Chapter 25: A Glimmer of Hope

“…Apologize, you say?”

The iciness radiating from Nell’s blue eyes caught Sayoreinne off guard. Inwardly flustered, she maintained a calm facade, relying on her well-practiced poker face.

‘In the game, she was just a gentle, kind, shy, and cute girl.’

Nell’s normally impassive face was now slightly contorted, her eyes sharp and cold, fixed on Sayoreinne. This was a side of Nell she had never seen, never even imagined. ‘So, she can make that kind of expression.’

Of course, Sayoreinne knew this wasn’t a game. This was reality. Yet, despite knowing better, she found herself constantly comparing people to their in-game counterparts.

“…Yes. I want to apologize,” Sayoreinne repeated, bowing her head again. The gaze fixed on the top of her head felt like a physical brand.

“What… What do you want from me?”

“As I said, I simply want to apologize.”

“What are you hoping to achieve? What are you plotting?”

“Nothing like that, Nell. I just…”

Their conversation was a frustrating stalemate. Sayoreinne wanted to apologize, while Nell refused to believe her. The deep-seated distrust had to be addressed before any meaningful communication could take place.

After several minutes of this circular argument, Nell stood up.

‘Though she stutters, she’s making eye contact, however briefly, and saying what she wants to say… She’s starting to resemble the Nell from the latter half of the game.’

Of course, this wasn’t the game, so Nell could have changed regardless.

“…It’s fine. I… have to get back to work, so please leave.”

As Nell turned to leave, Sayoreinne quickly grabbed her wrist. She couldn’t let this conversation end like this, not after all the effort, including enlisting Ahrin’s help, to make it happen.

“Wait. Let’s talk a little more.”

“I have nothing more to say to you. Let… go.”

“I’m sorry. I know you’re busy, but… let’s just talk a bit longer.”

“As I said before, I have to… work. So… please let go of my hand.”

‘This conversation is going nowhere.’

A familiar headache began to pound behind Sayoreinne’s eyes. Nell’s refusal was absolute. Sayoreinne was at a loss.

“Alright. Since you have to work now, how about you give me some time after closing? That’s fine, right?”

“…As I said, I have nothing to… say to you.”

“So, you’re just going to keep this up?”

“…….”

Nell lowered her head, her lips moving silently. A brief pause hung in the air as both Sayoreinne and Nell took a moment to compose themselves.

‘I didn’t expect her to hate me this much… Should I just give up?’

During the silence, Juseong’s insecurity surfaced. Nell’s steadfast rejection chipped away at his resolve. He wanted everyone around him, including himself, to be happy. That hadn’t changed. But it seemed like Nell would be happier without him in her life.

This wasn’t a game world with predetermined outcomes. Nell’s bad ending might not even happen. Even if it did, in Nell’s case, money could solve the problem. So…

“Ugh!”

A sudden, sharp pain shot through Sayoreinne’s head. It was an attack from the original ‘Sayoreinne’, the first in a while. Grimacing, she pressed her fingers against her temples.

Nell, startled by Sayoreinne’s cry, looked up.

Sayoreinne waved her hand dismissively, signaling that she was fine.

‘I messed up…’ Juseong apologized internally. How could he get so weak so soon after making up his mind? His innate loser mentality, carried over from his previous life, was still lurking within him.

“Alright, just let go…”

“What?”

“Let’s meet… this evening. I really have to go now…”

“Ah, thank you, Nell.”

Nell, head still bowed, opened the lounge door and slipped out without another word.

“Haah…”

Sayoreinne sighed, stretching her stiff body. A wave of exhaustion washed over her, bringing with it a sudden drowsiness. Glancing at the clock, she realized she had only spoken with Nell for less than twenty minutes. ‘Was I that tense?’ She didn’t think so, but she felt strangely drained…

She closed her eyes for a moment, sinking into the sofa. The sudden urge to sleep startled her awake. She couldn’t sleep here, in the staff lounge, a place where she wasn’t supposed to be.

Stepping out of the lounge, Sayoreinne was greeted by a worried Ahrin. Seeing Nell emerge alone, Ahrin had assumed something had gone wrong.

“Miss, it seems like things didn’t go well…”

“Well… we agreed to talk after closing this evening, so there’s still a chance,” Sayoreinne said, stifling a yawn.

She wouldn’t be able to speak properly later if she didn’t rest.

After resting in her room and having lunch, Sayoreinne returned to her dorm to relax before heading back to the library with Ahrin.

Nell was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps she was on break or working elsewhere.

“Ahrin, why don’t you choose a book? We still have some time before evening.”

“Um… Can I read too?”

“Look around. There are a lot of commoners here, aren’t there? It’s fine, Ahrin.”

Time flew by as they read.

As the appointed time with Nell approached, Sayoreinne felt a growing knot of anxiety in her stomach. How could she apologize and converse in a way that would bridge the gap between them and allow them to become friends? As always, no brilliant ideas came to mind. She would just have to face the situation head-on.

‘She was one of the easiest heroines to win over in the game… but for me, she’s the hardest.’ Sayoreinne briefly indulged in escapism, imagining the kind, gentle, and favorably disposed Nell from the game.

Ding-dong

The library clock chimed. It was time. Sayoreinne rose from her seat.

She waited outside the library for several minutes before Nell emerged. Nell glanced at her, then walked past without a word. Sayoreinne followed.

Nell led her to a secluded bench in a shady corner of the academy grounds. Nell sat down first, and Sayoreinne took a seat a short distance away. Ahrin remained at a discreet distance, anxiously watching them.

“…….”
“…….”

An awkward silence stretched between them. Nell waited for Sayoreinne to speak, while Sayoreinne searched for the right words.

Finally, Sayoreinne broke the silence.

“I want to apologize again. I’m truly sorry for instigating those actions against you. I have no ulterior motives. I simply want to apologize. I’m sorry, Nell.”

Sayoreinne bowed her head once more, the third time that day. Nell silently watched her.

After much reflection, Sayoreinne had come to realize that what she had considered trivial and half-hearted bullying attempts had likely been far more difficult for Nell than she had imagined.

Nell might have been resilient and mentally strong, but she was still young and vulnerable.

The anxieties of her impoverished background and the pressure of maintaining her scholarship, coupled with the constant hostility directed at her at the academy, must have been overwhelming.

Even a little bit of empathy revealed how difficult it must have been for a young girl… Why hadn’t she considered this before?

Nell remained silent, offering no response. Sayoreinne kept her head bowed.

She thought about the bullies she had seen on TV and in news articles, those who perpetrated school violence. Now she had become one of them. She herself had been friendless, but she had never been bullied.

So, she couldn’t truly understand how Nell felt, but… perhaps the emotions she had experienced from her own family were somewhat similar?

The thought brought a lump to Sayoreinne’s throat. If she weren’t in Sayoreinne’s body, she would have been crying.

Nell Soltren was perceptive and sensitive. Though the last time had been ambiguous, this time, she could sense Sayoreinne’s sincerity.

Something had changed in Sayoreinne lately. She had noticed the change in her behavior. Sayoreinne had stopped the bullying and had been interacting peacefully with others at the academy. Nell couldn’t bring herself to like her. Was it because of the months of torment? Of course, that was part of it. No, even that was an excuse. The clumsy, forced bullying wasn’t the main source of her hardship; there were other, more significant burdens weighing her down.

From a young age, Nell had taken on adult responsibilities, caring for her younger siblings, working tirelessly, constantly striving. Even at the academy, after classes, she worked, studied to maintain her scholarship, and collapsed into bed, exhausted.

She resented Sayoreinne for mending relationships, for moving forward as if nothing had happened, while Nell felt stuck, perpetually struggling. Sayoreinne no longer wore that irritating smirk. Since the change, her expressions had become subdued, almost blank, but the rare smiles she did offer held a genuine warmth, a captivating beauty that Nell found particularly irksome.

She hated how Sayoreinne, who used to look down on commoners, who treated her like a lowly servant, now bowed her head in apology. She hated it with a burning passion.

And what she hated most of all was…

…the fact that she hated herself for feeling this way. She hated herself for resenting and hating Sayoreinne, when, in truth, the bullying hadn’t been that bad. She was grasping at straws, seeking to justify her anger.

And so, she…

‘I… want to change too.’

Just like Sayoreinne, she wanted to make an effort to change herself.