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That night, I dreamed for the first time.
Dreams in Catsy’s dimension didn’t count—those were more like immersive roles, not true dreams.
Since arriving here, I’d never dreamed, despite yearning to see family or friends, even in sleep. My wishes were never granted. But this time… an exception.
In the dream, I was chased by the nightmare.
“Help! Someone, please…!”
Its ghastly, disheveled form, mouth gaping to my ears, pursued me, clawing for my throat. I ran frantically through an endless void.
A vicious nightmare.
Why now, two days after returning from Catsy’s dimension? I hadn’t dreamed then, despite nearly dying.
“Gasp!”
Waking, my body trembled, the nightmare’s aftershock lingering. My heart pounded, fearing it lurked nearby.
My gaze fell on the wall separating my room from Bernell’s. Realizing he, with his warding powers, was there calmed me instantly.
Then it clicked—why the nightmare came.
Bernell was the trigger.
Seeing him revived memories of nearly dying in the mansion, manifesting as this dream to torment me.
No wonder my mind wasn’t unscathed after such an ordeal.
I’d suppressed those emotions, but now, in safety, the dam broke, flooding me with fear.
Like staying composed in danger, only to collapse when safe.
Yet Bernell was both trigger and antidote. He’d fought that nightmare, and now, as a demigod, he was stronger.
With him here, I wouldn’t be helplessly chased as in the dream. I believed that.
Though Bernell seemed displeased as a café worker, he still saw me as Aileen. His drive to protect me stemmed not from duty to the café but from a brotherly vow to save his sister.
“Sigh…”
I usually woke at 6 a.m. sharp after sleeping at midnight, my body a clock with a five-minute margin, always refreshed.
But the dream’s weight blurred my eyes. Judging by the lingering grogginess, it was likely 3 or 4 a.m.
With no sun or moon here, my body was my only timekeeper.
“Can’t sleep…”
Lying in bed, sleep eluded me, haunted by the fear of another nightmare. Closing my eyes, the creature’s grotesque pursuit flashed vividly.
Bernell’s presence reassured me, but he couldn’t stop my dreams, could he?
“Sigh…”
Then I remembered the silver vine flower tea. Since serving it to Catsy, it gained a special effect: nightmare prevention.
Perfect for now. I left my room to brew some.
The clinking of dishes didn’t wake the pig-bird, fast asleep.
It had thrown tantrums, insisting on sleeping on the second floor with me, but its bulky frame and short legs couldn’t manage the stairs.
I had to wait until it slept to come up.
Creak.
A door opened—likely Bernell, roused by the noise. Feeling guilty, I brewed an extra cup.
That night, we sipped tea quietly across the counter, and I fell back into a deep sleep.
I was grateful Bernell asked no questions in the stillness.
Whether it was the tea’s effect or his silent presence, the night was peaceful.
Bernell’s POV
A brutal battlefield, neither side claiming victory.
I thought I’d die.
“Ha… ugh…”
A barbarian’s massive claw pierced my armor, tearing through me. A fatal wound, beyond recovery.
As a knight, dying for the empire was honorable, but regret gnawed.
I didn’t want to die like this.
As strength drained, memories of Abelgart manor and my family flooded in.
“Father… Charlotte… Aileen…”
Especially Aileen, my sister, comatose since childhood.
“Brother, can I grow up to be a great knight like you?”
I’d strived to honor her dream of becoming a knight like me. Even while she slept, I upheld our family’s name, hoping to inspire her if she woke.
The pain dulled, my body growing heavy, unmovable.
‘If Aileen woke, I’d teach her diligently…’
Why wouldn’t she wake from such a sweet dream?
‘If I could return alive, see Aileen again…’
I imagined a miracle—returning to the manor.
Father and the household welcoming me, Aileen rising from her bed with a radiant smile.
Training her in swordsmanship, teaching her, living happily—a daydream.
Even as a dream, it felt so real, each moment drenched in joy.
‘If dreams are this sweet, I understand why you won’t wake.’
If death meant an eternal happy dream, it didn’t seem so bad.
But the sweet fulfillment twisted, turning grotesque. Our mother, in a monstrous form, ravaged the manor and attacked Aileen.
Was this punishment?
For failing Aileen, seeking escape in happy dreams?
‘Aileen…’
I couldn’t fail her, even in a dream.
I fought the monster to let her escape, but why was she at that cursed lake?
The lake that stole her for fifteen years was ready to swallow her again.
Ignoring my pleas, Aileen dove in—yet, unlike before, she swam skillfully, reaching the rocky island.
Seeing her, I felt… relief.
A weight lifted, a sense of freedom.
“Found what you’re looking for, meow?”
“Got it. Catsy, that’s my dreamcatcher.”
“Hmm, what to do, maybe? Retrieve it, maybe?”
Voices, out of place, echoed in my dulled ears.
“Rip it out, and it’ll break, meow. I don’t want a broken one.”
“Can it even be removed, meow? It’s fused, meow.”
Meowing voices, like cats speaking, grew closer.
“Hmm, want to live, maybe? Shall I save you, maybe?”
“Save him, and he’s a demigod, meow? Catsy gonna raise him, meow?”
“Catsy only cares for dream cats.”
Whoosh.
My foggy mind cleared as if doused with cold water. Pain vanished, vitality surged, and my heavy body felt light, movable.
Touching my chest, the piercing wound was gone, perfectly healed.
“He’s a decent vessel. Maybe not Catsy’s level, but a high-tier god if fully realized?”
Turning to the voices, I saw a stunning noblewoman and three children watching me.
This battlefield, ravaged by barbarians, wasn’t a place for such pristine figures. They weren’t ordinary.
“Are you… gods?”
“We’re godlings, but Catsy’s a real god.”
“Then… here to claim my soul?”
“Half right, half wrong, maybe?”
Their casual, slightly curt explanation revealed my dream was real in another dimension, fueled by divine power.
Memories of those dream days crystallized, sparking fierce desire.
Aileen never woke, leaving a bitter taste, yet the satisfaction was overwhelming.
The Aileen in that dream wasn’t real, yet…
“This is my end, so… as gods, can you grant my final wish? I want to see Aileen again before I die.”
“Which Aileen do you mean, maybe?”
I couldn’t answer easily.
Which one? Why was I hesitating?
I thought it was the real Aileen, but was that my true desire?
I don’t recall my reply.
When I came to, I stood in a strange space.
A small plot, smaller than our manor’s garden, held a dilapidated building.
Beyond it, nothing but empty void.
And then…
“Bernell?”
A woman, likely the building’s owner, called my name familiarly.
Her face was unfamiliar, yet her aura felt known.
“Not coming in?”
“Aileen…?”
Her face and voice bore no resemblance to Aileen, yet she evoked her.
“I used that name, but I’m not really that Aileen.”
Then I recalled the gods’ talk of a real dream dimension.
She was that Aileen.
I’d seen her wounded by the monster, yet she stood unharmed, unaffected by plunging into that cold lake.
Relief hit me, followed by a jolt, like a blow to the head.
Even this non-Aileen lifted my burdens, satisfying me.
Watching her cross the lake unscathed brought… relief.
My wish wasn’t to see Aileen—it was to ease my guilt.
I was a hypocrite, cloaking guilt as longing.
Fifteen years without a word eroded our childhood bond. My failure to keep Mother’s dying wish—to care for Aileen—fueled my lingering attachment.
I didn’t want Aileen; I wanted her to live well without me, free of my blame.
This woman, briefly Aileen, bore no resemblance to her.
Yet she gave me the liberation only Aileen could.
She showed me the Aileen I desperately wanted.
Who are you to me?
In the dark, groping for direction with only a candle, my mind was chaos.
“She wanted to give her brother those berries, no matter what. She’d want him to avoid foolish choices.”
Her words were a beacon, a constellation guiding my path.
The berries—shackles binding me to Aileen forever.
No one knows why she jumped into the lake that day. Only we two knew.
You, who know that memory… you’re her.
Just as I’m me, yet not me, you’re not Aileen, but… you were Aileen.
I must fulfill my role.
The old me, who failed Aileen, is dead.
The reborn me won’t fail. I’ll protect this Aileen, no matter what.
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