Chapter 16 : I don’t have money so I’ll stop

Depressed.

I easily fell into despair, and
Whenever I did, I had to find a way to alleviate it.

I didn’t know how to cope through constructive activities or patient endurance.

Sometimes, I felt like a moth drawn to a flame.

Even though I knew it would end badly,
I couldn’t help but chase the immediate pleasure, like throwing myself into the fire. It was exhausting.

So, naturally, I headed to
My usual haunt.

The gambling den.

As I stepped inside, taking in the familiar scent of indulgence,
Charlotte approached me, her expression unreadable.

“You know, I’ve been thinking. You have some nerve, pretty girl.”
“Hello.”
“Not feeling very ‘hello’ thanks to you.”
“Really?”

I didn’t understand the nerve comment.
Her attitude was strange today.

As I stared at her, confused,
Charlotte spoke, exasperated.

“You…”
“Yes?”
“You caused quite a scene last time.”
“Last time?”
“…”

A scene?
Me?

I racked my brain, trying to recall what I’d done.

After my failed attempt to assault Lucia in the infirmary,
I’d come here, depressed, just like today.

I’d had a drink. Then another. And another…

Then Charlotte had appeared, and I vaguely remembered drinking a few more.

A few might be an understatement, but
Was it enough to warrant such a reaction?

As I looked at her, puzzled,
Charlotte scoffed.

“Pretty girl, don’t tell me you don’t remember.”
“I don’t.”
“…”
“I drank too much.”
“And you’re proud of that?”
“Well, it wasn’t a big deal…”
“How do you know if you don’t remember?”
“I have a feeling.”
“Your instincts are off, Titania.”

Charlotte acted as if
I’d done something terrible and she was waiting for compensation.

She wasn’t the type to make a fuss over nothing, so I must have done something…

Fine, whatever.
I decided to apologize.

If it weren’t for her next words, which were utterly nonsensical.

“You were all over me, face flushed, clinging to me.”
“Excuse me?”
“Calling me ‘Shar, Shar,’ asking if I thought you were annoying.”
“…?”
“And what else did you say? Oh, right. You said you were frustrated.”
“Frustrated…?”
“You asked me to sleep with you! You were practically begging!”
“What are you talking about?”

I sighed.

She occasionally made up stories like this.

About how I acted when I was drunk, or high, just to embarrass me.

I might have fallen for it the first time, but after years of this, it was just pathetic.

I knew Charlotte had a playful personality, but
Did she enjoy toying with me this much?

“You… you think I’m lying, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“…”

I knew myself.

My true nature wouldn’t change so easily.

Unless I was high on happy-making drugs,
I wouldn’t have said or done any of those things.

I might have believed her,
If it weren’t for the “begging me to sleep with you” part.

From her tone, it wasn’t just a hug she was talking about. And I’d never looked at Charlotte that way, I swear.

“You were rubbing your big tts against me, begging me to ‘do it.’”
“Charlotte, that’s vulgar.”
“Hey, you were the one being vulgar.”
“Sigh.”
“These tts…”

Was I the only one who found it depressing that I’d acquired another ridiculous nickname, besides “pretty girl”?

I suddenly missed Lucia.

While I didn’t particularly like her shortening my name, calling me “Tanya,”
It was far better than “pretty girl” or “t*ts.”

While I was distracted, Charlotte started acting out the scene, as if
Desperate to relive the moment.

She leaned in, pressing her body against mine,
Her red eyes glistening with feigned desire.

She looked beautiful.

As someone easily swayed by beauty, I was momentarily captivated.

Thankfully, her ridiculous acting snapped me out of it.

“‘Big sister, big sister, please do it with me, why won’t you?’ That’s what you said.”
“Sure, sure.”
“There were witnesses. Everyone saw your embarrassing display. Ask anyone.”
“I’m sure they’d agree with you. After all, you’re the owner.”

My sarcasm
Infuriated Charlotte. She even started pulling at her hair.

Unfazed by her theatrics, I simply stared at her.
Then, she completely lost it.

“You… you… this is unacceptable.”
“Excuse me?”
“I was going to let it slide, but you dare mock me?”
“I wasn’t mocking you.”
“Sure you weren’t. Right, t*ts?”
“Who’s mocking who…”
“Enough. Pay up.”
“Excuse me?”
“Pay up.”
“…”

Extortion? Seriously?

As I stared at her as if she were a common thug,
Charlotte became indignant.

“No, I’m talking about the drinks from that night.”
“Oh.”
“And the drugs from before. You left without paying.”
“Right…”

She was right.

Charlotte wasn’t running a charity.
I had to pay for what I received.

But there was a problem. And I stated it plainly.

“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I don’t have any money.”
“…”

It probably sounded like an excuse, but
I wasn’t trying to avoid paying.

I simply hadn’t realized I was out of money until it was too late.

Who knew I’d burn through all the money my mother had left me so quickly?

Charlotte’s face fell.

And then, she smiled.

“Right. Of course you don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”

In that moment,
Her demeanor changed.

The friendly, approachable facade vanished, replaced by
A cold, condescending arrogance.

“I really hate it when people don’t pay what they owe. Especially after I’ve given them what they want.”
“Yes.”
“Usually, it’s money. Like this time.”
“…”
“Titania.”
“Yes.”
“Do you know what I do to people who think they can take advantage of my kindness and not pay?”

Of course, I didn’t.

But I could guess.

Despite our playful banter and my occasional foolishness,
She was the queen of this underground gambling den.

I doubted her rise to power had been clean. It was probably
Intentionally dirty.

As I met her dark, intense gaze,
I knew what was coming.

“You know how debtors are treated in this place, don’t you?”
“…”

Ruin beckoned.

People ended up in debt here for various reasons: alcohol, gambling, drugs.
But their fate was always the same.

Especially for women.

I remembered the brothel not far from the gambling den.

“Pretty girl, you’re quite unusual.”
“Suddenly?”
“Normally, people either cower in fear or beg for mercy when I say things like this. Or they get angry.”

I didn’t want to do any of those things.
They wouldn’t solve anything.

Instead,
I thought, Who’s the unusual one here?

People usually recoiled when I looked at them like this,
With my vacant stare. Without exception.

Nadia had even told me to get rid of my “dead fish eyes.”

“That doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Well, it is.”

But Charlotte truly was unusual. Or perhaps,
Special.

She’d actually complimented my eyes, saying she found them beautiful.

It was a shame our connection would end here, because of my mistake.

Well,
What could I do?

I accepted my fate.

…
…
…

“As expected, t*ts.”
“Charlotte.”
“It suits you.”
“Charlotte.”
“Maybe I should have made it smaller? This is entertaining.”
“Charlotte.”
“Ah, you need the headband too. Wait, what about the tail?”
“Charlotte.”
“Sticking it on wouldn’t do it justice. It needs to be… inserted. Properly.”
“Charlotte…!”

I snapped, yelling her name.

What kind of sick joke was this?

“…”

She’d done something completely unexpected.

She’d changed my clothes.

Not that Charlotte was the type to enjoy dressing up others.

After putting bunny ears on my head,
She held up a fluffy white tail, contemplating, then muttered to herself,

“Every casino needs a bunny girl.”
“…”

Was she trying to humiliate me?

Making me wear this ridiculous outfit,
Hoping I’d wallow in self-loathing,
Or be ridiculed by the gamblers and driven to suicide?

“Stop fidgeting. It looks good on you.”
“As if.”

If I’d known not paying for the drinks would lead to this,
I would have borrowed money to pay her.

I glared at Charlotte.

Amused by my reaction,
She burst out laughing.

“Sigh…”

I’d never sighed so deeply in my life.

I felt a mixture of anger and despair, glaring at Charlotte.