Chapter 10: My Person

Did I smile for no reason?

After clearing away the lunch boxes, I went into the bathroom for a moment and sat on the edge of the tub.

Mulling over the short conversation with Chul-soo Hyung, I retraced my steps, wondering what other mistake I had made.

To erase the first impression of being an exhibitionist, I tried my best to appear as normal as possible today.

I even dug out and wore the Guide trainee uniform I had on when I first met Hyung.

It had no effect.

Hyung disliked me today, too.

After I told him my name and smiled, telling him to call me comfortably, Hyung only pretended to eat before finally putting down his spoon.

It was the first time I had seen Hyung leave food behind.

I had naturally expected him to eat more and had waited, so when I heard him say he was done, I couldn’t even understand it at first.

I thought I had misheard him saying he would eat more.

‘I said I’m not eating.’

Only after Hyung scowled did I properly understand and belatedly cleared the table.

While putting the barely touched food back into the bag, I just smiled like some screw-loose idiot.

My facial muscles were out of control.

If I were Hyung, I would have treated myself like a weird pervert too.

“……”

I glared at my pathetic reflection in the bathroom mirror, then straightened the shirt that revealed my unremarkable collarbones and buttoned it up.

I couldn’t think of anything about me that Hyung might find appealing.

Besides guiding, there was only that.

But the current Hyung felt repulsed even just by talking to me, so it was hard to create an opportunity.

Even my cooking, my only hope, was rejected.

I was firmly on seventeen-year-old Chul-soo Hyung’s bad side.

It was a natural result, given the first impression.

It can’t be helped.

I got up and stood in front of the sink.

If it were Chul-soo Hyung, he would focus on what he could do right now instead of regretting what had already passed.

I tried to imitate Hyung at every moment.

I wanted to become a mature person like Hyung, someone the seventeen-year-old Chul-soo Hyung could lean on.

Turning on the sink faucet full blast, I washed my hands and tried to think of the most positive things.

First, Hyung’s miraculous recovery speed.

Just seeing Hyung get better day by day was enough to fill me up.

Though we still needed to monitor his progress, Hyung’s injuries were recovering at a speed that surprised everyone.

Even his most severely injured leg, the fragmented bones were smoothly finding their places and starting to regenerate, so surgery was skipped.

‘The guiding with his imprinted partner must have been a great help to his speedy recovery. Its effect is different from general guiding. So, it would be best if you, Guide Seo Yeong-u, could guide him as often as possible.’

While I was at it, I washed my face and recalled the attending physician’s advice.

During the week Hyung was unconscious, all the burn scars had disappeared, and his leg had regained its shape.

What was needed from now on was time and patience.

I had to wait calmly until Chul-soo Hyung could walk properly and regain his memory.

I was a bit hasty yesterday.

The moment I saw Hyung’s wavelength surpass 70%, my resolve to approach him slowly crumbled.

I had rashly hugged and guided Hyung, who must have thought of me as nothing but a pervert.

All I could think about was that I had to calm him down somehow.

In the midst of it all, I was happy that the Hyung who had lost his memory was reacting to my body.

I had cried for a long time again, watching Hyung fall asleep leaning on my shoulder.

I feel like crying a little right now, too.

I regretted it because it seemed like Hyung’s aversion towards me had grown even stronger, but even if I went back to yesterday, I would have made the same choice.

Today, Hyung’s wavelength was 58%.

It was the first time the first digit had dropped to ‘5’ since the accident.

“Uh…”

My nose started to bleed as I wiped the water from my face.

And of all things, it was a double nosebleed.

Just one thing after another.

Wrapping my nose with the already blood-stained towel, I crouched down for a moment.

I wondered what I could tell Hyung first, since he never asked me any questions.

It was fascinating to get a glimpse of Hyung’s teenage years, but it also made me more cautious.

I had no idea where to start and where to end.

I didn’t want to give any unnecessary shock to Hyung, who had just graduated from middle school.

I didn’t know how he would feel about dating a man, and I especially avoided the topics of imprinting and family altogether.

Hyung’s memory might return sooner than expected.

Just like his recovery speed, which was beyond expectations.

So it seemed better to keep things under wraps as much as possible rather than surprising him further.

Yes, let’s do that.

“It really won’t stop.”

Blood kept flowing from my stinging nose.

I want to go to Hyung quickly.

Help him wash up, too.

I should give him a massage as well.

Ah, would Hyung dislike that?

As my complicated mind endlessly turned, my eyes slowly closed.

“You awake?”

What the.

I had closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, I saw a white ceiling instead of the bathroom.

Moreover, I was lying on a bed, not on the cold tile floor.

Looking around, it was a hospital room I had never seen before.

“You fainted.”

Tae Seung-jun, with his arms crossed, stood at the head of the bed and said.

I must have fainted while my nose was bleeding in the bathroom.

“Where’s Chul-soo Hyung?”

Tae Seung-jun looked down at me askew as I looked for Hyung as soon as I opened my eyes.

He used to make a displeased face whenever I did anything back in the day, too.

We didn’t really like each other.

“You were holed up in the bathroom for over 30 minutes. You didn’t come out for so long that a doctor was called. By your Chul-soo Hyung.”

“Is Hyung alone?”

“Hey, Seo Yeong-u.”

Tae Seung-jun blocked my way as I tried to get up, pushing the blanket aside.

His perpetually annoying face looked particularly sharp today.

“Are you determined to die young?”

“Do I look like it?”

Why is he picking a fight again? My head started to ache again, having to deal with Tae Seung-jun’s provocations when I was already tired.

My breathing was stuffy because of the cotton balls in my nostrils, and my voice came out weird.

“Stay still.”

Tae Seung-jun covered my face with the blanket and pushed me down as I tried to remove the cotton from my nose.

Now he’s even trying to restrain me with force instead of just cutting me down with words. If Hyung saw this, you’d be dead.

“You don’t lack money or a house. Do you think it makes sense for you to faint from lack of sleep and malnutrition?”

“I’m not the only one who lacks sleep.”

“Shut up and sleep.”

Tae Seung-jun glared at me, pretending to slap my mouth as I tried to retort.

Despite his decent looks, Tae Seung-jun had as few people around him as I did because he always wore that kind of expression.

“When was the last time you slept?”

I lay down obediently, not having the energy to resist, but I didn’t answer.

I wondered what business it was of his whether I slept or not.

“Ah! Did you just hit me?!”

I swatted away Tae Seung-jun’s hand, which had suddenly grabbed my lip, and yelled.

A hand had flown towards my face, so for a moment, I thought I’d been hit.

“I pinched you.”

“What the…. Hah.”

I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t even speak.

It didn’t hurt, but it felt dirty.

“Don’t ignore people when they’re talking to you. How many times do I have to say it?”

“Then don’t talk to me.”

“What’s that?”

Ignoring my retort, Tae Seung-jun pointed to the bag on the table and asked if he could open it.

He was pretending to be curious about the contents, even though he had already smelled the food in my bag.

“Those are leftovers.”

“I’m eating them.”

“I said they’re leftovers.”

“Did you chew and spit them out?”

Feeling it wasn’t worth answering, I just let out a loud sigh.

Tae Seung-jun, who had pulled the bedside table from my bed and set up a meal, really did empty each lunch box one by one.

He didn’t show any reaction about it being delicious, but seeing him eat everything without leaving anything behind, it seemed to suit his taste.

If it were Chul-soo Hyung, he would have made a fuss, singing about how delicious it was.

“Are you going to stay here?”

I spoke up, feeling gloomy as I thought of the Hyung I couldn’t see right now.

If I were at home, I would have complained and chattered with Baekseol, Shiru, and Yeong-i.

“I just came out for a bit. I have to go back in an hour.”

“Is the Gate situation bad these days?”

“Yeah, f*cking bad.”

I was a little taken aback by Tae Seung-jun’s answer, as I was used to conversations with Hyung, who always said there were no problems.

“It’s been an emergency since the beginning of the year. Area 4 is in an even bigger mess.”

I had no idea.

Hyung always went to work and came back as usual, so I thought nothing was different.

“So it’s dangerous right now?”

Tae Seung-jun, who had been looking at my stiffened expression, rested his chin on his hand and annoyingly set a condition.

“I’ll tell you if you sleep.”

That man never does anything the nice way.

“Just sleep for an hour. I’ll wake you up before I leave.”

“I f*cking hate you.”

Turning my back to avoid Tae Seung-jun, who scowled at my small mumble, I heard him mimic my muttering, saying that I was the one with the f*cking attitude.

I cursed him internally, vowing to tell on him as soon as Hyung’s memory returned, and closed my eyes.

It was the first time I had properly lain down in a bed since Hyung got hurt, so sleep came quickly.

“Learn how to take care of your own body too. The Team Leader will scold us if he finds out.”

“I’ll sleep on my own, so go to Hyung.”

I was worried about Hyung being alone.

Except when he was with me, Chul-soo Hyung was always in a bustling environment.

I didn’t want to leave him all alone in that spacious private room.

I fell asleep to the sound of Tae Seung-jun’s half-hearted “alright”.

What is Hyung doing right now? I wonder if the kids are okay. My worries didn’t cease even in my sleep.