Chapter 12: Let’s Introduce Ourselves

“Hello, everyone.”

That was the first thing I said.

A greeting that was neither special nor unique.

Nevertheless, the reaction was incredibly enthusiastic.

[A bratty succubus nun, for real]
[That voice is pretty suggestive lol]
[Wakyapya lol]
(TL Note: This is onomatopoeia/slang expressing lewd excitement, similar to ‘hubba hubba’ or wolf-whistling.)
[Yesterday was a mature woman, today is hehehe…]

Though I’m not sure if it was enthusiastic in a good way.

They seem like incredibly crazy people, but it’s probably a good thing.

I gathered my wits, adjusted the size of my avatar appropriately, and moved it to the bottom left.

Next, I pulled up the presentation materials.

It was a document with cute mini-Naru drawings and Naru’s basic information.

It wasn’t information predetermined by the company; they were concepts I created myself.

“My name is Naru. You saw the backstory in the video earlier, right?”

[Why isn’t your tone of voice annoying?]
[Did you throw away the RP, Naru-nim?]
[Say ‘do it for me’ in a tone that makes me want to discipline you]

The reaction that had been so good was instantly overturned.

It was dissatisfaction stemming from the mismatch between the character and my way of speaking.

Hah… I really didn’t want to do this.

I squeezed my eyes shut and accepted their demand.

It was a judgment that came from thinking that ignoring them with my teeth clenched wouldn’t solve the problem.

“Y-you… loooser♡… can’t you even stand that?”

[Kyaa]
[This is it]
[Kraaak, for a little brat!]

As expected, the reaction changed like flipping a palm.

Even so, I have no intention of maintaining the RP for long.

There’s no way I can do such a cringeworthy act for a long time.

Just saying that one line was hard!

So, so I have no intention of doing more right now.

It means I have to return to being a normal person for now.

“I-I’ll stop here. My hands and feet are cringing so much I can’t hold the mouse.”

[Too bad]
[Na]
[Rak]
[Do more]

The chat window became even more fiery.

But I really stayed quiet for 5 minutes without saying anything.

[A battle of wills, legendary]
[Naru, we were wrong, please forgive us just once]
[We’rewrongwe’rewrongwe’rewrong]

Hmm, the suppression is complete.

Thinking it was finally manageable, I slowly opened my mouth.

“I’ll forgive you just this once. The sulky Naru doesn’t have a next time.”

Saying that, I opened a window.

It was an introduction document containing Naru’s additional information.

“Alright, as you can see here, my name is Naru. My height is 143cm, my weight is a secret… and my age is 1000 years old.”

[Naru was a chicken coop?]
(TL Note: ‘Dakjang’ or ‘chicken coop’ is slang for an older woman, particularly one who is unmarried, implying she’s ‘past her prime’ like a hen that can no longer lay eggs. It’s often used for women over 25.)
[She’s legal]
[Cluck cluck, it’s a chicken coop]

Tch, was setting my age a mistake?

At the unexpected reaction, I felt a great sense of bewilderment.

But I learned how to deal with this from the CEO’s broadcast.

Click

[NataTheElderlySeatTackler]
-That voice is pretty suggestive lol
-I want to lick her belly button
-Wakyapyahukjjuknong lol
-Pyapya
-It’s a chicken coop

” ‘NataTheElderlySeatTackler’-nim, please explain yourself. What is the meaning of this?”

That’s right, pick one and publicly humiliate them.

To put it mildly, it can also be called making an example of them.

[Look at that nickname lol]
[Gasp]
[Public humiliation right from the debut stream, for real]
[Suggestive-dan busted lol]

As expected, an incredible result.

The topic of the chaotic chat window changed.

This is enough to proceed.

I cleared my throat and continued.

“I’ll let it slide just this once, so don’t do it again.”

The profile window of the malicious viewer quietly closed.

He’ll be a bit nicer now, right?

Thinking that he surely would, since I had publicly shamed him, I moved on to the next thing.

“Anyway, to continue… my favorite food is anything sweet!”

Pictures appeared with a click.

They were pastel-colored drawings of cookies and cakes.

“Sweet things, I like any kind. Among them, I especially like cookies… I recently tried Sungsimdang’s white cookies, you know? They were incredibly delicious.”

[Sungsimdang is king, for real lol]
[They only sell 300 of those a day, Naru-nim, could it be…?]
[Back-alley deal master Haru, for real]

“Ahem, what are you talking about. I just ate what was there when I went for the interview.”

Oops, I should have kept that a secret.

I got excited and let it slip.

Well… as long as that employee keeps it a secret, it should be fine.

“Ahem ahem, anyway, that’s that. The food I hate is… eggplant! It’s a waste to even call this food, but anyway, I hate it.”

[It’s a pseudo-food]
[If someone likes that, they’re the weird one]
[Hate-plant for real]
[Please stop the eggplant hate, everyone!]

As expected, most people understand me.

Right, the person who likes eggplant is the weird one, isn’t that right?

I gave a faint smile and turned to the next page.

“Next up… it’s time to look at Naru’s abilities. Ta-da, Naru can use the power of hypnosis.”

At that, a picture of a cute SD Naru swinging a coin tied to a string from side to side appeared.
(TL Note: ‘SD’ or ‘Super Deformed’ is a style of Japanese caricature where characters are drawn in an exaggerated, cute, chibi-like way.)

The humble art style was quite charming, even to my eyes.

[If I get hypnotized by a nun… hehehe…]
[Ooh la la]
[Hitomi ON]
(TL Note: ‘Hitomi’ is a well-known website for adult manga, so ‘Hitomi ON’ means their mind has gone into the gutter.)

These perverted viewers.

I had expected it to some extent, but every single one of them has that kind of reaction?

I could feel my future getting a little darker.

I also felt that I needed to train them well.

“Everyone, do you all live with a Hitomi filter in your heads? But since I’m not you, I won’t be using it in that way.”

[Too bad]
[That’s how you’re supposed to use it]
[Then why do you need the power of hypnosis? (Genuinely don’t know)]

“What do you mean why. It’s to suck donations out of you all.”

I naturally revealed my true intentions.

This is all for a living, so what’s wrong with that?

Or… is it?

[This money-grubbing b*tch!]
[You learned something weird from the mod]
[Try hiding it a little]

Well, I guess not.

Looking at the fiery chat window, it seems not.

I was too honest.

I scratched the back of my head and opened my mouth.

“I-I shouldn’t say that, right?”

Hmm, I didn’t say anything.

Be quiet, anyway, I didn’t say anything.

“Ahem, anyway, your donations will go into my pocket after all the deductions, so don’t worry.”

[It’s a donation, but you’re embezzling it?]
[Embezzler for real]
[Naru, you can’t do that. You’ll go to jail.]

“Ahem, what are you talking about. The goddess permitted it too.”

As I turned to the next page.

A picture of a dumb-looking blonde SD goddess saying ‘I permit it’ in a speech bubble appeared.

“See, the goddess permitted it too. Am I wrong?”

[Shameless b*tch…]
[If the goddess said so, I’ll acknowledge it]
[The worst economic criminal, Naru;;]

“From now on, anyone who objects will be considered a heretic. Should I show you Inquisitor Naru?”

[Gasp]
[Ulp]
[What]

As expected, the effect is certain.

They say that since ancient times, people quiet down before their heads get smashed.

They’ll stop objecting if they don’t want their heads smashed.

I smiled and continued the broadcast.

“Since it has come to this, shall we accept donations for 30 seconds? I’ll open it for exactly 30 seconds from now, so show me your creativity, everyone.”

Click

The donation window opened with a flourish.

In 30 seconds, a huge amount of donations piled up.

To think that 42 donations would pile up in just 30 seconds.

Although 1000 won punches made up the majority.

It was a little surprising that so much had piled up in such a short time.

“It’s only been 30 seconds, but 42 have piled up. I’ll check them now.”

[Thank you for your 1,000 won donation, ‘Yoonicorn’-nim!]
[Yo, yoroshiku]

“Yoonicorn-nim, one thousand won~ It’s a pleasure to meet you too.”

[Thank you for your 1,000 won donation, ‘Anonymous’-nim!]
[Wakyapyahuknongjjukteunpyongmalrang lol]

“Wow, as expected of a non-member… you’re quite vulgar.”

…

I spent some time reading a few donations like that.

There were many dizzying donations from the very first broadcast.

The word ‘regret’ is already coming to mind… but they’re giving me money, so I have to endure it.

[This is T-suda!]
(TL Note: A pun on ‘Twitch-suda’, meaning ‘Twitch talk’ or the general culture/vibe of Twitch.)
[The streamer is at a loss for words lol]
[You chose this VTuber life, endure it with spite and grit.]

Right, since I chose it…

I didn’t know when I was watching, but being on the receiving end is dizzying.

I held my throbbing head and moved on to the next part.

“Anyway, anyway, anyway! I’ll tell you what I like. Ta-da!”

What appeared on the screen was a program showing the statistics of my computer usage time.

In other words, it could also be called an indicator that summarized my gaming-addict life for the past few weeks.

[League of Legends] – 401 hours
[Dungeon Story] – 309 hours
…
[Bio-Hazardous] – 0.2 hours

Looking at it like this… I could really feel how spectacularly I had ground my life away.

[The record for the last 6 weeks is insane lol]
[Gaming addict for real]
[Suddenly feeling a sense of familiarity]
[Ah, so you’re a Dun-soongi?]
(TL Note: ‘Dun-soongi’ is slang for a Dungeon Fighter Online addict, ‘Dun’ from Dungeon and ‘soongi’ from ‘wonsungi’ meaning monkey.)

I wasn’t the only one who thought so.

Well… anyone would think that way.

“Um… it’s embarrassing, but I like games very much. They’re fun and economical, you know?”

[It’s not just a liking level lol]
[Economical?]
[What, is she hinting at RMT?]
(TL Note: RMT, or Real Money Trading, is the practice of selling in-game items for real money. The slang ‘ssal-meok’ (rice-eating) is used for this.)
[RMT-soongi Naru, for real]

“Ahem! I’m not an RMT-soongi. I mean it’s economical when you calculate the amount of dopamine you get for the money you spend.”

[Boo, RMT RMT RMT!]
[To use a restaurant analogy, it’s like a customer grilling the meat for the next table and getting paid, right?]
[Dopamine RMT for real]

These contrary frogs!

The more I try to explain, the worse it gets, right?

Click

“Ehh~? You loser-kuns~ you want to get ‘banned’?”

If it’s like this, I have no choice but to chop off their heads.

If I cut off one or two, they’ll naturally quiet down.

[Aaaack, not me]
[Uhm]
[Please forgive us just one more time]

Hmph, acting up when you’ll quiet down like this.

I let out a satisfied laugh and moved on to the final page.

“Heheung~ alright, this is the last corner of Part 1. We have to decide on your fan name, right? I’ll take suggestions in a democratic style.”

Then, a list of fan names appeared.

They were all moderate names that I had thought of.

[No taste]
[Boo, it’s lame!]
[This is a bit…]

No, what’s wrong with the names I chose?

I thought I did a pretty good job, was I wrong?

[Na]
[Rak]
[You really have no taste]

I guess not.

I was momentarily flustered by the overflowing complaints.

But I quickly came to my senses and began to suppress the fire in the chat window.

“Then you guys decide, if there’s a good one, I’ll use it.”

After a few minutes had passed.

As a result of a huge amount of opinions being exchanged, three candidates remained.

[Loser-kuns]
[Naru-dan (Naru Brigade)]
[Naru-chin (Naru’s Friends)]

Except for the first candidate, they were all names I had made…

But except for the first candidate, the only names that came up were ones that would only be used in some shady corner of the internet… so I had no choice.

This is already giving them a lot of leeway.

“Now, vote. I’ll give you one minute.”

Oh my, it seems everyone has a lot pent up.

During the short one minute, the flames in the chat window showed no sign of dying down.

But why am I seeing so many 1s?

As time passed, I was able to find out the truth.

In the poll results window that only I could see for now, an incredible result had come out.

[89.1% / 6.3% / 4.6%]

Is my naming sense that bad?

It was a result that reminded me of the class president election in elementary school, which I hadn’t even attended for long.

“Everyone, do you happen to know the saying that the decision is made not by the person who casts the vote, but by the person who counts it?”

[Boo, down with the rigged election!]
[Na]
[Red Naru for real]
[Rak]

Hmm, I guess it’s not working.

“Alright… ‘Loser-kuns’ has been selected with 89.1% of the votes, bang bang bang!”

…And so, a completely unexpected fan name was decided.