Chapter 26: A Maze with No Map

Seonghye furrowed his handsome brow and let out a low sigh. He looked down at Yunhwan from a slight angle for a moment, then took a long stride, instantly closing the distance between them.

Until that moment, Yunhwan was merely watching Seonghye with worried eyes. He hadn’t the slightest inkling of what was about to happen next.

“…!”

Seonghye pulled Yunhwan by both shoulders, buried his forehead into the crook of Yunhwan’s neck, and exhaled a hot, heavy breath.

“During a session, the doctor told me… that when dopamine starts exploding in my head, I have to endure it and not torment you, no matter what.”

“What are you—”

“I’m enduring it right now.”

So stay still, Hyung. Seonghye’s voice, muffled against his neck, was ragged and burning, unlike his usual tone.

The grip on Yunhwan’s shoulders tightened violently for a second, then loosened as if Seonghye were consciously trying to hold back, repeating the cycle. Meanwhile, something less hot than his forehead, but hotter than the hands on his shoulders, pressed firmly against Yunhwan’s neck and pulled away, over and over.

“…S-Seonghye.”

A flustered Yunhwan pushed gently against Seonghye’s chest. He realized quickly that it was Seonghye’s lips touching his neck, but the problem was that Seonghye didn’t budge. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Yunhwan’s waist like a snake and pulled him deeper into his embrace.

‘…I thought you said you were enduring it.’

A sense of frustration clouded Yunhwan’s face. Suddenly, the warning Junseong had given him the day they reunited flashed through his mind.

‘If the sight in front of him is too stimulating and Seonghye goes crazy, don’t hesitate, Yunhwan. Strike him and run. You remember him hitting Manager Park, right?’

It was easier said than done; his body wouldn’t move as he wanted it to.

While Yunhwan was caught in the dilemma of a lifetime, something heavy pressed against his groin. A groan, sounding like a small animal in pain, leaked from Seonghye as he rubbed his cheek and lips against Yunhwan’s neck. The unvented heat was rolling in like a tide, about to submerge Yunhwan completely.

“Hey, …snap out of it. Min Seonghye, stop.”

He couldn’t bring himself to hit the man, so he tried to stop him with words. It seemed to have some effect; the grip on his waist loosened slightly.

But the moment Yunhwan realized that the breath traveling from his nape up his jawline was Seonghye’s, his eyes snapped shut.

He was pushed back against the sink, unable to even reach the door. Yunhwan bit his lip as Seonghye’s fingertips, unable to restrain themselves, slipped under his T-shirt. As those fingers moved past his carved abs and climbed upward to touch the uneven, distorted skin of his scar, Yunhwan’s expression collapsed.

“Hey, no.”

The burn scar that covered half of his right shoulder and descended to his chest asserted its presence under the stranger’s touch. Finding his resolve, Yunhwan grabbed both of Seonghye’s wrists and urgently pulled them down.

“Min Seonghye, pull yourself together and look at me.”

“…….”

“You can’t do this. You know that.”

You can stop, so why do you keep doing this? Before Yunhwan could finish the thought, Seonghye lifted his head. His pitch-black eyes fixed onto Yunhwan as if nailed there. Yunhwan’s gaze wavered at the sight of the bloodshot veins webbing through the whites of Seonghye’s eyes.

However, Seonghye himself simply closed and opened his eyes slowly, his face turning impassive.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t do this. I know I shouldn’t.”

Seonghye added in a cracked voice, “I tried to endure it today, too…”

Then, he scowled deeply and stared at Yunhwan.

“Let me ask you one thing.”

“…….”

“When the treatment is over… will you still stay by my side?”

As Seonghye pushed off from the sink and stood tall, Yunhwan found himself looking up at him. The gaze Seonghye cast down at him carried a different kind of pressure than before. A twisted voice escaped his lips.

“Why do you look so shocked? I’m just curious about what happens to ‘us’ in the future.”

“…Why, ah, no. It’s just… I’m a bit flustered because you asked so suddenly.”

Unless something extraordinary happened, they were destined to part once the treatment ended. The contract Yunhwan had signed months ago flashed through his mind.

As a startled Yunhwan stammered his response, Seonghye’s pupils sank even deeper.

“Hyung.”

“…….”

“When you avoid eye contact like that, it only makes the other person want to be more mischievous.”

Seonghye blinked, his eyes lingering on the lines of the neck and shoulder he had just been pressing against.

“Even if it’s a one-sided imprint, it hurts my feelings when you show how flustered you are by that question.”

“…….”

He pointed a finger at his own head.

“Right now, the only thing inside here is you, Hyung. But I actually know nothing about you.”

Seonghye tilted his head with a blank expression.

“So everything feels like a maze. Especially now.”

“…….”

Then, his neat features began to distort subtly.

“You might not know… but there’s only one reason I’m receiving treatment without a word of complaint. It’s because you want it.”

As the darkness began to creep in, Yunhwan saw Seonghye standing with his back to the sunset. Behind him, the heat pouring down with the fading light was quietly breaking apart.

“I have to do what you want, what you hope for, so that I can catch your eye, even just a little. I know nothing about you. What you did in the past, what you like, what you need right now. So all I can do is receive treatment quietly and listen to you. That’s it.”

Seonghye took a step back, and the shadow filled the gap between them.

“Like a fool… I slipped up a bit today.”

A low, self-mocking laugh escaped him.

“From now on, I’ll have to be obedient, just like before.”

Seonghye stared at Yunhwan for a moment, then turned and walked out. Heat began to pool again in the space he left behind.

After returning home, there was no conversation between them.

Silence and stillness settled over the house, making every corner feel uncomfortable. As if to prove it, their paths never crossed; they barely saw each other’s faces.

Seonghye acted as inconspicuously as possible so as not to make Yunhwan uncomfortable. Just now, after Yunhwan finished washing up, Seonghye quietly took his shower and went straight into his room.

Seeing him act as if he were walking on thin ice, Yunhwan found it difficult to strike up a conversation. He couldn’t even bring himself to tell Seonghye to come out and sit on the porch because it would be hot in the room.

In the end, the sound of the frogs and the sight of the fireflies were Yunhwan’s alone. His neck, where Seonghye’s breath had touched, felt strangely sensitive and tingly. When he had checked in the shower earlier, the skin was swollen and red.

Yunhwan reflexively rubbed the area with his fingertips as he stared into the dark. On the porch, an announcer’s voice flowed from the radio frequency.

[This is welcome news. You likely all know about the 3rd generation pheromone stabilizer announced by Seoil Pharmaceuticals in the latter half of last year.]

The radio, tuned to a clear signal, was broadcasting the news that had been buzzing since this morning. Yunhwan listened closely and turned up the volume.

[…According to today’s announcement by the International Pheromone Association, Seoil Pharmaceutical’s 3rd generation stabilizer has been designated as the international standard. It is expected to be exported worldwide soon. In response, the domestic Pheromone Association under the Ministry of Health and Welfare is reportedly conducting an internal review to request Seoil Pharmaceutical to prioritize domestic supply for our citizens.]

The announcer’s steady voice flowed into Yunhwan’s ears.

He didn’t know much about pheromones or “traits,” but it seemed the new drug Seoil made was incredibly effective. Every medium—TV, radio, phone, and news—had been busy publicizing Seoil’s achievement for the past few days. Information about a world Yunhwan didn’t know continued for several minutes.

I don’t know exactly what kind of medicine it is, but I hope it helps people who are suffering like Seonghye, Yunhwan thought fleetingly.

The news that followed was the same as the morning report.

[Next, we bring you the following news. Due to the recent localized heavy rains and typhoons…]

The radio volume lowered again, and the insects grew louder. It was a peaceful scene on the surface, but Yunhwan’s mind had been elsewhere for a while. He couldn’t stop worrying about Seonghye, who had stayed in his room ever since they got back from the farm.

Despite what had happened between them today, he couldn’t get Seonghye out of his head because the man’s words wouldn’t leave him.

‘He said he wanted to be loved…’

“…He should have just asked me to protect him instead.”

The latter was much better than the former. The former was something he couldn’t give, but the latter was something he would gladly do.

Yunhwan, who grew up without even knowing the faces of his parents, was able to grow up strong thanks to his grandmother, who showered him with unconditional love. It was because of the love he received from her that he could remain human and warm through the countless trials that shook his life.