Chapter 2: I’m Pretty, Aren’t I !

“Alright! Starting today, it’s Day 1 of farming simps!”                                                                                                                                                                                                               (TL Note: The term Yuksu Urigi has been translated to farming simps.)

[-??]
[-Brewing what now?]
[-?]
[-This one lol, she’s finally lost her mind lol]
[-Crazy b*tch.. crazy b*tch.. crazy b*tch..]
[-Let’s refrain from saying mean things like ‘her IQ dropped along with her rank’ everyone]

A flood of question marks and a rush of chats poured in at my bold declaration.

“Gotta change the stream title, too.”

First, to make my declaration clear, I changed the stream title.

[Farming Simps – Day 1]

Yep, yep. I think I did a great job.

It’s a title that’s sure to grab a ton of attention.
With this, even the viewers who left when I said I was ending the stream will probably come back on their own.

Anyway.

Seeing that I had even changed the title, the viewers seemed to sense that this wasn’t the usual WWE and began to mock me with gusto.

[-You farming simps? lolol]
[-For real lol, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all year]
[-I’ll farm simps (while indiscriminately banning everyone)]
[-What kind of simp farming is this from a b*tch who curses at her viewers all the time lol]

“Hey, you guys curse at me a ton too, what are you talking about? Stop with the unfair criticism. Now, now, everyone calm down and listen to my story. There’s a reason for all this!”

I swallowed my indignation and spoke.

“A while ago, I happened to enter a female streamer’s room on Chichi-jig, right? And suddenly, a 1 million won donation came in. She wasn’t even doing anything. She was just sitting there and it came in, she didn’t even get a pentakill with Irelia or anything… f*ck!”

It was true.
About a month ago, when I was still a man, I had witnessed that unbelievable sight.

I still remember being so incredibly envious.

But even though I was envious, I wasn’t exactly jealous or anything.

Because I understood.
I was well aware that the ability of female streamers to rake in money was on a whole different level from male streamers.

We were living in different ecosystems, to begin with.

…But.

But why now!

I placed a hand on my meager chest and spoke.

“I’m a woman too! Why don’t I get donations like that!?”

The indignation I had barely swallowed finally burst out.

I know I’m whining and being an eyesore, but I have to say what’s on my mind.

Why, for what reason, WHY is the amount I earned from donations today no different from when I was a man!?
What’s even more shocking is that I earned less than yesterday!

And I’m way prettier than that woman who got the 1 million won!

Of course, since I’m a no-cam streamer, the viewers don’t know that!

[-Isn’t this woman completely insane? lolol]
[-Today is f*cking legendary lol]
[-I’m a wuman too! lolol]
[-I can relate ㅠㅠ Tearing up]
[-This is clip-worthy, holy sht lol]
[-Unstable lol]
[-lolololol]
[-TL;DR: Give me money lol]

The chat room became a sea of laughter, as if something was incredibly funny.

I’m being the most serious I’ve ever been in my life right now.

“Okay, calm down, calm down! I’m not done with my story yet!”

I immediately continued.

“That’s not to say I’m blaming you guys. I’m an adult now, I’ve matured.”

I really wasn’t trying to blame the viewers.
It wasn’t just a simple ‘give me money’ plea; as I had just resolved, I decided to change.

In the end, this is it.
The fact that someone could throw a huge sum like 1 million won for doing nothing means that there was a genuine simp in that room.

In other words, I will create simps in my room too.
Instead of just getting tilted and playing League of Legends all the time, from now on, I will conduct my streams while occasionally farming simps.

“So this is the conclusion. I’m going to try ‘farming simps’ starting today. Please give me lots of attention and love!”

[-Ah~ so you’re going to make money off of simps?]
[-‘Lots of attention and love’ my ass]
[-You’re probably the first female streamer to say that so directly lol]
[-Whoever said she matured, get out lol]
[-Just ask for the money outright, you attention wh*re]

“No… I’m really serious. From now on, call me Gangnani V2.”

Despite me saying it with great seriousness, the viewers just kept snickering amongst themselves and mocking me.

To laugh at my resolve.
Just you wait. You’re all going to be brewed.
(TL Note: The MC is making a pun. ‘Brewed’ as in ‘brewing broth/simps’.)

It was truly the calm before the storm.
In the end, I would be the one laughing last.

Uhehehe….

As I was sneering at the chat, one message caught my eye.

“How am I going to farm simps, you ask? Hmm…”

For a moment, I was at a loss for words.

Right.
How am I supposed to do this?

I had boldly declared that I would farm simps, but now that I think about it, I have no idea how.

“I don’t know? Shouldn’t I just do it like this?”

Click.

I picked out an annoying chat from a moment ago and displayed it on the screen.

“What kind of bullsht are you spouting, you b*stard? No, I mean, Ghost Bride-nim. Why are you speaking so harshly?”

The chat started spamming ‘Huk’, and I presented Ghost Bride with a choice.

“There are only two ways… no, one way for you to survive. Uheheheh.”

Normally, I would have just said ‘Answer’ and engaged in some WWE, but now, I had something to try.

[-What is it?]

Sometimes there are reckless idiots who leave the moment they get caught in Mordekaiser’s ult, but thankfully, Ghost Bride answered my words immediately.

I replied to that chat in a slightly grim tone.

“You… shall become my simp.”

Nailed it.
Even I think that was cool.
If this were a manga, it would be a famous line accompanied by a ‘DU-DOOM!’ sound effect.

Perhaps Ghost Bride was also impressed by my cool line, because,

[-I’ll be your simp… please spare me]

He immediately became my simp.

“Alright, alright, I’ll forgive you, because you’re my simp! And what’s this? Farming simps is so f*cking easy, isn’t it? Hmm… there are 330 viewers in our stream right now, so if I just put them all in Mordekaiser’s ult one by one like I just did, theoretically, they’ll all become my simps, right?”

[-The hell lol]
[-The Gangnani method of taming simps lol]
[-Theoretically possible lol]
[-I’ll be a simp too, so can I provoke you all the time?]
[-What kind of simp farming is that, you b*tch? That’s blackmail.]

“Hmm… Is that so?”

The backlash was quite strong.
It seemed this wasn’t the right way.

“Then what am I supposed to do? I really don’t know. Why are you asking us? Well, that’s true, but…”

This is hard.
I get why they say not to act without thinking. I really can’t think of anything.

Should I just try to imitate the image of a female streamer that I have in my head?

You know, the kind that acts cute with a lisp.

I tried to imagine myself like that for a moment.

“……”

Goosebumps instantly broke out all over my body.

Ugh… I’m gonna puke.

[-Can’t you just turn on your cam?]
[-For real, what kind of simp-farming stream doesn’t have a cam?]
[-Even VTubers have a cam at home]
[-How about becoming a VTuber while you’re at it?]
[-What do you mean VTuber, sh*t]

Suddenly, opinions telling me to buy a cam and suggestions from VTuber advocates to become a VTuber flooded the chat.

“A cam? That’s a bit of a burden… A VTuber? Doesn’t that cost a lot of money? I’m broke.”

In reality, a cam was a bit of a burden for me.
It wasn’t just a matter of revealing my face or not.

What was it… I’d have to put on makeup, right? It’s not like I can just show my bare face. Nowadays, it seems like they set up lighting and stuff too. I don’t even know how to do any of that.

Of course, by my standards, my bare face is pretty enough to pass, but still.

Hmm… what should I do?

But if I want to make money, it seems like using a cam is the right way to go.

[-Then what the hell are you going to do?]
[-I’ll change (while saying no to everything)]
[-Upvote for Gangnani who’s not confident in her looks lol]
[-Go for VTuber]
[-What’s with these f*ckers who keep recommending VTuber?]
[-Let’s just do a half-cam]

What a chaotic chat room.
I could even see viewers fighting each other like it was a real UFC match.

‘Are they fighting because of the VTuber thing?’

It’s true that VTubers are the trend these days.
If you go to the Chichi-jig main page, most of the streamers at the top are VTubers.

“Ah… okay, okay. I’ll positively consider the cam. So everyone, stop!”

[-For real, why are you getting so invested?]
[-Just ignore the trolls]

Just when I thought I had finally mediated the situation, this time, viewers started fighting about why they were getting so invested.

These guys are so consistent.
That’s why I like them.

Just then.

Ddi-ri-ring.

The sound that Kang Bom selected as the most beautiful in the world.
The donation alert sound that could only be heard for donations of 10,000 won or more.

“Huh…!?”

[ㅇㅇ has donated 30,000 won!]
[This is a cam support fund.]

I checked and the amount was a whopping 30,000 won.
(TL Note: 30,000 KRW is about $22 USD.)
My eyes widened at this enormous sum.
Even the viewers who had been fighting until just a moment ago all spammed ‘Kyaa’ in the chat.

You might say, what’s the big deal about a mere 30,000 won, but for someone who constantly gets hit with thousand-won punches, let alone ten-thousand won, 30,000 won is a really big amount.

My total earnings for today were only about 60,000 won, after all.

“Wow, such a huge sum…! Thank you, IEung-IEung-nim. The cam? I’ll definitely have to buy one. Thank you again. Ppucca-ppucca.”

[-‘Ppucca-ppucca’ my ass lol]
[-I wanna beat the sh*t out of you lol]
[-Been a while since I heard that lol]
[-I’ve been curious for a while, but what is ‘Ppucca-ppucca’?]
[-Newbies who don’t know Ppucca-ppucca should get out]

Ppucca-ppucca was my rather time-honored donation reaction.

The characteristic feature is that I only do it for donations over 10,000 won with the cutest voice possible.
I can’t be doing such an embarrassing reaction for every thousand-won punch.

That aside.

“See? See, everyone? The donation amounts are already changing, right? Is this what a simp-farming stream is!”

I never thought the effect would be so immediate.

So you were all laughing in the chat, but you were actually being simped on?

You tsundere-like b*stards!

Seriously… my dopamine is going crazy.

[-Ah… yup]
[-That’s right~]
[-Wow! So cool!]
[-It’ll be legendary if you take the money and run lol]

There they go, being prickly again.
Would it kill them to just be happy with me?

“Ugh, what do you mean, take the money and run… Anyway, that’s it for today. I’ll come back tomorrow after researching how to farm simps. So bye-bye. Good nighty.”

[-What]
[-Where are you going, you b*tch]

Ignoring the cries for me not to go, I cleanly pressed the ‘End Stream’ button.

From experience, I knew there was no end to it if I got dragged into every little thing like that.

“Hwaaaaaaah….”

I leaned back in my chair and stretched out.

Somehow, today felt really fulfilling.
A day that would fit a title like ‘The Beginning of a Change!’ perhaps?

But I’m still very inexperienced.

No, not inexperienced, I’m completely clueless.

I guess this is normal.
How would a guy who only plays League of Legends know how to farm simps? Besides, I’m not the type to enjoy watching female streamers regularly. I only know the simp jokes that float around on internet communities.

If so, I must study.
The ‘simp-taming methods’ used by female streamers.

Without going to sleep right away, I went onto Chichi-jig.

Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can win a hundred battles