Chapter 1: The Unreliable Journey Across Dimensions

Hello everyone, my original name was Qin Liu Gan. Due to an unfortunate accident, I found myself crossing over—yes, as in literally crossing over.

Because I had been studying the classics since I was young and had the habit of helping the elderly lady next door cross the street, in another moment of misfortune, I unfortunately met my end…

However, I was lucky enough to cross over. Indeed, the famous Chinese thinker and educator, Mr. Lu Xun, was right when he said that those who laugh often won’t have bad luck.

Cough, cough.

Of course, it wasn’t that I was struck by lightning falling from the sky or that I died of fright while trying to save a child from an impending car accident. To be honest, you might not believe this, but I choked to death while watching a comedy show during a meal!

Before crossing over, I was still thinking, ‘Given that I am a tall, handsome, and charismatic person, loved by all and admired by flowers, I am the future hope of our nation. After crossing over, if I don’t become someone with extraordinary talent and breathtaking appearance, it would be an insult to the red scarf I always wear.’

“Beep!”

A playful female voice echoed in my mind, ‘Host: Lan Wu Xi. Time remaining until death: 20 years.’

‘What???’

I had just crossed over and was already informed that I only have 20 years left to live. This is some three-rate drama right here, might as well have killed me directly.

‘Beep, beep. If the host wishes, the system can assist in ending the host’s life directly…’

‘Fine, 20 years it is. At least I can experience the scenery of another world. Worst case, I’ll think of it as a one-way ticket to the Amazon.’

Thus, our protagonist, Qin Liu Gan, or rather, now Lan Wu Xi, embarked on this seemingly unreliable journey across dimensions.

Sixteen years later…

‘Blue Boss, look at these legs, this waist, this figure—wow, so lustful!’

‘Sputter! Look at you, are we so shallow? Our boss isn’t someone who could be satisfied with just this. Only the legendary beauty, Xiao Luo Yun, has the right to capture our boss’s attention, right, boss?’

Outside a martial arts arena, three young-looking boys were peeking through a tiny crack, watching the girls inside who were sweating and exuding a unique allure.

At this moment, these rarely seen beauties were all gathered here. Their training uniforms accentuated their curvaceous figures, highlighting their youthful charm. This sight left the three boys blushing and even made them swallow audibly.

Lan Wu Xi’s eyes were fixed on the beautiful view, barely blinking, afraid to miss a single detail. He was filled with regret.

Others who cross over are either chosen ones destined to save the world, or heroes with divine missions, naturally blessed with the protagonist’s aura. They defeat evil kings, win the hearts of rich, beautiful women, reach the peak of life, and have a family of chubby, healthy children…

But here I am, with nothing. At least give me a phone, so I can brave this strange world with a phone. That would be so cool, especially in a place like this. High-definition pixels capturing every beautiful moment—just imagining it makes my blood boil. But alas, Lan Wu Xi can only dream of such luxuries.

‘Boss? Boss?’

‘Hmm?’

Lan Wu Xi wiped the corner of his mouth, where saliva was about to drip, barely avoiding being noticed. He remembered his original purpose—he had an important mission here. Suddenly, he spotted two boys in a corner, acting suspiciously. Curious, he approached and discovered that they were Pie Qiu and Mao Xian, two notorious figures from their families, spying on the girls in the arena.

These two were startled to see him and, fearing he might expose them, offered him the best vantage point to watch the ‘beautiful scenery.’ This, Lan Wu Xi thought, was an insult to his dignity. As a gentleman, how could he be tempted by such trivial pleasures?

‘Mmm, so fragrant~’

At this moment, Lan Wu Xi was immensely grateful to the heavens for giving him a chance to witness such a scene, truly understanding the philosopher’s ‘True Fragrance’ theory.

‘Not bad, not bad! I’ve seen this kind of scene so many times, I’m not impressed! Wow…’

Lan Wu Xi, with a serious expression, suddenly noticed a perfectly built girl who seemed to be taking a break. She leaned against the wall they were peeking through, her plump buttocks prominently displayed. The tight fabric emphasized her curves, leaving Lan Wu Xi mesmerized, feeling that his life was now complete.

‘I can’t let this distract me. I am like Guliang, unperturbed by beauty.’

Lan Wu Xi thought, but before he could look away, a smooth, white hand reached out and gently tickled her buttocks. Lan Wu Xi was so shocked that his jaw nearly hit the floor.

‘Damn it, screw Guliang!’

Lan Wu Xi’s desire overpowered his reason, and he indulged in the erotic scene before him.

‘What are you doing here? This is the women’s training area; the men’s training is over there!’

A sharp, angry voice suddenly rang out, startling the three peeking boys. They raised their hands defensively, stammering, ‘I-I didn’t do anything.’

A well-built girl with a pretty face and a slim figure, wearing a uniform, frowned and shouted with a hint of irritation. After all, this place was supposed to be off-limits to men, and now three suspicious-looking boys were here, clearly up to no good.

‘I knew it was you two, Pie Qiu and Mao Xian. Weren’t you taught a lesson last time for peeking at the women’s bath? What are you plotting now?’

‘Y-you, you can’t just accuse us of something we didn’t do!’

Pie Qiu and Mao Xian’s faces turned a deep shade of red, remembering the incident at the women’s bath. It had earned them disdainful looks from all the female disciples, leaving them with nothing but regret.

‘By the way, who are you? Oh, Lan Wu Xi, what are you doing here?’

After reprimanding Pie Qiu and Mao Xian, the girl turned her gaze to Lan Wu Xi, her expression changing. Her voice was filled with disbelief and tenderness.

‘We’re saved! This time we were prepared.’

Pie Qiu and Mao Xian smiled smugly, relieved that they had Lan Wu Xi as their secret weapon.

‘Oh, it’s like this, little sister. I was just passing by and heard that the junior sisters train so diligently, so I came to cheer you on.’

Lan Wu Xi replied smoothly, his explanation flawless, earning a thumbs-up from Pie Qiu and Mao Xian.

‘Oh, I see. It seems I misunderstood you.’

The girl sighed in relief, her hand resting on her chest, which Lan Wu Xi noticed with a raised eyebrow, surprised at how easily he had deceived her.

‘Hey, Xiao Lian, there’s a small hole behind you!’

‘Really? Let me see. How did this hole appear? I don’t remember seeing it before.’

‘Sisters, there are boys outside! Pie Qiu and Mao Xian, what are you doing here!’

Hearing this, Lan Wu Xi’s nerves tightened, his expression stiff as he faced the girl, her body ablaze with anger.

‘Junior sister, let me explain…’

‘No need for explanations, senior brother. I understand. You must be protecting these two, right? I knew a kind, sincere, strong, and handsome person like you wouldn’t do something so despicable!’

‘Really?’

Lan Wu Xi was taken aback, realizing how highly these junior sisters thought of him. He scratched his head, embarrassed.

‘So, that’s the kind of person I am, huh~’

‘Beep! System alert: Host is incredibly shameless!’

Seeing the situation turn sour, Pie Qiu and Mao Xian panicked, realizing they were in deep trouble. They couldn’t believe Lan Wu Xi had sold them out so easily, leaving them to face the wrath alone. This wasn’t fair!

‘Lan Wu Xi, please say something for us.’

Pie Qiu, sensing their doom, turned to Lan Wu Xi, their only hope.

‘Can I say something, junior sister?’

‘Sure, Lan Wu Xi. What do you want to say?’

‘Here it comes. Lan Wu Xi, we knew you weren’t the type to abandon your friends.’

The two boys’ hope flickered as they believed Lan Wu Xi would save them from the ‘peeping tom’ label. They had chosen the right person, after all.

‘Actually, you’re right. They were indeed peeking at you all. When I caught them, they begged me, and I, moved by their plea, forgave them. I didn’t realize this would cause such a big problem. I’m also to blame.’

Lan Wu Xi even pretended to wipe away nonexistent tears, his acting so weak that it moved the girls. Their eyes welled up with tears, their anger fading as they were touched by his ‘heartfelt’ words. Even the flames surrounding them dissipated.

Pie Qiu and Mao Xian were stunned. They couldn’t believe Lan Wu Xi had betrayed them so thoroughly, leaving them to face the music alone. This was pushing them into the fire!

‘No, no, it’s not the senior brother’s fault. It’s all their fault. Please, senior brother, don’t say that. I forgive them.’

‘Yes, yes, senior brother, please don’t blame yourself. We’ll forgive these two troublemakers.’

The junior sisters tried to comfort him, leaving Pie Qiu and Mao Xian in shock. They couldn’t believe they were so easily forgiven. But where was the girl who had called them ‘trolls’? They had names too, and being called ‘trolls’ was disrespectful!

Lan Wu Xi was bewildered, realizing his speech skills were more powerful than he thought. If only he had known, he would have pursued ‘Best Speaker’ titles, maybe even won a big prize.