Chapter 10: No One at Fault

For Chaewon, who had spent his entire life needing help from others, even imagining himself being of help was enough to make his chest swell.

Countless moments surfaced and faded in his mind, times when he’d wanted to help but couldn’t, when his own circumstances felt too miserable to allow it, leaving him to simmer in frustration instead.

That was precisely why Jin Su-ha’s displeasure toward him, whatever form it took, hadn’t really bothered him.

In Chaewon’s life, things like that were nothing remarkable.

He’d been ignored without reason, bullied even.

At the very least, Su-ha had a reason Chaewon could understand, and he didn’t seem like someone who took pleasure in tormenting others for no cause.

Compared to what he’d been through, this was truly nothing.

Right now, Chaewon was already busy enough just grappling with the power he’d gained overnight.

He had no room to spare for dwelling on emotions that weren’t particularly special.

According to Eunho’s explanation, the side effects might improve over time.

For now, Chaewon simply wanted to move the cup safely without passing out.

He slowly drew up his power. Then he lifted the cup from the table and began pulling it toward the bed where he sat.

A pressure he hadn’t felt when he’d merely wrapped the cup crept in.

His vision felt a little unsteady.

Chaewon bit down harder on his lip. He couldn’t pass out again over something as trivial as moving a single cup. A sharp sting bloomed from his lip, but this barely even qualified as pain to him.

And when the cup finally reached him and he grasped it with his hand, Chaewon let out a deep breath and released his power.

The moment the force that had filled him to the fingertips vanished, something poured from his nose with a soft drip. When he lowered his head, blood was falling onto the blanket.

Chaewon hurriedly raised his hand to cover his nose and curled in on himself. Even while sitting, the room spun, and his body trembled.

But the important thing was that he hadn’t lost consciousness. That alone felt like hope, and holding the small, utterly unremarkable cup in his hand, Chaewon smiled faintly.

It was the first time he’d ever tasted the feeling of “success.” Even if it was insignificant, even if the result was trivial, it was enough for him right now.

This was the beginning. From here on, things could only get better, and Chaewon fully intended to make sure they did.

****

Are you okay?

Even now, Su-ha vividly remembered the day, the moment, he first met Min Ihyeon.

He didn’t consider himself a romantic person, but if he was being completely honest, Su-ha secretly believed that incident had been something quite close to destiny.

If there were no such things as fate, or cosmic forces, or any great power that transcended reality, how else could it be explained?

How could someone like him, who usually dealt only with dungeon raids, have ended up there that day, at that exact moment, supporting a hostage situation in the city, and been saved?

Are you badly hurt?

Ihyeon had approached Su-ha, who was crouched over, clutching his bruised side, and asked with a worried expression as he looked down at him.

The sunlight streaming in from behind filtered through Ihyeon’s soft brown hair, giving the impression of a halo.

Spellbound, Su-ha shook his head, and Ihyeon reached out a hand to him.

The instant Su-ha took that hand, he felt an overwhelming premonition that his destiny would be to follow this man for the rest of his life, no matter what.

Thanks to you, we were able to minimize the damage. You were very brave.

Ihyeon said it with a smile that made it clear he truly was proud of him. It wasn’t empty praise.

In the midst of the fierce battle, Su-ha had risked his life to evacuate and protect the other hostages, significantly reducing the number of casualties.

No, compared to what Esper Min Ihyeon did, this was nothing.

That was what Su-ha wanted to say back then. He already knew Ihyeon as a national star, recognized by everyone. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say even that much. Partly because the tension had finally drained from him, and partly because the overwhelming impression Ihyeon had left stole his words away.

Even on a battlefield where lives hung in the balance, Ihyeon alone had been elegant and beautiful. That couldn’t have been Su-ha’s impression alone.

Just in case, go over there and get treated right away. I’ll see you again.

Leaving behind what was clearly a polite farewell, Ihyeon departed. Su-ha stood there for a long while, watching his retreating figure.

Perhaps because of everything he’d been through, Su-ha spent the next week burning with a severe fever, barely conscious.

And on the day his body suddenly recovered as if by a lie, Jin Su-ha awakened as a guide.

Once again, as far as Suha was concerned, it had all been destiny.

****

“…”

In the dim pre-dawn darkness, Su-ha opened his eyes. It had been a long time since he’d dreamed of that day. Clearly, his emotions had been shaken lately by one thing after another.

Blinking a few times, he lingered on the scenes that were both dream and memory, then slowly sat up.

Su-ha lived in apartment-style housi within the Center, spacious, clean, and lacking for nothing. Once you reached a certain level of seniority, staying in the dorms became optional.

With no family to live with, Su-ha found dorm life far more convenient, especially with the Center cafeteria nearby.

He went to the refrigerator, took out a bottle of water, and drank it straight. The water was cold enough to sting as it went down his throat, yet oddly, it didn’t quench his thirst.

The memory of first meeting Ihyeon was undeniably a good one. But recalling that day alongside his current situation left a tightness in his chest he couldn’t ignore.

Why did it hurt this much?

He hadn’t even been officially assigned as Ihyeon’s guide. Even if he’d requested to become his exclusive guide, it would likely have been rejected. So why did he feel angry, as if something had been taken from him?

Admiring and setting Ihyeon as his goal wasn’t strange, but had his single-minded focus turned into something closer to unhealthy obsession?

As he turned those thoughts over, one face naturally surfaced in Su-ha’s mind. The face of Lee Chaewon, the man who had suddenly barged into what Su-ha thought was a smooth, flawless plan and thrown it into disarray.

From Su-ha’s perspective, Chaewon was little different from an unforeseen accident. Yet his overly gentle appearance made that label feel strangely ill-fitting. He looked like someone who couldn’t kill a single bug, let alone fight on the brink of life and death as an Esper.

And yet Su-ha had taken out his spite on him, pushed him until he’d fainted. No matter how much he’d apologized, his heart still felt heavy.

If only Chaewon had acted arrogant over awakening as an S-rank. If he’d looked down on his guide like some Espers did. If he’d at least argued back or protested against Su-ha’s words, then maybe it wouldn’t have felt this awkward.

Thinking of Chaewon, newly awakened as an Esper and already suffering severe side effects, and of his own failure to properly take care of him, Su-ha felt a faint sense of guilt.

Alongside that was the undeniable knowledge that he would continue to feel uncomfortable during the time they’d have to spend together from here on out. With a sigh, Su-ha set the water bottle down.

It seemed there was no hope of falling back asleep tonight.

****

Chaewon stirred with a small groan and sat up in bed. Lying there awake all night had been its own kind of torment. His body felt tired, but the moment he closed his eyes, all kinds of thoughts became painfully vivid, leaving him unable to sleep.

He went to the bathroom, turned on the sink, splashed water on his face without much thought, then stared at his reflection in the mirror. It was clearly his own face, yet it didn’t quite feel like it belonged to him.

To others, Chaewon’s complexion probably still looked sickly pale. But compared to how he’d been before awakening, he knew just how healthy his color was now.

He raised a hand and pinched his cheek. Even the sensation of his skin under his fingers was completely different, soft, warm. Finding that fascinating, Chaewon touched his face again and again.

The pain that had felt like his organs were twisting, tearing, and knotting together was gone. The dizziness that made it hard just to stand upright, the constant coughing up of blood, every last one of those symptoms had disappeared.

The side effects he experienced from using his power were almost cute compared to what he’d endured before.

Even winning the lottery overnight wouldn’t compare to this kind of reversal. His illness had been cured, and on top of that, he’d awakened as an S-rank Esper, something everyone envied, and was now set to enjoy a life of privileges he’d never known.

While being briefed on the treatment and benefits afforded to national Espers, Chaewon had to consciously force his mouth closed, so it wouldn’t hang open like an idiot.

It hadn’t been that long ago that he’d struggled desperately just to avoid starving to death. And now, once he began official Esper activities, he was told he’d be earning a salary larger than any amount of money he’d ever held in his life.

“…Grandma would’ve been so happy to see this.”

Once the reality of it all set in, it was only natural for longing to follow. Even after experiencing something this extraordinary, there wasn’t a single person Chaewon could call to share the news with.

Aside from his grandmother, Chaewon had lived by cutting himself off from the rest of the world as much as possible. He’d deliberately put up walls against anyone who approached him, and he hadn’t made friends. He simply hadn’t had the luxury to look away.