Chapter 27: The Fake Girlfriend and the Drunken Ruse

Well then, that concludes today’s lesson.

Zhong Tian glanced at the time displayed on his phone, noting that it was already dinnertime, and thus announced the end of the day’s session.

“Alright.”

Chu Lenghu replied, then began packing up the art supplies alongside Zhong Tian.

“Hmm, Lenghu, your comprehension skills are truly excellent,” Zhong Tian remarked. “I believe you’ve already grasped the fundamentals of sketching, so next lesson I can start teaching you about digital comic drawing. Oh, by the way, do you have a drawing tablet?”

Chu Lenghu shook her head.

“Understood… I’ll recommend one for you, and I’ll bring mine along the day after tomorrow for you to try.”

“That would be great,” Chu Lenghu responded with a smile. “Thank you for the trouble, Teacher.”

“Right, then I’ll be taking my leave.”

“Please take care, Teacher.”

****

The following day, at noon.

Today was the day Zhong Tian had agreed to pretend to be Li Jianren’s girlfriend and meet some of his friends at a KTV.

Zhong Tian arrived precisely on time at their designated meeting spot, while Li Jianren, predictably, was late.

“Huh? Why aren’t you wearing a skirt?”

These were Li Jianren’s first words upon seeing Zhong Tian.

*Thwack!*

This was the first onomatopoeic sound Zhong Tian produced after their meeting.

“Murder… you’re killing your own dad—”

Before Li Jianren’s expression could fully morph into a meme-worthy face, Zhong Tian flicked his forehead once more.

“Alright… stop yelling,” Zhong Tian said, helplessly running a hand through his hair before shoving both hands into his pockets. “I’ll just sit there for about half an hour. You’ll have to deal with your friends on your own, okay? I don’t intend to utter a single word…”

“No problem at all,” Li Jianren said, giving a thumbs-up. “Anyway, those guys are just ‘surface brothers’; none of them are really good people.”

“…I’m not exactly a ‘good person’ either, so why are you calling me brother?”

“No, no, playing along with you will make others exclaim, ‘Wow, how could that scoundrel possibly have such a beautiful girlfriend!’ I absolutely love seeing people look annoyed at me but unable to do anything about it.”

Li Jianren struck a pose that seemed to say, “Let’s go eat barbecue tonight,” adding, “You see, we’re currently maintaining a rather ‘dirty’ transactional relationship, aren’t we?”

“Ah… so that’s the scheme you’ve been cooking up for me, you little brat.” Zhong Tian made to lift his leg, startling Li Jianren into straightening his back.

“I’m warning you, don’t you dare come any closer!”

“Repent, now.”

As he spoke, Zhong Tian flicked his finger, sending Li Jianren’s glasses flying.

“Ow, do you have a vendetta against my glasses?” Li Jianren fumbled to catch them.

“Perhaps,” Zhong Tian replied, shaking his head with a laugh as he walked ahead.

‘This weirdo… aside from those initial few sentences, everything else he says is just nonsense.’

‘His motive for befriending me was quite pure, actually.’

Zhong Tian had known this since they were children.

He recalled how, as a child, his mother had dressed him in a flamboyant skirt and gleefully paraded him out the door “for public display.”

It was that very brat who had toddled over, asked his name, and then, as his very first utterance, declared, “Please marry me.”

‘…But I’m a boy.’

Upon hearing this, the young Li Jianren’s worldview seemed to crumble, and it was the first time Zhong Tian witnessed his exaggerated facial expressions.

“Then let’s just be brothers!” The recovered young Li Jianren declared, clenching his fist at Zhong Tian and uttering words that, at the time, had completely baffled him.

‘Please, we’d just met…’

Thus, it was entirely Li Jianren’s unilateral decision to become so familiar… yet, over time, they both realized, ‘This person isn’t so bad,’ and had been friends ever since.

Zhong Tian pulled himself from his thoughts, as their playful bickering had led them to the entrance of the KTV. He looked up, seeing Li Jianren jogging to catch up.

“Could you at least hurry up a bit…”

“Alright, alright, I know you can’t drink beer, so I bought you lemon tea.” He handed Zhong Tian a box of WeiX lemon tea.

“…You shouldn’t be drinking either, you know? It’s better not to force it. Besides, you’re still a high school student; you’re not even old enough to drink yet,” Zhong Tian reminded him, taking the lemon tea.

“Oh, come on, some things aren’t up to you. It’s like ‘riding a tiger, hard to get off,’ understand?”

“I get it, I get it,” Zhong Tian retorted, rolling his eyes. “If you knew it was hard to get off, you shouldn’t have gotten on in the first place.”

He inserted a straw into the lemon tea and took a small sip.

“It’s fun, though.”

“Fine, enough talk. Lead the way.”

****

“Hahahaha, again, again—sojdhfudoaojsjidoso.”

“Hahaha, look at Jianren, he’s such a lightweight,” Li Jianren’s ‘surface brother’ A teased Li Jianren’s ‘surface brother’ B. “He’s already drunk after just a few cans, what a loser.”

“This Jianren is such a lightweight.”

“So, you’re pretty brave, huh?”

“Are you kidding? I’m super brave, alright? I can drink like a fish!”

…

Zhong Tian averted his gaze, sighing as he looked at the utterly unconscious Li Jianren.

In less than half an hour, that little brat was practically dead drunk. Still, Zhong Tian had been somewhat prepared for this.

“Hey, you, Jianren’s girlfriend?”

Zhong Tian looked up at the person who had addressed him.

“Care for a drink?” The person, holding a can of beer, appeared nearly as drunk. “Or perhaps a song?”

Zhong Tian coldly shook his head.

“Don’t be so cold, come on, over here, *hiccup*, let’s just let loose and have some fun.”

“…Jianren is drunk. I’ll take him home. You all can meet up again next time.”

Zhong Tian helped Li Jianren up, who, surprisingly, stood quite cooperatively.

“His girlfriend has to take care of him? Li Jianren, can you even handle your liquor?!”

Several boys sitting nearby inexplicably started to jeer.

“djksowjhdiaojshus…”

‘Has he already lost the ability to communicate normally? This is a bit exaggerated…’ Zhong Tian sighed, leading Li Jianren out amidst the laughter of the crowd.

No sooner had they stepped outside than Li Jianren pulled his arm back, stretching lazily under Zhong Tian’s astonished gaze.

“Damn it, finally free!”

“So, you were just acting?”

“What else? You think two measly cans of beer could get me drunk? Besides, how else was I supposed to leave in that situation without putting on a show?” Li Jianren ran a hand through his hair, wearing a smug, self-satisfied grin. “Honestly, with acting skills this good, it’s a huge loss for the entertainment industry that I’m not an actor.”

“Alright, I have to admit, you’ve got the upper hand this time.”

“Hmph, of course…” The still-smug Li Jianren suddenly seemed to recall something, slapping his palm. “Oh, right, right! There was a girl staring at me just now! She’s pretty good-looking! I think I might have a chance!”

“Wasn’t that someone else’s girlfriend…?” Zhong Tian deadpanned, giving him a fish-eyed stare. “What’s wrong with you? Are you a successor to Cao Cao’s spirit (TL Note: Cao Cao was a famous warlord from the Three Kingdoms period, often depicted as cunning, ambitious, and ruthless, frequently taking what he desired)?”

“Ugh, even a fool could tell she was ‘rented,’ you know? The guy who brought her has no talent, no character, and he’s not even good-looking. How could she possibly be his real girlfriend?” Li Jianren said, crossing his arms. “But, I think I sensed some hostility in that girl’s demeanor. Not towards me, but towards you.”

“Huh?…”

‘Was that really the case? I spent the whole time either staring at my lemon tea or watching those half-drunk people perform their antics; I didn’t notice anything at all.’

“It felt like she was looking at a love rival, so I think I actually have a shot!”

“Stop fantasizing, young man…”

“Hmph, who knows?”

****

“Hey, the guy sitting next to you just now, his name was Li Jianren, right…?” The Short-haired Girl, her arms crossed, asked the Photo Submitting Young Man walking beside her out of the KTV.

“Ah, yes, that’s right. What about it?” The young man, startled by the sudden question, replied nervously.

“And the one sitting next to him, his girlfriend… is she also from our school?”

“Oh, her? I don’t know her name, but she looks familiar. I think she’s Li Jianren’s classmate… probably their class beauty, right?” The young man nodded, a hint of yearning in his expression. “She really is beautiful, though… honestly, I’m a little envious of Li Jianren…”

The Short-haired Girl frowned deeply, seemingly lost in thought.

“…Remember, you’re paying for next week’s meals. I’m leaving now.”

“Ah, okay, Big Sister, have a safe trip… *Pfft!*”

No sooner had the young man finished speaking than he was struck by the Short-haired Girl’s “no second hit” (TL Note: ‘Wu Er Da’ implies a single, decisive blow, often used humorously to describe a quick, effective strike), leaving him in a “stunned” state.

The girl retracted her fist, then turned and departed.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she recalled the exquisitely beautiful girl who had been fiddling with her drink carton the entire time.

‘No, I absolutely must discuss this with Xiao Bai…’