Chapter 13: The Weight of Rescue

Whiiir—! Whiiir—!

The distant wail of sirens grew steadily closer, accompanied by a frantic flashing of lights.

I couldn’t bring myself to embrace Jaeseong. Instead, I lifted the man I wished to strangle with my own hands. He was barely breathing, his life clinging on by a thread. The man, so heavily drugged that only the whites of his eyes were visible, had vomit splattered all over his clothes.

“Damn it.”

Jaeseong remained silent. Yet, as I rose with the man in my arms, he scrambled to his feet, following close behind me. His legs trembled with fear, but he hurried to keep pace, as if afraid I might slow down. Pulling out the cumbersome needle, I pushed open the half-ajar iron gate, revealing police sirens flashing so brightly they hurt my eyes.

“Junseo!”

A familiar face rushed towards me the moment he saw me. It was Team Leader Kim, someone I had known since childhood.

“Where’s the ambulance?”

“It’s at the far end. Did you find the kid? Is he okay? And who’s this man?”

“Could you take care of that area first, please?”

I subtly gestured behind me. Team Leader Kim quickly signaled to another detective standing nearby.

“Ah, understood. But what about this man?”

“I’ll explain later.”

“Can you describe the situation inside?”

“There are no Espers. They all appear to be Chinese. It would be best for you to go in and see.”

“How many people?”

“Eight people.”

I helped the man, whose role as victim or perpetrator was unclear, into the ambulance. Watching the paramedics, who had already arrived, hastily administer emergency treatment, I turned away. In the distance, Jaeseong walked towards me, under the protection of a male detective.

Wounded eyes.

Jaeseong was telling me he was struggling.

That he was exhausted, tormented, and sad.

But I pretended not to notice. Our eyes met, but this time, I was the first to look away. Jaeseong’s gaze followed me as I walked, but I never once turned back.

I was just…

…tired.

So tired that I wanted to give up everything.

****

I leaned back against a rusty drum. Team Leader Kim’s promise that it would only take a moment had, predictably, turned out to be a lie; by the time the lengthy interrogation concluded, it was already four in the morning. The forgotten fatigue, coupled with a familiar throbbing headache, settled over me.

‘I should head back.’

I fumbled with the car keys in my pocket, trying and failing several times to stand up. The thought of another long drive made my head pound.

‘Damn it, everything’s such a bother.’

‘What will become of Jaeseong now?’ I briefly entertained the thought before dismissing it, offloading all responsibility onto the Center. ‘There’s nothing I can do anyway. The Center is responsible for protecting him as a Guide, so they’ll handle it.’ I decided against dwelling on meaningless thoughts for which there were no answers. Honestly, I wanted to do nothing at all.

“Junseo.”

A police officer, bearing a face identical to mine, stood before me. I hadn’t even noticed his arrival. Though over fifty, he looked no older than his mid-forties. He was the only person in the world I truly respected.

“When did you get here?”

“Since you came out. I came with Team Leader Kim from the start.”

“Is everything settled then?”

“No, someone’s slacking off because of you. Anyway, it’s strange meeting you in a place like this.”

“…I apologize.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t say it to hear that.”

My father came and stood beside me, taking out a cigarette. He exhaled a plume of white smoke, remarking, “Thanks to you, I got to come out to the field for the first time in a while. It’s nice.”

“I thought you quit.”

“I did. But it always comes to mind when I’m out in the field. I came because of you today, so you’re an accomplice, kid. Keep it a secret from your mother, okay? If she finds out, I’m dead.”

‘Even if I don’t say anything, he’s probably going to get caught anyway.’ Even I, who feared little, had one terror in this world: my mother. My mother, who always referred to herself as Mrs. Park, was a kind and warm-hearted woman, but when she got angry, her scolding was so severe that no one could stop her. With a father like a friend and a mother like a teacher, both had always given me an abundance of love. Having grown up under their care, I simply could not forgive a man who would use his own child for money.

‘P-please, save me.’

‘Why? Why are you asking to be saved? You tried to send him to strangers. You hurt him every day. So why?’ Watching Jaeseong crying and clinging to the man, that thought suddenly struck me. ‘Perhaps Jaeseong wasn’t waiting for me at the hospital after all. Perhaps he simply wished for someone to come, and it just happened to be me. Could it be that he was actually looking for his father every day?’

As that thought surfaced, I realized that I was the one who had left the lonely child waiting alone all this time. Because I had sent the man away, Jaeseong had been left by himself. Only then did I understand: being abandoned was more terrifying than being beaten. And I thought, ‘Perhaps Jaeseong’s wish was to live with that man forever rather than be left alone.’

“Is that him?”

My mind, lost in thought, snapped back to attention. My father pointed towards the distant ambulance with the hand holding his cigarette.

“Well, you never tell me anything first.”

Since I hadn’t said anything, it was clear he’d heard it from Aunt. Knowing exactly what my father was implying, I offered no reply.

“So, what do you intend to do?”

“I’m not sure.”

It wasn’t that I offered no answer; I simply couldn’t formulate one. The realization that what I had done for Jaeseong’s sake was merely my own selfish desire suddenly made me afraid to learn anything more about him.

“I heard the story, but he really is just a child.”

A fact I already knew. An unchangeable truth. And an unalterable reality.

“I don’t think that drug addict is coming back. So what are you going to do about the kid?”

“I’m not sure. The Center will handle it.”

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

I pushed myself up from where I had been sitting. It felt as though if I stayed any longer, the conversation would drag on.

“I’ll be going.”

“Son. As I always say, your mother and I won’t know unless you tell us, so if anything happens, you must talk to us.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why would such a person call you to a place like this at this hour?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll tell you next time.”

“And when exactly is ‘next time’?”

My father stood up after me, hastily stubbing out his cigarette. He looked flustered, simply because I had moved. Seeing his reaction, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you for today, Father.”

My father, seeing my rarely displayed smile, grumbled to himself once more.

“Honestly, I can never tell if I’ve succeeded or failed at raising children.”

****

Having once again used my abilities on civilians without authorization, I naturally expected a more severe disciplinary action. And as I anticipated, a summons from the Center arrived early the next morning. Upon arrival, however, I was not led into a disciplinary committee meeting. Instead, I entered a seldom-used conference room, where all the high-ranking Center officials I had never met before were gathered. In one corner of the room, where about thirty people were assembled, Aunt sat with a grave expression, her hands clasped together.

‘What a damn awful atmosphere.’

“Please provide a detailed account of the events that transpired early this morning.”

“I believe I have already provided a full explanation to the police.”

“How did you come to be at that location?”

“I clearly stated that Jaeseong had disappeared, and I went to look for him.”

“By ‘Jaeseong,’ you mean Jaeseong-gun, the youngest Guide… is that correct?”

‘The youngest, huh? I suppose I’ve never heard of a ten-year-old Guide before.’ I nodded. I expected further questions about how I came to know Jaeseong, but a completely different inquiry was thrown my way.

“Were you previously acquainted with the perpetrators?”

“Do you honestly think I would have been acquainted with them? Me? With those pieces of trash?”

Irritation surged through me instantly. As I openly displayed my displeasure, the official who had posed the question swallowed hard, a troubled expression on their face. Until that moment, I’d questioned whether this incident was truly so grave. While I acknowledged that interfering in matters involving civilians was certainly wrong, it was, in a way, simply an act to save a child. Furthermore, I had rescued a Guide, someone the Center held in such high regard.

“Was there anything you could understand from their conversation?”

“I believe I’ve already fully explained everything regarding that.”

“Were there any unusual details within that conversation?”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“Was there any dialogue that indicated a specific location or the characteristics of a person? Please try to recall again.”

It was strange. Rather than reprimanding or interrogating me about my actions, they seemed to be seeking answers to some unknown questions. I had a feeling that I wasn’t the true target of their questions.

The Center had three main objectives: To protect citizens from creatures in Sector 2. To provide Guides so that Espers could work for the nation. Therefore, the most important objective was to protect Guides. Knowing that Guide protection was the Center’s top priority, I immediately understood what answer they were looking for from me.

“Master.”