Chapter 16: Girls, Youth, and Cheating

‘I’m a good person?’

Receiving a “good guy card” leaves Shangguan He stunned. In his past life, he was busy gaming, writing guides, and sharing resources, hearing plenty of “OP’s a good guy” or “Good guy, safe life, 616865070@qq.com” comments. But those weren’t that kind of good guy card. Pouring all his passion into the gaming world, he had neither time nor interest for real-world romance. Simps got good guy cards from their goddesses; he didn’t—because he never had a crush. In that sense, this is his first good guy card from a real girl! Not that kind of card, but it still feels… weird.

“?” Seeing him stop, a puzzled Suzuki Hikaru pauses to wait. Her small gesture snaps him out of his daze. He starts walking again, and whether intentional or not, Hikaru keeps a subtle distance. Their footsteps echo in the quiet hallway.

After processing the odd feeling, Shangguan He speaks up. “Anyway, don’t blab about what happened in there.” To be safe, he decides to lock down Hikaru. As he says it, the business card in his pocket feels hot enough to brand his thigh.

“Huh? Okay.” Hikaru agrees instinctively but, not being a complete fool, adds with doubt, “Wait, didn’t you say it was… normal?”

“Uh, well…” Sweat beads on his forehead as he scrambles for an excuse. “Sure, but there’s a lot tied to media studies and stuff.”

“Huh…?” Hikaru nods, half-understanding, clearly not fully convinced.

Just then, his brain tailors a pitch to Hikaru’s personality. He turns to her, brows lowered, eyes brimming with complex emotions, sighs heavily, and speaks with utmost sincerity. “Look, the best way to kill a rumor is to stop it from spreading. I’m thick-skinned—gossip’s just sand to me. But for girls, it can be a mountain. You get it, right? I can tell by your face you do! So, you’ll keep it secret, yeah? You’re willing, right, Hikaru-chan? This is our little secret. I trust you.”

His spiel is a masterclass in persuasion, and he smirks inwardly. Take that, Suzuki! Hikaru waves her hands frantically, flustered. “Ah! I didn’t know it was that serious. Sorry! I-I-I’ll keep it secret! Definitely!”

Satisfied, he imagines a cat in his mind hopping to a “Happy~Happy~Happy~” tune. Soon after, they exit the club building. But to the left of the entrance, a familiar figure waits.

“Yo! Been waiting forever! Let’s head to class!” Yamazaki Miki waves enthusiastically.

“…” The moment Hikaru sees Miki, she glances at Shangguan He. Then, under their gazes, she silently clamps both hands over her mouth. Though she says nothing, her actions scream, “See? I’m keeping it secret! (￣▽￣)b”*

Shangguan He’s smile stiffens, and he mentally facepalms. Suzuki, are you an idiot?! The point of keeping a secret is so no one knows it exists! Your “I’ve got a secret but I won’t tell” act is basically shouting there’s something to hide!

Miki glances at Hikaru, then at Shangguan He. A giant, flashing question mark seems to hover over her head, quickly morphing into an exclamation point. “Oh… I get it…” She grins, like she’s cracked some code.

That grin makes Shangguan He’s heart lurch. The last time she said “I get it,” nothing good came of it! “What do you get?! I haven’t even said anything!” He pivots quickly. “Why aren’t you doing something productive? What’re you waiting here for?!”

“Ya haha, you really want me to say it?” Miki cups her face, feigning shyness. “You want a JK beauty to spill it right now?!”

“Damn it! Your reaction’s just like last time! Nothing good’s coming out of your mouth!” The déjà vu makes his head feel three sizes bigger.

Just then, he feels a faint tug on his left sleeve. It’s Hikaru. She’d been trying to interject into his and Miki’s banter but, too quiet to be heard, opted for a bold move—tapping his shoulder like an extrovert. But as her hand rose, she chickened out. Shoulder-tapping was too much! They weren’t that close. Lowering the difficulty, her gaze dropped to his sleeve. Tugging a sleeve? She could manage that. Shangguan-san’s a good person. He won’t mind a little contact, right? After hyping herself up, she acted. Thankfully, it worked—he noticed her.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“Um, Shangguan-san, Yamazaki-san.” Her voice is soft. “You guys talk. I, uh, I…”

“Didn’t we say we’d go back to class together?” He catches her drift instantly.

“No, no, no!” Hikaru shakes her head like a rattle. “It’s safe now, so no need, um, probably no need…”

“Safe? What do you mean?”

“Nothing, nothing, nothing! I-I-I’ll head back first. Bye!” She bows in apology, then bolts toward the classroom like she’s fleeing.

Hikaru’s gone. But the annoying one remains. Shangguan He sighs heavily.

“Ho ho ho~ Hey, hey, hey~” Miki, now beside him, wears a creepy grin, elbowing him. “You sly dog! You’ve got game!”

“What’re you stirring up now?!” Dodging her jabs, he sweats. What’s this auntie-smile-wearing girl thinking?! “Your grin’s creepy as hell! Spit it out! Don’t make this a bigger mess!”

“Fine, fine. For something worthy of red bean rice, I’ll be subtle.” Miki’s face turns serious. She forms a circle with her left hand, pokes her right index finger through it, and, blushing, asks, “You two… did it in the infirmary?”

“Wha—?!” He’s floored. “First, why would you think that? Second, what crime can I sue you for?”

“Don’t play dumb. It was just you two in the hallway, no other noise, and you weren’t whispering, so your voices carried.” Miki pats his shoulder, looking wistful. “Honestly, I didn’t expect you to climb the adult ladder before me. But it had to happen someday. As your bro, I wish you happiness—oh, can I snag a bite of your red bean rice tonight?”

“What did you hear?! No way I said anything that’d make you think that!”

“Didn’t catch it all, just bits.” Miki counts on her fingers. “Like ‘don’t blab about what happened in there,’ ‘it’s bad for the girl,’ and ‘our little secret’… Why’s your face turning red and purple?”

“I just thought of a joke: ‘On cherry-picking—Excerpt from Don’t Cherry-Pick.’” He facepalms weakly. “So, what did you conclude from that?”

Miki answers instantly. “You slept with Hikaru, got her pregnant, don’t want the kid, and are planning an abortion.”

He’s horrified. “I did all that in five minutes?”

Miki nods understandingly. “It’s fine. You’re a virgin. Five minutes is impressive.”

“I’m not admitting to anything!”

“The virgin part? Or the five minutes?”

“All of it!” He gasps. “Miki, haven’t you considered how absurd, explosive, and ridiculous that is?”

“Huh? Is it?” She tilts her head. “But in some manga I read…”

“Manga’s manga, reality’s reality! If you treat manga as real life, why not become a performance artist?!” He cuts her off. “Point is, it’s not what you think! Don’t spread that story! I don’t care, but Hikaru’s a good kid—don’t cause her trouble!”

“Oh? A good kid? Heh…” Miki pouts, disappointed, and slaps his shoulder hard.

“Ow!” He yelps. “That hurts, Lady Miki! You’re trained! My frail frame can’t handle your stone-crushing palm!”

“Let’s go! Why’re you standing there like a lamppost?”

They walk side by side naturally. Sadly, “silence” doesn’t exist in Miki’s orbit. She soon starts a new topic. “So, what do you think of that girl?”

“Who?”

“Suzuki-san, duh.”

“Huh? Weird question.” He frowns, countering with an analogy. “How does a car in a crash test feel about the steel plate it hits?”

“No way! Is her chest that flat?” Miki’s shocked. “I thought she was a sleeper hit! Like a quiet side character in early anime episodes who steals the show in the beach episode, spawning tons of fan art!”

“…My analogy’s focus was the crash, not the plate.” He sighs. “Point is, we just collided once. I’m lucky she didn’t demand compensation. You think we crashed into a marriage?”

“Oh? So, you feel nothing?”

“…” Her words stir something in him.

In his past life, he never dated, so in his first playthrough, he went all out, flirting with every girl to make up for his blank romantic history. Experiencing heart-pounding moments with them brought immense joy. But those were reactions to his advances. He treated those moments like inspecting trophies. Hikaru’s different. He barely did anything, yet she fell for him. And she’s the first girl, in both lives, to confess to him.

In his first playthrough, as the “protagonist,” he thought it was only natural for him to confess to “heroines.” He never expected a heroine to confess to him. She must really like me. Her heartfelt confession letter, every word screaming “I love you,” made him feel ashamed of his flippant attitude. Thoughts like, “Hikaru likes me this much. Maybe I should drop the other girls—she deserves better,” echoed in his mind.

After agonizing for half an hour, he made his choice. He announced their relationship to the class, ready to be a goofy couple with her—at least during their relationship, he wouldn’t betray her. Then the second girl confessed. “God, I love you to death.” And he started his second playthrough.

“Ugh…” Recalling the bitter memory, his expression sours. He looks at Miki. “Why’re you asking, anyway?”

“Just chatting.” She shrugs.

“Oh, you’re jealous I got close to Hikaru, huh? Haha, I get it—you like me!” He teases with a smug grin. “Just admit it! I’m charming, it’s normal to fall for me. Confess anytime, but brace for puffy eyes from crying!”

“Hah? Whether I like you or not…” Miki smirks. “Hikaru might actually like you.”

“What?!” His jaw drops. “I haven’t done anything! How’s she liking me again?!”

“Again?” Her eyes flash with surprise.

“Oh, I mean, what’s her deal? That desperate for love?” He doesn’t think he’s handsome enough for love at first sight. “What’s your basis for saying that? Don’t make stuff up!”

“Basis…” Miki thinks for a second. “Female intuition?”

“Dare I ask—if I laugh now, you won’t hit me, right?”

“You’re already bold enough asking that!” She raises a fist. “Take this!”

“Wah!”

He recalls how some people at school are dubbed “matchmakers,” pairing up compatible couples. For students wanting to escape singlehood, posting on the school’s confession board might go nowhere, but matchmakers nail it every time. Is Miki secretly a matchmaker too?! Wait, no. She’s literally the “wingman” character meant to help the protagonist romance girls! She’s just doing her job!

“Wadah!” After playfully tapping him, Miki doesn’t pivot to another topic. Instead, she circles back, serious. “No joking now. I really think Hikaru’s got a thing for you.”

“No way! Lady Miki, hearing you sound serious is as scary as seeing a husky deep in thought.” Bruised and battered, he nearly feels a third playthrough coming. Seeing her fist rise again, he wails, “Why do you think she likes me? Just female intuition?”

“…The sleeve.”

“Huh?”

“She tugged your sleeve.” Miki analyzes like a psychology guru. “Girls don’t just tug a guy’s sleeve casually. Her demeanor and actions were super natural, meaning she subconsciously feels very comfortable with you—at least friend-level, maybe more. With a push, you could be lovers!”

“Uh, isn’t it possible she’s just not shy around me because I seem like a good guy?”

“Who’s the woman here, me or you?” Miki raises a provocative brow. “My analysis is spot-on!”

“But I don’t get it…” His face screams confusion. “Did I do anything to make her like me? I’m clueless!”

He says that, but he has a hunch. He did interact with Hikaru at the family restaurant. Before deciding his second playthrough’s goal, he dug a fallback pit for himself. But… could that brief contact really boost her affection this much?! Sis, aren’t you giving it up too easily?!

“No idea.” Miki extends her hand, a cool breeze grazing her palm like a kiss. “But love? It’s not rational or logical. Right time, right place, right person—boom, it starts. Spring break’s over, it’s springtime, everything’s waking up, mating season’s here. Teens getting fluttery hearts? Totally normal…”

“Stop, stop, stop!” He cuts her off, sensing the vibe getting weirder. “Miki, where are we?”

She scans around, looks down, up, then at him. “…Earth?”

“No, school!” His face is stern, righteous. “Miki, don’t be so romance-obsessed! School’s for learning! Only studying hard honors the tuition our parents paid! Stop fixating on stuff unrelated to academics! Miki, study hard! Have some shame!”

He’s sworn off romance this playthrough, so he’s extra self-righteous! As for Teacher Kojima in the infirmary… Ahem, that’s just physical, not emotional. Not love! So it’s fine!

“Well said! So reasonable!” Miki claps.

“Of course!” He smirks, basking in moral superiority.

“Then why did we leave class before the exam?”

“Uh…” His moral high ground crumbles under her verbal dropkick, plummeting him to the depths. Her reminder makes him realize something’s off. “Wait, weren’t we going to the convenience store to print cheat sheets? Why’re we getting farther from the school gate? You planning to head back to class?”

“What else?”

“What about the cheat sheets?”

“Haha, screw that.” Miki shrugs, her expression calm. “After that mess, we’re out of time.”

Ding-ling-ling-ling! The class bell rings right on cue.

“No biggie, a little tardiness is fine.” He thinks it over. “Actually, this mess gives us more time, right? We’ve got an excuse for being late.”

“No, no, it’s not that simple.” Miki’s face turns serious, guiding his logic. “Think about it. If we’re late, we’ll have to report to the teacher at the door, right?”

“Yeah.” He nods.

“And the teacher will look at us, right?”

“Sodesu.”

“Then we’re screwed.” Miki claps her hands, declaring GAME OVER.

“What’re you on about?” He sweats. “Is the proctor a Terminator? Shooting lasers from their eyes to blast us?”

“Ugh, A-He, I’ve spelled it out, and you still don’t get it?” Miki sighs, her mind razor-sharp, her words logical. “The whole point of cheating is not drawing the teacher’s attention, right?”

“True.” He nods.

Miki even employs high-EQ perspective-taking. “If I’m the proctor and two late students show up, compared to everyone else, they’ve got a ‘late’ tag, right? I’d naturally keep an eye on them, no?”

“Yeah, makes sense…” He nods. He’s read in psychology books that latecomers often draw more attention than those on time. “Lateness psychology” is exploited in many ways—like women testing a partner’s devotion by arriving late, or powerful people using tardiness to assert control, making others uncomfortable. Miki’s logic checks out.

“But there’s always exceptions, right?” He follows her reasoning. “The exam’s two hours. Even if the teacher notices us early, their focus will fade later. Why not bet on the second half?”

“Haha, fair point, A-He. You could gamble on that.” Miki slaps her chest, teary-eyed. “But I can’t! I’m a delicate, radiant JK beauty!”

“…” Her words leave him speechless.

“Proctors sit for two hours, bored out of their minds. Staring at a pretty student? Totally normal. A beauty like me already has a higher chance of getting caught cheating!” Miki’s distress doesn’t stop her analysis. “Now, I’ll go from ‘regular beauty’ to ‘late beauty.’ With that buff stacked, the proctor will glance my way constantly. Get it? Even if I print cheat sheets, I won’t get a chance to use them!”

“Solid reasoning.” He claps, impressed. “If you put that brain into studying, imagine the results.”

“Shut it!” Miki snaps. “Climb a tree!”

“…” He thinks, says nothing, and turns to leave.

Seeing this, Miki grabs his sleeve, panicking. “Hey, where’re you going? We’ve got an exam!”

“Didn’t you say my looks mean I won’t draw attention even if I’m late?” He keeps his back turned, waving coolly. “So, I’ll print some cheat sheets just in case. If I can use them later, I’ll skip remedial exams. You head to the exam—I’ll catch up.”

“…” Miki falls silent but doesn’t let go.

“Hey, what?” He feels pain as her grip tightens like iron clamps. “Miki, why’re you grabbing my shoulders? Let go, we’re out of time!”

“Hee hee…” Miki giggles happily.

“Wait, hold on!” A bad feeling hits him. “Why’re you laughing? That’s terrifying, Miki-nee, let go!”

“Hee hee… No going… You can’t go…”

“Haha.” His face breaks into a relieved, bright smile. He knows what she’s thinking.

“Hee hee.” Miki’s laugh is even crisper.

Three seconds of cheerful vibes later—

“I’m out!”

“I’ve got you!”

Their actions resolve in an instant. Shangguan He ducks to escape her grip and bolts. But Miki’s faster—much faster. She leaps, like a white leopard pouncing on his defenseless back, toppling him. Adjusting nimbly, her white-stockinged legs lock—one around his neck, the other across his chest. She clamps tight, her arms pulling his toward her chest. Behold, the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu cross choke!

He struggles, but all he achieves is feeling her soft, fragrant body more keenly. “No cheating!” Miki pleads. “As Yingcheng students, isn’t it better to face the fact we didn’t study over break? Honesty’s key! Will cheated grades bring true joy? A-He, Mom didn’t raise you to be a sneaky lowlife!”

“Shut up! I don’t know about true joy, but skipping remedial exams on a sweet weekend is real joy!” Locked in her hold, he crawls desperately. “And you, who dragged me to print cheat sheets, have no right to say that! Let me go! I’m not doing remedial!”

“Hee hee… Stop struggling! We can be remedial buddies this weekend, hee hee…”

“Bad enough you’re screwed, now you’re dragging me down?! Demon! Monster! Inhuman!”

“Haha, if my misery shatters your happiness, I’m all for it! Join me in remedial hell! Wahahaha!”

“Aaagh! Aren’t we friends? Where’s our bond? Share the sweet, share the bitter!”

“Sweet later! First, suffer with your granny!”

… … …

Ten minutes later, Class 1-A. A neat knock, followed by an even neater call. “Report!”

“You’re late! The exam’s been on for over ten minutes…” The sixty-something proctor sets down his economics newspaper, ready to scold, but seeing Shangguan He and Miki covered in dust, his mental language processor short-circuits. He hurries over, bewildered. “What happened? Why’re you two filthy?”

Miki answers calmly, “Report, Teacher. I was out blasting in the wild and fell.”

“Uh? This… huh?” The words hit like a sledgehammer, rattling his brain. While he can still think, he turns to the more normal-looking boy. “And you?”

Shangguan He grimaces. “Report, Teacher. I’m the blast.”

“…” Quiet, the old teacher’s getting grilled.