Chapter 27: I Said I’d Go Find It

My hometown, visited after a long time, was still the same.

Even though it was spring, snow still lay piled up, everyone wore faces that looked like they wanted to die, and it was a terrible place completely devoid of hope.

‘I wanted to escape this place.’

‘So I always pretended to be bright, pretended to be happy, lived constantly saying everything would turn out alright.’

‘Even playing that ridiculous role of a messenger of justice, thinking back on it now.’

‘I never thought I’d actually be treated like a hero(Warrior), though.’

No one on the street dares to meet my eyes carelessly.

No one comes up to acknowledge me either.

‘Because they were the bastards who constantly eyed our house, waiting for a chance to smash the back of my head and take what I had.’

‘They probably think I might harm them if our eyes happen to meet.’

‘Since they’ve likely always lived that way themselves.’

‘The person I came to meet isn’t you guys.’

‘Most of you are terrible humans, lacking only abilities, who wouldn’t be out of place being called villains.’

Still, there was at least one decent person in this dreadful place.

A childhood friend I was incredibly close to when we were young, and we liked each other.

The one I vowed to leave the village with hand-in-hand, whether we ended up staying in this village or if an opportunity ever arose someday.

But I alone was dragged off to the academy, and Ha-rin was left alone in this village.

‘It might sound like an excuse, but when I first entered the academy, I was incredibly overwhelmed.’

‘Meeting new, normal, passionate, and cheerful people every day.’

‘Kids who had lived in a world leagues different from where I lived.’

‘There wasn’t even anyone with similar abilities, so days were spent training, clashing with various teachers all day long.’

‘The occasional villains that appeared, and the sparring tournament last year.’

‘Helping kids who were in difficult situations…’

‘Anyway.’

‘Even though I was dragged here, it was a place where I could go outside anytime during weekends or occasionally, just by getting a teacher’s permission.’

‘So even after entering the academy, I met Ha-rin several times, and we even went to cafes I couldn’t have imagined back in the slums.’

‘But I was distracted.’

‘Maybe not so distracted that I couldn’t utter a single word of thanks to Ha-rin, who came all this way with difficulty.’

‘Maybe I was so distracted that instead of listening to the story of the child who came all that way to find me, I just talked about myself, blabbering about how fun the academy was to a child who couldn’t even come.’

‘She asked if I could please visit the village just once.’

‘When I asked why, she didn’t answer.’

‘Snow that fell in autumn doesn’t melt even when spring arrives, people always bundled up tightly in fur clothes, houses clustered together, snow falling all day long.’

‘And me, slowly passing the time beneath it all.’

‘The not-so-beautiful villagers, the surrounding scenery, everything surrounding me except for one friend.’

‘I intensely dislike the time I spent there.’

‘Because I feel I’ve never spent time as meaninglessly as I did then.’

‘Because those were sad days when I’d say out loud I wanted to become a hero, wanted to become someone great, even while thinking it was impossible.’

‘I probably endured because there was at least one person who genuinely cheered me on, but I couldn’t even recall that thought back then.’

‘I was just overjoyed at hearing I was some great awakened person and anticipating what was to come.’

‘I definitely said something.’

‘Whenever Ha-rin leaned against the window reading a book or petting a large dog, I always went over and asked her to play with me.’

‘I said I’d visit.’

‘Someday, definitely.’

‘And I said I’d get you out of this village too.’

‘For that child, everything must have been terrible – my changed appearance, the city she’d never seen before, the slums she had to return to again.’

‘Did boredom and discomfort pile up for both me and that child every time we met?’

‘When we were in that village, we could spend the whole day together without saying a word.’

‘We stuck together as if it were natural, without needing conversation, and took care of what was needed, but at some point, she didn’t even come to mind much, and when she did visit, I ended up treating her as if she were a bit of a nuisance.’

‘Because Ha-rin, who couldn’t even wash properly, wearing tattered clothes, looking inadequate compared to the friends I made at the academy, showed a slightly sharp side to me even when she visited.’

‘All she asked for was an occasional phone call, instructions on how to ride the subway, or if there was anything cheap at the cafe.’

‘Back then, I don’t know what displeased me so much, but I gave vague answers, and Ha-rin left crying, saying she hated me very much, that she was ashamed to have been friends with someone like me.’

‘Maybe that was when I should have held onto her.’

“Sh-She said she was going to the research facility! Sh-She wasn’t even doing drugs, but she kept muttering, muttering, about the research facility!”

‘Judging by what came out when I cornered the drug addict living right next door to Ha-rin and asked where she went.’

‘I had heard that if you go to the research facility, they awaken abilities in kids who don’t have any.’

‘Even when I asked my teacher how, she just brushed it off, saying she didn’t know anything besides fighting.’

‘I searched online for the research facility Ha-rin supposedly went to.’

‘The empty lot, surrounded by yellow tape, held only burnt debris.’

‘With a slight feeling of emptiness, I took out my phone and searched for the research facility.’

‘A news article caught my eye.’

‘It said the research facility was completely burned down after being attacked by an anti-social organization, and the researchers and the children there were massacred by the organization.’

‘Maybe I really should have held onto her back then.’

‘Maybe I should have kept her nearby somehow, even if it was illegal.’

‘If only I knew she would disappear so suddenly like this.’

‘If only I knew I’d never see her again after spitting out those words at the end.’

‘My heart felt completely empty.’

‘I think I cried a little while riding the subway on the way back.’

‘Because a child in the same car was pointing at me, saying, “That oppa is weird”.’

I returned to the front of the academy when the round moon hanging in the sky was clearly visible.

Originally, I planned to stay overnight in that irritating village, spend the entire next day with Ha-rin, resolve the ill feelings that had built up between us, and tell her I’d help.

‘Since I earned a hefty reward cutting down villains who weren’t much help to the world anyway.’

‘Enough money to at least rent a house, even if I couldn’t buy one outright.’

‘She would have been burdened, but she was the type of kid who would surely agree if I apologized and pushed her.’

‘She hated that village intensely too.’

‘Though maybe she hated the people around more than the village itself.’

While returning like that, I met the girl carrying a large bag… the girl whose name I still haven’t heard.

‘Someone strangely similar to Ha-rin in face shape and atmosphere, yet seemingly the complete opposite, making me wonder why I even think that.’

“You too, looks like you went somewhere.”

I spoke first.

Since she didn’t seem like the type of kid who would speak first, even if we walked side-by-side.

“Yeah, I went somewhere.”

“You?”

‘Thankfully, she seems to answer.’

‘She even asked back.’

“To my hometown.”

“Why your hometown?”

“There was someone I needed to meet.”

“Did you meet them?”

“…No.”

“There’s no way you could meet them.”

“What nonsense are you spouting now?”

Putting aside the thought of hitting her while saying harsh things like last time, I spoke, sounding slightly angry.

Because she was the type of kid who, before even noticing others’ feelings, might not even know what feelings meant.

Like someone completely devoid of emotion, that strange…

“No, just, well.”

“I also had someone I needed to meet, but couldn’t.”

Perhaps remembering what happened last time, or maybe trying to continue the conversation in her own way, the girl replied with an awkward smile.

“Who?”

“Not family, not a friend.”

“Someone you don’t need to worry about.”

“I wanted to see their face after a long time, but they were dead.”

At those words, something felt stuck in my throat, making it hard to reply.

“…That’s unfortunate.”

“Right, it’s unfortunate.”

“I think so too.”

The girl gently strokes the large bag slung behind her back as if it were her own child, gives an awkward smile, and speaks softly.

“Hey, just saying.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just hypothetical.”

“A thought suddenly occurred to me.”

“What do you think it would feel like if everything I had, things I thought were mine alone, the people around me, things I cherished, people who cared about me.”

“If all of those things gradually disappeared, leaving only me behind?”

“…I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either.”

‘The noticeable habits when conversing, the noticeable way of speaking, the noticeably sad expression.’

“Hey, Seo-jun.”

‘For a moment, my thoughts seemed to stop.’

‘The voice that just called me, though the sound itself might be different, everything else was exactly the same.’

‘Is it because I just came back from the village?’

‘Maybe it’s because useless thoughts are popping up.’

‘There’s no way the strange girl in front of me is Ha-rin, is there?’

‘Is there?’

‘Am I sure?’

‘It’s not like she died right before my eyes, nor did I visit her grave.’

“…Were we close enough to call each other by name so familiarly?”

“Yeah, we were.”

‘If she hadn’t grown at all, a similar height, similar build, the habit of clenching and unclenching her hands when hesitating to say something.’

‘The way she lightly bites her lip before speaking slowly when awkwardly trying to gloss over words.’

“Just kidding.”

My head screams that this child, the one right in front of me, is definitely not my childhood friend.

But the familiar sensation screams that this child might be that child.

“But you know.”

The girl puts her hands behind her back and slowly approaches me.

“I don’t think it’s just a joke either.”

I see her pure white hair shining under the moonlight.

Her movements are similar, but her hair itself doesn’t look dyed.

“I just came because waiting was a bit lonely, and I wanted to be with you.”

‘When she speaks, she takes slight breaths and talks gently, but her voice is thin yet incredibly low.’

“Because you’re still acting like you know nothing in front of me.”

Red eyes look at me.

The same color as that child’s, but red eyes that don’t shine at all.