Chapter 19: A Choice to Break Free

Selonia hesitated for a brief moment, only to then let out a hollow laugh. The very idea of her indecision struck her as utterly absurd.

She knew, perhaps better than anyone, the arduous journey she had undertaken to become a lady-in-waiting at the imperial palace.

Selonia Brienne: that was the moniker society had bestowed upon her—the beautiful yet utterly useless illegitimate child of House Brienne.

Countess Brienne had begrudgingly permitted the abandoned infant found at their estate gates to be taken in.

Yet, she had never, not once, treated Selonia as a true member of the Brienne family.

Her father, Count Brienne, likewise neglected Selonia, constantly mindful of his wife, who had brought a substantial dowry.

For Selonia, burdened with the label of an illegitimate child and utterly friendless, her future seemed starkly predetermined.

No one would ever desire her as a partner, given her tainted status.

Her fate, at best, was to be sold into a second marriage with an aging noble or a prosperous commoner’s household.

Everyone in the count’s household, indeed, anyone who readily displayed their malice, echoed the same sentiment. ‘At least you’re pretty,’ they would remark.

‘That way, you’ll fetch a decent price.’

Selonia, however, abhorred the predetermined future everyone so readily assigned to her. Denied a private tutor, she would secretly slip into her father’s study, devouring every book she could find.

On countless occasions, she had been caught eavesdropping on her half-brother Marcel’s etiquette lessons through an ajar door, only to suffer severe beatings as a consequence.

Yet, she never surrendered. To give up would undoubtedly lead to the very outcome everyone had predicted for her.

She endured the beatings, she endured being treated as a mere servant by everyone in the count’s household despite bearing their name, forced to perform menial tasks.

She might not have had a debutante ball or received invitations to parties, but she found solace in the belief that effort would, somehow, pave a path forward.

The numerous books she had devoured had promised as much, and she clung to that hope.

It seemed fate, in its own way, had decided to favor her relentless efforts. Though she harbored no real expectations, applying for the role of a lady-in-waiting at the imperial palace had felt like grasping at a frayed rope.

To her astonishment, she was chosen. Princess Consort Camilla never disclosed her reasons for bringing Selonia into her service, but it mattered little.

If there was a period of true happiness in Selonia’s life, it was undoubtedly during her time serving the Princess Consort.

Having successfully escaped the confines of her family through the Princess Consort’s sudden whim, Selonia’s future had appeared remarkably bright.

The position of an imperial lady-in-waiting was, after all, an honorable one.

She had believed she would no longer need to fear being sold off as a second wife to an elderly noble or a wealthy merchant. Yet, despite her hopes, the imperial palace had ultimately become her tomb.

Everyone judged her solely on her origins, dismissing her with ease. Countless men had approached her, their intentions veiled flirtation, seeing nothing beyond her outward appearance.

In retrospect, it was only natural that she had so readily fallen for Alix, who had approached her with such a gentle smile, especially during a time when she herself doubted her own worth.

She had been foolishly ensnared by his paltry kindness, offered like charity, and by his deceitful whispers that so effortlessly spoke of love and promised a future.

In her naivety, she had utterly ruined her own destiny.

Thus, whenever her resolve faltered, vivid fragments of her past would resurface, stirring her very soul and sharpening her focus.

What good, then, was noble society, or the social circles she once yearned to join?

What had been the ultimate outcome of her previous life, where she had desperately fought to prove her worth?

Unlike before, a single tear now traced a path down her pale cheek, which, refreshingly, was no longer gaunt but bloomed with a healthy flush.

A moment later, she wiped away the tear that threatened to fall from her chin with the back of her hand. Her eyes no longer held sorrow or regret.

A firm resolve had settled within her: she would abandon everything she had striven to protect until this very moment.

She only had to endure for a little while longer, and opportunity swiftly presented itself. It was as if every circumstance had conspired in her favor.

The time for Alix’s diplomatic tour had arrived, leaving the imperial palace momentarily vacant.

If she were to depart the imperial palace now, she could gain precious time before his return. The surveillance that had shadowed her since she became a lady-in-waiting would surely have grown lax, offering her a chance.

While the thought of being recaptured by him was a persistent fear, she was determined to struggle and fight with every fiber of her being.

“You’re leaving the imperial palace?”

As Selonia, fraught with tension, revealed her intention to resign to Camilla, the Princess Consort appeared to deliberate for a moment, then echoed Selonia’s words.

Camilla’s eyes, piercing and discerning, silently scrutinized Selonia.

“I thought you were content here?”

Camilla seemed utterly unable to grasp Selonia’s reasons for wanting to depart. Selonia, her hands clasped tightly, met Camilla’s gaze with wavering eyes.

Of course, she had genuinely liked her position here, before she had met Alix. Yet, she found herself unable to disclose the full, complex truth.

“Recent circumstances… have arisen. I fear I can no longer remain within the imperial palace.”

She could have easily fabricated an excuse, perhaps feigning illness, yet Selonia opted for honesty.

While the Princess Consort wasn’t overtly warm and hadn’t cherished her deeply, she was, remarkably, one of the very first people to truly trust and select Selonia, who had struggled to trust even herself throughout her life.

Her resolve solidified as her gaze fell upon the small box containing the necklace and earrings she had brought to return to Camilla.

Though Selonia hadn’t explicitly stated it, Camilla seemed to discern the implicit meaning in her tone, letting out a soft, knowing “Ah” of realization.

“I’ve heard rumors that His Majesty has taken an interest in you. Is that, perhaps, the reason? It would be a boon for you, so why refuse?”

Camilla’s expression was an enigmatic blend of understanding and perplexity as she posed the question. Selonia, once again, answered with a measure of her genuine feelings.

“I do not believe it is a situation I can manage.”

The true reasons behind her inability to cope might have differed from Camilla’s assumptions, yet the Princess Consort seemed to grasp her words, letting out a soft chuckle and shaking her head.

“You could certainly manage it, I assure you. Provided, of course, that you are willing to become a little more ruthless.”

“…”

Selonia’s lips parted, but no words escaped her. ‘She could handle it.’

Did Camilla truly believe that standing beside the Emperor would be inconsequential for her?

In her previous life, she had been subjected to relentless attacks from all sides, even when she was merely the Emperor’s lover.

Yet, upon reflection, even when everyone else condemned and dismissed her, the Princess Consort had never voiced a single opinion.

She recalled how Camilla had always treated her as though everything was perfectly normal, as if her situation were entirely natural, offering neither criticism nor praise.

Was the emotion she felt now gratitude, or perhaps astonishment? Selonia silently observed Camilla’s long fingers tapping rhythmically on the desk, then impulsively broke the silence.

“May I ask you one question, Your Highness?”

“What is it?”

“…Why did you choose me as your lady-in-waiting?”

This was a question that had plagued her throughout her previous life, yet one she had never dared to voice.

But realizing that this might be her last chance, the words she had so long hesitated to speak now tumbled out with surprising ease.

At her inquiry, Camilla’s eyes widened in momentary surprise, before she let out a soft, low chuckle.

“Yes, I suppose you would have wondered about that. It’s rather remarkable that you’re only asking now.”

Though Camilla often graced others with a smile, this was the first time Selonia had ever witnessed her laugh aloud.

Camilla’s face, which usually carried an air of cool reserve, transformed, appearing astonishingly vibrant and beautiful with her genuine amusement.

A moment later, having collected her laughter, Camilla regarded Selonia with a gaze that seemed notably more benevolent than before.

“I found myself drawn to your unyielding will and sharp intelligence, despite your apparent lack of any advantages.”

“Pardon?”

“Your struggle in such disadvantageous circumstances reminded me keenly of myself. That, more than anything, sparked my curiosity.

I wondered what might happen if I were to lend a hand to your flailing efforts. It was, I admit, a decision born of both impulse and intrigue.”

“…”

As Selonia silently processed Camilla’s words, a crucial fact finally surfaced in her memory: Camilla hailed from the North, specifically the Grand Duchy of Lahardian.

Princess Arina, Alix’s aunt, and Prince Justina, Camilla’s late husband, had both passed away prematurely.

With the former Emperor and Empress also deceased, Princess Consort Camilla now stood as the most senior figure within the imperial family.

However, Selonia distinctly recalled rumors that Camilla’s standing had not been nearly as secure when the previous imperial couple was still alive.

Though the Grand Duchy technically belonged to the Empire, a prevailing sentiment among both imperial citizens and Northerners was to view each other as distinct peoples.

The vast physical distance between them had undoubtedly fostered divergent cultures and customs, widening this divide.

While a teleportation magic circle now connected the vicinity of Serdin Castle in the North to the very entrance of the capital, its use was restricted to a privileged few.

Consequently, significant cultural disparities persisted between the North and the imperial capital.

Even though she had married Prince Justina out of love, Camilla, as a Northerner, must have endured immense hardship to carve out her place within the imperial palace and master the intricate web of high society.

As Selonia remained momentarily speechless, Camilla tilted her head slightly, adding a playful remark.