some distance between himself and the other person.

‘Damn it, standing so close! What if someone misunderstands?’

Even if he had been single since birth for sixteen years, without a girlfriend, he certainly wouldn’t get involved with a guy—especially not with Zhou Li, that gluttonous, lazy, deadbeat fatty.

Qiao Xia glared at Zhou Li, annoyed. He hung the dangling headphones around his neck before finally speaking, “Do you think I’m like you, knowingly courting danger? I told you yesterday on QQ to quickly finish your homework, even if you just fill it in randomly. Anyway, if they check, it’ll be a reckoning later.”

As the ‘useless duo’ of Class 2-1, Qiao Xia and Zhou Li were a pair of brothers in misfortune. In a class full of top students, their grades consistently ranked at the bottom every week.

They stood out like a chicken among cranes, feeling as if they’d be crushed by those ‘long-legged’ achievers if they weren’t careful.

As for being ridiculed in class, such things were impossible. The top students were too busy studying every day to even spare a moment for mockery.

It was the teachers of various subjects, however, whose eyes, like owls in the night, stared intently at the two of them. Every day, they found new ways to cause trouble.

It was as if they wouldn’t rest until the two were expelled from the elite class. This made Qiao Xia genuinely admire the teachers’ incredible patience.

With half a semester already passed, it seemed the teachers’ wishes were unlikely to come true.

And why, you ask?

It was all thanks to Zhou Li’s wealthy father, who had directly donated a library, a hundred air conditioners, countless smart cameras, and more. His immense wealth put the school leaders under considerable pressure; naturally, they wouldn’t make things too difficult for their benefactor’s son.

Thus, a spot in the elite class was secured for Zhou Li.

At the same time, Qiao Xia, as his childhood friend, also benefited from the adage ‘when one person achieves enlightenment, even their chickens and dogs ascend to heaven.’ He was subsequently dragged into the elite class by Zhou Li.

Although Qiao Xia protested numerous times, stating that he merely wanted to spend his high school years quietly and that the elite class was far too high-profile, Zhou Li ignored him. Under the pretext of being isolated and helpless on his own, he forcibly brought Qiao Xia into Class 1.

“What can I do? The game was just too fun! A master player actually helped me drop from Gold all the way to Bronze. I was so mad I almost smashed my computer; forget about homework then.”

Zhou Li spoke with a mournful, pitiable expression. His short, stout body was practically hunched into the shape of a shrimp, and he followed Qiao Xia like a wronged young wife, his face expressing utter despair as he shuffled forward.

Despite being the son of U City’s wealthiest magnate and a super-rich second generation heir, Zhou Li was as ordinary as could be. His demeanor and actions were much like any common person, nothing like those arrogant rich kids who spent their days with yachts and young models.

If Qiao Xia hadn’t known his background, he probably wouldn’t have thought this guy had any connections at all.

Perhaps because they had grown up together since childhood, Qiao Xia never really considered Zhou Li’s family background to be too powerful, or their social statuses different. He simply treated the other boy as an ordinary friend.

It was just that everyone else’s childhood sweethearts were pretty, adorable girls, so why was his a lewd, fat, stinky man?

‘It seemed all fairy tales were lies!’

“Then hurry up and go! Get to class and finish your homework. Didn’t you pay a top student for their favor a few days ago? Borrow their homework and copy it; maybe you can get away with it.”

As Qiao Xia spoke, he gave Zhou Li a forceful push. However, against layers of fat, Zhou Li’s body didn’t even sway, remaining firmly rooted to the spot.

This made Qiao Xia sigh helplessly. After tucking his phone into his pants pocket, he immediately pressed both hands against Zhou Li’s back and began pushing him with all his might.

‘The emperor isn’t worried, but his eunuchs are dying of anxiety!’

“Hey, hey, hey, slow down! I’m going to fall!”

Under Qiao Xia’s relentless pushing, Zhou Li’s feet began to lose traction, like a car unable to brake. This made him quickly cry out in alarm.

However, Qiao Xia paid him no mind and continued to push.

All around them, students hurried along, their faces serious. They paid no attention to the two playfully bickering boys; instead, each one raced against time towards the school gate.

Time wasted on the road could be used to study a little longer, potentially earning a few more points in the upcoming college entrance exam.

Even a single point’s difference could represent a vast chasm. It was truly impossible to relax!

Finally, when the two boys reached the school gate, Qiao Xia was so exhausted from pushing that a fine sheen of sweat appeared on his nose. He thought to himself, ‘When summer vacation starts, I absolutely must supervise Zhou Li’s weight loss… Wait, even without pretty girls around, his wonderful summer vacation should be spent at home with air conditioning and manga, not with Zhou Li!’

Qiao Xia, whose thoughts changed rapidly, immediately decided he would ‘cloud-supervise’ Zhou Li’s weight loss.

Then, they could just video call.

While he relaxed with air conditioning and manga, he would occasionally supervise Zhou Li’s weight loss via video.

“Ugh, going to school every day is so boring,” Zhou Li sighed. “I wish I could just graduate already…”

Gazing at the bustling scene of students at the school gate, Zhou Li couldn’t help but jiggle his chubby cheeks. He wondered why he had to obediently attend school instead of using his dad’s money to live lavishly and party around the world.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have the means!

However, before he could finish his thought, his sharp eyes immediately spotted a slender girl. She stood before the school gate like a beautiful oil painting.

“Hey, isn’t that Duan Yulan, the campus belle?”

Suddenly, Zhou Li’s eyes seemed to light up. A lecherous grin, like that of a pig, spread across his face, and he then couldn’t help but continue, “Slick! I heard she went to a dance competition a few days ago. She’s gotten even prettier after just a few days! Being in the same class as her, school is truly wonderful!”

Qiao Xia was accustomed to Zhou Li’s face changing faster than flipping a book. However, it was just a woman.

Even if she was beautiful, she usually held her head high like an arrogant peacock, making her seem less appealing.

Disdaining to blindly fawn over any ‘goddess’, Qiao Xia didn’t even glance at Duan Yulan. He felt his time would be better spent catching up on new anime; weren’t the cute girls in cartoons far more enticing?

“Qiao Xia, look! Duan Yulan’s figure is unmatched. She must be at least 1.7 meters tall! She’s a dancer, after all, truly shapely in all the right places. If I had a goddess-level girlfriend like her, I’d willingly shorten my life by ten years!”

Qiao Xia wasn’t interested in women, but he couldn’t stop Zhou Li’s incessant chatter. Despite being a rich second generation, Zhou Li was acting like a lowly ‘dog-licker’ now.

This left Qiao Xia utterly speechless, thinking Zhou Li was truly beyond saving.

“What’s there to see? They’re all just people, nothing special.”

Uttering a truly ‘straight man’s’ remark, Qiao Xia re-inserted the headphones hanging around his neck into his ears. At the same time, he began walking towards the school gate.

“Hey, hey, hey, how can they be the same? Look at the ugly ducklings in our class; they’re all uniquely hideous! I feel like my eyes will go blind if I look at them for too long, yet each one thinks they’re as beautiful as a celestial fairy! Only Campus Belle Duan is untainted by the mud, maintaining the same cold demeanor towards everyone. Tsk, tsk, she’s truly a sight for sore eyes! I wonder which lucky bastard will end up with her someday!”

As Qiao Xia walked, Zhou Li immediately followed.

However, even with headphones in his ears, Qiao Xia couldn’t block out Zhou Li’s incessant chatter.

This made Qiao Xia feel helpless, thinking that this short, stout Zhou Li actually had the nerve to criticize other girls for being ugly.

“And look how fair Campus Belle Duan’s skin is! The school even rumored she’s mixed-race, which is why she has such delicate features and fair complexion! It’s just a shame she’s so aloof. When we first split into classes, some handsome guys tried to chat her up and were completely ignored. I really wonder what kind of guys she likes. If I knew, I’d get plastic surgery to become her type!”

“Zhou Fatty, are you ever going to stop? Shut up! If you’ve got the guts, go talk to her directly. What’s the point of babbling to me all day?”

When Zhou Li’s mouth wouldn’t stop, Qiao Xia finally couldn’t hold back any longer. After glaring at Zhou Li, he immediately quickened his pace, hoping to enter the school sooner.

‘Out of sight, out of mind.’

Zhou Li, however, didn’t take Qiao Xia’s exasperated expression to heart at all. In fact, the closer he got to the school gate, the clearer he could see the campus belle’s face, which made him openly gawk like a lovesick fool. His steps even started to feel floaty, and he couldn’t help but continue rambling, “I heard a talent scout came directly to the school a while ago, wanting to sign Campus Belle Duan to debut as a celebrity artist, but she refused!”

“Alright, even if you praise her to high heaven, she probably doesn’t even know your name!”

Qiao Xia was truly fed up with Zhou Li, whose mouth was like a machine gun, non-stop. They were just passing by Duan Yulan, so if he could just make Zhou Li give up hope now, maybe he wouldn’t ramble endlessly anymore!

With that thought, Qiao Xia immediately made up his mind. He took one earbud out and called out her name towards Duan Yulan, “Duan Yulan, this guy thinks you’re…”

At the same time, Qiao Xia reached out, intending to grab Zhou Li and push him towards Duan Yulan. However, having grown up together, Zhou Li instantly understood Qiao Xia’s intent the moment he spoke. With a nimble turn, Qiao Xia’s hand grasped only air.

The next moment, Qiao Xia, who had failed to grab anyone, felt a warmth in his arms. When he looked down in surprise, he found that Duan Yulan, the campus belle who had been the subject of Zhou Li’s incessant chatter, was now tightly embracing his waist.